The light faded slowly, but surely. Sight was soon returning and the room could soon be seen clearly. Bilis and Suzie were gone to an unknown where or when. The light coming from the machine faded and grief struck a chord in Jack. The machine where Gwen once laid now held nothing. Her body, her soul, her mind, ever last trace of the renowned Gwen Cooper was gone.
He heard familiar footsteps coming down the steps. Tosh, Ianto and Owen soon made an appearance by the doorway as they stared at their leader.
"What happened?" came Owen's voice.
Jack was silent as he walked over and touched the empty machine. He traced along where the cuffs lay with Gwen's blood alongside.
"Gwen was forced to open the rift," his voice was low and sad, "When she realized what she had done she tried to take it all back most likely killing herself in-"
He couldn't finish the words. Gwen couldn't be dead. She was too stubborn to die. Too goddamn stubborn and beautiful. His memories of her flashed in front of him. He remembered when they'd first met at John Tucker's crime scene, how they had a good laughs and fun times in between those dangerous times. He remembered holding her in his arms when she cried and when she laughed. Her memory lingered in the air like the sweet scent perfume she used to wear that made Gwen, Gwen.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he breathed back heavily as slow tears began to fall from his eyes. He turned around to find Owen's hand and Tosh crying while Ianto hugged her. He could almost hear the Doctor telling him Gwen died saving the world right now. It was an excuse he always used to satisfy his ever so guilty conscience.
Jack fell to his knees and wiped away the tears that refused to stop. He yelled as his pain turned to anger. He would get Suzie and Bilis even if it took all of time to do so.
"Jack. Jack. Jack…" \
Jack turned back to the machine. It was still empty and hopeless as ever. He could have sworn…but it couldn't be possible.
"Owen, where are you going?" Tosh asked as she sat at her desk.
Owen made his way towards the Hub door. His expression was mellow and he was carrying a pitcher's glove. It'd been two weeks.
"I have visitation today," he told her.
"Are you nervous?"
"It's the first, so I suppose…"
"What is it?"
Owen snorted, "I could have used one of Gwen's pep talks. Even though I'd pretend to think it were rubbish It'd really boost my confidence."
He grinned weakly. Tosh was silent for a moment and then looked at him again.
"Why are you nervous?"
"It was just something he said last time."
"What?"
"I don't think-"
-Owen," she said sternly.
"Remember how the pictures came to life?"
"Yeah."
"I asked him why he was drawing alien monsters."
"What'd he say?"
"It was representation of me," Owen gulped and looked at the floor.
Tosh stood up and gave Owen a hug.
"You are not a monster and you should let him get to know you better so he realizes that."
Owen snorted.
"I'm serious Owen," she said looking him in the eyes.
"Thanks Tosh," he grinned really meaning it this time.
He was then out the door and on his merry way. Tosh took a seat next to Ianto on the newly delivered sofa. They both sat silently sipping their coffee. Ever since Gwen had closed the rift it had been quiet and only various items like a spear or a golden plate had been falling through. Nothing alien or dangerous.
"That was good advice you gave Owen," Ianto commented.
"I was just thinking what would Gwen say and then…well," she went quiet again.
"I wish I could have known her better," said Ianto suddenly, "Apart from the true blue smiles she'd give me when I'd bring her coffee or the way she tried to console me after Lisa."
"She what?"
"Jack was angry at the time. She caught me in the kitchen one day with a few tears. I thought she didn't notice, but then she told me to meet her in the morgue. I reluctantly did. She pulled out Lisa'a tray. At first I was angry with her, but before I could object she revealed one dozen white roses and told me I deserved to give her a proper goodbye."
"She really did that?"
Ianto nodded, "It was just after the whole countryside incident. Tosh, she saved my life with Suzie and Bilis. She refused to let me go. She refused to leave me alone. She ripped off her sleeve just to stop the bleeding and then she…she got me to the lift and made sure Suzie and Bilis wouldn't come after me by staying behind. It's my fault she's gone."
Tears welled up in Ianto's eyes and Tosh pulled him close.
"We've all been through so much, but…what happened to her. No one deserved that least of all Gwen."
Tosh calmed him as she would a child. She couldn't find the right words and the last thing she wanted to think about was what would Gwen do because then she'd be reminded that Gwen wasn't coming through those doors any time soon. Ianto and her would be left to sobbing lunatics if they carried on like this, but how could one move on when that person had changed their life so drastically. Gwen had given them back their reason to have lives outside of Torchwood.
Tosh used to stay home and read books. The last thing she'd ever thought she'd do was hit on guys at a new nightclub with Gwen. Ianto used to bring his work home with him. He never thought that he'd have a drinking contest with Owen on a Saturday night with Gwen and Tosh cheering him on in the background. Owen used to drink every night after a hard day at work and he still did, but he'd never thought he'd stay sober a few nights for a blind date then Gwen had set him up on. She'd tell him he'd like her and that the girl was a friend of hers and it was true. They had got along splendidly and the only reason they'd broken up was because she got a job offer in America. And Jack. Gwen had changed Jack's way of thinking in so many ways he wouldn't know where to begin. He gave her a new outlook on the world around them the day she joined Torchwood, but he never would have suspected that she'd give him an outlook that made him see the beauty within all the horrible things around them. They had become a part of each other. Now she was gone. Gone into God only knows where.
Ianto gathered himself and apologized for his behavior.
"Nothing to apologize for," she told him.
Jack sat in his office staring at a photo of him and his team. His wonderful, sweet, dysfunctional team who had become his second family. He played the patriarch while Ianto, Owen and Tosh played the siblings while Gwen played the matriarch only because she was the only one who questioned him day to day and challenged him. Jack always loved a challenge. He loved an unattainable prize and now she was gone and truly was unattainable.
She stood next to him smiling her gap toothed smile. He could never get tired of that smile. If you looked closely you could see her tongue tucked mischievously in between just like another girl he used to know used to do. She was laughing when they took this picture because of him. It was just after her and Rhys broke up and she was a bit down, so he put on his charm and made her laugh in the picture. He was holding her hand. Her soft sweet hand that he would never feel in his own again. And she wore a necklace that he had brought her for her birthday. The gold shown against her neck bringing out the glint of her pretty green eyes along with it.
He looked at this picture remembering her joy while he looked back on her chained in that machine remembering her pain and agony. Things she should never have seen passed through her eyes. Feelings and emotions she never should have felt hit her at a constant pace. Death flashed in front of her eyes more than once and she was struggling to hold on to everything around her. She was crying because it hurt. Everything just hurt and he could see it all on her face.
Jack buried his face in his hands and took a sip of the alcohol beverage he just couldn't seem to get enough of nowadays. He wasn't ready to let her go especially if she was alive out there somewhere. There wasn't enough time. There was never enough time. There never seemed to be.
He was awoken from his revelation as the Hub alarm began to go off. He was thankful for the distraction. Anything to keep the depressing thoughts that lurked just beneath the surface away for just a bit longer.
"What is it?" he asked leaving his office and making for Tosh's computer.
"Nothing big. Probably just another item."
"We should go then. It might be alien," he said.
"I doubt it," said Tosh.
"Not the point," Jack snapped. He then pinched in between his eye brows and looked down, "Tosh I'm sorry-"
"-No need Jack," she said putting up her hand, "Now you and Ianto get out of here before we start our own little version of Sulking in the rain."
Jack grinned at Tosh and grabbed his coat. Ianto followed behind. They entered the SUV in silence and drove in silence. Normally he would have taken…well he'd just have to get used to the idea of a new passenger buddy no matter how quiet the trips were going to be. He remembered how she always used to nag him asking questions that he'd never and sometimes answer. No matter how annoying one would argue her to be, he loved every moment of it. He parked the SUV outside of a park where they had tracked the item to be.
"Tosh, what are looking for?"Ianto called into the comm.
"Something small, I believe it's white. I don't know you have to look around and see what you find," she called back.
Jack passed a teeter totter and a slide. The playground was deserted and he was relieved of it. The last thing he needed was some ignorant kid picking up unknown and possibly dangerous objects. Ianto and Jack split up searching the playground for something apparently small and white.
"Am I close Tosh?" Jack called.
"I'm not sure."
Jack sighed in defeat. He sat on one of the swings and began to swing slowly. He always liked playgrounds. It reminded him of children and innocence. It reminded him of times of peace and love. Jack sighed again and pushed forward a little more forcefully when something small caught his attention. It was crouched behind some leaves in the corners of the fence that surrounded the swings. It was small and white.
"Tosh, I think I found it," he called into the comm.
"Yeah that's it. Where was it?"
"Hidden behind some leaves."
"That would explain the faulty signal."
Jack leaned over and picked it up. He observed it for a moment. It was an envelope that had been a bit weathered but in fine condition nonetheless. It was a bit heavy, but he didn't mind. He turned it over and brushed away the dirt in the front that covered a name.
"Sir, did you find it," Ianto asked standing not so far behind him.
"Jack. Jack. Jack…"
That voice. He peered at the envelope. The name inscribed on it read Jack and was in painfully, wonderfully familiar handwriting. As if the events of current weren't bad enough. Jack held it and took a deep breath.
"Yeah, I found it Ianto," he answered slipping the envelope into one of his many pockets.
"What is it sir?"
"Answers."
Ianto stared at him in confusion as he made his way past. The wind blew past them carrying the leaves. The trees were beginning to turn, but the wind was warm and sensual against him. It was as almost as if a presence were with them trying to send a message of hope. The wind shifted again and Ianto hurried after Jack following him on this hopeful, mysterious, soothing day.
PART 2 OF THIS STORY-THE RIFT AND ROSE
i hoped you all enjoyed