Beka. That one word sets my whole world helter-skelter. Sadly Beka and her dogs didn't collect the happy bag yesterday. Gods above as much as I love this woman well all my Gods blest crooked heart she makes me crazy! How can one person have such an effect on me?

Last night when I got home, I found Beka once again writing in her journal. I really want to read it but I won't. I respect her privacy. I would be horrified if she read mine. Anyhow she stopped writing and just sat at her desk till I assume she realized my sleeping area was just behind her and she got up. As she was walking past she tripped and once again I caught her. I saw bruises on her neck and collarbone as I steadied her. My jaw clenched, I know I don't generally show it, but I hate when Beka gets hurt. Judging by the fact that she was wearing a robe I figured she had more injuries she didn't want me to see.

"Beka, have you put bruisebalm on that?" I asked her, she nodded yes and I observed her for a moment before saying "liar." she glared at me as I sat her down on the bed with me. I got out my bruise balm and gently began spreading it while asking why she didn't take care of herself. She looked at me and out the window before answering. "I don't know Rosto; mayhap I've gotten distracted… I guess I just forgot" she said. I shook my head at her and pulled her into a standing position with me. She began to walk back to her desk but I stopped her. She looked at me confused as I began to untie her robe. She tried to stop me and continue on to her desk but I caught her and said 'Beka, if I have to I will pin you to the bed and finish what I started, you know I'm both faster and stronger than you."

Of course she didn't listen, not that I truly minded. I was beginning to really like the position. Once I had her pinned beneath me I continued untying her robe and slid it down her shoulders. She was bruised all over. I took care of all her hurts but did not move. I pinned her arms to the bed and leaned over her until I could smell her sweet breath blowing across my face.

"Beka…" I started "look" I started again and sighed. "I care about you Beka, I've made this known many a time but even if you do not return the feelings I still consider you a friend and a good one at that. Please take care of yourself I don't know what I'd do, what any of us would do if you got hurt or died because you haven't been taking care of yourself. She said nothing only looking at me. Her eyes traveled to my scar and I released her arms. Her arm rose and she gently stroke my scar. Her touch was so gentle my eyes fluttered almost shut. Her hand dropped and I forced my eyes to open. "Promise me you'll start taking care of yourself Beka, promise," I begged her. She looked right into my eyes and nodded slowly. I stroked her cheek and leaned forward wanting to kiss her. At the last second I though better of it, but unable to resist the temptation to a point I kissed her cheek. Feeling awkward after such an intimate moment I whispered goodnight and moved my bedroll which I had moved for breakfast back beneath the window before going to bed.

I've never been so open with a lass about how I feel before. It was strange for me and I was restless. I stayed awake long after she had fallen asleep, turning over to watch her in the slight moonlight. I wish she knew how she makes me feel. She's this amazing gixie, and more than once I've found myself a-thinkin' I'd go straight for her. I'd give up my crooked life just to be with her…

'Tis morning now. Watching Beka last night inspired somethin' in me and I stayed up all night composing a song I hear in my head everytime we're together. this morning those damn pigeons woke up Beka again. I swear I've never heard a woman swear the way Beka swears in the mornin. she looked surprised to see me up and sitting at her desk.

"Have you been up all night Rosto?" she asked me worriedly. "You aint worried for me darlin' are you?" She scowled at my grin. "I'm not your darling. I'm not your anything." She told me but, didn't deny she was worried. I smiled but let it go and answered her question. "Aye, I was up. I had an idea for a song that's been a-floatin' around in my head for a while." Her head snapped up and she left the pigeons to come over to me. "I didn't know you composed." She said softly picking up my paper. She looked it over for a moment before handing it back. "Will you play it for me?" I shook my head. "Nay, its far from finished. but once its done I will." She nodded observing me with those beautiful eyes and turned away.

I looked back down at my music and heard her say; "I wish I could read notes," all quiet like and I looked at her. She was facing away, looking out the shutters and forming a horsetail with her hands. She dropped her hair and turned back toward me, shaking it out slightly. Trickster she's beautiful. I found myself wishing she didn't have such damn morals, then again if she didn't I wouldn't love her the way I do. Anyhow I told her if she liked I'd teach her to read notes. She didn't get the chance to respond as the others burst in bearing food and drink. I was silent throughout breakfast watching Beka and listening to the swelling music in my head.

This song is undeniably Beka's.