"Fuck…" Ikkaku hissed between clenched teeth.

"Oh God, Ikkaku… ahhhn--"

"What'cha guys doooing?"

Both the 3rd and 5th seat of the 11th squad looked up from their compromising position on the floor to see their vice captain hovering over them with a puzzled look on her young face.

"Yachiru-Fukutaichou!" They did not simultaneously squeal in a decidedly pathetic manner.

"Why are you all naked and sweaty?… If you're hot you should just kick the blankets off!" She said with a smile as she moved to pull their comforter away.

"No!" Yumichika quickly pulled the blanket up and around his own body, leaving Ikkaku exposed. It was every man for himself when dealing with the little pink-haired hellion.

"What the fuck!" Ikkaku shouted trying to get some of the cover from Yumichika, "give it back!"

"Forget it! It's my blanket anyway!"

"Share!"

"No! Let go!"

In their tug-of-war for decency they managed to rip the poor comforter in two, sending up a flurry of white down that swirled about the room like snow. Ikkaku gathered some of the feathers to cover his lap while Yumichika lamented the death of the very expensive bed spread he'd brought back from the living world on his last visit there. He glared at Ikkaku: "I will kill you."

At first their antics were amusing but Yachiru quickly grew tired of being ignored.

"HEY!" They both turned to look at her, silent and obedient just like she liked. She smiled, that's better. "Now I want an answer, what were you guys doing, Baldy?"

The two shared a nervous look before Ikkaku began to speak. "Well, you see Fukutaichou, sometimes when a guy gets a… Uh, special feeling in his coc- uh, groin… he, uh…"

Quickly Yumichika relieved Ikkaku of speech by clamping a hand over the bald-man's mouth. "What he means to say is that we were playing a game."

"A game?"

"Yeah, Yumichika," Ikkaku questioned sarcastically as he pulled the hand away from his face. "A game?"

"Yes," he said with a smile, internally congratulating himself for having just thought up an excellent lie. "We were playing Greek warriors. In ancient Greece it was a custom to wrestle in the nude. We were wrestling, that's all Fukutaichou-chan."

"Oh, okay!" She replied with a smile, satisfied with the answer. "So you were winning narci-san?"

"No!" Ikkaku quickly interjected. "He was most definitely not winning!"

"But he was on top!"

"That doesn't mean anything! I'm the winner!"

"Ikkaku," Yumichika muttered with irritation as he elbowed his dense friend in the ribs. "Remember, we were playing Greek not Kama Sutra."

"Jeez… fine, Yumichika was winning. But I was letting him win."

Getting more and more intrigued by the idea of wresting Yachiru began to untie her robe. "I wanna play too!"

"NO!"

"Why not?!" A glare. No one but Ken-chan was allowed to tell her no (and even he rarely said it).

"Well," Yumichika laughed nervously. "Don't you think Taichou would like to play? Ikkaku and I are all worn out so we wouldn't be any match for you. You should go play with Taichou!"

"Yeah!" Ikkaku nodded vigorously, anything to get the girl out of there as quickly as possible. "He'd love to play."

"Okay!" And with that she was gone in a little pink flash. Needless to say, Zaraki was extremely confused and even more disturbed when he was awoken by being put in a half nelson by a very naked Yachiru.