Okay, as you've noticed I haven't updated this in a year. Yes, a year. I feel bad because it's one of those stories I enjoyed spending large amounts of time on and had so many plans for but my creativity was put on hold for my senior year in high school and then my first year of college. It is now Summer of my Sophomore year of college and every day I look at this story but I do not have the heart to say I will stop writing it. I WANT to finish it. Just like I wanted to finish that Christmas story and behold, there it remains- unfinished. So for now I am going to post what it is I have completed and make it chapter J. It is short but it's still something and after posting this I will rethink what I plan on doing from here.

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Time was little more then a reliable companion ticking away on the opposite wall as Light lay sprawled across the bed, eyes set in a far off place, clothing disheveled and wrist burning from the pain of the metal chain stretched tight across the length of the room. Ryuuzaki was still in his opposite universe and the teen could only imagine the stars and constellations he was creating in his rage geared toward him. It was a reoccurring episode he was sick of watching- why couldn't they just get along? The last few weeks seemed like dreams compared to now. The kissing and touching had been playful and childish, a type of outlet for the affection starved detective and Lights hormones. But now it was suddenly over and all because their game had suddenly turned serious.

A new player had stepped in- this Beyond character had ruined everything and Light and his twisted dreams had only helped.

Lights heart skipped a beat at the erotic memory, the pictures already fading from his mind. If he laid still the blood in his veins wouldn't boil… he could forget…

What would his father think of all of this?

The door creaked open and he tensed from his spot on the bed, listening to the sickening noise of the fairly new hinges on the doorframe. The way they squeaked suggested a slow entry and he waited for the others voice to follow. Maybe if he didn't move he would simply ask him to head out downstairs for the day. But he knew with L things would never be that simple.

He decided to address the problem directly.

"Ryuuzaki, hold o-" the words were blocked by a pale hand and his eyes widened, feeling a weight bare down against his waist. His first reaction was to sit up but his hand remained stuck, looking up into the ice rigid black eyes of the other. His expression was unreadable- blank and sinister in a way Light couldn't quite place. Either way he braced himself mentally for what he might pull but as soon as the fingers moved away and gave his mouth the right of speech, he was rendered silent again by the pressure of the mans lips.

Ryuuzaki felt his body stiffen and he smiled inwardly at his own predictability.

This was too easy…

But as bitter as it made him feel, L couldn't credit just himself.

In actuality Ryuuzaki had never bothered to learn such useless tactics as seduction. Unluckily for him, this had been his undoing in the past and he suffered greatly from his lack of knowledge. But in the process he learned and in learning, he enherited tactics so shameful he promised himself he would bury them beneath much more important information and only bring them out in case of an emergency. Ryuuzaki solved his cases with tact; he fought dirty but kept his pride. And each move of his tongue, pinch of his fingers, and brush of his skin reminded him of his teaching and he felt himself start to slip.

Light let him- But not for his own selfish reasons.

Lips numb, Light flipped the other over, clothes disheveled and hair messy. The fact that their jeans were still on was a miracle on its own and he worked at L's belt, noticing his body freeze momentarily and he caught his eye.

A tremor moved beneath the black gems- small but noticeable to the skilled eye.

Light's eyes narrowed.

"What?" L breathed, his tone lighter than usual. "I don't really think you want to talk Light-kun, you know what that leads too."

"Shut up," he ignored him, eyes settling back into a look as blank as the others and for a moment L attempted to grasp what he was trying to hide. He raised his head to get a better look but his quest for answers was interrupted as an unbearable warmth consumed him from below and his head fell back, mouth parting in a silent scream. Protests pressed against his tongue but he forced himself to swallow them in order to keep his plan from failing. No… he would not ruin this by being a coward. The haze clouding his eyes was nothing to be afraid of anymore.

Lights hand had been one thing- but his mouth, always throwing out words and insults meant to bring Ryuuzaki down to his level, a tool used to spark arguments, was finally doing him a favor. His tongue was magic against an area he took to neglecting out of stubbornness and he found his hips rising up to greet him shamefully, afraid to see that mocking look in the others eyes staring up at him.

If he pulled away… if he pulled away he would kick him. He would make him finish.

The rhythm they were building halted for a moment and L sensed he was going to stop for conversation, moving his hand down to grasp at the boys hair to hold him in place. Lights eyes flicked up momentarily in annoyance but he continued his work, taking him in until he occupied most of the space in the back of mouth, his taste sweet in a lightly bitter sort of way. He didn't want to offer him any compliments, perform any tricks. He simply worked up and down, sucking and licking each area which appeared uncared for, tongue sore with the effort. Only when the hand in his hair tightened did he allow his mouth to rest, and braced himself as the detectives hips rocked up and slammed into the softness of his tongue. L lost himself in the fresh pleasure and forgot about his usual implied silence, gasping lightly as he felt the spring in his stomach build higher and higher. A name… he needed a name…

A forced act of caring- a sadistic mind, kisses violent and laced with the poison he wished to cram into his veins and watch struggle beneath him until he died with the effort.

Him… he was the only one. He had made him like this, twisted him into this horrible thing… or… maybe…

They were both foolish. The brush of their bodies when fabric failed to conceal was their high and each one enjoyed drowning in the hypocrisy of it all. It was so wrong and right at the same time; the simple feel of each other in their arms sparked a comfortable warmth neither of them could describe- and for this, they would perish.

His true intentions were forgotten. The overwhelming burning of his heart erased the reason behind his little charade and he slipped completely, stomach tightening as the light scorched the black tint of his eyes.

And he screamed his name to the stars, watching them blink out one by one as he shuddered and fell back down to earth slowly.

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"Ryuuzaki."

The sun had already begun to sink below the horizon, giving the room a bronzed orange tint, falling across the bed until the heat tickled the detective's fingers. He was awake… he had never fallen asleep. Not even the glass breaking effects of an orgasm could put him away so easily. Pants still undone, he turned toward the other but he had already gotten up from the bed, clothes reajusted and eyes set blankly on the dark side of the room. He ignored the fact that L was still clearly exposed after their little act but the detective paid little attention to his own position. He was staring at the pillow and blanket in the boy's hands as if it were a suitcase.

Automatically L's hand began to fasten the zipper of his pants but he did it clumsily, looking up at Light's face. The truth was there- he was killing him with it's glow. "Light-kun, I-"

"I'm sleeping on the floor tonight, you can have the bed." He announced, sitting down cross-legged on the carpet near the side of the bed, positioning his pillow. His voice held no emotion, a perfect mirror of L. It was L himself who found his hand squeezing the fabric of his shirt as if it were choking him, looking down at the other in silence.

Light had seen his true intentions. From the moment L slipped to the moment he hit rock bottom, offering no hand to help him back up.

"Light…"

"Don't." he grabbed the blanket, preparing to throw it over himself before he turned and looked up at the other, eyes layered with specks of hurt and hate. "I'm sorry I wasn't as selfish as you thought I was."

L offered him no response. The last slivers of light sank away from the room as the other covered himself, leaving L alone in the dark, feet curling up beneath him. His insides twisted with emotions he wished to expel and let his body fall against the coverless mattress, preparing himself mentally to unravel them throughout the night.

Yes… he had doubted Light's selfishness.

And for the second time L tasted the bitter sting of defeat.

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