Just a little thing I had to write. This is my take on why Remy went back to the X-men. Review. Oh and this is a one shot. But I am working on other stories. Oh, and Hit me with your best shot is done for now. I have writers block on that one. So enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own X-men or the song What might have been. I ain't makin any money so don't sue!!!!!
What might have been
What was she doing here? She was crazy, that's what she was. Rogue shook her head and debated on whether or not she should turn around and leave. What had she expected to find by going back to Louisiana? Did she think she could really fly to New Orleans, find that Jazz club they'd eaten at, and he'd be sitting in the same spot he had when they came together. It'd been a year since that little incident. What made her think he was even still in New Orleans?
She shook her head as she turned to leave the restaurant. Her stomach growled half way to the door so, sighing, she turned back around. The waitress came up to her and asked how many. "One" she mumbled. She'd been one for a while now.
"Right this way" the waitress almost sang. Rogue ignored the urge to knock her lights out. Why was she so upset anyway? It wasn't like she'd expected him to be here, right? He'd taken off with his father, and who knew where they lived? Besides, she hadn't really wanted to see him, had she? What would she say to him? She sighed as she followed the waitress. Nothing. She wouldn't say a thing.
Her gray eyes searched every face that she passed, trying to find one that looked familiar. Who was she looking for? Julian maybe? Wasn't that the man's name? But why did she want to find him? She sighed. Because where Julian was, the Thieves Guild wasn't far behind. And if the Thieves Guild wasn't far, Remy would be there.
The waitress set her menu on the table in front of Rogue and then walked away. Rogue gawked. That was the table she and Remy had sat at. Taking a deep breath she settled into the chair she'd sat in, and half expected to look up and see Remy sit down in the seat he had. She even glanced up. But he wasn't standing there. Sighing she glanced down at her menu.
Why she was even looking at it she didn't know. She was going to get the jambalaya of course. That's what he had ordered. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. This was going way beyond stalking. But then again, he wasn't here, so she wasn't stalking him. Right? She sighed. The waitress came back and Rogue focused on her instead of where she was.
"I'd like the Jambalaya, please" she informed the waitress. "With a coke, if ya don't mind."
The waitress jotted it all down and was about to turn to leave when a deep Cajun voice said, "Make dat two."
Rogue's heart skipped a beat. She turned her head to see none other than Remy LeBeau standing beside the waitress. Her eyes widened as he nodded toward the waitress who giggled and then walked away. He hadn't changed one bit. His hair was still a shaggy mop on the top of his head, his goatee was still the only facial hair he had, and his red on black eyes were still hypnotizing. He was still as muscular as he was before, although this time he was wearing a baggy white shirt with dark brown baggy cargo pants. He looked odd in normal clothing. His famous duster was tied by the sleeves over one shoulder, so that it hung much like a messenger bag would. He nodded at Rogue and indicated the only seat not taken.
"Mind if I join ya, chere?"
Her heart sped up to a million miles a minute. She nodded, not even realizing she was doing it. He sat down and leaned back, getting comfortable almost immediately. Not an inch of him was nervous, as if he had expected her to be here. She shook her head. Why was this so shocking to her? He lived here didn't he? And it was obviously a favorite restaurant of his. So why was her heart still racing. She cleared her throat and waited for the waitress to bring their drinks.
He broke the silence first. "How ya been, chere?" She looked up at him for a minute, trying to find something to say that made since.
"Fine" she finally stated, and then shook her head at how simple that sentence was, and how impersonal. "And you?"
"Bon." He replied nonchalantly. "Been workin wit de family." He explained. She nodded.
"Yea. I kinda figured. I'm still with the X-men." He nodded.
Another long moment of silence passed in which the waiter brought their drinks and then disappeared again. Remy sipped his, but Rogue could barely touch it. Her stomach was in knots. He sat back again and raised his eyebrows.
"So what brings you to de bayou, chere?"
She looked away. How the heck could she tell him? She couldn't. That's the whole point. All the money she spent coming here and she already knew she couldn't tell him why. What the heck was wrong with her?
"Do ya ever think about the last time we came here?" she asked quietly, surveying the room. Remy looked up at her as if startled. He shook his head as if to clear it and then nodded.
"A lot." He admitted.
Sure I think about you know and then.
She smiled. "Me too." She admitted. "I keep expected Julian to show up."
He actually laughed at that and her heart fluttered. Great, she was falling for him again. His grin fell some and he took another sip of his drink.
"Dat was a long time ago, non?" he asked, almost with a chuckle.
But it's been a long long time.
She nodded. "Yea, it has." They fell back into silence before Remy looked up with a confused look in his eyes.
"Do…" he started and then stopped, as if unsure of how to ask.
"How are you?" he asked again. Rogue laughed.
"Fine. I found a job in the city. I work with orphans…mutant kids that can't control their powers."
"Kids?" he asked, unbelieving. She nodded.
"The professor says the X gene is reacting quicker. Kids' powers are manifesting at earlier ages. I have a four year old in my class that can throw books at me and get cookies out of my locked cookie jar at the same time."
Gambit laughed at that.
I've got a good life now, well I'd moved on.
"So den, why come here?"
She looked away.
So when you cross my mind
"I…had a break." She explained. "I guess I had a cravin for some southern hospitality and good Cajun food. So here I am." She lied.
He nodded. She couldn't tell him the truth. That she thought about him all the time, even though she tried not to. It was as if her mind had locked his memory down tight so that not even she or the professor could get rid of it. For an entire year she'd been playing what if scenarios in her mind, like what if he had come back with her? She'd been trying for that whole year to not think about him.
I try not to think about what might have been.
She smiled when their food arrived and for the most part they ate in silence. She could hardly believe it had been a year since they had sat at the same table, eating this same meal. She shook the thoughts out of her head and reminded herself that she had no room for a man in her life, and he probably didn't need a woman in his. They were too completely different people now. What made her think things hadn't changed with him when they'd changed with her?
Cause that was then and we have taken different roads.
But still, something in her wished Julian would walk around the corner and they would go off after his father again. Maybe this time she'd chose to stay with him, or begged him to come with her. But that was the past.
We can't go back again.
She sighed as she continued eating. There was no point in wishing for the past when she couldn't have it. They'd both moved on. Why hold on to something that wasn't even there in the beginning.
There's no use given in.
Besides, it wasn't like he loved her then, or she loved him. They had just been friends. But then, why had she been wondering how thing would have changed if they had stayed together. She shook her head. She'd never know at this rate.
We'll never know, what might have been.
"So…" she started after they had both finished. The waitress hadn't come back yet so they couldn't order desert.
"So…" he repeated.
"Why'd ya leave?" she finally asked. He raised an eyebrow and then sighed.
"I told you, chere. Dere was some unfinished business I had to take care of back at de Guild."
Rogue nodded. "Just askin." She mumbled and glanced at the desert menu again.
We can sit and talk about this all night long.
"Why didn't you stay?" he finally asked. She was caught off guard by that and glanced up at him, confused.
"I…my home is with the X-men. You know that." She mumbled back. He only nodded.
"Oui, I figured." He stated.
And wonder why we didn't last.
"Ya never apologized." She stated and he raised his eyebrows.
"For leavin?"
"For kidnapping me."
He outright laughed at that and shook his head. "Non, Remy not gona apologize for dat, chere. We both needed it. And ya know it. Sides, we had a ball, non?"
Rogue smiled. Yea, they had had a ball. The entire trip had been imprinted into the back of her mind since then. She almost wished she could forget it. But she couldn't. She sighed.
Yes they might be the best days we will ever know.
"But dat's in de past, chere" he almost whispered. Rogue looked away.
But we'll have to leave them in the past.
The waitress came back and Remy ordered some kind of chocolate overload desert, with two spoons. Rogue shrugged. Let the man do whatever he wanted. He looked around and then leaned back, his eyes watching the archway that lead to the poolroom. What would have changed if he had come back with her? Would they have been sitting here, having this meal? Or would they be in New York still? What if she had stayed? How often would they come to this little hole in the wall restaurant that they were both so obviously fond of?
So try not to think about what might have been.
She shook her head.
"Hard isn't it?" he asked. She looked up and realized he was still staring at the archway.
"What?" he glanced at her.
"Don know why, but I keep thinkin Julian's gona walk through that arch again."
She glanced at the arch and smiled. "Yea, I know." She mumbled. He shrugged and turned to look back at his drink.
"Course, he ain't. That's in the past now, right, chere?"
She nodded.
Cause that was then, and we have taken different roads.
"I almost miss it," he continued. She raised an eyebrow. "Ya know, workin for ol' bucket head."
She laughed. "You miss magneto?" she accused and he shook his head.
"Non, I miss de team. I miss all de action." He shrugged. "Guess I'll never had dat again. De Thieves Guild and de Rippers are kinda quiet lately. Makes a t'ief jumpy."
She laughed.
"Sides, ain't no team t' go back to." He admitted. She looked away.
We can't go back again.
"There's always the X-men." He outright laughed at that and she looked away.
"You really see Gambit in one o' dem tight black outfits, chere? Non, I don tink so."
There's no use given in.
She sighed. She'd tried hadn't she? She took a sip of her drink and then dived into the desert when it arrived. She glanced up at him. He wasn't going to be an X-man, that's for sure. She looked away. That meant they probably wouldn't see each other after this. She sighed.
And there's no way to know, what might have been.
Surprisingly, Remy paid for their meal and then together they walked out of the dinner. As soon as they hit the concrete Remy pulled out a cigarette and lit up. Rogue looked away into the almost empty streets of New Orleans. A tour bus passed by here and there but for the most part, or compared to Marti Graz at least, the city was empty. She glanced back at Remy to see he was staring at her, with those piercing red on black eyes that seemed to read her like a book. His eyes sparkled, like the first time they had met, and sent chills down Rogue's spine.
Same old look in your eyes.
"Nice night, non?" he asked and she looked up. Yea, it was. "You can't see de stars in New York. Not like ya can here." He was staring at Rogue, not the stars. She looked down.
It's a beautiful night.
"I'd better get back ta my hotel. My plane's leavin in a few hours."
He looked down. "Class?" he asked and she nodded.
Tell me to stay, she begged. Ask me to stay.
He smiled and took another drag on his cigarette. He wasn't going to ask her. But even so she was still debating on whether or not she really wanted to leave again.
I'm so tempted to stay.
She looked away. That had been a long time ago. He probably had another girlfriend by now. One that would do him a lot better than she ever would. Besides, as she said before, her life was with the X-men. She didn't want love, never had. She'd only come down here because…because…because she'd been having dreams about him. She sighed. That was the whole reason. She'd been having dreams of him dying, and had came just to make sure he was still alive. But here he was, no harm done, and now it was time for her to return to her orphans and him to whoever it was he had now.
But to much time has gone by.
"Guess this is goodbye" she mumbled and smiled up at him.
"Oui." He nodded, not smiling back. That was it? No see you soon, no I missed you, no goodbye, just yea? She huffed.
"Well, bye."
We should just say goodbye.
He nodded at her and looked away. She huffed and turned slowly away from him, pulling her purse up higher on her shoulder and then forced herself to take the first couple of steps that lead away from him.
And turn and walk away.
What had she expected? That he would run to her, sweep her into his arms, and beg her to stay with him, or beg her to let him come home with her? Why, she didn't even love him. She barely even knew the man! She rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arms around herself. No point now. All she had to do now was try to forget him.
And try not to think about what might have been.
"Leave the past behind" she mumbled to herself.
Cause that was then.
"He's got his guild, I've got my kids." She informed herself. "We couldn't have worked out."
And we have taken different roads.
"Sure, I had fun, but it's not like he's gona show up and kidnap me again."
We can't go back again.
"So now what, Rogue?" she asked herself. "Now I go home." She sighed.
There's no use given in.
She turned down the road to her hotel and took a deep breath. "So long" she whispered to the city as she stepped up onto the steps of her hotel. She opened the door and closed it behind her. She was wrong. They weren't gona be together. She'd just have to shove those thought out of her head.
There's no way to know, what might have been.
She opened the door to her room and laid her purse on the counter. It toppled over, sending all of it's contents to the floor. She almost cursed. Slowly she bent down and began picking up her things. That's when she saw it. It was a playing card. Her heart raced as she picked it up. The Jack of Hearts. To match her Queen of hearts. She flipped it over and in a black marker were the words, You still have mon heart, chere. She almost cried. The Jack's heart. She was the Queen and he was the Jack. She slowly stood up and cradled the card in her hands. Taking a deep breath she slipped it into her pocket and grabbed her suitcases. One last look around the room and she was hailing a taxi and heading to the airport. Her pocket burned with the card though, and she searched the streets as she passed.
He was standing where she'd left him, and when he noticed the taxi his gaze turned to follow it. He half waved at her and then turned away, leaving her to watch his back as he walked out of view.
No we'll never know.
She closed her eyes and focused on the road in front of her. Only three more hours and she'd be home. But nevertheless, she couldn't help wondering…
…What might have been.
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Remy rounded the corner and stopped. She'd come to see him. He knew that much. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Just seeing her again had sent fire erupting in him. A fire that he doubted was gona die out until he saw her again. Besides, he needed to see her again. He'd been thinking about her a lot lately. And dreaming about her. Her words rang clear in his head. There's the X-men.
He'd wanted adventure again hadn't he? Who else had adventure if not the X-men. Fighting all the time, saving people. It'd be a rush of adrenaline for him. And he might even get to kick Logan's ass. He grinned at that thought.
"And den' dere's de chere." He whispered. She was there, and that made the idea worth while. He stopped at a payphone and dialed a number he had memorized.
"Henry, oui it's Remy. Do moi a favor, mon ami, bring mon t'ings to de airport. Der's only one airport Henry! Oui…I'm goin back to New York."
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