Title: Secrets

Warning: Slash. RemusXSirius. Very bad, crude humour.

I do not own Harry Potter and never will (much to my disappointment)


A/N: If a word is wrote in bold it means it was scribbled out.

S: Moooooony!

R: What?

S: Tell James off!

R: Why? What have you done now?

S: Me? I haven't done anything! James is calling me dense!

R: And…?

S: He's calling me ME dense!

R: Do you even know what dense means Padfoot?

S: …

R: Well?

S: No but…

R: Precisely!

S: So what does it mean then smart arse?

R: Thick. It means you're thick.

S: But I aren't!

R: Yes you are!

J: Thank you Remus. My point exactly!

R: You're welcome James.

S: OI!

R: Why were you calling him dense anyway?

S: Don't you dare James!

J: I was saying that it is obvious he fancies you and that you fancy him back.

R: Prongs, Sirius scribbled the name out.

J: Prat he is.

R: Still don't get why you were calling him dense though.

J: I said he was dense for not seeing that you fancy him!

S: Suck on my Lollipop…

R: SIRIUS!

S: It's a song!

R: So why did you say it?

S: I can hear someone singing it.

J: Lily.

S: What?

R: Random.

S: That guy is too obsessed for his own good!

J: Nooo. Lily is singing it.

S: Oh okay.

R: So where were we Prongs?

J: We were discussing that you fancy Sirius.

R: …

J: Moony reply!

R: No.

J: Haha! You just did!

S: Why is Lily singing Suck on My Lollipop? Has she got a d-

J: NO! SHE HASN'T!

R: How do you know?

S: James are you blushing?

R: Lily?

L: What?

R: Is there something you and James aren't telling us?

L: You and Sirius together yet?

J: Could cook an egg on your face Moony!

R: Thank you Prongs

J: You're welcome.

L: James, it's not sore anymore.

S: WTF?

R: Are you two sure?

J: Good I'd thought I'd hurt you!

L: No it was rather nice actually…

J: Really?

L: Yes.

S: Moony and me are still here you know!

R: What's sore Lily?

L: My foot! What were you thinking?

R: Reread what you two wrote.

L: Oh.

R: Yeah.

L: Badly aimed tickle spell Lupin.

S: Whatever.

J: So do you fancy him Remus?

L: Him?

S: Boys?

R: Lily, why are you joining in?

L: Because as James' girlfriend…

S: GIRLFRIEND!?

R: Awww. James were you going to tell us?

J: Yes . . . Eventually.

S: Is he good Lily?

L: Very good.

R: So you two have slept together!

S: Eggs. Now I fancy them, we've got our ovens, just need the eggs…

J: I'll ask again. Do you fancy him?

R: I . . . I dunno.

S: Are you even gay Moony?

R: . . . yes

S: Really?

R: Yes

S: Seriously?

R: Yes

S: You're gay?

R: YES!

S: No, really?

R: Crying out loud! YES I'M GAY!

J: You shouted that out to the class you know.

R: Gr. Sirius is the dense one not me!

S: Hey! At least I didn't announce to the whole class I'm gay.

J: True.

S: I kept it quiet.

R: YOU'RE GAY!?

J: Bad luck Sirius, the class knows about you now!

S: Why are you shouting out what you write Moony?

R: Shock, I think.

J: Oh. You do fancy him!

S: So Prongs, how did you finally get Lily into bed?

L: Hey! I'm still reading this you know!

R: How oblivious is Sirius?

J: My point exactly.

S: What's that word mean?

R: Dense.

S: But dense means thick.

R: No. I'm saying that your dense!

S: What does the word mean then!? That oblivi something.

J: Unaware of what is happening around you.

R: How the hell did you know that?

J: Erm…

L: He has a dictionary on his lap, I can feel it.

R: Why can you feel it on his lap?

S: Hands.

R: Pardon?

S: She's been running her hand up his leg all lesson.

J: Padfoot!

R: Aggh!

L: Remus?

R: Hmmm?

L: Why did you just jump?

R: You gave Sirius ideas.

J: WHAT?!

L: How?

R: Hands going up legs.

S: Yeah thanks Lily. Any other tips?

S: Lily, Jamsie?

S: Reckon we shocked 'em Moony?

R: Do that again.

S: What again?

R: What you just did with your hand.

S: This?

R: Yeah!

S: Like it?

R: Can't you tell?

J: GROSS!

L: I guess we weren't the only people hiding things!

J: True! I wondered what those noises were the other night.

S: What?

J: You were moaning Moony's name.

S: crap

J: And Moony was moaning yours!

R: James?

J: Yes?

S: Moony and me were only joking today.

J: What!?

R: We don't go out.

J: Oh shit. I've said too much haven't I?

S: Yeah.

R: Definitely.


Hehe.