The 12 Days of DEATH NOTE
A/N: In honor of the holidays, I shall parodize the traditional Christmas song, The 12 Days of Christmas. Happy holidays, y'all! Italicized stuff is Light's singing. Bold is Ryuk. Underline is Misa. You should recognize the rest. If you want to, you can also read my other two holiday fics, which are Naruto based. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: If I owned Death Note (or the 12 Days of Christmas), I wouldn't be writing now, would I?
Light, taking a short break from the Kira case, decided to for whatever reason sing a song. It was the holiday season, after all. The room was pretty silent before that, with Ryuk standing over his shoulder, and Misa being a happy girl. L, wherever he really is, was somewhere around the area, probably sitting observing tapes from different scenes holding his knees and sucking on a peppermint candy cane.
On the first day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, a murderer on death row!
"Oh, Light!" Misa cried joyfully. "You're singing about me?! How romantic!"
"Hyuk hyuk," Ryuk chortled. Light happened to be laying on the couch of their apartment, staring at the ceiling, singing this unusually in a happy tone of voice.
"No, Misa…" Light finally replied flatly. "I'm singing it for my own enjoyment…"
Misa grumbled.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
On the 3rd day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
On the 4th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of robbers, and a murderer on death row!
"This is such a beautiful song," Ryuk sarcastically remarked.
"Shut up, Ryuk," Light ordered. "I'm trying to sing!"
On the 5th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, FIVE DETECTIVES!
A small pause was made, when L suddenly showed up in the room. He stared blankly at Light, who looked back at him.
"What are you doing, Light?" Ryuzaki asked suspiciously.
"I'm just reciting the criminals Kira killed in song," Light jokingly answered.
"It was 12 FBI agents, for your information, Light," said L, putting his index finger at the tip of his lips.
"I know…I'm just…being silly! You know, for the holidays."
"Yes, right…" L kept staring at Light, until he shuffled out of the room, slouching as usual. Light then continued his song.
Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of robbers, and a murderer on death row!
On the 6th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, six teens a-stealin', FIVE DETECTIVES! Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars and a murderer on death row!
"More stealing people…? Light has no sense of creativity in this song," thought Ryuk unusually.
On the 7th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, seven wedding crashers, six teens a-stealin' FIVE DETECTIVES! Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
On the 8th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, eight mafia members, seven wedding crashers, six teens a-stealin' , FIVE DETECTIVES! Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
On the 9th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, nine arsonists, eight mafia members, seven wedding crashers, six teens a-stealin', FIVE DETECTIVES! Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
On the 10th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me, ten-
"Stalker fan boys!" Misa cheered. "They're soooooo creepy!"
"O-kay then…" Light reluctantly replied. "I guess we can do that."
Ten stalker fan boys, nine arsonists, eight mafia members, seven wedding crashers, six teens a-stealin, FIVE DETECTIVES! Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
"Ooooh! Oooh!" Ryuk strangely said. "I have one!"
Light glared at Ryuk. "Does it have something to do with apples?"
Ryuk didn't listen. On the 11th day of Christmas the Misa killed for me, eleven apple jackers-
"Apple jackers…?" Misa confusedly repeated. "Like…people who steal apples? We already have lots of people who take stuff that isn't-"
"APPLE JACKERS!" Ryuk snapped at Misa. She stepped back, and nodded in agreement.
…Eleven apple jackers, ten stalker fan boys, nine arsonists, eight mafia members, seven wedding crashers, six teens a-stealin, FIVE DETECTIVES!
(he said that last part in a very hoarse voice, while Misa and Light grimaced)
Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars, and a murderer on death row!
"Great…now one more thing to say…" said Light. "On the 12th day of Christmas my Misa killed for me-"
Without hearing Light say "killed for me", L hears the three singing, and pitches in his own verse while he slowly slunk behind the open door of the room. Believing that Light sang "gave to me" instead of killing, he sings:
"On the 12th day of Christmas Misa gave to me, twelve canes of candy…"
"Geez…he probably didn't hear what I was singing, so that's good…" Light thought.
"Haha, he almost caught Light saying 'Misa killed for me'. What fun," Ryuk thought, too.
Twelve canes of candy, eleven apple jackers, ten stalker fan boys, nine arsonists, eight mafia members, seven wedding crashers, six teens a-stealin'
"FIVE DE----TECT----IVES!!!!!" Ryuzaki shouted oddly. He was still standing outside the room, and Light, Misa, and Ryuk smiled at the genius who droned out the lyrics.
Four drug dealers, three child rapists, two pairs of burglars…
…AND A MURDERER ON…DEATH…ROW!!!!
The three carolers stopped their singing, and L clapped slowly. "Well, done, Light. Now, would you like to cease your moment of song and help lead the Kira case again?"
Light sighed deeply, got up and straightened himself, and put on his serious detective face. "Let's do it."
A/N: I hope you liked this story! Yes, I couldn't think of other words to fit in with the song…and so I did include a lot of criminals who were like…stealing people. Sorry about that. Merry Christmas, and happy holidays for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas! Much Looove! Oh, and review, please! I likey reviews...and accept any kind.