Rating: T, I think, for some suggestive humor.
Characters: Brennan, Booth
Story Notes: I was feeling silly, and let's face it, sex can be pretty silly. Plus I wanted to try writing something that was 100 percent dialog.
This is set sometime in the future.
Spoilers: Small reference to Mummy in the Maze.
Summary: Brennan has a special request for Booth.
"There's no way I'm putting that on."
"But why not? I wore my Wonder Woman costume for you last week, and it most definitely wasn't Halloween."
"Yeah, but you looked great in it. Me? I'd look ridiculous."
"Dressed as Wonder Woman, yes. Wearing the thong I picked out especially for you, no. Your buttocks are exceptionally well-formed."
"I am not hearing this. You did not just say 'buttocks.' Any minute now, I'll wake up. Somebody pinch me. Yow! What the hell was that for?"
"You asked me to pinch you."
"No, I said, 'Somebody pinch me.' Not, 'Bones, pinch me.'"
"Oh, all right. Then I apologize for pinching your exceptionally well-formed buttocks, Booth."
"Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Did you hear me? No. Way. In. Hell. Not if you paid me a million bucks. Oh. Mmmmm... Hey, why'd you stop?"
"Quid pro quo, Booth. You give me what I want; I'll give you what you want."
"You're a hard woman, Temperance Brennan."
"Actually, it appears that you, Seeley Booth, are a hard man."
"No thanks to you. Ok, fine. Hand it over. Ten minutes. That's all you get. And if you tell Angela about this, so help me God—"
"I don't volunteer information about our intimate activities."
"You may not volunteer it, but I bet Angela knows how to get it out of you. Sometimes I think she should work for the Bureau."
"Well, actually, when we had brunch last weekend, she asked if we—"
"Lalalala. Iamnotlisteningtothis."
"Your diversionary tactics will not work with me. Here. Please put it on. I think you'll find it's more comfortable than you think."
"Oh my god. It's leopard print."
"What's wrong with that? I thought the animal print would complement your coloring."
"I think I'm about to have a heart attack."
"Please wait until you've modeled the thong."
"Ouch. Jesus. That doesn't feel right. How do people wear these things, anyway?"
"With practice it will feel more natural."
"With practice? There isn't going to be any practice. This is a one time only offer."
"Come closer."
"Bossy woman. The things I do for you..."
"Turn around so I can look at you."
"I am so going to regret this."
"Very, very nice. I knew it would flatter your form and coloring."
"Just so you know, I am more than a piece of meat. I have brains, skills...Now, how about that quid pro quo?"
"Come lie down here. Bend your leg."
"I am not made out of Playdough, woman."
"What is Playdough?"
"For the love of...Never mind."
"Looking at you is exciting me."
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
"Good. Ow, stop! My leg is cramping."
"Have you been doing those flexibility exercises I recommended?"
"No."
"Then stop complaining."
"Maybe this just isn't going to happen right now."
"Perhaps. But I intend to enjoy this moment regardless. It's not often that I convince you to wear a thong."
"It ain't happening ever again, so enjoy it while you can. Hey, Grabby, come here and lie still. I think I need a nap."
"Booth..."
"What?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now shut up and let me kiss you."
"All right. I suppose you've earned it."