I do not own Naruto nor will I ever…I do wish that I did though.
There will probably be some grammar mistakes in my story so don't hate me for it, please. There is also a sad attempt at humor. At least, I hope its humor.
Itachi will be OOC in this story and occasionally the other characters in this story will be as well.
Let Me Out
By Kichou
What is the fascination for yaoi (boy on boy relationships) among teenage girls these days? Is it the forbidden fruit aspect? Is it the sinfulness of the taboo? Is it because of the fact that yaoi gives them a funny, pleasant feeling inside of their bellies that make them want to giggle and blush each time they encounter yaoi…ness.
Whatever the reason, the girls in Konoha recently (or maybe they always have) taken an interest in homosexual relationships in their tiny village. Gay couples were popping up left and right at an unbelievable speed. The first couple to be found out were not surprising in the least (at least for the ladies of the village the couple were not surprising). Iruka, the sweet, calm and sometimes shy academy teacher happened to be caught in an interesting position on a desk in the school with a well known copycat jonin (who we will name Kakashi). Rumors state that Kakashi was banned for the brunette's home for two months.
The next couple to emerge happened to be one Shikamaru Nara and one Kiba Inuzuka. It was a shock to all the people of Konoha that these two were together. How did they get together you ask? Well, it is said that when they were both in the market to buy their mother some…feminine products, they each reached for the last box of tampons. After an argument of who was there first, they each decided to split the box into two so that both sides can go home and the leave said home with all their limbs attached and with their PMSing mother temporarily happy. After another mishap with tampons the next month (and not using the same plan from the last tampon for some unknown reason), insults began to fly between the two.
After a comment about lazy asses who were going to lay about anyway so having a few bones broken by their own mother shouldn't matter, said lazy ass slapped said dog face on the ass shocking him, then grabbed the box (while lazily winking at him), paid the bill and left the building, all while maintaining a lazy stride. They have been together ever since.
More couples were found out month after month. Some couples were shocking, others not so. Who would have thought that Neji Hyuuga and Sai would get together? Who would have also thought that Gaara and Shino would become an item as well? It seemed that the girls of Konoha were both sad and pleased about the development. They were sad because the guys were turning gay on them, but they were please because…well, the guys were turning gay on them…with other handsome, hot, sexy (and what Kiba would often say, Kibalicious) men.
Lately, the female population of Konoha has been getting irritable, annoyed, angry and downright pissed with two men in particular. It would seem that Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki have been making the Konoha women inwardly scream on a daily basis with frustration and agony, not because of them being gay (because they were the last two males whom anyone would have thought would turn gay), but because of the fact that said fox and said…whatever the hell kind of animal the Uchiha resembled (some would say wolf with a snake-like attitude) were painstakingly taking their sweet ass time on realizing their feelings for one another.
If they weren't yelling at one another, they were fighting. If they weren't fighting one another, they were glaring. If they weren't glaring at one another, they were having sex…oh, wait, that's not right. Okay, sex wasn't one of the things they constantly did to one another, but the others were! Due to the fact that said blond and said blackette (or brunette, whatever), were so annoyingly stubborn and hot, the girls have decided that enough was enough. The moron and the constipated ice queen were getting together whether they wanted to or not.
Yes, the women of Konoha will finally be able to tell the world that Konoha had the best if not THE BEST yaoi couple in the entire world. By next fall when their yaoi convention was through, Konoha would be visited by tourist (which happened to be of the female gender and some men) from all over the globe. Oh, yes, the ladies would finally be able to sleep with smiles on their naughty, pervert (and satisfied) faces.
So that is the reason why a pinkette, a blond, a bluenette and a brunette have decided that said life changing situation was to happen at the future couple's teammate's apartment in a few days time.
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"So let me get this straight. We are going to kidnap Naruto and Sasuke, lock them in a room and hope that they will declare their feelings for one another…that plan is so stupid that I just want to punch the person who thought it up." TenTen (the brunette) stated as she sat at a round table with three other girls in her friend's apartment on a Sunday afternoon.
"Don't hit me!" Screamed Ino (the blond) as she crossed her arms in front of her face as a form of protection.
One would think that four girls could think up a better plan regarding the situation, but when concerning yaoi, sometimes the female brain gets a little fogged up with interesting images and inner people (for example, Sakura).
"For pet sake, I'm not going to hit you, Ino." TenTen said while rolling her eyes.
"With people like you, one never knows." Ino stated as she allowed her arms to fall to her sides.
"Did you take into account that the two guys we were suppose to kidnap happen to be jonins?" Hinata (the bluenette) asked while tapping her two index fingers together as her gaze was directed at the blond.
"Did you also take into account, Ino, that they happen to have the uncanny ability to kick asses first and ask question later sort of personality?" Sakura (the pinkette) asked as she raised one of her pink eyebrows.
"…I don't see any of you three thinking up and ideas for getting those two together." Ino stated as she crossed her arms across her chest.
The three other girls stared at one another to see if any of them had a better plan then Ino. Sadly, it seemed that all of them were stumped. You would think that being intelligent (as well as beautiful, but being in a gay world, who cared anymore) would have helped them to create a better plan then Ino, but that didn't seem to happen.
"I guess we have to use Ino's plan then. We, however, still have the problem of getting the two numbskulls to the room they are suppose to be locked in." TenTen stated as she stared at a fly buzzing around the trash that needed to be taken out two days ago.
"Why don't we have Sakura do it?" Hinata asked.
"Me?" Sakura asked.
"Her!?" TenTen and Ino exclaimed.
"Yes. Being the teammate, it would be easy for Sakura to call the guys over without being suspicious. Just tell them that you want them to help you move furniture or something, and when they get to the room, we can push them in, lock the door will putting on a jutsu for extra precaution and let them handle it from there." Hinata stated as she smiled at the girls, eyes closed.
"And when are we to do this?" TenTen asked.
"How about the day they come back from the mission. That way they would be too tired to do any jutsus to escape the room, but not too tired to do any other HARD work that might happen in there." Hinata stated as she rubbed her hands together in what looked like a fangirl like action.
"…That's not a bad idea." TenTen and Sakura said as they patted Hinata on the head.
"Hey, it was my idea." Ino yelled.
"No, it was your toss out suggestion, but Hinata's detail to it made it into an idea." Sakura said as she purposely smirked at Ino.
"Whatever, forehead girl." Ino said as she waved her hand in a gesture to what was obviously in an offensive way.
"What was that, Ino pig!?" Sakura yelled.
"Wait a minute! We still have a slight problem." TenTen stated as she separated the two girls from one another's necks.
"What's that, TenTen?" Hinata asked.
"Itachi." TenTen stated.
Yes, Itachi, as in Itachi Uchiha. It was found that Itachi was innocent of the Uchiha massacre. Who knew that it was the leader of the Akatsuki who did the Uchiha's in? Itachi did, that's who. After killing said leader, and bring proof of his innocence's (a diary and photos that once belong to the leader), Itachi was welcomed back with open arms (one of them being Sasuke).
After settling in, some began to realize that the once calm, cold and silent older Uchiha turned into something no one would think to ever happen to an Uchiha in history. He turned…nice. Too nice. He also became overprotective too. No one can tap the younger Uchiha's ass without the older one slamming a knife into their throat. Be that as it may, Itachi did have a soft spot, that soft spot being one Hinata Hyuuga. If one word was needed to describe Itachi's feelings towards Hinata, it would be love (and the frequent lust), the type of love that makes those on the outside become nauseated at the mere sight of said couple. Anyway…
"Itachi won't be a problem, right Hinata?" Ino asked.
"…I guess." Hinata shrugged.
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"Why are we here again? I'm dead tired, I want to go home." Naruto stated as he yawned.
"You promised for the both of us, thanks for that by the way, to help move Sakura's furniture. Did you already forget, idiot?" Sasuke asked as he glared at the blond for his stupidity.
"First off, you're welcome, and secondly, I didn't forget. I'm just tired and hungry, bastard." Naruto stated as he glared right back at his best friend (if one can call him that).
"Whatever." Sasuke said as he continued to walk.
The street leading to Sakura's home was dark and glooming. There was a feeling in the air that made the boys feel uneasy and a little worried. It was the type of feeling one would get when another pretty boy turned to the other side (but of course the two didn't know that).
"It's odd that a girl that can punch through a wall needs help moving a table." Naruto stated as he scratched his head.
"Whatever." Sasuke said as he continued to walk.
"Why thank you Sasuke, I thought that was a great observation as well. What was that? Yes, I do have a nice body. What? Oh, don't worry; I heard that that will grow once you grow older. You shouldn't believe everything that Sai says, Sasuke." Naruto joked as he walked pass Sasuke.
"Idiot." Sasuke said as he passed Naruto to knock on Sakura's door.
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"Shush, that's them! Hide! Hide!" Sakura whispered in a loud sort of way.
The sounds of running footsteps could be heard as the other three girls hid themselves from the boys outside.
Sakura smiled at the boys as she opened the door. Stepping aside, she beckons them to come inside her apartment.
"I need you two to move a large armoire in my bedroom." Sakura stated as she walked to said bedroom.
"What's an armoire?" Naruto asked.
"It's a tall cabinet, idiot." Sasuke stated.
"Should I be afraid that a guy happens to know what armoire's are?" Naruto teased with a grin on his face.
"Should I be afraid that you can even say armoire, idiot?" Sasuke asked as he smirked at the blond.
"Why you-" Naruto was cut off by Sakura.
"Just get inside already!" Sakura screamed.
Both Naruto and Sasuke walked inside the dark room, only to notice that the door slammed shut right behind them. They tried to open the door, but it wouldn't open.
"Sakura, open the door." Sasuke said as he tried to jiggle the knob.
"I believe I can't do that, Sasuke." Sakura stated in an evil like way.
"Sakura?" They both asked.
The girls were quick to lock the room as well as place jutsus to said room in less than thirty seconds. Inwardly laughing, they leaned against the wall opposite the door and beamed with female pride.
"I'm sorry guys, but you are not getting out until you admit that not only do you belong with each other, but that you are in love with one another." Sakura stated.
"…WHAT!?"
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"What is it Sai?" Neji asked as his lover turned his head towards the window.
"I have a feeling that No dick and Ice Queen are going to get together." Sai stated as he snuggled his lover.
"Uh, no, the images." Neji said as he started to make some strange noises in his throat.
"Now, now, just because they are not as good looking as us doesn't mean that they are unattractive."
"Sai, your reasoning is unreasonable." Neji stated.
"…Let's have sex." Sai said as he smiled one of his trademark smiles.
"…Fine."
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Sasuke shivered.
"Why did you shiver, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.
"I don't know, but something is telling me to kick Sai and Neji's asses tomorrow." Sasuke stated as he glared in the dark.
"What else is new?" Naruto asked.
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Sai shivered.
"Why did you shiver, Sai?" Neji asked.
"I don't know, but something is telling me to hide from Sasuke tomorrow." Sai stated.
"What else is new?" Neji asked.
They continued to do their naughty business.
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"I don't hear any confessions going on in there!" Ino yelled at the door.
"INO!?" Naruto yelled out.
"Yes, Ino! No, get to the confessions so that the lovin can begin." Ino yelled.
"What!?" Naruto yelled.
"STOP YELLING MORON!" Sasuke yelled.
"IDIOT! YOU'RE YELLING AT ME SO THAT I WOULD STOP YELLING! YOU STOP YELLING!" Naruto yelled.
"BOTH OF YOU STOP YELLING!" TenTen yelled out.
"TenTen?" Naruto asked.
"Yes, and Hinata is here as well so there won't be any need for you two to yell out her name too." TenTen stated as she rolled her eyes.
"Why are you all here?" Sasuke asked as he glared at the door.
The girls all nervously shifted.
"No reason." They chorused.
"No reason my ass." Sasuke stated.
"Let us out already!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Not until you confess." Sakura said.
"We have nothing to confess." Sasuke said.
"CONFESS, DAMN IT!" Ino yelled.
"THERE'S NOTHING TO CONFESS TO!" The boys yelled.
"CONFESS!"
"NO!"
"CONFESS!"
"NO!"
"CON-"
"Shut it, already!" TenTen yelled out.
"Look guys, we all know that you two love each other. It's been clear to us ever since the accidental kiss back in the academy." Sakura said.
The boys had shock looks on their faces, but of course no one could see it.
"What do you mean? I was disgusted!" Naruto yelled.
The girls all smirked.
"The both of you might have acted like you were disgusted, but your eyes do not lie. It practically screamed out, "SMEX ME!"." Ino stated with hearts in her eyes.
"Hey, if you didn't really care about the kiss, why did you and Sakura practically try to kill me that day with the other girls?" Naruto asked.
"Sorry about that, Naruto. Mob mentality." Sakura stated.
"The point is that the both of you obviously love one another. Those snide remarks, the violent fights, the glares only proves it." TenTen stated.
"How does that prove anything? That just proves that we hate each other." Sasuke said.
"The snide remarks were sweet words of affection. The violent fights were in actuality, lover's taps. The glares were soulful interaction of the eyes." Hinata stated.
"That's ludicrous!" Sasuke exclaimed.
"What does a rapper have to do with this, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.
"I meant ludicrous as in absurd, not as in the rapper, idiot." Sasuke stated as he punched Naruto over the head.
"Ow, bastard!" Naruto yelled out.
"This isn't going according to plan, Ino." Sakura stated.
"I know."
"What's going on in here?" A figure said at the front doorway.
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"Kakashi, do you sense murderous intent in the air?" Iruka asked.
All Iruka could hear was soft giggles as his lover read his trademark orange book. Shaking his head at his man's inattentiveness, Iruka walked towards his window to star at the odd pink apartment complex a few blocks away.
"Something tells me that Naruto is the target of that murderous intent." Iruka stated as he rubbed his temples in annoyance.
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"You did what!?" Itachi yelled as he glared at three of the four girls.
"We locked Sasuke and Naruto in Sakura's bedroom so that they can confess their undying love for one another." Ino stated as she hid behind Sakura back.
"WHAT!? You put my innocent brother with that boy!" Itachi yelled.
"If he's innocent, I'm not obsessive with weapons." TenTen stated as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"If anyone is innocent out of the two, it would be Naruto." Ino said as she smiled.
"Itachi is that you? Get me out of here!" Sasuke yelled out.
"He isn't doing anything, duck butt!" Ino yelled right back.
"I'm not having my brother forced into a relationship he does not want." Itachi stated as he walked towards the door.
"Itachi." Hinata said gently.
Itachi stopped mid stride and turn around. Hinata stared at Itachi and smiled as she walked away towards the living room. Itachi couldn't help but follow.
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"I want to get out of here." Naruto stated to a peeved Sasuke.
"Shut up. I think I have a plan." Sasuke stated as he walked towards the door.
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"You are looking as beautiful as always, Hinata." Itachi (the only sexy heterosexual male left in Konoha) stated as he wrapped his arms around Hinata.
"Why thank you, Itachi." Hinata said as she snuggled into the handsome man's arms.
"There is still the issue of freeing my brother, so I will be back in a jiff." Itachi stated as he got up from the couch he was sitting with Hinata and the other girls.
"Don't, Itachi. They need to do this and I don't want you to louse up our plan." Hinata ordered Itachi sternly in her shy, but gentle voice.
Itachi slowly turn towards Hinata.
"What did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Itachi yelled out.
Itachi grabbed an item from his ear and push the volume up on his hearing aid.
"Okay now, what was it you were saying, babycakes? Itachi asked.
"I said to leave them alone so that they can sort their feelings out, dear." Hinata said.
Itachi walked back towards the couch and sat beside his girl.
"Fine." Itachi said.
The girls all smiled. It seemed that Itachi was not going to be a problem at all.
They all heard Sasuke's muffled voice from the bedroom. It became louder after a minute or so.
"Big brother! Big brother, help me! I'm claustrophobic!" Sasuke screamed out to Itachi.
"Big brother's coming sweetie!" Itachi yelled.
"Itachi, get back here!" The girls yelled towards the raven haired male.
Said male's shoulders slumped as he walks back towards the living room towards the lovely, but clearly evil women.
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"It looks like your plan didn't work…sweetie." Naruto said as he laughed at Sasuke's nickname.
"Shove it." Sasuke said as he lean against the door.
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After an hour of angry yells from Naruto and Sasuke, the girls still felt giddy with the belief that yaoiness will emerge, while Itachi started to feel uneasy. After that, silence intruded upon them, which made Itachi more uneasy. The silence was too silent for him.
Itachi, seeing that he wasn't needed at the moment (and clearly wanting to get away from the four girls and their love from anything yaoi related), decided to go home and rest for his up and coming anbu mission. Kissing Hinata on the cheek and promising her a date on Sunday, he disappeared with a poof of smoke.
"You know, I feel kind of bad about locking them in there. We can't really force them to like, let alone love one another. Maybe we should forget this and let them go." Ino explained.
"…Get out, Ino." The girl's chorus.
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"Itachi left." Sasuke stated to Naruto.
"Damn it! What is he good for?!" Naruto yelled out.
Nothing obviously, of course Hinata would say otherwise.
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"I can't wait for them to get together. Think of the hotness, the sexiness, and the yaoiness. Think of their sweaty bodies pressed up against one another while Sasuke, who we all know would be on top, demand Naruto to be submissive and we all know that a submissive Naruto is a sexy Naruto. I can just image them all naked and wet with preparation." Sakura stated as she grinned.
"You mean like the time we peeked in on them at the hot spring?" Ino whispered to Sakura.
"You guys peeked on Naruto and Sasuke?" TenTen asked.
"What? You're hearing things, TenTen." Ino explained.
"I could have sworn-" TenTen was cut off my Ino.
:"HEARING THINGS!"
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After six hours, the girls were losing hope that the two would admit their feelings to one another. The past six hours were filled with yelling, silence, more yelling, the sound of broken vases (in which Sakura will definitely make them pay her back for the damages) and then more yelling. It was obvious that the boys would not confess any time soon.
After a few threats of bodily harm from the males to the females (except Hinata because even Naruto and Sasuke knew better then to threaten Itachi's girl), the girls finally let the two idiots go.
"Finally. I was dying in there." Naruto stated as he glared at the girls and left the apartment.
"Don't do that again, or I'll personally make it my mission to kill each and every one of you." Sasuke stated as he left right after Naruto.
"Well, that didn't go well." TenTen said as she lay back on the couch.
"Maybe next time we ask Lady Tsunade to think of a plan along side of us. She's brilliant. She got Lee and Kankuro together; she certainly can get these two together." Sakura states as she sat beside TenTen's feet.
The girls nodded as the each found a place to sit in Sakura's living room.
"I was wondering, why didn't the boys escape via the window in the room? Our justu didn't reach that far. You would think that that would be the first thing that they noticed in that semi dark room." Hinata asked.
"Well, Sakura and I…kind of…blocked the window unknowingly with the armoire when we were redecorating the room." Ino explained.
"Why is it that I believe that when you said unknowingly, you meant knowingly? I also have a feeling that when you said redecorating, that that word happened to be in-between two quotation marks." TenTen stated as she stared at Sakura and Ino.
"You are hearing things again, TenTen." Ino said as she closed her eyes from an incoming headache.
"When were you redecorating your room with Ino, Sakura?" Hinata asked.
"…Yesterday."
"Why didn't you tell us? We would have helped." Hinata said as she glanced at Sakura.
"I suddenly decided that my room needed a change." Sakura explained as she glanced nervously towards Ino.
Hinata and TenTen didn't know that Sakura and Ino blocked the window knowing that the boys would try to escape via window.
"Hmm, yes, it needed a change a day before we decided to put our plan into action." TenTen said as she stared suspiciously towards the two.
"Why did you redecorate your room so suddenly? From what I remembered, you absolutely love how pink and girly your room looked just last week. Why the sudden change of heart?" Hinata asked.
"…Shut up, that's why!"
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Sasuke and Naruto continued to walk home away from the pink apartment complex. They were tired, hungry and secretly horny.
"Maybe would should have told them that we are already dating." Naruto said as he grabbed hold of Sasuke's hand, while smiling.
"No. It's not any of their business." Sasuke said as he pulled Naruto towards his (but really it's their) apartment at the edge of town inside the practically deserted Uchiha district.
Yes, it isn't any of their business, but hell, can you blame them for being curious, after all SasuNaru doujinshi comics were always sold out for a reason.
The End
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Review please. FIRST ATTEMPT at SasuNaru. Be kind, please.