A/N: Given the angst I had in my last story "8 Nights" and the future angst I will be posting, I thought I'd hit ya'll with some humor. This was inspired by Kimron Posstoppable's "Possible: Secrets" and part of one of cpneb's stories. I believe it was "Define Hell IV".
Disney owns Kim Possible, and "The Late Show" is owned by Worldwide Pants.
Special thanks to Akinyi and cpneb for "betaing" the list.
Tonight's Top Ten
"So Paul, as we all know, Kim Possible's show has been taken off the air, but she'll continue to save the world with her boyfriend Ron," Dave Letterman said to his own sidekick, Paul Shaffer.
"That's right Dave, and, personally, I think it speaks volumes about her personality" Paul replied.
"And that Pert and Pretty shampoo she uses adds volume to her hair," Dave said, getting a small amount of laughter from the audience.
"So I've heard, but I wouldn't know to much about that," Paul said back. Again, another small chuckle from the audience came.
"Well, be that as it may, in honor of Kim Possible, every now and then we're going to do a Top Ten list dedicated to the show," and then Dave grabbed a card off his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's Top Ten list!"
On the screen set up for the audience, the music for the list started to play, along with a computer animated graphic of the numbers one through ten jumping around like they were on one of Kim's missions.
"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, the top ten things you don't want to here Dr. Anne Possible say while she's at work," Dave said and flipped the card over in his hand, getting to start of the list. "Top ten things you don't want to hear Dr. Anne Possible say while she's at work."
"Oh, so Mrs. Dr. Possible's first name is Anne, I didn't know that," Paul said.
"Uh, yeah, they told us her real first name in the final episode. Here we go, Number ten: This guy's head looks like dinner from last night…wait a minute…"
"Number Nine: Hand me the cutty open thingy so we can fix this guys thinking parts"
"Number Eight: Don't worry; I just put a new chain on this saw. You won't feel a thing."
"Number Seven: Has anybody seen my watch?"
"Number Six: What's this grey thing in this guy's head?"
"Number Five: Oops."
"Number Four: Now that I have tenure, I can work on my plans to switch the brains of a duck with a cow!"
"Number Three: Doesn't this thing go on the outside?"
"Number Two: Well, this guy's gone. Martini!"
"Martini?" Paul asked
"Yeah, I, uh, I guess she likes to drink away a botched operation," Dave answered, then moved on.
"And the number one thing you don't want to hear from Dr. Anne Possible while she's at work: Wow, look at his leg jump! Here, you try it!"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's top ten. There you have it!" Dave said, "We'll be right back with Jim Carrey!"
And the show cut away to commercial.
A/N: Look for these to come out at random times through the year. And I'm willing to accept ideas for Top Ten lists, just send 'em to me in a review or an PM.
BTW: The "home office" is my actual home town. Don't look for it to be changing anytime soon.