"I…" Kurogane growled out threateningly, his face nearly as red as his eyes "am NOT a babysitter."

Souma grinned at her red-faced neighbor--the type of grin a squirrel sends the predatory dog hunting it when it's safely up a tree, pushing the three children in front of her into his house like a sacrifice to the God of Destruction.

"You have no idea how important this trip is for my job," the woman replied anxiously, backing away slowly. "I already called Sakura and Syaoran's parents, and Tomoyo was actually the one who recommended you—" said girl smiled sweetly, as if she were somehow innocent in all of this. Kurogane glared at her with concealed fondness. The girl thought he didn't like her and she clung to him like a vine to a tree. If she knew he actually found her a tiny bit bearable he couldn't imagine the ramifications.

"I even called your boss and he agreed that all those holidays you never took off could just be rolled into one long vacation! So that's that, I guess," and before the disgruntled man could protest, Souma raced outside to where her comrade-in-arms, Ryuu, had already started up the car.

The stupid woman knew him too well.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow at the three kids standing in his entry way, luggage packed neatly behind them: Two girls, Tomoyo (the bane of his existence) and Sakura (who by association was also the bane of his existence), and one boy who looked rather abashed.

"'That's that,'" Kurogane mocked, standing aside to allow the children into his house. It was a modest two-story his employer, intolerable woman that she was, had forced him to buy. Honestly, he had been fine in his old, comfortable apartment, but when he protested (it had taken Yuuko's other two employees and several concerned passerby to keep him from lunging at the woman) she had only winked and mentioned that a cramped apartment wasn't the ideal place in which to build a family. And of course, the house she had chosen was right next door to an old, family friend's daughter, none other than Tomoyo.

Then, barely a month later he had gotten a call at 6 AM from a pleading Souma, and despite his vehement refusal that cracked the plactic casing on his phone, the kids had been dropped off at 4 PM sharp. She had even made some inane arrangement with his crazy boss that left him on a forced vacation for the duration of the brats' stay.

Kurogane growled. Unlike some people, he actually liked his job, as much as one could when working around that woman, and there was a reason he had never taken a vacation, besides the fact that he was sure the Witch would demand some sort of payment for her 'generosity.'

"Thank you, Mr. Kurogane, for taking us in on such short notice," Sakura dropped into a clumsy curtsy and Syaoran nodded nervously. Tomoyo on the other hand…

Kurogane caught the stray brat by the shoulder before she managed to semi-permanently attach herself to his leg.

"Ohohohohoho Kurogane, we are going to have so much fun staying her with you for the entire winter break!" Her eyes gleamed with a mischief that Kurogane, as her next door neighbor, had experienced time and time again. Sometimes those eyes appeared in his nightmares. Sure, she could be a sweet kid, but around Kurogane she had always been controlling and mischievous. With a barely collected calm he managed to ignore the child and focus on the other two intruders.

"Brats," he addressed all three in unison. "I have four rules in this house."

It was too late to have any hope that Tomoyo would listen, but he had to intimidate the other two kids into obedience before they turned into Tomoyo clones and ravaged his house.

"Number 1: Do not touch anything sharp, pointy, or hazardous looking."

He glared at Tomoyo, who smiled innocently and politely.

"Number 2: There will be no drinking, sex, or any combination of the two."

He turned his glare to Syaoran, who blushed slightly.

"Number 3: There will be no animals allowed in the house."

He attempted to glare at Sakura, but when met with her sweet, green gaze, his glare faltered and died.

"And finally, under no circumstances will you address me by anything other than my given name, no matter how appropriate you think it is."

"Yes Kurogane," the children answered in unison.

He grunted and rolled his eyes. "You two," he gestured to the chatty girls, "second door to the right."

Tomoyo nodded and bowed slightly. She then took Sakura by the hand, semi-dragging the befuddled girl up to their temporary room to no doubt discuss hair and clothes and other 'girl stuff' that was as foreign to Kurogane as his bosses lingerie wardrobe, meaning that it wasn't something with which he was too familiar, but it was also something with which he had had far too much experience for any sane man.

"First room to the right," he told Syaoran. "The bathroom is at the end of the hall. The room on the left is mine. Go near it for anything other than an absolute emergency and risk a loss of limbs."

The boy nodded wordlessly and began his struggle to carry his, Tomoyo's, and Sakura's bags up the stairs. The sight might have been endearing to a tender hearted fool who believed in trivial nonsense such as 'chivalry' and 'gentlemanliness,' but Kurogane, who had exactly one poetic bone in his body, which, incidentally, had been broken several times over the course of his college career as a kendo champion, merely groaned.

The stupid kid would probably end up falling, and his blood would stain the carpet. Blood stains were impossible to get out, so he would have to replace the whole damn thing.

"Oi, you're going to fall and crack your head open if you try and lug all that up the stairs at once." Before the teenager could protest, Kurogane grabbed Tomoyo's bulging bag and Syaoran's much lighter one.

"Thank you," Syaoran smiled, and Kurogane diverted his eyes, trying to will the blood from his face. At least the brat was polite.

Still, it was going to be Hell keeping three teenagers in his house for almost a month. When Souma got back from her 'business trip' he would skin her alive.

…………

"I am so sorry Kurogane! All this is my fault!"

Ding dong…

Kurogane gripped his broom a little more tightly to resist the unbelievable urge to yell at Sakura.

Ding dong…

Attempting to wipe the ash into a pile was difficult enough as the stuff had managed to insert itself in every conceivable space, and the princess's apologies were not speeding up the process.

Dingdong dingdong…

Disgruntled, Kurogane wearily paused in his quest to clean the kitchen. Earlier that night, Tomoyo and Sakura had taken it upon themselves to cook Kurogane dinner. They had taken out many sensible looking ingredients and were talking both rapidly and assuredly, so Kurogane had been given a false sense of confidence in their culinary skills.

Ding dong…

Three pans, two fires, one frazzled Syaoran, and one slightly crispy Kurogane later, they had decided that ordering in pizza was a perfectly acceptable solution. A perfect solution indeed, even considering Kurogane's slight lactose intolerance and dislike of the fatty, oily lard that clung to such food.

Ding dong…

Syaoran, who had inhaled a great deal of smoke when he had bravely pulled Sakura and Tomoyo away from the second fire's flames, had retired to his room. Tomoyo was nowhere to be seen, which, while it was convenient at the moment, would no doubt come to plague Kurogane in the coming hours. Even worst, it had been an hour and a half, and the pizza still hadn't arrived.

Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong—"I'm coming!" Kurogane shouted, racing across the hall to swing the door open. God-damned impatient pizza boys couldn't even wait a few seconds.

He was expecting to find a snot nosed teenager with a pompous expression at least partially covered with pimples outside his door, holding the precious cheese pizza. (Syaoran had wanted pepperoni, Sakura had shyly suggested mushrooms, but cheese, it was decided after Tomoyo cheerfully suggested pineapple, anchovy, and bacon topped pizza, was also perfectly acceptable.)

"Hello," the guy that stood outside his door wore nothing but a tank top and a pair of bell bottom jeans that Kurogane was sure he'd picked out of the junior's department. Considering that this was the middle of December, Kurogane decided the man must either be an idiot or someone who was too poor to afford proper winter attire.

"Who are you?" Kurogane asked, crossing his arms menacingly, like a television villian. He was greatly tempted to slam the door in the strangers face as he was carrying no pizza, but he learned the hard way that sometimes it was a bad idea to piss off your neighbor. (Tomoyo had never forgotten the time he'd "accidentally" run over her latest outfit designs.)

"Hello, my name's Fai D. Flourite and I just moved in across the street." The neighbor flashed him a blinding, Kodak-esque smile and brushed a strand of longish blonde hair behind his ear.

Idiot,Kurogane decided, remembering his previous observation on the man's clothes. He's definitely an idiot.

"What do you want?" Kurogane asked, but the stranger's focus shifted suddenly. It seemed like he was an OCD snow rabbit.

"Oooh! Is that your daughter? She's adorable. You look young for a father."

Before Kurogane could as much as blink, the thin stranger had darted into his living room and was accosting Sakura, who seemed trapped between bemusement, fright, and bashfulness.

"I'M NOT A FATHER!!!" He growled, stomping into his living room.

Fai gasped, supposedly astonished, before he grabbed Sakura with surprising strength for a man of his stature and stood her next to his growling neighbor.

"But you two look so much alike!" He clasped his hands in front of him and tilted his head to the side.

Kurogane and Sakura stared at each other and then immediately looked away. Kurogane had no idea how he and the small, thin girl were supposed to resemble each other, but he decided that it really didn't matter. He had an idiot running rampant in his living room and that was his immediate concern.

"Hyuu!!!" The idiot cheered as he was forcefully hoisted over Kurogane's shoulder. "My new neighbor is so strong! He can lift me so quickly, like it's nothing!"

Kurogane paused in his admittedly short trip to the door. "My name is Kurogane!" He shouted, before forcefully pulling the door open and throwing his new neighbor onto the frost covered lawn. Said neighbor yelped as if he weren't expecting such an outcome.

Kurogane closed the door with a slam and began to stomp his way back into the kitchen when the damned doorbell rung again. Certain that the idiot was trying to weasel his way back into the house, Kurogane lunged for the door and opened it quickly.

"WHAT?" He yelled. The short, pimply teenager cringed away, about to wet himself.

"Your pizza sir," he squeaked in a voice that was about two octaves too high for a boy his age. Kurogane slammed the proper amount of money into the boy's trembling, outstretched hand, ignoring the chuckles coming from the idiot sprawled out on his front lawn like some sort of retarded hobo. The idiot was on his back, propped up by his elbows with a smile so wide that Kurogane could count the idiot's teeth. He was about to close the door when the idiot's stomach growled.

"He seems like he's hungry," Tomoyo, who was peeking out from behind Kurogane, pouted up at Kurogane with wide eyes. Before, he would have been startled to realize a fourteen year old could sneak up on him, but experience told him that Tomoyo was crafty beyond her years.

Kurogane only sighed.

"Yay! Kuro-sama decided to let me into his lovely house!"

"What did you call me?" Kurogane yelled, but Fai had already darted past him into the living room and was currently examining the pizza he'd somehow managed to take from Kurogane's hands.

"Cheese?" He exclaimed, voice incredulous. "The only real pizza topping is pineapple, anchovy, and bacon."

Tomoyo's eyes lit up like she had just been given a Kurogane voodoo doll. Kurogane felt his stomach twist. Perhaps allowing the two to meet was not a good idea, especially not when they had his house so strategically surrounded.

…………

Surprisingly, after the first five minutes of dinner (which consisted of Kurogane chasing Fay around the kitchen with a broom and stirring up the previously settled ash) the meal went surprisingly well. Kurogane had managed to position himself between Tomoyo and Fai, thus cutting off any means of communications for the two, and the only distraction Kurogane had from his food was the occasional giggling from Tomoyo whenever Sakura and Syaoran brushed fingers while reaching for a slice of pizza (for such a tiny girl, Sakura sure could eat. She was already on her fifth slice of pizza while Kurogane was barely on his second. The idiot had only grabbed one piece, and was nibbling on it like some sort of psycho, pizza eating rabbit.)

"So, Mr. Flourite, what brings you here?" Sakura asked between bites, blinking cutely.

"Well, I have all these really big boxes—" the man paused and stretched his arms out as far as they would go, supposedly to explain the hugeness of the boxes, "and I need someone big and strong to help me move them." His eyes darted towards Kurogane who scowled and focused on his pizza. Like Hell was he helping that maniac move in next door to him. He would gladly help the idiot move out of his neighbor hood, but he wouldn't help the idiot move within a distance that made it easy for him to reach and therefore annoy Kurogane. Kurogane had been struck with the thought that perhaps his scrawny neighbor would give up and go back to wherever he came from if he couldn't unpack.

"Oh," Sakura paused thoughtfully. "I'm not very big or strong, but if I can help Mr. Flourite it will make me very happy."

Sakura blushed slightly, and Syaoran seemed unable to decide whether he should be gawking at the delicate color of her cheeks or glaring at Fai, who was suddenly smiling in a very maternal (wth? Kurogane thought) way. He seemed to settle on both, his gaze traveling so quickly from one to the other that Kurogane was sure the brat was making himself dizzy.

"I think I'd like that, Sakura," he told her. "And please, call me Fai. Mr. Flourite sounds so old and boring."

Sakura nodded, and Syaoran gulped. "I'll help too," he announced, smiling warmly at the idiot, though his toothy smile seemed a little more predatory than was absolutely necessary. After all, Kurogane thought, his eyes discreetly scanning his neighbor's lithe form, Fai didn't look like the type to go after little girls. Actually, Kurogane mentally scowled, glaring at the man's far too tight jeans, he didn't look like the type to go after any girls at all.

He paused when he noticed Fai's gaze focused on his shoulder. His face looked odd, like a mixture of smugness and pain and disbelief.

"Well, if Sakura and Syaoran are going, I should go as well," Tomoyo said, amusement lingering in her eyes as she fingered her ever present camcorder. Kurogane frowned. He could just imagine Syaoran trying to lift a box three times his size to try and impress Sakura and subsequently squashing them both while Tomoyo cried from behind her camcorder. That would be troublesome, not because he cared for the brats, but because he wanted to avoid any type of lawsuit that the kids' parents would throw at him.

"I'll come as well," Kurogane said, folding his arms across his chest.

The idiot dropped his half eaten piece of pizza and smiled chaotically, his eyes twinkling wickedly. "Yay, big, strong Kuro-tan is coming!"

"What did you call me?" Said Kuro-tan roared, once again unsettling the ash as he chased the idiot around the kitchen. All his angry mind could process was that tomorrow was not going to be a happy day if he had to put up with that idiocy all the time.

"Bye bye Kuro-rin! See you tomorrow!" The idiot called back as he fled through the front door to safety.

HE. WAS. SEEING. RED.

Kurogane cracked his knuckles, an evil smile that made Syaoran and Sakura retreat back to the kitchen. Then again, tomorrow might not be so bad. Kurogane might enjoy catching the damn idiot and beating some sense into him.