Kinsey's Last Stand
By Jackie

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1, yatta yatta yatta. Personally, I think these things are superfluous.

AN: Uh... Yeah... Just another story that popped out from one line - Kinsey's initial full accusation, if you're curious. Pointless Kinsey bashing ahead by means of S/J! In the next (and final) chapter.

-O-

Reporting as ordered, Colonel O'Neill entered the briefing room and headed for General Hammond's office. He hoped this was going to be short; Carter was working on a MALP unit below, bent over and exposing a nice view of her a--. True as it may be that Carter would probably not appreciate being ogled, and by her CO, no less, the fact still remained that he was missing the show. Undoubtedly, she would sense his stare and glare at him without really meaning it…

D---. This had better be quick.

As he passed by the window, he noticed someone already sitting in the General's office, familiar in a glance. He knocked on the door just as recognition hit him.

Sure enough, Senator Kinsey opened the door. "Colonel O'Neill," he said in a false cheery voice, "Nice to see you again."

"Aww, h---," Jack said in return and brushed past Kinsey without a further word. "General?"

"Colonel O'Neill, Senator Kinsey arrived a few minutes ago. He requested to speak with you and me on a matter of what he said was extremely urgent." He paused to take in Jack's disgruntled features. "Believe me, Colonel, I'm not any happier about this than you are."

"Nor am I," Kinsey pompously added, as if his opinion mattered.

Well, actually, that was the problem, wasn't it? Kinsey's opinion did matter.

He sighed and passed a hand over his face. "Let's just get this over with. What do you want, Senator?"

"Only what's best for this country," he stated obtusely.

"Yeah, yeah. Ya' know, somehow, I've always doubted that. I've always thought you were really just in it for-"

"Colonel," Hammond warned while at the same time Kinsey answered, "Money?"

"Power," Jack finished.

"Colonel," Hammond repeated sharply.

"Yes, well.." Kinsey's mood had shifted from falsely optimistic to negatively pensive. "Power does have its privileges…"

Jacks' brows were furrowed together as he shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels.

"You and your team have thwarted me for the last time, Colonel. If I can't shut down the SGC and that d---ed gate, then I'll at least get the single greatest threat to this planet dismantled and no longer putting the world at risk!"

"You mean SG-1?" Hammond clarified in disbelief.

His eyes flashed manically. "That's exactly what I mean."

Jack looked to George questioning for a moment, but the older man was just as confused as he was. Directing his attention back to Kinsey, he asked, "And how, pray tell, do you intend on accomplishing that?"

"Regulations," he stated simply, grinning in a manner Jack could only describe as wicked.

"What regulations would those be, Senator?" Hammond asked confidently. If anyone knew regulations, he did; he practically had the book memorized. "They only apply to two members of SG-1, in case you've forgotten."

"I haven't. That's the whole point."

Jack was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation and the Senator's implications; he could handle it, but it was far from how he had ever envisioned things going down. The only outward show of his discomfort expressed itself as crossing his arms over his chest. He schooled his features into a mask of neutrality, preparing himself for anything. But Kinsey wasn't a stupid man; he noticed Jack's subtle reaction and read it for what it was.

"You're pretty close with Major Carter, aren't you?"

Jack shrugged. "We're a tightly knit group, Senator. I'm close with Daniel and Teal'c, too. Kind of happens when you depend on each other in life or death situations."

"Yes, yes. That rule of closely knit bonds and friendships between combat teams seems to have been universally disregarded for the SGC." Hammond's frown deepened while the Senator continued. "But that's not what I'm referring to, is it?"

"To what you are referring, I couldn't tell you," Jack replied, purposely being annoyingly proper.

"You're not stupid, Colonel. You know what I'm talking about."

"Well, I'm not a mind reader, either. I don't have a clue."

"She's a beautiful woman, Jack. And you're a lonely man."

"And your point?" Jack asked dimly as he fought back bristling feelings from hearing another man – no, Kinsey – referring to her as beautiful. What? Could no one else appreciate Sam Carter's good looks?

Kinsey can't, he decided.

"My point, General," Kinsey said spinning to face Hammond. "Is that this man is all but in love with his second in command!"

"Senator, that's a very steep accusation you're making against my second in command and one of the best d--- officers the Air Force has ever known," Hammond replied, voice low with livid energy crackling beneath his cool tone.

Jack decided to play with Kinsey rather than taking him seriously; it would infuriate him, and that thought made Jack giddy. "It's okay, Sir. It's an utterly false statement," he said smugly, slipping his hands back into his pockets.

"It is, is it?" Kinsey asked dangerously. In a manner Jack bemusedly thought to be bordering on deranged, the Senator flipped open the manila folder to expose a series of snapshots in which the Colonel and Major were in close proximity or sharing a longing glance, one where they were in an intimate hugging embrace, and another in which Jack's hand rested softly on Sam's cheek, the looks on their faces unmistakable.

Jack's eyebrows shot upward at the stack of 'evidence' Kinsey had provided. There were more documents paper-clipped beneath the pictures which Jack assumed to be reports of some sort. "Senator, as… well-meaning as I'm sure your intentions were," Jack began sounding uncertain. "I really think you need to find yourself a new hobby. It's downright disturbing that you've been stalking us…" He visibly shivered to illustrate the point.

"It is disturbing. Disturbing that the frontline team of this planet has such a sordid, dishonorable scandal as a relationship between two ranked Air Force officers in the same chain of command. Probably engaging in sexual activities every time they step through-"

"General, I really think Major Carter should be present for this given the circumstances," Jack interrupted, leaning across Hammond's desk and ignoring anything further Kinsey had to say. He was trying to take this in stride, but as usual, the Senator wasn't making it easy. Accuse him of wrong doing, sure, but to insult Carter's honor as an officer and woman? Kinsey was in dangerous territory, even if he was a US Senator standing in General Hammond's office.

Hammond seemed to draw a steadying breath at Jack's suggestion. "Excellent idea, Colonel. I agree. Where is she?"

"No idea, Sir," he answered immediately but he met his CO and friend's eyes: he did know where she was, but he wanted to be the one to retrieve her. He also needed time to regain his footing and to grab something from his office – his ace in the hole.

Thankfully, Hammond got the message. "In that case, since you know your team better than anyone else, find her and bring her back with yourself."

"Yes, Sir."

"You have an intercom system!" Kinsey pointed out hastily.

Jack was already across the room, hand on the doorknob. "With all due respect, Senator, if you're going to be accusing her of having sexual relations with her commanding officer when it d--- well isn't true, I think she deserves a warning."

"Like h--- she does!" Kinsey raged. "You're going to brief her on what to say!"

"General!" Jack darted his eyes to Hammond. This was quickly getting out of hand, and the prospect of handling this outside the realm of violence was becoming less and less appealing.

"Do not insult the integrity of my people, Senator!" he rebuked irately. "No more than you already have! You have laid some serious accusations against two of my finest officers. Major Carter has every right to be briefed on what is going on here,-" Kinsey started to interrupt, but Hammond shouted him down, "From her commanding officer! That is my final word on the subject, and you have no jurisdiction to overrule me."

Kinsey bristled, breathing deeply to control himself and said nothing.

Jack let himself out, sending Hammond a grateful glance. But as he tried to shut the door behind him, he ran into resistance – Kinsey held the door open.

"Fine," he said in a controlled voice. "But I'm going with you, and-" he spun around to face the General, "If you stand in my way, I will take it as you being a willing accomplice to this serious breach of conduct."

Jack was surprised to see Hammond rising menacingly from his seat, undoubtedly the words Is that a threat? on the tip of his tongue. He couldn't agree more, except that an idea for an even better way to put the Senator in his place had just occurred to him. He only hoped Sam would agree – and that she would forgive him for what he said next knowing full well that Kinsey would not keep his mouth shut.

He waved his hand back and forth. "It's fine, General." Hammond's narrowed eyes slid over to acknowledge him, and Jack nodded towards Kinsey. "If the Senator wants to continue stalking me for a little while longer, it won't make any difference."

He frowned. "Are sure about that, Colonel?"

"Positive, Sir," and he gave a small smile that he hoped said Trust me.

And Hammond did, albeit unsurely. He directed his attention to Senator Kinsey again: "You are on thin ice, Senator. When this is over, the President will be hearing about it."

"Oh, I have no doubt of that," he retorted smugly with a barely concealed sneer. " You see, General, you've already fallen through, and it's up to me whether or not you'll receive a hand out of the icy depths you find yourself in now."

General Hammond's jaw clenched, and Jack decided that the best course of action would be to take the Senator on his own before the SGC was in need of a new commander. He started on his way through the briefing room, Kinsey hot on his trail.

"On second thought," Hammond's voice followed after them, and Jack paused at the exit. "I'm coming, too."

Jack barely restrained an eye-roll but felt grateful for George's support; he just wasn't sure if he could really do this in front of him. But deciding that it was probably better this way, he puffed up his cheeks as he let out a sigh and led the way towards, first and foremost, his office.

"I have reports and testimonials. I have security camera footage. I even have copies of e-mails and memos…" Kinsey was speaking rapidly, excitement once again pervading his tone.

Jack was prepared to let it slide, for Kinsey to get his hopes up so the crash at the end would be that much better, but Hammond had no such intentions.

"If your evidence is so damning, then why are you even here? Surely, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter should already be scheduled for their courts-martial by now," he challenged.

"Because I thought I'd be kind and give them a chance to explain before going forward," Kinsey said sweetly.

"Bull----. You mean to blackmail!"

"Oh. I intend to do much more than that," and he said nothing further.

They arrived at Jack's office, at which point another verbal brawl initiated between Kinsey and Hammond. While they were thoroughly distracted, he slipped inside his office and retrieved a folded document from within his desk drawer. He looked over it for a moment, still wondering what he had been thinking when he'd requested it. Of course, Thor hadn't helped matters, abducting him one night a couple weeks ago stating that he felt as if he, on behalf of the Asgard, owed Jack a great personal debt that couldn't be repaid with exchanges of technology and protection for Earth. If Jack had been floored by the little grey alien's sudden borderline emotional decision, Thor's idea of repayment had been… Well, he wasn't sure what, but shocking didn't quite cover it.

He'd agreed partly because he was amused by the idea, partly because he was still half asleep, and partly because… Because the thought taught him to hope. It was selfish and inappropriate, and he never should have done anything without first consulting Carter… Which was why she still didn't know. He kept putting it off for a later date, afraid of her reaction when she found out what he'd done.

Somehow, he didn't think even the Asgard could protect him from the wrath that would be - could be Major Samantha Carter after she found out.

Well. They did say no time like the present.

Concealing it within his BDUs, he exited the office only to find the two senior officials still at it.

"Where is Major Carter?" Kinsey asked Jack immediately, now growing impatient.

"Gate room," Jack answered simply, leading the way.

"So you lied to your superior officer earlier when you said you didn't know where she was," Kinsey stated as if empowering himself.

"No." Hammond cut in. "I knew perfectly well that Jack had an idea of where she was; you were just out of the loop, Senator."

While Kinsey silently seethed, Jack momentarily allowed himself to find amusement in the two men's behavior – or more George's. It was nice to have such a loyal friend as your commanding officer, and he knew that in the future, they would all be laughing about this.

Just then, Daniel rounded the corner.

"Jack! General Hammond! I was just…" he said in greeting, and then froze confused. "Senator Kinsey. Ah… To what do we owe the…" he shot a look between Jack and Hammond and said barely audible, "Displeasure?"

Deciding it would be too complicated to explain and fearing that Kinsey would embrace the "difficulties" without any, Jack looped a friendly arm around Daniel's shoulders and guided him along with them. "Come on. It'll be easier if you just come with."

"Okay… Are we gonna lose the Stargate program again? Because last time-" he began enumerating.

"No, Daniel. The President wouldn't allow it, despite however important the Senator seems to think he is," Jack answered.

Kinsey scoffed, but said nothing.

"Carter still in the Gate room?"

"Uh yeah, last I saw. I think Teal'c went with her; they were talking about Ry'ac…"

"Perfect," Jack replied. He hadn't been a reckless decision maker in a long while – not since his first training exercise for the black ops in which he realized the importance to think every action through. He wasn't sure if he'd really thought this action through, though. Driven by his angry desire to see Senator Kinsey put in his place, he hadn't been able to analyze how Carter might take his plans. He really hoped she would go along with him, but he would give her the option. He had to give her the choice. And if she didn't want to realize his plan, well then….

He glanced at Daniel; the unsuspecting archeologist had his brows furrowed, deep in thought about the present situation which he knew nothing about. His friend would stick by him; Jack was confident in that. Men revealed that they were gay every day, right? And Carter would be safe while he would take the fall.

Jack just hoped that Daniel would be able to forgive him.

He looked to Daniel again and mentally blanched at the thought of Plan B.

Actually, he really, really, really hoped Carter – Sam – wouldn't make it come to that.