Christmas Pie

A/N: It's almost Christmas and it's my favourite holiday so I'm going to type a short story about it! This thing will only be like three-four chapters long. Maybe two so yeah. Hope you enjoy!

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It was a time for joy, time for laughs, time for parties and most of all, time for presents! Kagome smiled happily as she made her way towards the Bone-Eater's Well. Christmas was coming soon and she absolutely adored it! She loved how it always gave you a warm feeling inside and how merry people seemed as they sang carols. Nothing was going to bring her down in this holiday! Even school was out! She just needed to ask Inuyasha if she could have Christmas day off and she'd be in candy-cane heaven!

With a wide yet slightly creepy smile, Kagome made her way through the falling snow and into the mini-shrine. She opened the doors enthusiastically and closed it behind her. She walked up to the edge of the well and peered down. Her smile never left her face and it was getting kind of scary. Especially since the room was a bit dark and her teeth shined like a Chester cat's.

With a heave, Kagome hauled herself and her overly stuffed bag into the well and let the bright blue light consume her.

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Inuyasha sat on one of the branches of the Goshinboku. The snow had stopped falling a couple of hours ago but damn it, it was annoying Inuyasha! He glared heatedly at the snow below him, wishing it would melt under his gaze. But it wouldn't, much to Inuyasha's frustration. He hated this kind of weather. It dampened his senses and snow was basically rain except colder and more lingering!

He hopped down from the tree and was satisfied when he heard the crunch of snow below his feet. Die snow, die! It had been snowing for three weeks straight and he was getting so tired of seeing white all day! 'Die you pieces of shit!' he cursed as he continued to stomp on the ankle high snow. 'That'll teach you to try and weaken me!'

Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch. That was the rhythm of his feet as he stomped on the snow, leaving his footmarks wherever he went. 'Damn you! Why won't you just die?!' Inuyasha cursed angrily as he began to slash at the snow, making the white flakes come up and float like a snow globe around him.

'Jeez! Get a hold of yourself man!' his conscience chimed irritatingly. 'Not even Tetsusaiga could get rid of all this snow!'

Suddenly, Inuyasha stopped. His conscience smirked at this. 'Finally realized how stupidly you were acting?' it mocked.

But Inuyasha didn't seem to hear it as a smirk played on his lips. "The Tetsusaiga!" he yelled out loud as he pulled the said sword out. It immediately transformed to its great steel fang.

'Whoa, whoa, WHOA!' his conscience yelled. 'What the hell are you planning to do with THAT?!'

"I'm going to get rid of the snow!" he replied out loud as he pulled the sword back.

'What are you?! Mentally deranged?! Inuyasha no baka! Don't do it you freaking ass-'

But it was too late as Inuyasha brought down the sword saying: "Wind Scar!" The demonic energy escaped through the sword and headed straight forwards. On its journey it melted a lot of snow in its wake. Inuyasha smirked with great pleasure because of this.

'Stop smirking you baka!' his conscience sounded angry. 'Now look what the fuck you did!'

Inuyasha scanned the area for what his conscience was complaining about. He saw nothing of particular interest. 'What?' he asked with confusion.

'The freaking trees! You hit some of the trees!' it whined.

His golden eyes followed Tetsusaiga's destructive path and saw the one or two trees that were destroyed. He sweat dropped. 'Why the hell should I care about a few stupid-' but his thoughts were interrupted as a familiar scent reached his numb nose. It was Kagome.

He quickly made his way towards the well and sure enough, Kagome was there just lifting herself up from the brim of the well. She looked up and saw him. She didn't smile at him because her smile was already there, practically glued onto her face. Inuyasha was a little taken back by her freaky smile. "K-Kagome?" he asked unsure.

Kagome heaved herself up and landed on the snow with a scrunch. She looked down towards the sound and her eyes twinkled with childish delight. Her head snapped right up and Inuyasha almost stepped back by the creepy look in her eyes. "Hey, what's wrong wench?" he asked uncomfortably.

She didn't seem to faze at her rude nickname. She approached Inuyasha merrily, a bounce in her step. Inuyasha fought every urge in his body not to step back and run away. "Nothing's wrong!" Kagome said with a huge smile. Dear gosh, if she continued to smile that when the wind picked up, her face would remain like that forever. I'm sure anyone would want that to happen.

Still cautious, Inuyasha sniffed her. It was Kagome all right but what was the matter with her? He looked at her again and this time at her wide smile. He felt himself frowning. 'Man! That's like one of those creepy smiles I saw in one of her 'horror movie' thingies!' he said to himself. "Oi wench!" he said a little too loudly. "Could you quit smiling like that?"

But she didn't as she walked/skipped her way past Inuyasha and to the direction of Kaede's hut. All the while seeing 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' in a very loud yet happy voice.

Inuyasha just stared after her. What in the devils hell was wrong with that wench? 'I think she's finally cracked under your stupidness.' His conscience suggested.

He inwardly growled at… well… himself. 'What the hell is that supposed to mean?'

'It means that she couldn't take the pressure from you anymore. You were so stupid that it drove her nuts.' His conscience said very slowly as if talking to a mentally ill child.

'Hey!' he growled inwardly. 'You're the baka! You're the baka!'

His conscience rolled his eyes. 'If I really were stupid, Inuyasha, then you didn't even have a chance in this world. You'd end up dead eating poison ivy or something.'

'What's poison ivy?' Inuyasha asked curiously.

'…… I should really consider getting another job.'

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"Kagome-chan!" Shippo practically screamed as he enveloped Kagome in a large yet small hug as soon as she entered the hut. It was way warmer inside the hut but Kagome didn't even realize it was cold outside. "Kagome-chan, did you get more ninja food?" Shippo asked as he stared up.

Kagome looked down at him with that freaky smile of hers. Seeing it made Shippo jump out of her hands and hop behind Miroku's shoulder a little bit scared. Kagome didn't mind though as she continued to smile at the little group. It was like someone put a permanent mask on her or something. "Um, Kagome-sama? Is there something going on to cause your…" Miroku paused for a bit as he contemplated what Kagome was feeling. "Happy." He said a little hesitantly, also getting slightly nervous by her smile. "State?" He finished.

Kagome's smile, if possible, grew even wider and everyone cringed inwardly. "Yes!" Kagome said cheerfully as she put her bag down in front of her. "It's going to be Christmas soon and I got you all presents!" she said happily as she knelt down and unzipped her bag.

"Christmas?" Sango asked curiously. She's never heard such a word. Was it some sort of food festival?

No later did Inuyasha walk into the hut with a very pissed off look on his face. Throughout the entire argument his conscience kept on beating him. It made Inuyasha feel stupid. 'Because you ARE stupid,' the smug conscience interrupted.

"Oh just give it a rest would ya?!" Inuyasha yelled out loud which was rewarded by many curious stares that asked 'Are you retarded or something?' Inuyasha glared at them in return. He was in a really pissed mood and they were not helping it one bit. "WHAT?!" he practically screamed and all eyes turned back to Kagome fearfully.

He plopped down and crossed his arms the trademark way, all the while stares followed him. He looked towards Kagome and saw that her smile was still in place. It was officially creeping and pissing him off. "I said would you please wipe that smile off ya face?" Inuyasha growled angrily at her.

And yet, Kagome's smile never left her face for even a moment. Even her eyes didn't even look different. She turned back to her bag and rummaged through it, looking for the presents she had so thoughtfully packed earlier. Shippo leaned over Miroku's shoulder, getting a little bit curious.

"HA!" Kagome suddenly yelled and the group nearly fell back in shock. With a blinding smile Kagome got out one neatly wrapped gift with a blue ribbon. "Shippo-chan!" Kagome said as she held out the small gift. "Merry Christmas!" she said.

At the sight of the small present, Shippo's face broke into a large grin much like Kagome's as his eyes filled up with excited stars. Lol. "Really?" he asked with glee. "That's for me??"

Kagome nodded and threw him the present. Shippo caught it easily and literally shredded the wrapping paper off. His eyes widened with unsuppressed joy as he squealed in gratefulness. It was three large boxes full of… "POKEY!!!" Shippo exclaimed happily as he hugged Kagome tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" Shippo said with tears in his eyes. This was the happiest day of his life!

Kagome watched with growing satisfaction as Shippo quickly went outside and came back inside with only one pokey box. "I'm going to save it!" he said rationally.

Sango smiled at the child's happiness but made a questioning look at Kagome. "Kagome-chan… Why are you giving out presents?" she asked.

"Christmas is a time where people in my era would give presents to one another." Kagome explained with a sweet smile, not as scary as before. Just a small, nice smile that didn't freak people out. "Then a jolly old fat guy comes down people's chimney's and puts presents under a large tree while he eats cookies and milk!" It technically wasn't Christmas until a few days but Kagome didn't bother mentioning that part.

She rummaged through her bag again and pulled out three more presents. She tossed them to Miroku, Sango and Inuyasha. She got another present out and tossed it Kirara. Kaede's present had to wait since she was currently somewhere else. Don't make me tell you where cause I couldn't be bothered.

Miroku opened his present and it revealed a black and purple cap with the words 'MIROKU' etched in silver in front. Sango had a plush toy of a kitten that looked very much like Kirara. Said neko opened, after a lot of frustration since she didn't have thumbs, or fingers for that matter, her present to reveal the oh-so loved catnip.

They all said their thanks to Kagome except for Inuyasha. They all turned and saw that Inuyasha hasn't even opened his present. "Come on Inuyasha! I can't wait to see what it looks like on you!" she exclaimed happily.

Inuyasha hesitantly tore off the red (what else?) wrapping paper and pulled out a black shirt saying 'You know, the funny thing about this shirt is: By the time you start reading this, it'll be too late to stop and find out that there's really nothing funny about this shirt at all. You idiot.' The words started out big at first but it slowly began to shrink with the last part being the smallest. (I just love that shirt! I wanted to buy it but I didn't have any money! -cries-)

Inuyasha read it over and so did the others. Everyone smiled at it because it was oh-so funny! Laugh here now! "What the hell?" Inuyasha said angrily. 'See?' his conscience said smugly. 'Even that shirt says you're a baka. Just give it up. You're outnumbered.'

Ignoring Inuyasha's fierce look, Kagome stared happily at him with a hopeful expression. "So, um, Inuyasha, since Christmas is also a time for your family and rest. Do you mind if I ask you a question?" she asked a little nervously.

The hanyou stared at her for a moment suspiciously as he put the t-shirt down. "What kind of question? Inuyasha asked warily.

Kagome cleared her throat and stared at Inuyasha straight in the eye, her confident smile plastered on her face. "Can I have a week off so I can spend Christmas time with my family?" she asked sweetly.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. A few seconds went by in utter silence until Inuyasha returned her sweet smile with a kind face. With the kind look still on his face and the ever-so sweet smile on he replied. "Hell no."

It was then that Kagome's smile disappeared completely. Inuyasha inwardly cringed. 'Oh well. Her angry face is way better than that happy face anyway.' He thought in his mind.

'Of course it was in his mind!' his conscience argued with me. 'Where else would he think?'

The author of this story decided to choke Inuyasha's conscience, leaving him silent for a long, long time. Inuyasha blank. I will make him forget about the last few lines.

Kagome glared at him angrily, all the Christmas cheer was wiped of her face. "What?!" she practically screamed. "Why? You can't keep me here in such an important day Inuyasha!" she argued heatedly.

"Oh yes I can." Inuyasha snapped. "We have no time for you to go rest and give out presents to every person you see! In case you haven't noticed, Naraku is still out there killing thousands of people and the jewel isn't even nearly complete yet! We need to get a move on or Naraku will take over the entire region! You cannot have a week off and that's final!" he growled.

The miko glared at the hanyou with such ferocity that the entire room started to boil mentally. She stood up abruptly and lifted her zipped bag onto her shoulders. "I don't even know why I bothered asking you!" she yelled angrily at him. Right now, Inuyasha felt really small. She began to stomp her way towards the door, giving Inuyasha the grace of glancing back. "I'm going to celebrate Christmas and there's nothing you could do to stop me." she glanced over her other shoulder and smiled sweetly at the others. "Merry Christmas everyone!" she said merrily as she slammed the door closed.

The group was left inside the now awkward room just staring at the abused door. It seemed to cry: 'Why does she have to take out all her frustrations on me?!' it said silently.

A few seconds went by before Kagome's soft crunching of the snow was no where to be heard. "Well, that was a bit freaky." Shippo suddenly stated, breaking the very, very tense silence.

Inuyasha also stood up and glared angrily at the door. "If she thinks she could just walk out on me she is deathly wrong!" he yelled curiously as he slammed the door open and slammed it shut behind him as he exited the hut.

The door seemed to cry out again. 'Why does everyone like to abuse the door?! I'm a useful and a very liked object! I should have a little bit more respect and consideration here!'

Miroku sighed. "Maybe that's because you're an inanimate object. Because of that others seem to think that they could take advantage of you." He answered the door out loud.

Sango nodded in agreement as she stared at the door seriously. "No one cares if they damage you. We could always replace you with a better and stronger wooden door." She said bluntly.

The door stared at them in shock. 'I-I'll be good.' It squeaked quietly, retreating to its silent and non-talking state.

Shippo's head snapped back and forth between the three, sucking on his little pokey stick. No, he did not think this was strange at all. Once he saw an ordinary, non-demon snail take on a demon cupcake (who tried to rule the world) and win. After that, he thought anything was possible.

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Kagome stormed towards the well. Darn that Inuyasha! Why couldn't he just see things her way for once?! All the way she was grumbling under her breath about 'idiotic morons' and 'I wonder what mum's cooking tonight'. She treaded through the snow and looked up ahead of her. She started repeating the same sentence over and over again.

"Once I turn eighteen I will move to Alaska. Once I turn eighteen I will move to Alaska. Once I turn eighteen I will move to Alaska. Once I turn eighteen I WILL move to ALASKA!!" she yelled angrily.

"Oi! Wench! Where do you think you're going?!" a familiar, unwelcome voice shouted at her.

Kagome stopped dead in her tracks, thinking the only thing that will hold her temper. 'Sailor Moon is going to save me one day. Sailor Moon is going to save me one day.' She thought through clenched teeth. If only anime was true. She would sic Sailor Moon on Inuyasha and have her blast him to space!

Very slowly, Kagome turned around to face the tempered hanyou. "What. Do. You. Want." Kagome growled as she bit out every word.

Inuyasha crossed his arms as he stood a few meters away from her. "I want you to stay here so you could detect the jewel shards for me, what else?" he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Kagome almost let out a frustrated scream. She breathed in and out very slowly, her small, tainted fantasies swimming in her mind. Inuyasha stared at her skeptically as she continued to breathe. "What are you doing, bitch? You don't need to breathe that much. You look like a very ugly fish doing that. And believe me when I say Agul-aiY." Inuyasha smirked, purposely saying the word retarded-ly.

Breathe in. Breathe out. 'Calm Kagome. You're going Alaska in a few years time so you'd be as far away from him as possible. An imaginary anime character will pop out and obliterate him. Just breathe. Everything will turn out fine…' "OSWUARI!!" she suddenly yelled. 'Yeah, once I freaking make it fine!'

THUD

After the effects of the spell wore off Inuyasha spat out the cold, melting snow that was stuffed up his nose and mouth. He sneezed violently and glared at the retreating figure of her back. "Get back here!" he yelled, still on the ground. But it was too late as she hopped into the well as was enveloped in a bright blue light.

Inuyasha was about to get up and run after her before his conscience intervened. 'Hey! Wait a moment!' it screamed. Inuyasha obliged reluctantly. There was a pause before it started talking/thinking again. 'That's damn good snow you just tasted. Do it again.'

Confused, Inuyasha stared at the melting snow below him. He carefully poked his tongue out and took a doggy lap at the white fluff. He retreated back in disgust as he spat the water-that-was-once-snow out. 'Bah! That was foul! What made you like it you nut?!' he growled.

But his conscience seemed to sigh in bliss. 'Wow. I've never felt anything like this before. It's so disgusting and yet I want more. Get more Inuyasha. I need more. Get more. Now Inuyasha. Inuyasha. Get more now. I want some more. NOW Inuyasha!' his conscience yelled with a slightly raved tone.

'No freaking way!' Inuyasha growled at it. 'What are you, fucking insane?! I'm not going to lick that rubbish again! I hate snow!' he proclaimed.

But his conscience didn't want any of it. 'Inuyasha! Get it now! Do it NOW you dog! Lick it! Come on! I NEED some NOW!'

'I said no freaking way!'

'DO IT NOW YOU IGNORANT BASTARD!!' his conscience roared. 'I FREAKING NEED MORE SNOW! DAMN IT GIVE IT UP YOU SELFSIH BITCH!' it raged angrily, sounding like a possessed demon.

Slowly, Inuyasha began to have a headache as he stood up from his current position. Ignoring his conscience's pleads and yells he made his way to the well. 'Hell.' He thought bitterly. 'I have a pissed off wench to deal with and now a drug addict. Jeez, help me.' he pleaded as he jumped down the well.

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A/N: I'm going to continue this short fic. I'll see you there and I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review either! Bye!