Yay a ShikaTema fanfic. It also has a bit of SasuNaru, but please don't puke when you don't like the pairing. Just ignore it and go on with your pleasantly normal life, I hope.
Disclaimer: Like I said before, I do not own Naruto. If I did, I will be a rich bastard.
Warning: A tad OOC I guess...
Nara Shikamaru, everyone's favourite lazy ninja in Konoha, probably everywhere, is annoyed.
Annoyed of the fact that, he's missing his regular cloud-gazing schedule. Just because of that pineapple-headed girl from Suna. Well, he shouldn't be talking about the pineapple-head part. What he means is that, the clouds are so puffy and white, just enough to cover the hot sun. He sighed as he dragged his feet on the ground as he headed over to the Hokage Tower to meet up with the scarier-than-his-own-mother girl from Suna.
He was led to a meeting room. He went inside and his eyes widened at the sight. That 'troublesome woman' is... is... wearing a French maid's costume!!!!
He breathed deeply, trying to stop the blood from rushing on his head. He thought about his turn-offs, and sighed.
"I'm here..." he muttered.
"Konnichiwa, Shikamaru-kun." she said, blushing a tiny bit. Of course, the ever-so smart chuunin noticed.
"Konnichiwa, Temari-san." he replied, grinning.
Tsunade smiled at the two's formality. Usually, when Shikamaru was asked to guide Temari, he'll whine and swear so much, but it seems that today, he's actually fine with it.
"Nara, you are to guide the Kazekage's daughter, around Konoha. You've done it more than ten times, I'm sure you can do it. I think she went here for a particular reason. She'll tell you on the way."
Shikamaru just nodded lazily as he led the Temari with the maid's costume out of the Hokage Tower.
"So..." Shikamaru drawled off. "Why are you wearing a maid's costume?" he asked, almost lazily, as though uninterested though he could die out of curiousity.
She blushed. "You know that pink-headed girl?"
"Sakura? Sure... But what about her?"
"She challenged me... She works in a maid cafe, and she challenged me on who can gain more moe points... Me or her."
'Definitely you...' Shikamaru thought. "Why accept the challenge though?" he asked aloud.
"Are you crazy?! A Kazekage's daughter never, and I mean never turns down a challenge." she exclaimed.
They reached the maid cafe. The five genin teams were there: 7, 8, Team Guy, 10 and the two other Sand Siblings.
Shikamaru lifte a brow. "What's with all the people?" he asked. He led Temari inside and sat down beside Choji.
"Shika!! Why are you rooting for the person who you claimed to be scarier than your own mother?" Ino asked just as Choji stuffed his face with the snacks that were on the table. Shikamaru glanced at Temari, an almost blusing pile of mush when the customers stared at her. Gaara and Kankurou shot those death glares that'll make you want to go home to your mother and cry in the corner of your room.
"Well, I'm not voting for someone just because you told me to." he replied. Ino sighed in defeat.
"Don't you want Sakura-chan to win?"
"What the hell will the winner get if she wins, anyways?" he asked.
"Bragging rights!" Ino exclaimed. "And seventeen thousand yen but who cares?" (approximately 150 USD)
Shikamaru sighed as he patted Choji on the back because he choked on a peanut.
"Mou... Choji! Eat in a normal pace like a normal person!" Ino nagged. Choji just shrugged.
"I'm not really a fast eater. It's just normal people are slow." he said, wolfing down another bag of chips.
Sakura in a red french maid outfit appeared in front. Ino gave her a thumbs-up sign and she nodded her thanks.
"Thanks for coming." she exclaimed. "The match is between me, Haruno Sakura and Sabaku no Temari from Suna."
Everyone applauded.
"You go, Sakura-chan!!!!" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke just sighed.
"Be quiet dobe, or you'll be punished tonight." He said. Naruto sat still in the seat as Sasuke smirked his triumph. (A/N: Yes, they're in a relationship... Sorry, can't help it.)
"We'll be performing service." Sakura explained. "There is a board out back to tally the moe points. We counted the customers so no one could cheat. We closed the store for just for this event so there's no worry of anyone coming in."
Shikamaru lifted a brow. 'Girls have to vote too?'
"Shall we start?"
"YEAH!!!!!" The male customers practically screamed. Sakura giggled in a not-moe-at-all-for-Shikamaru sort of way. Sakura was immediately scratched out of his list even before they started, not that he's rooting for that Suna woman or anything.
Sakura went first, and used a flirty way to get customers. She undid the top two buttons and began to serve tea and refreshments, pretending it was hot. Well, it is but Shikamaru shook his head. It's slutty, if you ask him.
"Would you like some lemon on your tea, sir?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes. Shikamaru almost threw up. If its one thing he hates about women is that; asking for it desperately.
Then, Temari's turn. She gulped and blushed when she caught Shikamaru staring. Shikamaru smirked at this. Where was the violent, troublesome Suna woman that he met five years ago?
She then went over to a customer who seemed to have his mind set on Sakura.
"A-anou... Sir...? I-I'm new at t-this so... If y-you would tell me w-what you would w-want..." she stuttered cutely, enough to make Shikamaru blush and Hinata to be put to shame.
That certain customer's eyes lit up and immediately ordered and so did his friends.
Shikamaru frowned. 'The hell with them? They really don't care about her don't they? It's all about the element of turning people on now, is it?' he thought angrily.
Temari walked over to Team 10's table. She fidgeted for a bit.
"A-anou... Y-your o-order...?" she asked. Shikamaru clenched his fists until it turned white. 'Don't jump her... Don't jump her... Don't jump her... Don't jump her...' he chanted in his head.
"I... Uh... I would like mango bubble tea..." he muttered.
"Coffee bubble tea for me!" Choji exclaimed before swallowing the mouthful of chips that he had on his mouth.
"Black tea for me..." Ino said blankly.
She nodded and went to place the order but tripped. She stood up and blushed.
"S-sorry about that!!!!" she exclaimed. Lots of people smirked. Clumsiness is a moe factor, though if overdid, could be quite irritating.
Shikamaru stood up.
"Shika? Where are you going?" Ino asked.
He just waved his hand and went to the tally chart and saw, Sakura is losing terribly. He smirked as he added another tally to Temari.
"Oi Shika!" Naruto exclaimed. "You're not doing that just because she's your girlfriend, right?"
"She's not my girlfriend." he muttered. "And even Sasuke gave Temari a point." he said, pointing at the raven.
"Temee!!!! I told you, vote for Sakura-chan! She is your teammate after all!!!!" the blond dobe exclaimed.
"My moe, Naruto, aren't girls. You know that for one." he said smirking as Naruto blushed a dangerous red. "But Sabaku no Temari isn't like Sakura, doing a slutty approach on her... job."
Shikamaru grinned. "Nice one Uchiha."
Said Uchiha shrugged. "Well, if I was straight, Nara? You'll be having some competition." And he walked off, with the dobe still blushing. Shikamaru noticed a slight limp on the dobe that wasn't there before. (A/N: wink wink)
'What the hell did those two do?' he thought. He returned to his seat, just as Temari was about to give them their drinks.
"Here you go sir." she said, handing her his drink. She passed around the drinks to Ino and Choji, as Shikamaru slurped his. When he slurped harshly, he choked on a pearl. Temari rubbed his back gently until the pearl came out.
"Arigato." Shikamaru said, coughing. Temari smiled. He blinked. 'What the hell's happening?' he wondered. 'When did the background became warm and fuzzy? And where the hell did those light spheres came from?'
"Don't worry sir." she said. "Just doing my job." she smiled. Shikamaru blushed and just nodded,
"Oi, Choji. Have you voted yet?" Shikamaru asked, resting his head on the table.
Choji shook his head. "Why, Shika?"
"One point isn't enough for Temari..." he replied. Choji smirked.
"I'll use my point then." He replied. He stood up and went to the back. Shikamaru just slurped his bubble tea and stared at Temari.
"Oi, Nara Shikamaru." Kankurou said, tapping him roughly on the shoulder. "C'mere for a sec."
He followed the puppeteer and met up with Gaara.
"Who'd you vote for?" Kankurou asked.
"Dumb question you got there." He muttered. "Temari of course."
Gaara nodded. "It seems that Temari-nee-sama has taken a liking to the likes of you..." he said. "If you hurt her, you'd better watch out. I assume you like your head where it is?"
Shikamaru nodded without a doubt. 'Temari took a liking to me?' he thought. He smirked and went back to his seat.
"Okay everyone!" Sakura exclaimed. "We'll bring in the tally chart to see who lost. Let's be a sport if we lost." she said, smirking in triumph.
'Oh I don't think Temari will have to be a sport, Sakura.' Shikamaru thought. When the tally chart was brought in, he smirked.
"S-S-S-S-Sakura LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" her avid fanboys exclaimed. Sakura gasped. She swallowed audibly and sighed.
"C-congratulations on winning." she forced herself to say. The cafe's owner handed Temari her seventeen thousand yen.
Everyone congratulated Temari on winning. When everyone left, except for Shikamaru, of course, Temari walked over to him.
"Thanks for voting for me, crybaby. And for convincing your friend, too." she said, as she changed her clothes behind a divider.
He blushed. "Well... You certainly know my moe, don't you?" he asked. She giggled cutely, that Shikamaru bit his lip so hard that it bled. Temari went out in her usual outfit and placed her hands on his hips.
"It seems one point is enough for me ne, Shika-kun?" she asked. Said -kun bit his lip harder.
"Ne, Shika-kun..." Temari whispered. "Your lip is bleeding..."
He lifted his hand to wipe of the blood, but the Suna woman beat him to it. No, she didn't kiss him. That would be too predictable, ne?
She wiped it off like a normal person would, with a piece of tissue. Shikamaru blushed.
'Why, oh why am I blushing!!!!' he shouted inside his head. 'Fine, I'm like, totally attracted to her but why?'
"Dumb question, Shika-kun." she said, smirking. He blinked.
"I... What? What's a dumb question?" he asked, lost.
She grinned. "Why are you blushing, ne? You are totally attracted to me but why are you blushing?"
Shikamaru gulped. "D-did I just say that out loud?"
Temari nodded, making Shikamaru want to kill himself.
"Oh don't worry, Shika." she said. "I find you attractive too. Didn't my brothers told you that?"
He nodded. "Sure... But I never really thought that it was... Mmmph!"
Yes, Temari kissed him... Hard. So hard that his lip started bleeding again.
Shikamaru kissed back, of course. Common courtesy, he said.That's right, use excuses.
"That proof enough for you?" she asked cockily. He blushed, nodding.
"Y'know..." He started. "I voted for you because you were shy in the competition... But I never really thought that..." he paused. She stared at her, urging him to continue.
"I never realized that..." he smirked. "I love troublesome women... Especially the woman who goes by the name Sabaku no Temari, the Kazekage's daughter."
Temari blushed. "Shika, you sweet talker. Flattery won't get you anywhere."
He smirked. "Really?" he said, approaching her and cornering her to the wall.
She nodded. "You would have to go for it."
And they kiss, again. Longer this time.
"Ahh... Finally, Temari-nee-sama found love. I hope she'll stop nagging at us..." Kankurou muttered.
Gaara hmphed. "Just as long he takes care of her, I don't mind."
"Aww... Gaara! How sweet!!!" Kankurou exclaimed. Gaara, yes Gaara blushed.
"Y-you! S-stop that!!!" he exclaimed as Kankurou hugged him.
"Oi! You two!!!! Get back home!!!!" Temari shouted. Gaara and Kankurou's sweat dropped.
"She loves nagging, ne?" Shikamaru smirked.
The siblings sighed. "I hope you deal with her more than we do, now that you're going out..." Kankurou muttered.
"What?!"
The three males gulped. They saw Temari, her fan out and a vein on her forehead.
"So, I'm that hard to handle?!" she exclaimed.
"But Temari..." Shikamaru said. "You're my kind of woman." Temari blushed.
"Nice save Nara."
This was inspired by either a doujin or a fan comic. If you ever imagine Temari in a French maid's outfit, I think we'll see blood. Lots of it.
So sorry if the ending is lame. I always write lame endings and that's not a good thing for a writer... If you have any suggestions, positive comments, constructive criticism and such, please review. Though I'm not a big fan of flames...