From "The Last Laugh"
mark
Remember when you were fifteen and you desperately wanted to go to military school?
steve
Dad...
mark
I tried to talk you out of it, but you wouldn't listen. You wouldn't even talk to me until I signed the application.
steve
And I was miserable there. I didn't last two weeks. You were right, I was wrong, and I really have to get back to work.
mark
Do you remember when you came back home? Did I ever say "I told you so"?
steve
You welcomed me with open arms. (Unfortunately, I don't have time to reciprocate right now).
mark
The point is, (and) I want you to keep the military school story in mind (when I tell you this) because fathers and sons should be free to make mistakes
Introduction
THURSDAY, 22:47.
Amanda gathered up the mugs which lay hidden beneath mountains of paper on the table
"Well I'm sorry Mark but I really must be going" She said as she laid the mugs down in the kitchen. "I told the babysitter I wouldn't be late and at this rate she'll think I skipped the country!"
"Don't apologise" Mark replied as he waved her towards the door, "you have a little boy at home needs to be tucked in, I have a bed upstairs calling my name and he….." They both turned to see Jesse snoozing in front of the T.V., a handful of files scattered around him. "He does have a home to go to, allegedly, though I may start charging him rent given the amount of time he spends here!"
Mark stood with his hand on the door as Amanda rummaged through her coat pockets for her car keys. "OK, got them, goodnight Mark" she said as she leant forward to give the old man a kiss on the cheek "I'll see you at…" Her words were broken off by the sound of a of a muffled scream and a loud bang. Mark moved instinctively to place a protective arm around Amanda's shoulder. Jesse stirred on the sofa but made no great motion as Mark edged slowly towards the door which lead down to Steve's apartment. "Mark?" Amanda's voice was brimming with fear and concern; concern for Mark and concern for Steve who had been fast asleep downstairs for the last two hours. Mark leant towards the door, he could hear a constant noise now, muffled voices? Grunts definitely, and then another long deep scream. Mark opened the door as Jesse stirred again, this time Amanda was by his side shaking him by the arm. She placed a finger against her lips to silence her young colleague just as he opened his mouth to speak.
Jesse and Amanda reached the top of the stairs in time to see Mark reaching the bottom. They could here Steve clearly now, but his words were still muffled. The tone of his voice was enough to tell them that he was pleading with someone "Mark" Amanda whispered as loud as she could to attract his attention. Jesse pushed past her and ran towards the foot of the stairs. Before he could reach the bottom he heard Mark
"Oh Steve" he said in a low and mournful voice. "Oh Steve, it's OK son".
Jesse's first instincts were to try and restrain his friend as he lay writhing face down on the bed. Steve was soaked in sweat with blankets knotted tight around his lower legs. He continued to shout incoherently, face buried deep into his pillow. Mark held out his arm to stop Jesse from approaching Steve's bed "It's OK Jess" he said as he picked up the lamp which lay on the floor and placed it back on the bedside table "I'll handle this"
"But Mark he's.."
"I said I'll handle it" snapped Mark.
Amanda was now standing in the doorway to Steve's apartment, she reached out and touched Jesse on the shoulder "let's go" she whispered
"But Amanda look at him.."
"Mark has this under control". She sounded as though she was trying to convince herself of that fact. Jesse backed towards the stairs, never taking his eyes off Steve as he tossed around, arms lashing out and legs struggling to free themselves. Mark too kept his focus on Steve, leaning over his son's bed. He reached out to place a hand on Steve's head, his face now turned towards his father. His brow was furrowed, cheeks flushed and rivulets of sweat ran from his forehead down his neck and his body glistened wet.
"Steve" Mark spoke softly, leaning further over him "Steve, it's OK, open your eyes" His hand ran gently down onto Steve's shoulder "come on son".
As Amanda and Jesse pulled the door of Steve's apartment closed Steve let out a powerful cry, then sobs again began to emanate from downstairs. Marks reassuring tone could be heard as the pair exited the house.
Chapter 1
FRIDAY, 07:38
Mark rubbed his bleary eyes as he poured coffee into his mug and sighed as he turned to see the table, still looking as if a whirlwind had hit it. He had just started to shuffle the papers into towers when the door to Steve's apartment opened. Mark turned momentarily but didn't speak, he carried on with the paperwork.
"Hey" came a weak voice from behind him
"Hey" was all Mark could manage in return. He paused a moment "coffee's fresh". He cringed, he could do better than that "how you feeling this morning" he still didn't turn to face Steve
"I'm ……OK" came the strained answer "bit of a headache"
"I'll get you something for that" Mark made his way past Steve. It was as if the word 'headache' had struck a match in the dark, something Mark knew he could help with, this was within his range.
"Dad" the stern tone tore through Mark "I don't want anything, I'll be fine". Mark knew not to argue. He turned back towards the table, still he made no attempt to make eye contact with Steve. That suited Steve just fine as he focused on the coffee-pot in front of him. The last thing he wanted now was to see that look in his fathers' eyes. He knew that look, and it was always followed by those words 'I think you should talk about it'.
Steve picked up his mug and headed back towards the stairs. He paused "Dad" Mark looked up slowly, Steve had his back turned to him "I'll see you later" Steve continued as he slowly made his way down the stairs.
FRIDAY, 08:52
"Do you think Mark'll be OK?" Jesse asked as he and Amanda sat together in the doctor's lounge "I mean Steve was pretty wild last night". Amanda shot him a glare "What I'm saying is, you know, he wasn't himself was he?" He paused, then blurted "Well he kinda freaked me out OK". Amanda continued to stare harshly at her young friend, but remained silent.
"OK, OK" protested Jesse holding up his hands "It's just I've never seen Steve, well anyone, like that before. Well except for when I did my psych rotation" he dropped his head into his hands as he realised what he'd said "Not that I think Steve's…"
"I know" Amanda finally chipped in, seeing that Jesse was genuinely upset by the whole incident. "I just think we are best leaving alone, at least until one of them asks us to get involved". At that moment the door opened and Mark Sloan walked in, looking pale and not his usual happy self. "Morning" chirped Amanda. Mark closed the door and stood with his back against it
"Amanda, Jesse, about last night"
"It's OK Mark", Amanda rose and made her way towards him
"Yeah Mark" started Jesse, realising he had nothing more to add to Amanda's statement "er, yeah, it's OK".
"Well thanks" said Mark, "but I feel bad about pushing you out last night, and I'm sorry that I snapped like I did. I know you were just concerned and probably a little shocked but believe me, it was just better that you left. I knew Steve would wake up and, well you know he wouldn't want an audience, not when he got with it and realised what had been happening". Marks voice was shaky but it seemed he wanted to clear things up "it's just difficult you know, you wake up from a dream like that and it's better if your surroundings are, simple I guess, uncluttered. Not that I consider you guys as clutter, ah you know what I mean" He made his way to the sofa and slumped back
"I know what you mean" Jesse nodded "not that I've ever had a dream like that before, thank god". An uncomfortable silence followed. Eventually Amanda spoke up
"Mark" she said placing a hand on his shoulder "As long as you know that we're here for you" she smiled sweetly and made her way to the door "If you'll excuse me I'd better finish that autopsy and I'll see you guys later",
"Yeah, I'd better get back to it too" sighed Jesse "See ya later".
Mark sat alone in the empty lounge, lost in his thoughts.
FRIDAY, 12:27
The report file on Steve's desk lay open, a photo of a crime scene clipped to the corner of one of the pages. He'd been looking at it blankly for a good 10 minutes now. Picking up a pen he tried to shake himself back to reality, leafing through the pages. His head didn't pound as it had done this morning but it was almost lunchtime now and he still felt rough. He couldn't understand what could have triggered such a dream, it had been a long time since the last one but he was sure he'd never felt this bad afterwards. He picked up his mug and winced as he gulped the cold coffee. Looking at his watch he closed the file and threw his pen down on top of it. His mind wasn't on work and he knew it. He'd be better off somewhere else. He wasn't sure where but he knew the station wasn't the right place. All he needed was for one more person to comment on his tired appearance or apparent disinterest in the case file and he'd snap. He reached his car in the car lot but decided to walk for a while instead.
FRIDAY, 14:07
Steve hadn't intended to go home, that's just where he ended up. He'd headed for the beach hoping the sea air would clear his head. It had helped his headache a little but his mind was still whirring. He could remember the dream he'd had. Unfortunately he remembered it vividly. He closed his eyes momentarily and took a deep breath. He hated this feeling, not quite nauseous, not really anxious, just something he couldn't stop from bubbling up inside him. He also hated the fact that he had no idea what had happened around him whist he'd been dreaming. He'd woken up at about 1:30 and found his dad by his side. According to him he'd been "unsettled" as he put it, for a few hours on and off. He'd drifted back to sleep after that but woke around four o'clock, totally confused and disorientated. The next thing he remembered was being slumped over the toilet, vomiting. His father was by his side talking to him, holding his head up "It's OK, you're home now", that's all he'd said, over and over again. He had no idea what time he gone back to bed, or any recollection of getting there, but that's where he'd woken up again this morning. He'd heard his dad upstairs and contemplated hiding in his apartment 'til he left for work. But something had made him go up there. If he was honest with himself he knew what it was. He wanted his dad to tell him about the night before, he wanted to talk to him about it.
Steve swallowed hard as he entered his apartment. As he stripped his bed he tried to remember more about the previous night. He shook his head, he knew he couldn't force things back into his mind. It would click eventually, he hoped. He found the gaps in his memory annoying more than anything. "Let's talk about it" he muttered to himself. Surveying the wreckage of his room he told himself that "talking" never did as much good as people claimed. Some things will never change, he thought. Tossing the dirty linen into the laundry basket in his closet he clenched his fist and smacked the door shut.
FRIDAY, 14:18
Jesse grabbed Mark by the shoulder as they passed in the corridor "How y'doing?" he asked, as the old man turned to face him, glassed perched on the end of his nose.
"Oh, I'm OK Jess, a little worried if I'm honest about it" Jesse nodded "Called Steve at the station but he left well before lunch, and I called home but he's not there"
"Mobile?" Jesse enquired
"Switched off" Mark grimaced "Ah, I guess he's just off somewhere blowing away the cobwebs after last night"
"Probably", Jesse tried his best to make it sound convincing. "I've got a couple of rounds to do but I'd appreciate some advice on some patients if you've got the time?"
"Always" Mark replied. "How about a late lunch in the lounge?"
"Perfect" Jesse replied "See you as soon as I'm finished".
Smiling, the pair parted company.
FRIDAY, 14:31
The last thing Steve wanted to see as he stepped out of the elevator was, of course, the first thing he saw. Amanda was at the admin desk and looked straight at him as the doors opened. She gave him that smile. It wasn't patronising, just kind of pitying and pathetic. Or sympathetic, maybe that's what it was "poor Steve" that's what she was thinking. If she gave him a hug now he thought he'd scream. What was she, his mother or something? Well, she was a mother, and they're all the same at heart right? He cursed himself realising he'd wasted precious moments deciphering her smile instead of preparing himself for the inevitable
"Hey Steve"
No hug he thought, but a hand gently stoking his arm "how are you doing?"
God, he hated those words
"Fine", he managed a smile though he doubted it fooled Amanda, she'd known him too long. "Dad around?"
"I haven't seen him, but I can page him for you, I know he'd be pleased you're here".
Steve's head dropped as Jesse rounded the corner, "great", he thought, another concerned friend no doubt willing to "talk about it", just what he needed. Jesse dropped his files on the desk
"how y'doing?" he asked.
Can't anybody be a bit more original, Steve thought? Or mind their own business, now there was a novel concept. "I'm fine Jess, I just thought I'd call by and see dad, d'ya know where he is".
"In the lounge, probably cursing me" Jesse replied, checking his watch
Steve rolled his eyes at the looks of intrigue on his friends faces and made his way silently down the corridor.
FRIDAY, 14:36
Steve took a deep breath before entering the doctor's lounge. His father sat at the table, a few files open around him and a sandwich in his hand.
Mark tried not to look surprised to see him. "Want one?" he asked Steve, gesturing to the other sandwich in the plastic container, Steve just shook his head.
"Busy morning?" Steve enquired pulling out a chair, Mark raised his eyebrows. Brushing the crumbs from his mouth and gulping some orange juice from a carton he began waving a finger towards the door. When he'd swallowed the juice he began to speak
"I'm waiting for Jesse, something he want's advice on"
"I can go if you're…."
"No, no, not at all" Mark interrupted, and Steve sat down.
There was a nervous silence for a few seconds, then looking at each other both spoke at once
"I…" they stopped, and smiled at each other.
"You go first" Mark chuckled.
Steve clasped his hands together and drew a long breath. "OK" he began "It's about last night." He paused "There's something I wanted to …" Steve stopped and turned abruptly as Jesse flung open the door
"Hey, sorry I took so long Mark" Mark looked disappointed as Jesse began rambling about charts never ending up in the right place. He wished he could tell him to leave them alone, but he wouldn't embarrass Jesse or Steve like that. Instead he noticed Steve starting to get up.
"I'll see you later" he mouthed to his dad, making his way to the door.
"No, hang around" Mark insisted "This won't take long will it Jess?"
Jesse had little option but to shake his head weakly and smile.
FRIDAY, 14:50
Steve flicked randomly through a pile of magazines on the lounge room sofa as the two doctors discussed patients.
Mark was obviously more concerned about talking to his son, and as a result Jesse stumbled quickly over his words and flapped through pages in the patient files.
Jesse blew the hair from his forehead "And Finally" he said in triumphant tones "Mr J.J. Douglas"
Steve looked up momentarily from his magazine, but soon turned his focus back to the article on some nasty looking parasite.
"Any improvement?" Mark asked? "Not really, can't seem to shift that urine infection"
Steve screwed his face up.
"Well, it's a problem when a patient has relied on a catheter for so long" Mark replied. "Try a different antibiotic or remove the catheter until the infection clears".
"He won't like that" Jesse replied "Told me in no uncertain terms that just because he's in a wheelchair doesn't mean he has no dignity 'I ain't messin maself fur nowun' were his exact words" Jesse mimicked, much to Marks disapproval. "Well, I'll go and talk to him now, make sure he isn't giving the nurses too hard a time" he finished, collecting together his files from the table "Thanks Mark, see you later Steve".
Steve nodded and Mark joined him on the sofa "Sorry it took so long"
"That's OK, I shouldn't have bothered you at work". Marked noticed that Steve seemed rather distant now.
"Are you OK?" He asked gently
"Yeah" Steve replied hesitantly as he got to his feet "but I just remembered something I've got to do, I'll see you at home". With that he made his way along the corridor, leaving Mark to sit alone again, deep in thought.
FRIDAY, 21:06
Mark hurried through the front door and into the lounge "I'm home" he shouted but there was no reply. He looked at his watch and tutted. He hadn't planned on being this late, and he was sure Steve would have been home by now. "Steve" he called again but there was still no answer.
He made his way down to Steve's apartment thinking maybe he'd decided on an early night but there were no signs of him there either. Just as he was about to leave he noticed a small wooden box lying open on Steve's bedside cabinet. He looked around, a guilty expression already on his face. He would usually never pry into his son's personal belongings but under the circumstances…Ah, who was he kidding, he just had a real urge to be nosy so he sat on the clean crisp bed and plonked the box down on his lap.
One by one he started examining the items as he took them from the box. Mostly they were photos, newspaper cuttings, a few letters and postcards, a badge pinned to a scrap of cloth; Mark held a faded photo of Steve, dressed in his army greens, standing outside an army camp somewhere in Vietnam. Steve looked so young, fresh tanned face, smiling broadly at the camera. He looked sternly at the photo for a while, as if that image itself would tell him what was troubling his son. Eventually he placed it back in the box with the other items and returned upstairs.
FRIDAY, 22:47
Steve gently closed the door of the beach house behind him and crept towards the kitchen.
"You been working"? Mark asked flicking on the table lamp beside him.
"Jesus dad" Steve gasped "You almost gave me a heart attack, I thought you'd be in bed" he braced his arm against the fire place
"Sorry, just sitting here reading"
"In the dark?"
"Ah…" Mark thought for a moment "OK how about I was waiting up for you, wanting to ask where you ran off to today after we talked in the lounge".
Steve couldn't help but smile at his honesty.
"I decided to do a little research" he admitted, but didn't expand.
"And?" Mark pushed
"And now I'm ready for bed" Steve answered, holding his ground. With that he made his way downstairs leaving Mark very disappointed and highly intrigued.