Chapter One: The Physical
Kenpachi Zaraki may have been the strongest, most powerful bad ass captain of all the captains of the thirteen Gotei but even he had his weaknesses.
His first weakness was Yachiru. No one could make him smile, laugh, cry, and worry the way Yachiru could and he thought that no one else could.
His second weakness is battle and finding an opponent that could put up a good fight. Basically, whenever Ichigo comes to Soul Society, he can't help but challenge him to a match and fight until he's knocked unconscious.
But his third weakness was something and someone he was too embarrassed to admit to himself or anyone else. See, Kenpachi hated needles thus hated getting his physical checkup and he feared the woman who gave him his physicals.
Well, he didn't fear her that much but she sure could scare the shit out of him unlike anyone he had ever met. And the funny was, Kenpachi liked the fact that she scared him and could get him so rattled and nervous the way she did.
Yachiru said it was because he secretly liked her and was afraid to admit it to himself.
Kenpachi told himself he would start listening in on her conversations with Yumi and Ikkaku from now on to make sure she wasn't learning grown up things too early before she was ready.
"Ken-chan! It's time for you to go see Braid Lady", Yachiru chirped in his ear.
"Stop screaming in my ear brat", he swatted at the pink haired shinigami on his shoulder.
"But Braid Lady told me to remind Ken-chan to go get physical!" she jumped up and down on his shoulder.
Kenpachi grabbed Yachiru by the collar of her shihakusho and set her down on the ground.
"So is Ken-chan going to see Braid Lady?" Yachiru gave him that puppy dog look.
"Look Yachiru", he kneeled down so they were eye level or as close to eye level as a giant like Kenpachi could get to a shrimp like Yachiru. "I know you want me to go see Braid— I mean Unohana-taicho, but I just can't", he stood then walked off.
"It's because Ken-chan's scared, right?" Yachiru jumped on his shoulder.
"I'm not scared. I'm not scared of anything or anyone", he boasted to his fukutaicho.
"So how come you won't go see Braid Lady?" Yachiru whined.
"Fine, I'll go already, damit!" he shouted at his somewhat daughter.
"Yay! Ken-chan is going to go see Braid Lady!" she exclaimed.
Kenpachi stood at the doors of the fourth division contemplating whether to actually go in or run before Yachiru got back.
He could just walk around a bit then head back to fourth division and say he went.
But Yachiru would probably ask Unohana if he really did get his physical and he knew Unohana wouldn't lie to her. Not even if he threatened her or paid her off.
Seeing no way out of this, Kenpachi took a deep breath and walked into the fourth division, walking toward his greatest fear: the physical itself and the woman who was to give it to him.
"Uh . . . Unohana-taicho", her fukutaicho peeked through her door.
"Yes Isane-fukutaicho?" she smiled her ever pleasant smile at her lieutenant.
"Um . . . Zaraki-taicho is here and he's putting half our division unconscious. Please do something before he knocks all of our division unconscious", Isane said worriedly.
"Did Zaraki-taicho happen to say why he was here?" Unohana smiled pleasantly at her fukutaicho.
"Uh . . . not exactly, he just—"
"Unohana!" he bellowed bursting through her office door.
"Don't you know how to knock?" Isane scolded him. "It's rude to—"
"That's alright Isane-fukutaicho. I'm sure Zaraki-taicho is very busy and has things to do and thus is probably too much in a hurry to knock", she smiled at Kenpachi while he just growled.
Was she making fun of me? Kenpachi thought.
"Look woman, I'm here for my physical and I ain't leavin' til ya give me one", he barked at her.
"Why you—" Isane growled.
"Isane-fukutaicho, why don't you tend to our unconscious, okay?" she smiled at her lieutenant cutting her off and ignoring Kenpachi. "I'll take care of Zaraki-taicho".
"But taicho . . ." Isane whined then sighed. "Alright, I'll leave you to your work", she bowed to her captain then turned to Kenpachi. "Be nice to my taicho or you'll pay", then she left them alone in the office.
"So Zaraki-taicho, you want a physical, why?" she asked skeptically.
"No I don't want no damn physical", he barked at her again then sighed. "But Yachiru wants me to and she won't be happy until I do, so let's just do this and get it over with".
Well . . . Unohana thought. He's doing all this for Yachiru. Well, I guess its good enough, although sometimes I wish he would do this for me.
Oh you do do you? Her inner woman asked.
No I don't.
Sure you do. Whatever you say.
"Well then", she beamed a bit too brightly. "Let's get started".
Kenpachi gulped then sat down in the chair beside her desk.
"Oh no, I'm not going to give you a physical in my office", she giggled lightly. "There's an exam table in that room behind you", she nodded to a door in the far corner of her office.
Kenpachi turned his head then sighed and got up.
Unohana followed behind, smiling inwardly while holding his file.
When they reached the door, Kenpachi jiggled the handle and turned to Unohana and said, "The damn door is locked".
"Oh", Unohana blushed stepping around him and pulling out a key from her pocket and unlocking the door. "There", she stepped aside allowing him to enter in ahead of her.
Kenpachi stepped through the doorway into the exam room and Unohana followed behind him.
"Please sit on the exam table and strip for me" she said taking a sit on the chair beside the exam table.
"Excuse me?" Kenpachi looked at her puzzlingly.
Unohana blushed when she realized what she said and saw the look on his face.
Yes, please, take it off.
"Uh . . . what I meant was . . . undress" she turned pink.
Please do. Let's see what the big boy is working with.
"Uh . . . I mean get naked . . . oh no . . . I meant . . ." she said now turning bright red.
Yes, get completely naked and take me in your strong, muscular arms!
"Oh no . . . what I really meant was please remove your shihakusho and haori so I can examine you better", she said in one breath looking away from him.
Kenpachi just chuckled lightly but complied and hopped up on the exam table and removed his haori and shihakusho, baring his muscular arms and toned abs and chest.
Unohana had finally calmed down her beating heart and turned to start the physical with Kenpachi Zaraki.
When she looked upon him, she saw bare arms, chest and stomach and turned pink all over again. But what embarrassed her the most was the big stupid grin she saw on Kenpachi's face.
Damn he's hot!
What?!
You can't possibly look at that man and not get a reaction.
A reaction?
Has it been that long since you've had sex or even seen a man nude?
No! At least I don't think so.
I don't know how you can look at that man and not be all over him.
Years of restraint.
You mean years of not getting any.
Shutup.
Fine. I'm done. For now.
Kenpachi Zaraki hated physical exams but just seeing his number one weakness blush like crazy at the site of him half dressed made it all worth while.
"Okay Zaraki-taicho", she smiled at him nervously. "Let's take your temperature", she said sticking the thermometer in his mouth.
Unohana held the thermometer in his mouth to make sure he kept it there. Knowing him, he'd probably break it in his mouth and swallow it.
"98.8 degrees. I'd say that's a little high but considering how high you keep your reiatsu all the time, that would be considered normal for you", she stated jotting down his temperature in his file.
"Maybe you should have your temperature taken since you're the one who keeps turning red here", he smirked at her.
Oh god! Unohana thought.
Hot and funny, what's not to love? Her inner woman chuckled.
Unohana had to admit, it was funny and she was always blushing around him, especially today. Any other time she had had to give him a physical, he would yell, cuss, and scream at her but this time, he was being so nice. She wondered why?
"Retsu", he waved a hand in her face. "Something wrong?"
"Uh . . . no", she blinked at him. He actually looked sincere and worried about her. Unohana had never seen him look like that. Or to be exact, he had never looked at her like that; he only gave Yachiru that look.
Come to think of it, Yachiru was the only woman (actually girl) he ever showed compassion and kindness to. Don't get her wrong, Kenpachi Zaraki was never mean to women nor did he abuse them or even think that little of them, but he didn't seem to care too much for them. She wondered, what was it about her that he liked so much?
"Well, let's hurry up and get this damn physical over with", he barked at her but not as loud as he normally did.
"Uh, right", she nodded. "Now I need to check your blood pressure", she said strapping the leather band around his arm. Then she began pumping the air into the leather band. After she released the air, she picked up his file and said, "Your blood pressure is 130 over 80. That's still a little high, even for you. You want to tell me what you have been doing lately?"
"Doing? Nothing but the usual", he shrugged.
"Un huh and what is your 'usual'?" she said raising an eyebrow.
"Um . . . let's see. I get up and eat breakfast, dress and feed the kid, do my morning exercises, train my squad, do paperwork, nope that seems it", he shrugged again.
"Um huh", she nodded. "Well, isn't taking care of Yachiru a handful?" she asked.
"No", he answered curtly.
"Really?" she looked surprised.
"Sometimes", he sighed. "But I wouldn't trade it for the world", he added.
"I didn't mean to offend you Zaraki-taicho—"
"Kenpachi", he interrupted. "I hate formalities."
"Right . . . Kenpachi . . . I didn't mean to offend, it's just that I was trying to get to the root of what could be causing your high blood pressure. You know, being a full time captain and a full time parent are both very hard to do and especially at the same time. I know you would probably be against it, but I think you should take some time off", she said then she added when she noticed his reiatsu getting stronger. "Not now but sometime in the near future".
"I don't need no damn time off and I sure as hell ain't gonna take one even if I do", he hopped off the exam table and headed toward the door.
"We're not finished yet Zar—I mean Kenpachi", she tugged on his arm. "Please sit back down on the exam table so we can finish", she smiled her ever pleasant smile.
"Fine", he gruffed then stalked back over to the exam table and hopped on.
Unohana patted his arm and gave him a warm smile before turning to the counter beside her.
When she turned back around, she smiled and said, "Stick out your tongue and say ahh", she demonstrated for him.
"No chance in hell", he slapped the stick out of her hand.
Kenpachi may have been a blood thirsty warrior, but he was no woman abuser.
"Unohana . . . I", he stuttered trying to get his words out.
"Well, if you won't do when I ask nicely, then I'll just have to use force", she grinned then hopped on top of Kenpachi.
Way to go girl! Go get your man! Her inner woman cheered.
Kenpachi was thrown back across the exam table with Unohana's knees pressed against his forearms.
Kenpachi was shocked at her strength and even more surprised at her audacity to jump on him.
"Unohana . . . just what the hell are you—" he tried to bark but she stuck the stick in his mouth before he could finish.
"Good boy", she smiled as she pressed the stick against his tongue and shined a light down his throat.
"Oman, you ad etter it ah ee" he said.
"What was that you say?" she giggled at Kenpachi.
Kenpachi summoned a large amount of reiatsu and grabbed Unohana by the arms and lifted her in the air.
"I said, woman, you had better get off me!" he growled at her.
"Well, I'm not through examining you yet!" she snapped back at him.
My, he is strong she marveled at his flexing biceps and abs.
"Like what you see?" he murmured.
"Excuse me?" she stared in his eyes or to be more exact, his eye.
"I said, what you staring at woman?"
"No you didn't", she tried to wriggle out of his grasp.
"So what did I say?" he tightened his grip on her.
"I don't know", she wriggled even more. "Let go of me!" she screamed at him.
"No can do", he grinned at her. Then he lifted himself up off the exam table.
As soon as his face was inches away from hers, Unohana's always-interrupting-at-the-worst-possible-moment fukutaicho cam bursting through the door.
"Taicho, I heard you scream and I thought—", she paused when her eyes fell upon Kenpachi and her taicho.
Unohana fell from Kenpachi's grasp and onto his hard chiseled chest.
"Omph", Kenpachi grunted falling back onto the exam table.
"I'll come back later", Isane left the room closing the door behind her.
"Sorry about that", Unohana said as she tried to push herself off Kenpachi.
"No, it was my fault", Kenpachi tried to help her up.
"No, I've got it", Unohana pushed back on Kenpachi, falling forward with him.
"Well excuse me for trying to help", Kenpachi grumbled.
"Well, I think I have all that I need to complete my examination", Unohana lifted herself on her knees.
"Oh you do, do you?" Kenpachi tugged on her sleeve.
Unohana fell forward again but did not fall completely on top of Kenpachi.
Kenpachi shifted himself on top of his elbows, pulled her forward and kissed her full on the lips.
That's it for chapter one and I'm sorry for those of you who hate cliff hangers but I must bid you a dew. Until next time we meet. Please review and tell me what you think. Bye.