Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. And if I did, Sasuke would already be back and walking and breathing in Konoha beside Naruto and Sakura and he'll never join ----- and -------. (That is, if I did own Naruto, to which I said I didn't)

Author's Note: I'm sooo sorry for updating this late, but this was the only time I felt inspired and giddy about writing. I'm not sure about those writer's block things, it's more of a writer's determination? And college is really hectic and I'm wistfully staring at my Algebra homework now and thinking about the Chemistry books that's waiting upstairs. But never mind… there's still four days to go anyway…hehe

A Kunai To His Almighty Ego… and Heart

Chapter 3

"Naruto, can't we go somewhere other than Ichiraku?" Sakura asked hopefully.

"N-…"

"…" Sasuke turned to look at the usually noisy Naruto.

Naruto had stopped walking and appeared to be hunched over deep in his thoughts.

'What's the do'be thinking about? That is, if he is capable of thinking.' Sasuke-chibi asked.

'I don't particularly have a liking to the absurd thoughts that cross the do'be's mind and as the voice-in-my-head, you shouldn't care an --- about it too.'

Sasuke and Sakura continued to wait for the obviously-in-pain-just because-he's-thinking Naruto.

'Naruto has got to be kidding us…' Sasuke thought to himself.

"Um… Naruto?" Sakura asked timidly, prodding Naruto with an anxious finger.

Naruto continued to think about his algebra muttering something inaudible to the human ears, "If I said Yes, it would mean… if I said No, then the…"

"YOSH!!!!"

Sakura immediately jumped back, "Eek!" and clung onto Sasuke's arms.

Which Sasuke, unusually, didn't shrug off.

Seconds later, Sakura got hold of herself and brushed off imaginary lint on her clothes, "Mou, Naruto! You startled me! Sorry Sasuke, I won't do that again, I promise…"

At that statement, chibi-Sasuke bawled over and cried his eyes out.

"Eh?" Naruto turned to look at his blushing team mates.

Being Naruto at his normal mode, he didn't notice anything out of place.

"Hey, why are the two of you as red as Sasuke's tomatoes? It isn't that hot, is it?"

Sasuke was quick to retort a believable explanation, "Hn…"

Sakura just said, "But it is hot Naruto, maybe years of not washing the dirt off your clothes made it heat resistant."

"Ah, thanks Sakura-chan…"

"---?" Sakura chose to ignore the idiocy…

"Ano… Sakura-chan, I can treat you to shops other than ramen-…"

"Ooohh! Really! Where!?! Where!?!"

"On one condition, actually…"

"Anything other than ramen, I was getting flabby by the hips without missions to burn all those ramen fats off."

"Well, I'll treat you at the barbecue shop if you tell me and Sasuke-teme what the ugly obaa-chan summoned you to the Hokage's Tower for… Ah, is that alright?"

Sasuke hid his surprise, 'So the do'be was really capable of thinking?'

'Well, seeing as he has a higher percent of asking Sakura about the meeting than you do, then it's actually lucky that he thought about it for your benefit,' his chibi let the disappointment show in his words.

"Um, it was really embarrassing actually…hehe" Sakura laughed an unconvincing sheepish laugh.

"We won't laugh! Promise Sakura-chan!" Naruto stopped from his walking to turn towards Sasuke who was walking behind him (listening intently, I might add), "Right teme!?!"

"Hn…"

Naruto walked again beside Sakura, even ignoring the Ichiraku stand which was standing at the side of the road. They continued to walk towards the street where the barbecue shop that Team 10 always went to was situated.

"Well?" Naruto prodded on.

Sasuke walked faster so he was now on the other side of Sakura, the side that still wasn't Naruto-contaminated. The people who passed by them smiled secretly. Finally, after years of just seeing two 'kids' walking together (which was unusual since everyone, even civilians, knew that a team consisted of three 'kids') they could now see that Team 7 was a three-man cell again. And they could clearly see the joy the other two members felt, despite how hard they tried not to show it, since ninja were not supposed to show emotion. Shame if even civilians could read your emotions like an open book. But at least that didn't apply to a certain raven-haired 'kid'. No one could ever say that and live to tell the story of how he got 'tsukoyomi-ed' by someone who had chicken-butt hair. But really, he should feel honored if he got the chance to get 'tsukoyomi-ed' by the Uchiha genius, other much, much stronger ninjas just got annihilated by a katana, not by the almighty eyes. But then, someone clearly said he uses his 'eyes' as a sign of mercy.

Ahem, back to the three-man cell, Team 7.

So Naruto was on Sakura's left side, still persuading her. Sakura was at the center (spotlight and/or center of attention) still laughing sheepishly and scratching the back of her head uncharacteristically. And Sasuke was on Sakura's right side, walking with grace and poise (unlike his female teammate who was hunched over and laughing in a un-lady-like way) while his eyes (yes, his merciful eyes) watched the conversation.

People parted, much like the Red Sea when Moses showed up, when they saw the three Newly Dubbed Legendary Sannin walk by.

They took no notice of this however as they continued their way towards the barbecue shop.

"Pinky promise you won't tell?"

"I could do a pinky promise, but I'm not sure about the teme."

"Oh, I know he won't tell Naruto. Nothing ever escapes the confines of his lips, like a jail cell or something?" Sakura innocently pointed out.

Sasuke smoothed out the annoyed tick that was showing on his forehead.

The three of them turned at the corner and faced the barbecue stand.

"It wasn't only me and Tsunade-shishou in there, actually, the Kazekage and the Sand people were there too", Sakura started talking.

Naruto was so into it that he even let Sasuke (who was trying hard not to stare at Sakura with a child-listening-to-his-mom-telling-stories look) lead him and Sakura inside the eatery and make sure that he was seated far away from something breakable. Only then did Sasuke finally deem it safe and secure before finally letting himself mull over the things Sakura was babbling about. She was still around the part where she was walking towards the Hokage's Office and all that nervous girly feelings stuff.

"So I thought that I really had no choice because it was Tsunade-shishou that had called me. I knocked on the doors and Tsunade's voice rang out, 'Enter', so I went in and saw shishou seated at the desk and beside her stood the Kazekage, while Kakashi-sensei crouched by the window," Sakura narrated.

'Is it just me, or is this more like a girls' night-out?' chibi-Sasuke butted in. Sasuke couldn't help but agree with him for once.

"There were charts all around the office actually-

"WHAT CHARTS?!?!! I NEVER SAW ANY-

"Sasuke! The Hospital has enough casualties regarding the Sharingan to last it a lifetime you know!"

"Hn…"

Naruto tried to whisper menacingly (well, as close to a whisper as he could manage) "Teme!.."

"Do'be.." Sasuke replied under his breath.

"Anyway, there were charts of different wedding gowns and frilly dresses for formal occasions,"

"WHAT!!!!!!!!", and there was no Sharingan to stop him this time.

"Yes!" Sakura gushed giddily, "It's nice isn't it? A change of scenery for Tsunade-shishou's office! And they were such love-

"Save it for Yamanaka, Sakura…"

"-Ahem-," Sakura adjusted herself, "Well, there is going to be a wedding, that's for sure!"

Naruto gulped and asked the question Sasuke would've if only he had the voice fit for the role, "Wh-when?", he croaked.

"Uhm, I think it's gonna be a week from now? They've been preparing for it for quite some time and I was so shocked that they didn't tell me earlier. But they assured me I've got nothing to worry about because they've already finalized everything and the only thing that's left is for the people invited to arrive," Sakura said merrily.

"Wh-what?" Naruto was still croaking in that froggy-voice.

And Sasuke was staring solemnly like a monk at his Buddha.

"I'm so excited! I've been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl! And Tsunade-shishou said there would be lots of-----

Sasuke had tuned out Sakura's babbling to give more attention to a much more pressing 'thinking-over' going inside his head. He turned to look at Naruto. It seemed like he was thinking along the same lines like Sasuke, only, it looked like he was hurting himself with all the thinking he's made his brain work with.

Well, it was time that he himself think about the situation at hand,

'Oi, Sasuke…'

'What do you want now?'

'I've been thinking-

'Hn…'

'Was that a sarcastic hn?'

'Aa…'

'I'll let that pitiful attempt at a comment slide. Anyway, have you ever heard of the words, 'sexual tension'?'

'Hn!?! –ahem- Hn… Of course, that's what feudal lord missions are all about…'

'Ew! Pervert daimyos! Anyway, just look at Sakura for a moment…'

Sasuke drowned out his chibi's annoying voice (which suspiciously sounded like his own) and turned to look at his animatedly talking female teammate –minus the blond who was listening intently like a drooling dog hanging unto her every word- wait! Was that the idiot's arm on Sakura's shoulders? Why he!-

'Ahem, focus, Sasuke, foucus…'

Time stopped. Everything around Sakura blurred and she was magically focused. She became the center-

'Yeah, yeah… And this is where I come in; Maestro! Slide one!'

(Warning: Hopefully successful attempt at a PG13?)

Sasuke was suddenly aware that his gaze lingered on her emerald eyes, sliding down to her cute nose, and to those glossy pink pouty lips. They looked so inviting that he could just imagine himself forgetting all inhibitions and-

'What are you doing!?!' Sasuke frantically screamed at his chibi.

'I'm just taking you to a short trip down a lesson called 'Sexual Awareness'. It's no big deal, really, coz' I've been thinking,' chibi-Sasuke continued as Sasuke's protests fell on deaf ears, 'people have been dubbing you as gay and aloof to the lures of the opposite sex. So, as a solution, I am going to psychologically altering your anatomical and physiological functions in order to attain my goal. Translation for your poor innocent mind, kicking up your hormones! At this rate, it'll only be a couple more hours until we can get your hormones to blast-off! Asta la vista, I'm going to terminate you, you're going to wish you were dead, Sasuke!'

'Do you have a grudge on me?'

'No-'

'Then are you done sprouting preposterous impossibilities?'

'Not quite,'

'If you are, as you say, as intelligent as I am, you wouldn't be sending me images of these-

'-highly arousing-'

'AHEM! These goose-bumps-inducing-in-a-bad-way situations and start helping me plan about ways of stopping that wedding!'

'But-but that's no fun!'

'This is my future goal we're talking about'

'…and Sakura has a part on that future right!?!'

Images of the so called –highly arousing- flashed through Sasuke's mind again and he was dangerously close to retching… in ecstasy? Which he probably was as Sakura took note of the sickly pallor of his paler than usual face.

"Sasuke-kun? Are you okay?" Sakura asked worriedly as she placed her hand on Sasuke's forehead.

'KUN!?! Is this one of the signs stated in the Book of Revelations!?!'

'My life is not documented in the Bible, idiot.'

'You don't deserve a chapter in the Bible, idiot-er'

Sauske didn' have as much vigor at arguing with his inner self (not that he had much to begin with) and found himself transfixed by the ethereal being before him.

He vaguely heard someone say 'how sappy' from far away. He was blushing profusely now in addition to his pale-greenish pallor and was added with a little blue out of being breathless-

'Class, guess what color it is now?'

Somehow, someone with a voice suspiciously like Naruto's anwered, "-orange!"

And with that single word, all the color drained from Sasuke's face.

"Let me check you out, Sasuke-kun…"

And all the red went back again.

'I never knew December was here already! Time for giving and taking!'

Sasuke stood rooted to the ground… or was it the clouds?

-how sappy part two-

His trained eyes took note of the innocently parted lips. Her eyes her eyes glanced up at him with an unanswered question in their depths. Worry was creasing her brows, which he desperately wanted to wipe away with a gentle kiss-

"Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?"

Sakura reached for his forehead and caressed it gently.

Sasuke was in heaven.

Sasuke's-chibi has just been promoted as the right foot of God.

"Leave him, Sakura-can. He's just fantasizing about you anyway. That's the look I have when I'm fantasizing about you too… Sasuke-teme! You evil fox!"

A satanic Naruto wearing an orange spandex and sporting an orange pitchfork suddenly appeared and speared chibi-Sasuke on the butt. And without further adieu, he was yanked down to earth to face his fears (or desires, if you want).

(Author's Note- All of you deserve extra pages for waiting for such an overdue/over late update)

'Sasuke…'

Sasuke ignored his inner self.

'SaSUke'

'Hn…'

'Don't you think we should get more information about the victim's situation before thinking about massive wedding domination? Or bride domination… If you get my drift…hehehe…'

Sasuke stubbornly shook his head.

'Don't you think we should check up on the place where our master plan would occur? Have blueprints or layouts of the building? Have drawings of the dresses? Ingredients of the cake? Anatomical charts of the doves or the bridesmaids? Reproductive aspect of the-'

Sasuke blocked out the rest. He couldn't help but agree that his chibi had a point. And if that was the case, he had no choice but to:

infiltrate enemy lines

trespass personal property

sneak into the battlefield (aka Hokage Tower when a certain Godaime was drunk)

sabotage soldiers (except pink-haired soldiers)

'You have to get Naruto and Lee to cooperate the genius way,'

"NOTE: NOT –and I repeat- NOT the moronic way! Am I clear!?!"

'Sir! Yes! Sir!'

'Wrong! You sissy chicken-ass! Am I crystal clear!?!'

'CRYSTAL CLEAR Sir!'

'With the flowers and candies?'

'Don't push it…'

And Sasuke-chibi logged off.

Sasuke stared.

And stared.

They were stillat the barbeque resto, and they were there an hour and a half ago. And after that hour and a half, they were still there.

'Is Naruto a freaking girl!?!'

…

'Oi! I know you're there'

…

'Hn… Annoying voice in my head?'

…

'Aa… this is getting freaky…'

…

'OI! Are you listening?'

…

'Aha! You're doing this on purpose right? Ahah! You're doing this so I would miss you and not call you annoying anymore right?'

..

'Hah! That won't work on me!'

…

'OI!'

…

'OI!'

…

'OI!'

(ooohhh… where was Sasuke-chibi now?)

(in the middle of nowhere)

Somewhere in a hollow expanse of a waste of brain matter, ther stood a little guy astounded by his environment.

He walked towards the walls of the vast hollow room, 'Ew! Ramen strands for neurons?'

In great horror he looked around and saw to his additional great horror, the left hemisphere of the brain marked as MISO and the right hemisphere marked as CHICKEN, BEEF, and PORK.

An additional additional horror, the hypothalamus was nowhere in sight.

An additional additional additional horror, so were the thalamus, cerebellum, and cerebrum.

'How does he think?- in pain, most probably…'

Something kicked him on the leg.

"Hey! Who are you and what are you doing here?"

The little guy looked down and saw an orange blob aggressively trying to kick him again.

"I am an additional IQ points to the brain of this knucklehead."

The orange blob's face turned red orange, "Which knucklehead are you talking about, squirt!?! I'm the brain?"

Additional IQ points guy stared incredulously at the orange blob –still trying to kick- who claimed that it was classified as a brain, "You're kidding with me, aren't you? Poor human…"

"Am not, bastard! What's wrong with me being a brain, huh?"

IQ guy held up his hands and said,

"One, you are definitely not the average brain size,

Two, you are most definitely not the average brain size,

Three, you are definitely-est not the average brain size…"

There was a five-second interval before,

"Was that an insult?... Why I oughta-"

IQ guy rolled his eyes, "Shut your membrane and diffuse what I'm about to say,"

IQ guy conjured a chalk board seemingly from nowhere and started to put some acceptable documents in Naruto's brain.

Author's Note: I cant promise anything but I really need some help/suggestions in where this story should go…. Please???? Comments???

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR...

MABUHAY!!!

and yeah i know, too much sasuke thinking lines...