Jayne dropped down into Kaylee's bunk to find her not even payin' attention to him – she was laying on her stomach readin' something on a mechanical whatsit she'd been messin' with ever since they stopped on Beaumond and she'd scrounged a few handheld units from the scrapyard. "Whatcha doin'?" he asked curiously, hopin' she'd put it down so's they could get on with the sexin' she'd promised him after dinner.

She just held up a hand to make him be quiet. "Sssh! I'm just gettin' to the good part!"

"But-"

"Not now, Jayne!"

He sank down onto the floor with a sigh and was startin' to wonder if he should just leave so she could read whatever the hell she was readin'… had to be somethin' real good if she was choosin' it over him, he thought sulkily.

Mal's voice sounded over the comm suddenly. "Kaylee, you wanna be explainin' why this engine room's in such a state?"

Kaylee gave a gasp at bein' interrupted again and reached to smack the reply button. "I told ya, Cap'n – if you ain't willin' to spring for them new parts we need, I gotta work around the problem…Jayne, get away from there!"

Jayne had taken advantage of her momentary inattention to sneak on over and slide the unit towards him so he could see just what the di yu was better'n he was. And, 'parently, it was some gorram vidbook called Daring In The Dark. "My Ma reads this crap! Why…"

She snatched the unit from his hands, so mad that her face was turnin' pink. "Hey! Do I mess with them girly mags of your'n?"

He scratched his head. "Well, yeah! You was lookin' in one just yesterday."

"I was just readin' them articles, an' you know it!"

"Ain't no articles in the centerfold," he reminded her, and snagged the unit back again. "What's this'un about, anyway?" Clearing his throat, Jayne started to read aloud slowly. "'It never woulda happened if the power hadn't of gone…gone out. Tawny Saunders was just on her way to the deb…deboo…debootant's ball when the lift stopped an' left her in dire strits'. I mean, 'straits'. 'Only the handsome handyman Dugan could get her out in time to save her re…rep…repootay-shun but would she go to th' ball or take a chance on findin' love? Passion ignites an' hearts collide as Tawny finds out how ta be Daring in the Dark'." Jayne blinked, then started to guffaw. "Who reads this? What a load of-" he stopped at Kaylee's hurt expression. "Aw, bao bei, I didn't mean…"

"You don't gotta act like it's dumb an' I'm even dumber for readin' it." Kaylee slapped his hand away as he reached for her.

Jayne reached out again anyway. "I don't think you're dumb, xin gan. You're one a' the smartest girlfolk I know of – just, I ain't never thought you'd like them sorts of things. Some of 'em got good sexin' near the end though." He finally got a hold of her and tucked her against his body. "Just think it's feng le to read 'bout it when we could show them fancy Core vidbook writers more'n a thing or two."

"I dunno," Kaylee said, still tryin' to hold on to bein' mad at him. He could see the start of a smile in her eyes though, and gave her a loving squeeze as he thought of something.

"Hey, I got an idea. How 'bout we read the book together? You got another of them things, right?"

She giggled. "Read it? Together? You mean, out loud and all?"

Jayne nodded enthusiastically, startin' to warm up to the idea. "Well, yeah! You can read Whasshername's part an' I'll be that repair guy. Be fun." 'Specially when we get to the sexin'.

Kaylee kept gigglin', which was fine with him 'cause it meant she weren't mad no more. "Okay. Let me get the other one first…I just got to the part where Dugan shows up so's we can start from there." She dug under the bed and fiddled with the second handheld she pulled out, then shoved it at him. "You go first."

Jayne grinned and found his place. "You all right in there, miss?"

"I certainly am not! I'm late and my reputation will be ruined if I don't get to the ball," Kaylee cried, gettin' into it. "Please, just get me out of here!"

"Just you hold on and don't worry your pretty head about it, Miss Saunders. I will save you and your repootay-shun," Jayne declared.

An hour later, Tawny and Dugan finally started to declare their love for each other. "Why, ever since I first saw you outside the gates of Daddy's floating island estate with your shirt off, I've secretly dreamed of taming such a magnificent man! It was love at first sight yī jiàn zhōng qíng" Kaylee cried, one hand restin' on her heart.

Jayne moved closer, still caught up in readin'. "You ain't never going to tame a man like me. I'm wild as the wind!"

"No matter what they say, we have to be together! Now that I've found you, I can't ever be without… Daddy says I have a fragile heart. I give it to you, Dugan. Treat it gently," she begged.

The book said he was s'posed to fall onto his knees and yell, so he did. "I reckon I love you with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns!"

"Oh, Dugan!"

"Tawny!"

"Dugan!"

"Tawny!"

"Dugan!"

Jayne frowned down at the book and rapped his knuckles on the screen. "Hang on, it got stuck."

It skipped ahead a few lines, and they were finally ready to start the sexin' part of it. "Take me to heaven and beyond so that the angels themselves are jealous of the love we share," Kaylee called out, puttin' both hands on her coverall and rippin' it open just like the women on them Cortex shows. "Do you really love me? Ni zhēn ài wo ma?"

"I will love you forever Wohuì yong yuan ài ni, Miss Tawny," Jayne promised, tearin' his shirt open, too. The sight of Kaylee standin' there bare to the waist was messin' with his calm and as he looked at the way she was breathin' in and out real quick-like, he couldn't stand it no more. Tossin' aside the vidbook, he lunged at her and scooped her up in his arms. "God, you're so beautiful Tianna, Nî hâo mêi!"

Kaylee wriggled against him excitedly as he bore her down onto the bed, pullin' at the rest of her clothes and tryin' his best to shove his pants down. Finally they were both nekkid and she was wrappin' her legs round his hips as Jayne shoved inside her with a loud groan. "Aiya, you're so big hen da," Kaylee whimpered as he started thrustin'. They were both of 'em so worked up that it didn't take but a few minutes until his woman's teeny lil' hands was grabbin' at him while she hollered his name out to whoever was listenin'.

Jayne came with a shout, rollin' off her and breathin' hard. "Gorram, girl. You're so fucking sexy gan ni qíng gan de."

She snuggled against his chest after grabbin' up a cloth to clean off with. "I ain't the only one."

Next morning after Jayne crossed the hall for a wash-up, clean clothes and a shirt that weren't ripped, he dropped down into the seat next to Kaylee when he found her in the galley. "Who's cookin' today?" he yawned after bendin' over to give her neck a smacking kiss that made her giggle.

"Wash."

He groaned. "Ah, he ain't nothin' but a useless person fèi rén in the kitchen an' we all know it – why we still puttin' him on galley rotation?"

"Hey! I take exception to that remark," the pilot said, comin' in the door in time to hear the truth bein' spoken.

"You can take all the esseption ya want, lil' man. Still won't make you a good cook."

Zoë came in, an amused look on her face. "You threatenin' to cook breakfast again, dear?"

Wash threw his hands up. "You're all against me!"

Kaylee bounded to her feet and started pullin' on Jayne. "C'mon, we can make somethin' up, troublemaker wenshen."

"We made food yesterday, an' it's our turn again tomorrow," Jayne complained.

Wash, the smartass, just leaned in close. "Is the mighty Dugan shrinking from his beloved Tawny's challenge? If you really loved her with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns, you'd help her cook."

Jayne narrowed his eyes at the pilot, looked over at Zoë, then back again. "That s'posed to be funny or somethin'?"

"Of course not….Dugan."

Zoë put a hand on her soon-to-be-dead husband's arm. "Don't tease him, Wash. Just ask politely, like we discussed last night."

Wash huffed, then cleared his throat. "Fine, lambie toes. It's just for you that I'm asking, though." He turned to Jayne, and took a deep breath. "Um, Jayne? Can we borrow that book?"

fin