Disclaimer: I live with my parents.
Dedication: For my darling wonderful friend Ria. Weeks ago I promised you a Zemyx, but I haven't been able to summon up the right muse. I hope you will forgive me. With In front of where you're looking I wanted to tap into the beautiful aspects of unrequited love and the belief that One True Love exists, but the ideas aren't fully formed in my head. I'll have to call you later and ask what you want to read. I think it would be easier that way. For now, though, I present you with this.
Prologue: An Offer He Couldn't Refuse
My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse... Luca Brasi held a gun to the bandleader's head, and my father assured him that either his signature or his brains would be on the release.
- Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, The Godfather, 1972
Maybe if Gokudera wished hard enough, it would disappear. It wasn't that he wasn't pleased. Being invited to the recruitment dinner was an honor. And there was his name in gold lettering, under the gold leaf and clam crest of Kappa Eta Rho: Gokudera Hayato. Being a member of the fraternity would look good on his college record. He would be transformed into a respectable member of society, and make important connections with powerful alumni that would help him find a good career after graduation. It was an honor. So why did the smallest twitch of distaste flicker over his gaze, fixed on the three Greek letters?
Gokudera despised being in submissive positions. As a new recruit to the fraternity, he would probably be overpowered by the older, higher-ranked brothers. He didn't like being told what to do, especially by those who were older, yet stupider, than him. Of course, he was in college now. He should really learn to put that below him. Besides, it was too great a privilege to turn down. He took the cigarette that dangled from the corner of his mouth and crushed it dead, exhaling smoke. This habit, too, would have to go if he was going to enter the distinguished order of Kappa Eta Rho.
Taking a pen, he quickly jotted down a hasty reply: thank you for thinking of me, I am so honored, looking forward to the dinner, etc., etc. and sent it back in the sky blue envelope provided.
He was in his second year of college after taking a year off to return to Europe. The house where he had been born waited for him, and he was able to spend a few quiet months there, letting his fingers become reacquainted with the piano he played as a boy. He started college there, but found the European system dull. The weather was often bleak as well, and he found himself returning to Japan in his dreams. So off he went. If his father was disappointed, he gave no sign, and Gokudera honestly didn't care. He'd lost any compassion he'd ever held for the man shortly after his mother died.
Namimori University was everything he hoped for. His classes were structured and interesting, and he enjoyed the general sunnyness of the campus, delighting at the sakura blossoms.
And now, this. The greatest honor that could be bestowed on any college student. Especially since Gokudera should have been ineligible, being a transfer student and in his second year. Another reason he couldn't refuse. Still, as he went to bed that night, the gold leaf and clam crest on the card propped up on his desk stirred something in him. Kappa Eta Rho wasn't what it seemed, perhaps.
"Congratulations, little brother," purred the voice on the other end of the line the next morning.
"What time is it in Paris, Bianchi?" he hissed, pulling back the blankets and staring at his own alarm clock. 5 am.
"It's evening, of course. I meant to call you sooner, but thought you might be sleeping."
He imagined her large mouth curving into a thin, amused smile, pale brown lavender hair framing her face as she fiddled with the phone cord.
"I was sleeping!" he snapped.
"Really?" she asked vaguely. "I'm sorry to wake you, then. But I wanted to congratulate you on your fraternity invitation."
Gokudera groaned and put his legs over the edge of the bed, his feet touching the cold, tin carpet of his dorm room floor.
"You must be very excited. It's such an honor!" his sister continued, knowing full well she was preventing him from getting back to sleep and that now he would be forced to down some hot, disgusting coffee and step out into the blinding sunlight at least an hour before he usually would.
"Yeah, whatever. I'll talk to you later, big sis. I've got to go to the library and print out my chemistry paper…"
Finally, he was able to hang up on her, and was left somewhat confused by her parting words: "If you're lucky enough to meet Mr. R, please remember me to him!"
The invitation was still propped up on his desk, and as Gokudera dressed he glared at it. Kappa Eta Rho was one of the first fraternities established in a Japanese University. Over the past ten years it had spawned more than a handful of alumni who were now very well-known, in respectable, good-paying careers. Several of them were in government, others established themselves as CEOs of important corporations, and still others boasted amazing sports records. The alumni and current members fondly referred to it as the "illustrious order of the clam" for the symbol on the crest, horseshoed by a gold laurel wreath. Many on campus stared with mixed envy and longing at the gold emblem pins with their coarse sky blue silk ribbons attached.
Gokudera was determined to be one of those privileged, but the old rebelliousness still itched. Part of tradition demanded that each new recruit be assigned a "big brother" to shadow for the initial "rush week" and trial month. He'd cast annoyed glances at these brothers, constantly introducing their charges to important people, assigning them special community service and requiring a certain amount of slave labor in return for a recommendation to the "illustrious order of the clam".
As he walked to the library his fingers itched to hold a cigarette, but he'd purposely forgotten the carton in his room.
"Che," he muttered. With the itch in his fingers he was barely able to enjoy the sakura trees.
When he had printed out his essay, he spotted Yamamoto, an overly friendly baseball star and fanatic, waiting in line to check out some books. Instinct immediately told him to run, but the tall, dark haired young man had already seen him. Waving like a tourist on a departing cruise ship, he excused himself from the line and headed over, spreading his arms in a "V" shape and smiling.
"Greetings, fellow clam brother!"
Gokudera blanched. Of course. The only way you were even considered for the "illustrious order of the clam" was through GPA and a recommendation from a current member. Yamamoto had been initiated last semester, and lately he'd been making more f an effort to involve Gokudera in sports and on-campus activities. He had been the one to recommend him, it was only too obvious. He couldn't imagine how terrible it would be if this idiot turned out to be his big brother.
"Yamamoto," he said by way of greeting, lack of enthusiasm evident to anyone but the one it was directed at.
"I can't wait for the recruitment dinner!" Yamamoto went on without preamble. "You'll like everyone. They're so nice, especially Sawada. It's such an honor, Gokudera-kun, to be invited into such a noble history! You'll learn all about it at the dinner, though, don't let me spoil it for you." He slapped Gokudera hard on the shoulder and smiled even wider still before reclaiming his place in line.
Eye twitching, Gokudea headed for class, dreading the dinner as much as he was looking forward to it. He couldn't recall ever being this anxious about something since the day he was summoned to his father's study alone the week after his mother died. But it was a different feeling altogether, maybe because he was no longer a child and he was more acquainted with fear now than he was then. This was not fear. This was… something he couldn't place. But he knew, when he returned to his dorm that night, that the invitation would still be there, beckoning and promising great things.
- The Writer