Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing at all. Isn't that sad?

A/N: Well hello there. This is my new story, all human, and maybe only a little OOC for Rose, if I might add. It is going to be HILARIOUS because I am a really random person. So, get ready for the funniest thing ever. Yes I'm exaggerating…a little. Enjoy, enjoy.

A pinch of nuttiness

Chapter 1

Jimmy

You don't have to be a genius to know that Rosalie Hale, Alice Brandon and I are super best friends. Like c'mon, we only hang out together every second of every single day.

We just recently moved in together into a small apartment in Seattle. Small, yes. But it's nice, and of course, in style. Alice just styled the whole apartment that would put any interior designer to shame.

As I squirmed out of my newly bought duvet cover, I thought to myself WTF does duvet mean? Do I really need one?

The answer immediately popped in my head: Of course you do. Because if your living with Alice, you need everything.

I sighed. What a long night. While I was working, Alice and Rosalie went to a dancing club. Which I was happy to be excluded from.

Yes, I could not dance. Alice and Rose found this out last year when they brought me to a salsa club for our annual best friend day. I shuddered.

There was Tostitos and salsa scattered everywhere…

My eyes became wide. Not one of my most successful moments.

I heard a call: "Bella-a!" Alice sang. "Come and eat breakfast! I have a huge surprise for you!"

OH MY GOD. I hate surprises. Especially Alice's.

I mumbled my response: "Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a sec… let me put some clothes on."

She screamed back, "Alright, but you better hurry!"

Whatever she wanted me to see, she wanted me to see it now.

As I thought about the horrible things that could be happening to me when I go see her, I shivered and went in the shower.

xXxXxXxXx

The heat really did relax me. I tried to blow dry my hair with no luck. It got some kind of windblown look, so I just swept it up into a ponytail.

I stepped out into the living room, expecting to see Rose and Alice on the couch, sprawled out watching some TV. But no. They were in the kitchen. I'm the only one who cooks, I thought to myself. Oh well.

I should've stayed in my room. On the table across from me lay a small kitten, all scrawny and shaggy, on a brand new cat bed.

"Alice, no!"

"Yes!" She put on a pout.

"No, no, NO! I'm not living with some cat that is obviously picked up from the STREET!"

"Hey! That's no way to talk to my little buddy. No it's not, no it's not. Your so cute…" Great. Alice was talking to the cat, expecting an answer. She was already attached.

"Wait a second, you didn't deny that fact. So the cat is actually a stray?!?! ALICE BRANDON! What did you do?" I roared to her.

"Well, the cat just looked so innocent and sweet, and very sad… I wanted to just give it some food but then it looked at me with those eyes…" She drifted off.

"Alice, cats do not have feelings! They are animals! And don't tell me you got it because of its eyes…" I suddenly looked at the cat. It had the widest eyes I had ever seen, and they were so innocent and blue…

I snapped out of my daze and realized Rosalie hadn't said a word since I stepped into the kitchen. I shifted my weight towards her.

"Do you have anything to do with this?" I demanded.

For the first time, Rosalie looked… scared.

"Well, Alice and I had went for a jog and we saw it and I suggested that we could give it food…but it wasn't my idea to keep it! That was all Alice!" As she said this, Alice glared at Rosalie.

"Well, it's too late now." I said, defeated. They seemed happy so, what the heck. What's the worst that could happen?

A lot. The voice in the back of my head grumbled. I told it to shut up.

"By the way, do you guys have a name for it?" I asked, intrigued.

This fact seemed to slip by Alice's mind and she suddenly started shrieking.

"Okay, okay it was a question. No need to get excited over a question mark…"

She glowered at me. "I do like question marks, but it wasn't that. I am SO excited!" She squealed again. "We can look at names on the Internet, and get some baby books and buy it a collar with it's name rhinestoned on… YAY!"

"Hold on." Rosalie said, flipping her hair. "Can the collar be pink? OH and the rhinestones NEED to be fake diamonds, this cat has to look divine. We can get it some hair dye… A pretty shade of red maybe…"

"Girls…" I whispered. They kept rambling on.

"GIRLS!" I screamed. They suddenly became quiet.

"That's better." I grinned; happy with my accomplishment to make them shut up.

"Okay. First of all, you guys are talking about dyeing a cat's hair red, second of all, your going to make it wear designer clothes and last but not least, your getting BABYNAME books for a cat? YOU GUYS ARE PSYCHO!"

They stared at me, and then acted like nothing was wrong. ARG! They just giggled at some joke involving the poor cat in a thong. I didn't want to hear it.

I stormed into my room and went straight to my bed, sitting with a thump.

xXxXxXxXx

After a couple hours of reading Wuthering Heights, once again, I decided to go see what the two were up to. They've been really quiet.

TOO quiet…

I yawned. I really needed to do something today, since I have no work. To get out somewhere.

"Alice, Rosalie? Where are you?"

"In here!" they shouted from the living room. I strolled in.

"Shh…he's sleeping." Alice told me.

"I must admit, for a disgusting cat, he's actually cute." Rose said.

"Ya, he is. Wait, it's a guy?" I asked.

"Ya, I'm pretty sure. I've already gotten a name." Alice said, smugly.

"And what is this name?" I inquired.

"Yeah, Al, what is it?" Rose asked, calling Alice 'Al' to make her mad.

Alice glared at her. Suddenly, her face became thoughtful and she lightened up in an instant. "That's it! That's the name!"

"What's the name?" Rose and I asked together.

"Drum roll please…AL!" She screamed, overjoyed.

"Al?!" Rose and I, once again, asked in chorus.

"Mhm. Isn't absolutely fantastical?" She was so happy! Poor cat.

"No, Alice. If I were a cat I wouldn't want to be named Al. Not fair. Give the thing a chance to have a normal name. You don't want it to be rejected by the other cats, do you?" I said. "It will have such a tormented childhood…"

Alice looked sad, but she still had a sparkle in her eye. " Oh well. I had a back-up plan all along. The very first name I was going to give it was Jimmy." She said this, obviously very proud of herself.

"Jimmy?" I said, a little boringly.

"Yes, Jimmy. Doesn't he look like a Jimmy? Or would you rather me call it Billy-Bob…" She trailed off.

Rose spoke up. "Hehe…Jimmy it is! Let's go celebrate! I say we go dancing!"

"Didn't you two go last night?" I said, not wanting to go.

"Yes, but you can never get enough of dancing!" Alice squealed.

Oh believe me, you can.

"How about we go to dinner? At a fancy restaurant? Spoil ourselves!" I said, trying to get out of their scheme.

It worked.

"That's genius Bella! I never knew you were so smart!" Rose and Alice suddenly shrieked.

"Thanks for the compliment." I grumbled.

They didn't notice. They were already planning their outfits.

"You ready hot stuff?" Rose said to Alice, talking about going shopping for new dresses.

"Always ready for shopping, gorgeous." Alice replied back.

"What about you, baby doll?" They asked me in unison.

"Uhm…Girls? Why are you guys speaking like your living in the twenties?" I asked, avoiding the question.

"Because," Alice started, "We we're going to surprise you, but I guess it's too late. Rose and I are hosting a twenties themed party!" Alice shrieked the last part.

"Great…" I mumbled.

They didn't care that I was mad and slightly annoyed. They're very used to it.

"This-is-going-to-be-great!" Alice broke her sentence into parts.

"Totally!" Rose responded.

"Sure…" I said.

They glared at me.

xXxXxXxXx

"I need a list…Where's the list?" Alice said, exasperated.

"What list? You had a list? OMG I didn't know there was a list!" Rose replied, worried.

"The guest list, silly bob." Alice said, happily.

"Silly bob? I thought it was silly Billy." I said.

"No." Alice said firmly. "I am officially making it silly bob. The name bob is better that Billy."

"I agree." Rose said.

"I like Billy. Rose? Why don't you ever side with me?" I said, in a pouty mood.

"Because, Alice just has the best ideas. No offense." She retorted.

"All taken, thank you." I glared at her.

"You know you love me." She said.

I just smacked her playfully and gave her a hug. I heard Alice clearing her throat behind me.

"Enough of this," She commenced, "We need to get everything organized." She said in a professional tone. Alice can get very, and I mean VERY, obsessed with parties. They have to be perfect.

The next few hours were torturous. We had to make a list out of everything possible from types of food and drinks, to the guests, to where the furniture will be put, the music and even the color of beads people will be getting at the door when they come in.

"Is everything up to your standards, your highness?" I spat to Alice.

"Yes. Thank you so so so so so so so much Bella and Rose! You guys rock! I love you!" She cried obviously happy with the outcome of our hard work.

She better be happy or I will snap.

"So, when are we going to eat?" Rose asked. I heard her stomach growl.

Oh wait. That was mine. I blushed a cherry red.

"Well, I see somebody can't wait any longer. Let me go get changed. So…meet in the living room in 15, kay? Then we will go. Start!" Alice screamed. We all went running.

For me, running isn't good. I stubbed my toe against a box and cursed loudly.

Rose replied: "Did someone just swear or command an invisible dog to sit?"

I chuckled. This was going to be an interesting night.

xXxXxXxXx

"Girls, you all ready?" Alice said.

"Mhm." I replied, "Yep." Rosalie answered.

They were very happy that I cooperated and let them put a skirt on me. Believe me, it was difficult. But they threatened to take me dancing, so I stayed back and told them that I would wear a skirt. But not too short.

They didn't listen. I was wearing a black miniskirt with silver detailing and a sliver tank top with a long black-beaded necklace and sliver flats. I rebelled against the heels. It would be a threat to everyone around me.

We walked out the door and decided to take Rosalie's convertible. Why? I don't know. My truck was perfectly fine. They said something about going to a fancy restaurant therefore you have to have a nice ride. Whatever.

We were driving with the top up since it was windy and we didn't want to ruin our hair. Typical girls.

As we approached, our favorite song came on. We all screamed with joy and started singing:

Starts at my toes

Makes me crinkle my nose,

Wherever it goes,

I always know…

We were so happy! People in other cars were staring at us like we were crazy.

I just looked back and stuck out my tongue like a fiver year old while Rose gave them the finger.

"High-five!" I said.

She slapped my hand. "Nice one." She grinned back.

Alice smiled at us while she was pulling up to the restaurant.

The valet said: "May I park you car, Madame?"

"Yes please, Hose." Alice replied, oblivious to the valet's name.

"My name is John." He said.

"Whatever." She retorted.

"Hose!" Rosalie said, "please be careful with my baby."

"Yes, Madame." He said politely but he obviously strained to say it.

I just laughed at the scene. The girls do not take crap from anyone. I love them.

We walked in and a waiter signaled us to a seat in the middle of the restaurant with very uncomfortable looking chairs.

"May we get a more comfortably placed table please? A booth, perhaps?" Rose asked in a very seductive voice. Alice and I stifled our giggles. Rose did this often. We called it "dazzling" people. It usually always worked.

"Uhm…Sure…Right this way…" The waiter replied, a little stunned.

We burst out in laughter. Everyone in the restaurant had their eyes on us. I quieted a little, but Rose and Alice loved the attention. Let them have it, I thought.

We sat down in a booth. We ordered some drinks and a few appetizers.

As I chewed my mushroom ravioli, Rose asked us something. "Do you ladies want to try a flambé?" She seemed to like this idea.

So did Alice.

"OH MY GOD! I totally do!" Alice was a pyro-princess. She loved fire.

I simply nodded my head, my mouth filled with food.

They squealed.

When the waiter finally came, they asked for the flambé. According to Alice, this restaurant was famous for it's flambé. I was getting a little excited.

As the waiter brought out the flambé, two other waiters followed him. This was going to be a show!

I could feel all eyes on us. The waiter was showing us the flambé when Rosalie leaned in to smell the aroma, and something happened that we never expected.

"ROSE!" Alice and I yelled at the same time.

Oh no. I left a cliffy didn't I? Don't worry! My second chapter is already in production! I hope you guys liked it. It was very random, like me. I loved it and I hope you will too. Please review, it makes me very happy and I appreciate every single one. Review!

LexiCullen♥