I meant for this to be a oneshot (of colossal length), but I have just gotten tired of it sitting on my computer with no feedback. I mean honestly, I'm not sure how much I really like it sometimes (it's a love-hate relationship). So, I hope it's good enough to continue (I have a little more written on my computer), but if it isn't, please tell me because I don't want to keep trying on it if it isn't. If you guys like it, then I'll continue and finish it probably as a twoshot (or less likely, a threeshot) and then go back later and put it back together as it should be – a giant oneshot – because of the emotional impact it has a oneshot. (Really, you thought people cried over "Album Leaf"? You haven't seen anything yet! The ending of this (which I do have written) makes me cry every single time I read it.)
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not I.
The Merman
The waves sweep the shore, one by one. I could go back, I was given the option, but I cannot. I physically and mentally do not have the power.
I can't.
The waves lull me back to a time before, when things seemed simpler. When things seemed…
Different.
Maybe, there will be a time where we could be together. Maybe the day will come soon. Till then, my last memoir of her is this.
I don't exactly remember when I discovered "being." When I realized I was "alive." But, I do remember several things about that statue in my garden. That beautiful white statue, pure as the heavens, found its way into my garden one day. What a silly thing for boys to have, right? But our mother thought it so important that we respect the flowers, the creatures, the "beings" around us. So my four siblings and I had a garden.
I must say—mine was the best. With flowers as red as the sky at sunset, as red as blood, they were so striking against the pale white statue of her. That beauty that had made it into my garden.
She had come from a shipwreck and, from what I understood, was made of "marble." If she had been breathing, she surely would have been the most beautiful "being" in the land.
It was a beauty that some might see, but others would cast off. My brothers had a mixed reaction. As I can recall, Emmett said it was "not as beautiful as Rosalie, but pretty in a different way." Jasper did not seem to feel either lust or revulsion.
I still think to this day that she is the most beautiful "being" in the land.
Some said that I was the most handsome of my brothers. Muscular, but not overly built. Tall, but not too towering. Everything you could mention, it seemed I was the "happy medium." I was the youngest of my siblings and I was the one who had seemed to get it "all right."
My statue was my source of comfort, you could say. I loved my family, but I felt almost left out at times. They each had a source of comfort, of love, of understanding on a different level than that of familism. I had no one like that. So, it became the responsibility of my statue.
I would talk to it for hours on end. About things most would say were trite or stupid, but I knew somewhere in my heart or in my mind, whichever you choose, that my statue did not think so. She knew I was trying to show how much I wanted to know her, to be able to be close to her.
So, sometimes I asked her questions. I knew she would not answer me aloud, but to me, it seemed I heard the answer in my head. People would come by and hear me asking her these things and would stop to listen to my voice. I was known throughout the court for my persuasive voice. My calming voice that seemed to still the most raging of hearts into a loll seemed to transfix those who stopped, but as soon as I registered their presence, I would stop. I wanted to talk to her, my white princess bathed in the bloody sun, and only her.
Being the youngest, I was forced to watch all my siblings go before me to the world above the water. I was obsessed with the stories the adults would tell of the world above. I would ask my grandmother for stories often. It all seemed so amazing, the mountains, the forests, the towns, the sky, the beings with two legs. It was all so astounding to my young mind. The thought of such things existing boggled me to no end! However, I could not travel above for I was not fifteen, the age when I would be granted permission to see the rest of the world.
My eldest sibling, Emmett, came of age and I was accused of sulking.
"Edward, are you jealous of your brother?" My grandmother noticed my face as I watched him prepare to celebrate his fifteenth birthday.
"No." But my grandmother looked at me in that way, that way that you know you cannot get away with anything. "Well maybe, I guess."
"My dear Edward, your time will come in four years. That is not so long, right? We live to be three-hundred-years-old, that is no where near a great span of your life." I knew my grandmother's words were true, but it did not help much. I still…sulked.
Emmett promised to tell us all what it was like in the world above. We all were anxious to hear about it, we could not get enough of grandmother's stories, but I knew I was the most anxious of all. I would sit in the garden and look up to the sky sometimes late at night. I could dimly see the moon and the stars glistening through the water, but it was never enough for me. I would go back to my home and feel as though I had been denied my greatest pleasure every time.
I practically assaulted Emmett when he got back.
"What did you see, what did you see?!!?!" I was like a child who wanted a cookie, but knew I could have one until after supper.
"Edward, it was amazing. There was so much to see. Ah, it is as grandmother said, the forests, the mountains, everything. But, the most beautiful thing of all was when I decided to lay in the moonlight on the sand. It was near a town and oh, it was astounding. The stars seemed so much closer, and I could hear the people in the town. I could see the lights from it and I could smell their drinks, their food, their everything." Emmett spilled on and on about the wonders of the world above while our siblings gathered round to hear of his adventures.
But my other siblings could dismiss his adventures much more quickly than I could. I was still bringing up questions to Emmett of his time on the surface while my siblings were more interested in what the latest fashion was or who had won what game. I had thought that with more tales than just the ones from grandmother I would be able to quell some of my desire, but it had seemed that Emmett had just invigorated it more. Instead, I spent my days imagining the world on the surface and thinking about the day I would finally turn fifteen and get my chance to rise up and see it for myself.
Jasper was the next to rise to the surface. I was as hungry for tales when he returned as I had been for Emmett, though perhaps even more. Again, as soon as he arrived back from his time above, I asked questions.
"What was it like? What did you see? What was the most beautiful? Was it the town? What did you see? What did you see?" I really could hardly contain myself.
Jasper chuckled at my eagerness. "Slow down, Edward. I'm about to tell you. I know better than to keep all my thoughts to myself around you. You always want to know everything anyone is thinking." I came back a bit from my position and listened as his told his tale.
"I happened to rise from the water as the sun set, and it was the most beautiful of sights. The whole sky was a rich gold. The clouds above me were a purple color and a rose color – they were just…. it is so indescribable. There were even more clouds that floated toward the sun like birds and cast a veil over the sky. I swam toward the sun, but it soon set beneath the waves and the clouds lost their tint as the sky turned dark. It was truly a gorgeous sight."
Again as before, I grew in my want and desire to see the world above. The world of my lovely statue. It seemed with each sibling that rose to the surface of the ocean, the more time I spent in my garden with my girl of the palest white.
Alice was the next of my siblings to rise up. She was definitely a bold one and came back with a tale of swimming up a river. She saw hills with lush green foliage and even castles and cities of the two-legged beings. Alice talked of the singing birds, the voices of the humans, and the wonder of the sun, which made it almost unbearable at one point to stay up. But the most thrilling part of her tale was when she spoke of the children.
"There was a whole group of them! They were naked and playing in the water, so I went up to them. They all ran away with fright! Then, a strange creature with black hair came up and made a sound like a…a…bark at me! I had been so brazen before, but at that noise I rushed back to the sea and dove under the ocean again." At that Alice looked away from us, dreamily looking up. "Yet, I don't think I will ever forget the castles, the hills, the sounds, the children, and definitely not that creature!" That had all of us going into fits of laughter.
Another year passed and it was Rosalie's turn to be in the open air. She was more timid than Alice had been and stayed in the sea. She spoke of the land, which she said was quite beautiful. She said she could see for miles and miles and said that the sky was clear. Rosalie also saw ships that "looked like sea gulls from far away" and also saw dolphins and whales in the water on the surface.
With Rosalie going to the surface, it signaled that I only had one more year to wait for my chance to see it. With all my other siblings done with their great fifteenth birthday, they could go to the surface whenever they wanted. It became a more blasé topic for them. They entertained a few of my questions, but most they shook off and said I would see it for myself soon. They did say the water was better and it was much more enjoyable at home than it had been on surface of the open sea.
However blasé they wanted to seem to me, they still went to surface at night and sung. The sailors on passing ships could hear them, but not understand the words in such an inhuman voice. Instead, it sounded like the howling of the wind on the sea. Yet, they still sang on to them, singing that they should not fear sinking to the bottom of the ocean for it was beautiful below. However, my siblings knew good and well that the humans would die if they ever got close to our home.
I would hear of their nightly sings and grow ever more desperate for my fifteenth birthday to come. The more I heard of them talking about the world above the ocean depths it seemed the more I suffered. However, I grew even more dispirited with the fact that I could not physically lament my woes with tears. Merfolk cannot cry, a terrible fate I felt indeed. So instead, I would go to the beautiful white statue and trace her face with my fingers, as if tears could fall out of her stony eyes unlike my own.
After what felt like eternity, the day finally came. It was my fifteenth birthday. I had dreamed of this day for years and years. However, it did not start out quite how I had envisioned it.
"OW! Father, you are hurting me!"
"Edward, I didn't know you were capable of being hurt. You always seem to be indestructible and you are now clamoring over oysters attaching themselves to your tail! With such a position in our society, the son of the king, you have to understand the need to display your rank," my father, Carlisle, said.
"Ah, I am still not quite sure I need all eight oysters and a crown of coral to go to the surface, but I will do as you say this time." I really was not happy about having to bring such heavy items up to the surface.
"With great pride comes great pain." Though I knew my father to be true, I still did not want to recognize it.
I gave my farewells, and rose to the surface as the ocean water became lighter and lighter. As I burst through the water, the sun set and the sky was a dark gold, rimmed with a crimson color. Through the clouds and the colors of the sky, I could see the stars slowly start to fade in to the night sky and one evening star shone brighter than all the others.
The sea was calm and the air was fresh and clean. I looked around and saw a ship with three masts close by. The sailors were all on deck, either sitting around or going about their daily tasks. Soon enough though, sounds of strange instruments filled the air and music erupted from the deck as the darkness of the night was set upon the sea. Lights were lit from lanterns around the ship and soon it seemed there was much rejoicing. I swam closer to the ship to see if I could find out what was going on.
I swam to the cabin window and looked to see people, these two-legged beings, inside. I scanned the room quickly, but immediately my gaze was caught when I fell upon her.
She was so gorgeous.
It was her, my beautiful white statue, except in the flesh. Though she did have more color than my statue, her skin was still quite fair. Her hair was straight and a dark brown color while her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown that was warm. Even though I had only seen her in all white before that moment, it seemed as though I had always known her coloring. It seemed as though I had always known her.
Through listening to the conversations aboard and putting the pieces of the celebration together, I came upon an interesting fact: it was her birthday today as well. The sailors let off things that made a loud noise and burst into shooting stars in the sky as she came out of the cabin. I was slightly startled by the great noise so unexpectedly, but I gained control over myself. They let off more of the great makers of falling stars and I watched them as they fell from the sky and were reflected against the now dark ocean water.
The lady, her, walked around the deck talking with all the sailors and with those in her traveling party. She seemed genuine and honest to all and seemed to sincerely be enjoying herself. I could not take my eyes off her with herself in such a state. However, the spell was soon broken as the lanterns became extinguished and the once calm sea became restless. The once celebratory atmosphere sank into a more stressed one of the sailors going about barked orders and those with the lady went back to their cabin to avoid the agitated sea on deck.
However noble their intentions might have been, it seemed the gods did not see it fit for them to continue in such a manner. The sky grew ever darker and the stars were extinguished like the lanterns. I saw great flashes of light in the distance and knew it to be the phenomenon called lightning that I sometimes saw beneath the surface. Though I was still transfixed by the lady, I could not help but be so curious and wonder-struck by actually see such a thing on the surface.
The waves grew in size, so much that they seemed as high as the great hills Alice spoke of, but the ship tread through them seemingly undeterred. Nevertheless, I still noticed the sailors working hard to keep the ship flying through the waves and heard the ship itself groan against the pressure to simply be battered by the force of nature and let the hands of fate touch it and snip the strings of life of all aboard.
The sailors were great and noble in their cause, but soon nature found it time to stop playing games and to move on to another sport. The next waves crashed through the moaning boards and broke the deck. With the deck broken, the mast soon fell, snapping off like that of a reed. With the mast broken, the ship was knocked to its side. The waves had shattered the boards elsewhere on the ship, so the water rushed in to the ship with great speed and force. I could see that there was great danger for all of the passengers and crew. However, my true thoughts were on her.
I swam carefully amongst the broken wood that was thrown about the water. The world soon became so dark I could no longer see, but with a great flash of lightning, the whole area was illuminated and then my worst fear was shone to me: the whole crew and all the passengers I could see around the wreckage of the ship except one.
Yes, of course it had to be her.
I looked down and into the water to see her straight brown hair curling beneath the waves as she sunk lower and lower. I entertained the thought that we could be together beneath the seas, but only for a second, for I soon remembered that she was not the same as I. She needed air and could not survive at such great pressures as where I lived. So, I dove for her after clearing the wreckage, knowing that even if it could crush me, I would not let it for I was truly on a mission to save her.
I finally reached her after having swim against the waves below the surface. She was struggling still, but her movements were growing slower and slower and her arms moved closer and closer to herself. As I came close, her eyes closed shut, shielding me from seeing those striking warm brown eyes. I knew that I had to get her to the surface fast.
I let the waves propel us some, but I used my own fins to get us up to the top as quickly as possible. I held her head above water as she choked out water from her mouth and her nose and held her body tightly to mine so that she might not be lost with the still churning waves.
I do not know how long it was that we were out on the open water. I only knew that by the time morning had come, I could finally see land as the sun touched the hills. I swam as quickly as I could, though I was quite tired from the rush of panic that had filled my veins all night as thoughts of her dying in my arms on the open seas plagued me.
We finally reached the shore and I brought her up as far as I could onto the sandy beach. I kissed her forehead lightly, hoping she would open her lovely brown eyes and the color in her face would set itself to the lovely blush she had held before. Her eyes opened, and though they were indeed the color I knew them to be, they seemed to not be her own. She seemed instead to be staring at my face with not the slightest clue of where she was. I only hoped she would not panic so that I could tell her I had rescued her. Instead, she simply stared at me for the longest time. I was about to break the silence, however, I had to move quickly away from her as I noticed several human beings walking the shore, coming ever closer. I knew I could not let them see me, so I hid behind some of the larger rocks that littered the beach. I looked back at her and her eyes had closed once again. I then noticed that there was indeed a building up on top of a cliff that hung over the ocean. I thought it to be on of the castles that Alice had spoken of, for it was quite a grand building and rose higher than anything else surrounding but the very tallest of mountains in the background.
They seemed to be dressed finely, or as much as I could tell. I only had the few stories of my family to base this on, but it seemed correct. The party would have most likely come from the castle, as that was the only structure I could see. A young man then saw her form on the beach and rushed to her. He seemed taken aback at such a prospect of finding a girl on the beach, but approached her nonetheless. He bent his head down to her chest and then called the rest of his party. They came down to him hastily and with such a great commotion; she came around truly, not just staring at him. I was then taken aback at the thought that this girl that I had been so enraptured with, came around then, and not before. I was quite angry with myself for not trying noise to wake her. She was smiling at all the people in his party and at him, but to me, her rescuer, she gave no smile.
I could never be angry with her. I could never blame her. Anyone but her – anyone.
The man gathered her up in his arms and took her to the castle on the cliff. The rest of the party followed after him, talking quietly amongst themselves. I watched them tread up the hill to the cliff until they disappeared within the stonewalls of the castle. Angry with myself, I dove back into the sea.