Author's notes

Okay...um...not quiet sure what to say here...Compulsive asked me where this came from, and I replied "Well, my inner yaoi fangirl and my horny gay 17 year old dude met up for some coffee, and this is the result..." I have issues, I know...-hides in her emo corner-

Warning: implied sex? shohen-ai...OOCness...slight language?

Disclamor: Look, are Neji and Itachi have rugged man-smex on your tv screen? yeah, well, i think that answers that question (a tribute-thingy to a good fanfic writer...i'm a perv lol)

Author: Obsessive

It was a normal day in the Akatsuki lair. Itachi was painting his nails, Kisame was writing a nasty letter to a tuna company, Kakuzu was counting his money, Tobi was playing with a slinky, Pein and Konan were in their office, planning, and Zetsu was…well…sometimes it was better not knowing. Our favorite uke was in the room he shared with his "Danna". Said "Danna" was in the living room, enjoying a good book.

Well, he was, until a big ball in curses and blood sauntered through the door. Then he just stood there, looking down at Sasori. At first it was fine, but ten minutes later he was twitching like mad.

Finally, he got fed up. "Is there something you want?"

"Yeah, jackass. I want you to share Deidara."

Sasori stared blankly. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Share him? Hell no."

"Look, I'll fight you if necessary. Share him."

"NO."

In his most ominous voice, Hidan replied "I know who you did last summer."

"Wh-what?"

"I have pictures."

"You…have…what?"

"Tsk, tsk. Your brain isn't working well today, is it." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small stack of pictures. He lifted the top one and showed it to Sasori.

Paling, he somehow managed to mumble "How did you get those?"

Hidan suddenly looked sheepish. "Look, um, lets just say…I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who stalks Itachi."

Sasori looked at him suddenly with raised eyebrows. "What?"

Hidan looked to the side. "Okay, between the two of us, Sasuke has some," at this point, it should be noted that his voice got girlish, high, and very creepy, "Issues to work out…"He trailed off.

Sasori opened his mouth, then closed it again, and repeated. "Wha-" he stopped, then a look of horror crossed his face, before he violently shook his head.

"Look…why don't we ask Deidara then?"

"Fine by me."

In a tense silence they walked down the hallway to their room. Opening the door quietly, they were greeted with the sight of a shirtless Deidara brushing his beautiful blonde hair, with drops of water still clinging to his body. After a few moments of intense drool time, they walked into the room. Smiling sweetly, he opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted.

"Deidara, what would you do if we told you we wanted to share you?"

He stared at them for a few nervous seconds, then fell back on the bed, spread eagle. The two men at the door stood there surprised.

Deidara lifted himself up onto his elbows. With a sexy grin, he said "Well…I'm waiting…"

So...if it's review worthy, please do, cause it makes me happyful...shut up that is so a word...

-OMGWFTBBQSPOILERSREADATYOUROWNRISK-

I can't believe what happened to jiraiya! it was so sad!