Author's Note: Okay. Here's another chapter fic. There will be a lot less OOCness in this fic. In fact, there hardly will be any OOCness. Now, I was originally planning to not release this fic because I was already working on Everybody's Favorite, but ideas for this story kept on popping up in my mind :O So, I decided to publish this fic. Now, I know "Smarticans" is extremely, extremely corny and all, but I couldn't think of anything else that fit better. Constructive criticism is welcome, flames are not, but if you want to comment on how corny the names are in this fic, knock yourself out. Well, either way, enjoy :)
Note: The sentences/paragraphs in italics is Rukia speaking. She will be the primary commentary of this fic.
Important Note: Now, notice that this fic is labeled as "Humor/Romance". Humor, no problem. Romance, problem. While I have all the basic plot ideas for this fic in my head, I have no ideas for the romance---it's like I have some romance writer's block. Sad, I know. That is why I'm gonna ask my lovely readers---yes, that would be you, to pick the pairings, and I will work it out. So, if you would, just PM me or review to tell me your pairing idea. If it's alright, no Yaoi or Yuri pairings. Crazy pairings like YumichikaxMatsumoto or TatsukixHisagi are fine, but no Yaoi or Yuri. Thanks :)
Disclaimer: Everything Bleach-related belongs to Tite Kubo.
Okay, okay. So let's get this shit on the road. First off, some introductions. I'm Rukia Kuchiki, a Japanese senior in Karakura High School. Yep, I'm a senior, seven-fucking-teen years old.
Rukia Kuchiki was irritated and tired. The bell signaling the beginning fifth period had just rang and she was, at this point, sick of school. Not that she was never NOT sick of school. She trudged through the hallways like she was walking through prison, angry with herself for being stupid enough to get caught by the police.
I'm an average girl, really---maybe a little too damn short for my age, but whatever. Either way, my point is, I'm just like any one of you ordinary teenagers---fucked up and trying to get through living hell---high school.
She entered the noisy classroom, and looked around before sitting in her seat. It was the typical before-class activity that went on every day---kids would be throwing paper balls at each other, trying out different paper airplanes, and copying homework. The teacher, Ishiyama-sensei, entered and sat at his wooden desk. He ignored the noisy students---for now. Instead, he just took out his folders and files and began to prepare for his class.
I honestly hope for the day when people's lives don't revolve around colleges and school and those other crap, but that seems a long, far way off. Unfortunately.
Rukia slumped over and laid her head on her desk. It was going to be a long period, and she hated history class the most. It was her worst subject, and her teacher, Ishiyama-sensei, was strict with grading as hell. Rukia didn't know WHY she sucked so much at history. Maybe it was because she didn't give a shit about what happened in the past. But then again, Rukia sucked at every subject that came her way except for Japanese Language class.
You could call me sort of an outsider. I mean, I have no real friends---I don't have any real social skills and all. Nobody makes fun of me or anything, but I'm usually alone most of the time. Not that I cry about it. It kinda helps, being alone---you don't have to worry about picking up after other people's shit.
Rukia opened one eye slowly as the bell rang, and cursed. The stupid bell just basically told the entire school that class had begun. The only time Rukia liked the bell was when it rang to signal the end of class. At this, Ishiyama-sensei pushed his glasses up his nose, stood up, and said loudly, "Alright, class, the bell rang! Now get to your seats!" The students groaned and grumbled as they slowly returned to their seats as Ishiyama-sensei began to take attendance.
Basically, I'm a nobody. Nobody knows about me, nobody cares about me. I'm just someone "there" at school. But I don't blame them. I have no real talent, nothing that helps me "stand out". I mean, when my brother signed me up for piano lessons when I was eight, I couldn't press the damned piano keys because apparently, my fingers were "screwed up", according to the doctor. He's a quack, I swear.
Ishiyama-sensei slipped the attendance sheet into his folder, picked up a large envelope, and opened it. "Guess what's in here, class??? Why, it's your tests from last week! All graded and ready to be given back." Ishiyama-sensei smiled, taking out the tests in it. Some of the delinquents groaned, and some of the nerds looked anxious and some were even bright red and sweating, praying that they had gotten a perfect score, but Rukia just sat there, head on desk, already knowing what she got. An F.
Yeah...I'm not really smart, either. I basically fail every test that comes my way, and I usually get a D on my classes, surviving only on classwork and homework. The only subject I would never fail in is in Japanese class. Ancient Japanese and modern Japanese are a breeze to me. But not history. Especially not history. I suck at history more than I do at English. Just take a look at my test and you'll see.
Ishiyama-sensei came over to Rukia's desk, where she was still keeping her head on her desk. He said sternly, "Ahem...Kuchiki-kun, I suggest that if you have time to sleep in my class, you use that time to study."
Rukia sat up. In a tired voice, she replied, "Did I get an F or what?" She was too tired to care right now. Ishiyama-sensei just shook his head disapprovingly as he placed her test in front of her.
Rukia flipped over her test to see a bunch of little red x's marked on her paper. And up there, in the top right corner, was a big, ugly F.
Needless to say, I'm a dunce. A fucking dunce. I'm one of the dumbest kids in this whole school.
Rukia looked over at what she had gotten wrong. The entire test was on shit about Japan's feudal era and crap, and Rukia had flunked it. She saw one of Ishiyama-sensei's comments, which read, "Kuchiki-kun, saying that samurai should have used rifles instead of their swords is bad reasoning."
Rukia rolled her eyes. 'No,' she thought, 'The only ones with bad reasoning were the samurai. I mean, with a rifle, you kill so much...faster.'
So there you have it. Rukia Kuchiki, 17 years old, Japanese midget, total idiot. TOTAL idiot. Yes, my life sucks.
Rukia sighed. She knew it. She would never pass a history test in her life. But there was something next to the F. She looked a little closer, and saw that Ishiyama-sensei had written "see me after class" on it. Huh. Weird. He never did this before. Just what could the guy possibly want?
The bell rang, and Rukia jumped from her seat. She picked up her practically empty and flat black bag and was ready to rush out the door and bless the Lord for ending history class, but remembered she had to go see Ishiyama-sensei. Rukia rolled her eyes and slowly made her way to Ishiyama-sensei's desk. She also noticed that five other kids in her history class stayed behind, too. Some red-haired guy, a strawberry blonde, a black-haired guy, a black-haired girl, and a girly-looking guy. She squinted her eyes. Who were they again?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think it's time for a little rewind. Rewind, rewind!
Okay. Let's start from all the way from the right, back to the red-haired guy. He's the guy who's always throwing paper balls around. He's weird, he's loud, he's obnoxious, but, eh, he isn't all bad. He's Renji Abarai, a fellow delinquent. I've only seen him in history class three times this entire month, and believe me, I'm pretty sure his absence is not for a good cause.
Let's move on. Double D chest, strawberry blonde. She's a real beauty, popular with the boys, and has a good fashion sense, but loves gossip and having TOO much fun. She's nice and all, I gotta admit, but sometimes, she can be a little wild. She's more of the popular girl, but she's a nice popular girl. There are some nasty rumors about what she does when she drinks alcohol, though...her name was, what was it again? Oh, yeah. Rangiku Matsumoto.
Next failure in life. He's got spiky black hair, he's a total punk-style guy, and he hangs around with Renji too much. He's obnoxious and sarcastic, but he's alright. The only thing wrong with him is that he's just as perverted as most guys. And that includes Renji. The punk's name is Shuuhei Hisagi. He also apparently has this little crush on Rangiku, but who cares?
Let's keep it going. Alright, right here is the school's strongest girl, Tatsuki Arisawa. Spiky black hair, tomboy, blah blah blah. You get my point. She's real good at karate, but in her case, it's definitely brawn over brain. She has a bad temper and is the best friend of one of the smart kids, Orihime Inoue.
And finally, the girly guy who I always thought was gay, but he turned out to be, well, shockingly straight. He's this guy into "beauty" and "fashion" and shit, I don't know. I always stayed away from him---too scared to go near him. I swear, this kid is such a girl---I think there was a mistake in the gender department when he was created. And the name of this girly man is...dun dun dun, Yumichika Ayasegawa. Whoo hoo hoo.
Ishiyama-sensei looked at all the students at his desk with a serious expression. "Alright, kids. I'm guessing that you're wondering why you're here." "Actually, sir, I'm late for my next class---lunch. Can we have this meeting some other time?" Renji spoke up. "Quiet, Abarai!" Ishiyama-sensei snapped, and Renji scowled, but he shut up. Ishiyama-sensei returned his focus to the rest of the students at his desk.
"You six are the six students with the lowest scores in this class---no, the entire school." Ishiyama-sensei began.
"We are? Gee, Ishiyama-sensei, what did we do to deserve THAT?" Shuuhei asked sarcastically.
Ishiyama-sensei glared at him, but continued, "So, your teachers, including myself, have decided that your low scores have got to improve. We KNOW you six don't study."
The six students looked at their feet guiltily, knowing the truth of that statement. "I feel that you all should know your overall, current averages---and yes, I will say it in front of you. Does anyone have any problems with that? ...No? Alright, then. Starting with Arisawa---you have the highest score among these six---you got a 69.95."
Tatsuki looked a little pleased with herself as Renji and Shuuhei sneered, "NEEEERRRRDDDD."
Tatsuki gave them a death glare while they just snickered in response as Ishiyama-sensei continued, "Next, Yumichika Ayasegawa. You have a 69.01."
Yumichika just shrugged a little girly shrug, and Rukia stepped away from him. Ugh.
"Next, Renji Abarai. You have a 67.26." Ishiyama-sensei said.
Renji replied, "Okay. Can I go now?" Ishiyama-sensei gave him a look, and turned to Rangiku, "Rangiku Matsumoto? You have a 67.04."
Rangiku nodded, "I improved...by 0.02 points."
"That's not something to be proud of, Matsumoto...okay, next up, with 66.98, is Shuuhei Hisagi." Ishiyama-sensei said, looking at Shuuhei.
Shuuhei nodded, with an expression that said "I don't care".
Ishiyama-sensei then said, "And finally, the student with the lowest score of all..." He turned to look at Rukia, as did everybody else. "...Rukia Kuchiki, with a grade point average of 65.34." Ishiyama-sensei said, giving Rukia a stern look.
Now, Ishiyama-sensei's stern look is not your average teacher's stern look. As in stern look...I mean, THE stern look. That look where he furrows his eyebrows, but it ends up looking like some whacked up unibrow, his eyes all intense like he's on crack or something, his nose looks a little bigger than usual, and his mouth is just as straight as his damned unibrow. Whenever I see that "look" of Ishiyama-sensei, I can't draw a straight line. It comes out crooked.
"...Oh." was Rukia's reply.
Ishiyama-sensei, however, ignored her, and said, "As you can see, your grades are definitely not 'happy' grades. That is why we have formed a study group with just you six in it." They all groaned, but Ishiyama-sensei went on, "Every day, after school, for two hours, you six will remain in school and study with each other. Help each other improve. If you kids do not pull up your grades by at least three points by last marking period, you will not attend graduation or the prom...and you WILL be left back."
Everyone just stared at him with their mouths open, shocked. Was this really happening? "But, but---" Rangiku began. "Oh, and by the way, ALL of you must bring your averages up." Ishiyama-sensei said.
Rukia couldn't believe this. She was barely passing, and now, they expected her to bring her grade up by five points by last marking period?! Rukia could care less about the prom---screw the prom, but being left back and not graduating? No fucking way was she going to spend another damned year in this hellhole!
You had to understand, my family was an average class family, but note I said "was". After my parents died, it became just me and my brother. Now my older brother, Byakuya, works as a...oh, who cares. Anyway, it was sad and all, but it wasn't too bad. We aren't educationally pressured. That's why I don't give a shit if I become an honor rolls student or not or get rejected from Tokyo University or shit, but being left back? Ho ho ho, I sure care about THAT.
"You will start meeting today after school in the library. Any questions? No? Okay, dismissed. If you need a late pass, come over here, I'll write one up for you." Ishiyama-sensei said, and he stood up from his chair. It was about a minute after he stood up the kids started their way to him for their late passes. But they were speechless. Even Renji and Shuuhei weren't smirking. Rukia sighed and closed her eyes. F stands for "fuck" with a capital "F".
"...Wow, this is a really nice report, no wonder you got a hundred on it." a girl with her black hair tied up into a bun commented on a neatly stapled research paper, handing it back to a blonde-haired boy.
"Thanks, I worked hard on this one, it took me all night..." said the boy, taking it and carefully placing it in his folder.
"Ooh, you're so lucky you got a hundred, I got a ninety-seven..." said an auburn-haired girl.
"How come?" the blonde-haired boy questioned.
"She wrote imaginary shit about Egyptians---said that they worshiped tigers with horse tails and dragon wings." a tall, orange-haired boy answered, shaking his head.
"Ohh, but wouldn't it have been so neat if they did?" the auburn-haired girl smiled with a dreamy look in her eyes.
"Hmm...I could've done better with my explanation, in my opinion, but I received a hundred anyway." said a black-haired boy with glasses.
"Lemme see." said a spiky white-haired boy, and the boy with glasses handed his report to him.
Okay, okay, let's stop for just a second. I think you should know who THEY are. THEY are the "Smarticans". Corny, I know. That's why they're called that. Anyway, this after-school study group consists of the kids with the top six scores in the entire school. In other words, they're the geniuses, the smartasses, etc.
First off, sitting in the seat next to the psychology section of the library---the smartest guy in the entire school, the four-eyed sewing master, the "guy with black hair and glasses", Uryuu Ishida. He's always number one when the exam scores come out on the bulletin board, so he's a total nerd. I don't know. He can be a bit of an asshole, but he's not a bad guy. He's just too damned smart for his own good.
Right next to him, the short guy with spiky white hair---that's Toshirou Hitsugaya. A small kid with a big brain. A genius who skipped grades, he's the second smartest kid in the entire school. This lucky midget graduates this year---he's only fourteen. I heard he's a little quiet and more of the serious type, but he's okay. At least, that's what I heard. "He's okay". I heard that he has a height complex, though. Ugh, join the club, kid.
And over there, whoop, she just dropped her pencil---that's Momo Hinamori. She always has her black hair up in this bun. She's well-known because she's nice to just about everyone. If you ask me, Momo's a bit of a wallflower, but she's alright, she's nice. She's also pretty shy, but she's SMART---she's third smartest. She's also Toshirou's childhood friend, so I'm guessing the two are pretty close.
Moving straight on over to the girl next to Momo---Orihime Inoue. She's got this nice auburn-colored hair, pretty emerald green eyes, and ever since the first year of high school, she was nicknamed as "the boobs machine". I'm pretty sure you know why, but in case you don't, Orihime has a large bust. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say. But either way, she's fourth smartest, and she's actually really nice. Smart and nice. A little more open than Momo, but, eh. Her best friend is my fellow delinquent, Tatsuki Arisawa. They could be a brain-brawn team, or something like that, I don't know. But you know, Orihime? Hell, I don't know what's weirder---her taste in food, or her overactive imagination.
Okay, moving on---the boy with blonde hair. He's definitely a goody-goody---always sticking to the rules, always following the teacher's orders and crap. His name's Izuru Kira. He's SMART and all, but he can be a real wuss at times. I never really got to know him, except for this one time in sophomore year, during gym class, I accidentally hit his face with a basketball, and he burst into tears. Huh.
And last but not lea---oh, what am I saying. Who cares? His name is Ichigo Kurosaki, and he's the least smartest of the Smarticans, but, uhh, he's not stupid. He's still a smart guy. He stands out with his tall build and orange hair---a lot of people think he's a delinquent, but he's proved himself that he's not. I heard that he often got into fights, but, eh, those are just rumors. He's pretty well-mannered, but he's got a hot temper---I've seen him explode several times.
Yeah, well, those are the geniuses of Karakura High. Well, geniuses of Karakura High, get ready to meet the idiots of Karakura High. Yay.
Rukia entered the library with an annoyed expression on her face. She spotted Ishiyama-sensei standing at an empty, round table with six chairs. She went on over to the table. She noticed that at the opposite side of where the table was, there was the Smarticans' table. They seemed to be too engrossed in their grades and stuff to notice Rukia. "Ahh, good, Kuchiki-kun, I'm glad you decided not to skip out." Ishiyama-sensei said.
"Hey, what the...you never told us that you would be waiting for us." Rukia said accusingly.
"Yes, I know. Because only the kids who REALLY want to graduate are gonna come." Ishiyama-sensei answered.
All of a sudden, Renji and Shuuhei arrived, and when they saw Ishiyama-sensei, Shuuhei said to Renji, "I told you the bastard would be here."
Renji just shrugged as Ishiyama-sensei said dryly, "Well, boys, I'm glad you decided to join. Hurry on over."
Then, in came Rangiku Matsumoto on her cellphone, "So, yeah, I'm stuck in here for two hours...yeah, I know, it sucks. Sorry. Bye." She hung up her cellphone and stuck it in her handbag as she walked over to the table.
"Hello, Matsumoto-kun." Ishiyama-sensei greeted.
"...Hi." Rangiku said, though she didn't look too happy about being stuck in the library for two hours. A second later, Tatsuki Arisawa came in with a band-aid on her left cheek and holding a sheet of paper.
"Ahh, Arisawa-kun! Good to see you made it...with a dean's note." Ishiyama-sensei said.
"Some damned freshman was being an ass." Tatsuki explained as she walked over to the group.
Rukia noticed that the Smarticans were now looking over at the group that was forming at the table at the far end, looking rather curious. And finally, Yumichika entered the library, brushing himself off. "Ugh. Why the bathrooms in this school are so unorthodox and disgusting, I'll never understand." Yumichika grumbled as he walked over to the group.
Ishiyama-sensei looked impressed. "Well! All of you made it. I'm very glad that all of you wish to graduate. Now, sit." The students reluctantly sat at the table and Ishiyama-sensei explained, "Now, as you can see, the library has everything---a computer room, a reference book section, textbooks, etcera. I want you all to make full use of your time by studying with each other. Get to know each other. Help each other. And just to let you know, this is considered an actual class, and therefore, if you cut this class...well, let me just tell you, you won't have a happy ending."
The students gulped as he said that, fully knowing and understanding what he was saying. Ishiyama-sensei then said, "It's time for you kids to grow up. Start now." He then gave them a small smile, and left the library.
An awkward silence followed.
"...So." said Rangiku, looking around. "Why don't we, uhh, you know, introduce ourselves. 'Cause I don't know any of you. I'm Rangiku Matsumoto."
They all nodded, and Renji began, "I'm Renji Abarai."
"I'm Shuuhei Hisagi." Shuuhei said.
"I'm Tatsuki Arisawa." Tatsuki said.
Yumichika, who was examining his nails, said, "I am THE Yumichika Ayasegawa."
Everyone turned their eyes to Rukia, and Rukia said, "...Oh. I, I'm Rukia. Rukia Kuchiki."
Another awkward silence.
'Oh, man, just HOW are we gonna study?!' thought Rukia as everyone just looked at each other awkwardly and nervously.
"Hey, who are they?" Izuru asked, looking at the table at the far end.
"A study group?" Orihime suggested.
"Renji and Shuuhei? No way." Ichigo said.
"He's right, they wouldn't be here to study." Uryuu nodded.
"...Aren't those six the dunces of this school?" Toshirou commented, looking over at the students in the group.
"Huh, you're right...they were the six kids who got the lowest GPA's, right?" Izuru nodded.
"What are they doing here?" Momo wondered.
"Oh! Tatsuki-chan is in the group. I wonder if she's finally going to start studying?" Orihime smiled. The Smarticans just watched the strange newcomers at the other table, who looked bored out of their minds, by the way.
"Well, I did hear Ishiyama-sensei saying that he and some other teachers formed a study group for the six dumbest kids in this school." Izuru said.
"Really? So they're trapped here or something?" Momo asked.
"I think so." Izuru answered.
Uryuu sighed, "How sad. Well, it's their fault for not studying in the first place."
Orihime bit her lip. "Well, maybe they can't help it. Maybe it just doesn't get through, you know?"
"Then they're just wasting their time." Toshirou concluded.
"Still, you gotta feel bad for them. I heard that they couldn't graduate and would be left back if they didn't improve." Izuru said.
"Whoa. Sucks for them, huh?" Ichigo said.
Sucks is right. So right.
Back at the idiots' table. Rukia couldn't take the awkward silence any longer, and said, "Okay, so, uhh, we should get studying, right?" Everybody looked at her.
"Well, umm, I don't know. I'm only here 'cause I wanna go to the prom, you know?" Rangiku answered.
Tatsuki scoffed, "Tch...proms are ridiculous parties...for ridiculous girls."
Rangiku glared at Tatsuki, "Oh! And I suppose you're not an example of a ridiculous girl? I mean, what's with the hair? You look like you got electrocuted or something."
Tatsuki glared back at Rangiku, and Renji and Shuuhei, smirking, chanted, "Catfight! Catfight!"
"Ugh, you are all such filthy and ridiculous commoners...no beauty anywhere." Yumichika sniffed disapprovingly.
"Excuse me?" Rangiku snapped.
"Oh. Except for you, Matsumoto-san." Yumichika corrected himself.
"Oh, what do you know, you're a fricking girl!" Tatsuki hissed at him.
Renji and Shuuhei smirked and said, "OOOOHHHHH!!"
They looked at Yumichika to see his response. His face was beet red, and he sputtered, "Why, I never...!"
"You never what? You never knew your dick dropped when you were born???" Tatsuki snapped.
"OOOOHHHHHHH!!!" Renji and Shuuhei said again, laughing.
Rukia rolled her eyes. At this rate, they were definitely going to be remembered as Karakura's Official Retards.
"Hey. Hey! HEY!!" Rukia snapped. She had it. These kids were out of control, and the librarian was giving them nasty looks. One bad report, and they were finished. Her tablemates, surprised at Rukia's sudden outburst, turned to look at her. "Okay, listen, guys, we gotta get studying, or---" Rukia began.
"Oh, who cares? We failed. It's over for us." Shuuhei cut her off, shrugging.
Rukia glared at him, and snapped, "Well, if you give up, you fail. But you're NOT, so sit on your ass and listen!" Shuuhei looked startled at Rukia's response, but he obeyed. "Okay. Listen. We're all in the same boat here. We all have a reason for being here, or else we wouldn't be here. Right?" Rukia said.
"I want to go to the prom." Rangiku said.
"I don't wanna be left back." Tatsuki said.
"If I don't at least graduate, my parents are gonna ground me for life." Shuuhei said.
"I don't wanna be left back. That's it. Just like, uhh, karate girl." said Renji. Tatsuki raised an unamused eyebrow at "karate girl", but Renji just shrugged.
"Well, I'm only here because I do not wish to not graduate. I plan to wear one of my most splendid outfits at graduation, and I simply can NOT miss it." Yumichika said.
"You mean your WEDDING gown???" Tatsuki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
Before Yumichika could say anything, Rukia quickly said, "And I'm here because I don't wanna stay another year in this hellhole! So, let's do this, come on! Five points—that's all we need. We have two more marking periods to go---we can do this." The rest of the group seemed to be convinced by Rukia's words, and she went on, "We'll all graduate, okay? But for that to happen, we gotta work together. Alright?"
The group nodded. "Yeah, she's right." Rangiku said. "That's why, we should have a name for our study group." Everybody looked at Rangiku curiously.
"What name?" Rukia asked.
"Well, you know, like those smart people at the other table. They're called the Smarticans or some crap like that, right? So why don't we call ourselves...well, I don't know. The Great Ones?" Rangiku said. Yumichika seemed to like the idea, but Shuuhei, Renji, and Tatsuki all made a face of disgust.
"Well, it's just a thought..." Rangiku shrugged.
"Nothing stupid." Renji said.
"Yeah." Shuuhei agreed.
"...Okay. How about 'The Idiocracy'?" Rukia spoke up. "You know, the Smarticans are like, 'Republicans'. So we'll be the opposite. We'll be 'Democracy'. 'Idiocracy', that is. You know, as in, 'Idiot'." Everybody else seemed to like the idea.
"I think it's okay." Rangiku said.
"Eh. It's alright." Tatsuki nodded.
Yumichika shrugged, "Very well."
"I'm cool." Renji said.
"Me too." Shuuhei nodded.
Okay, freeze. I realize that history and government are my weakest fields of knowledge and all...but the "Republican" and "Democracy" shit are important to me. Why? Because they're the only crap I ever remembered in all my years of history class. It's a special rarity.
"Okay! So, we're the Idiocracy from now on. So how are we going to study?" Rukia said. Nothing.
"...Uhh, how about we just focus on a different subject every several minutes?" Tatsuki suggested.
"That's a good idea." Rukia nodded.
"Yeah, we should do that. It's simple and easy." Rangiku agreed.
"Well, if nobody has any problems with it..." Rukia said, searching for any signs of objection. No one. Perfect.
"Alright. So what classes do you all take? Do we all, you know, take the same shit here?" Rukia asked.
Everyone looked at each other. Rukia sighed and said, "...Okay. So I take Japanese, English, history, geography, civics, math, science, and home economics. Okay? Does anybody have something DIFFERENT from that?"
Everybody shook their heads.
"Okay. Eight subjects. Divide that by two hours." Rukia said.
"Uhh...one over four...? What the hell?! That doesn't make any sense!" Shuuhei snapped. Everybody just stared at him.
Rukia tried doing the math. "Uhh...right, so...two hours...that's a 120 minutes...divide that by eight...oh, man, we can't do that. Then we'll only have like, fifteen minutes for each subject." Rukia said.
"Then what should we do?" Rangiku asked.
"Well, I suggest we only study the subjects we REALLY need to study...especially if it's for an exam. Everything else, we spend at least a little time at home studying for." Yumichika suggested.
"Hey! That's a good idea." Rukia said.
"Of course it is." Yumichika scoffed.
"Alright, so that's set. Everybody, give me your schedules for this week and next week. Let's go around the table." Rukia said.
"Umm...I have an English test on Friday, and a science test next Tuesday." Rangiku said.
"I have a math test on Wednesday." Tatsuki said, looking up from her planner.
Renji thought for a minute before answering, "I'm pretty sure I have a science test on Friday and an English test on Monday."
Shuuhei said, "Same shit as Renji---but no English test."
"I have a Japanese test on Thursday." Yumichika answered as he looked up from examining his nails.
Rukia stared at him for a minute before saying, "Right. Okay. And I have a math test on Thursday. Let's get started."
"...How?" Rangiku asked. Rukia paused. Yes. Just how? None of them had ever tried to study before. They didn't know how to.
"Oh, man! We're screwed!" Renji exclaimed.
"We don't know how to study. We WANT to, but we don't know HOW to." Rangiku agreed. The rest of the group nodded, seeming to agree.
Rukia said loudly, "Okay, stop! Look, we can't give up now. We, we just need help."
Everybody gave Rukia an offended look.
"Not THAT kind of help!" Rukia snapped, rolling her eyes.
"Ohhh." everybody said.
"I meant 'how-to-study' help. We need people who are dedicated to their studies. We need people who KNOW how to study. We need people who get good grades. We need people who hold the highest scores in this horror game called 'school'. So! Any ideas?" Rukia said.
After a short pause, everybody's heads turned towards the table at the other end, the table of the...Smarticans.
Okay. In today's modern society, the kids with the highest scores...don't interact with the kids all the way at the bottom. It's like the gap between the rich and the poor, the popular and the losers. There's a nasty gap between the smart and the stupid, because our intellects don't match up. That's why when I began talking with these guys, I felt like a foreigner in a different country trying to understand what the natives of the country were saying.
"...You want to know how to...study." Uryuu said, raising an eyebrow at Rukia.
"Uhh...yeah." Rukia said.
"This is weird. Aren't you guys the guys with the lowest scores in the entire school?" Izuru said.
"Uhh, yeah, but we were threatened to improve our grades, so...yeah." Rukia explained. She quickly looked behind her at her table, as her fellow Idiocracy members waved "Hi!" and "good luck!" to her. She scowled at them, but quickly turned back to the Smarticans.
The Smarticans just looked at each other. How were they going to explain how to study? Studying was just a natural thing for them---they just...did it. "Well, we don't know. We just...study." Ichigo said, scratching his head.
"Yeah. How?" Rukia asked.
"Umm...I don't know...we just do whatever we need to do. Like...what did you learn today?" Orihime said.
No answer.
"Umm...o-okay, how about this? Let me see your notes." Orihime said.
No answer.
Notes. I never copied notes, see...I always thought the textbook had it all. Never bothered to lift my pencil and write the damned information. Never in my entire high school life. I found that by not taking notes, I was able to relax more. But when notebook checks came...ehhh.
"You don't even take notes---how do you expect to study?" Toshirou said with a look of disbelief, and Momo shot him a look as if to say, "Don't be so mean", to which Toshirou only shrugged to.
Rukia said nervously, "Well, uhh, I never really paid attention in class..."
"Well, no wonder." Uryuu said, opening his binder. Rukia saw his neat and organized notes and homework and a bunch of "perfect score" tests, and felt so...inferior. Uryuu took out two sheets of paper and handed them to Rukia.
"Huh?" Rukia said, taking the papers.
"Those are some of my study sheets. Try making some of your own by following the format I have on there." Uryuu explained.
"So, uhh...study sheets. You just study off of these things?" Rukia inquired.
"Well, it kinda depends, you know? It depends on what you need to know. For the most part, we just rely on the textbook, our class notes, classwork, and study sheets we make ourselves." Orihime replied.
"...Oh. Wow! Well, uhh...thanks." Rukia said.
"No problem." Orihime smiled, and Rukia headed back to her table. When her fellow Idiocracy members saw that Rukia had returned safe and sound, as well as "treasure", they erupted into cheers, earning them a scowl from the librarian and astonished looks from the Smarticans.
Rukia sighed. The library, after today, would never be the same again. Suddenly, the librarian, Tabeko Fukumura, came over to the Idiocracy table, and snapped, "I will not stand for this!!"
A short pause followed before the Idiocracy members all said matter-of-factly, "...Then go sit in a chair."
Tabeko turned an angry shade of red before pointing to the Smarticans' table and snapping, "Do you see them? THEY are ROLE MODEL STUDENTS! ROLE MODEL STUDENTS!"
"...So?" the Idiocracy members all asked, uninterested.
Tabeko sighed in frustration, "The library is for studying! I expect proper behavior from all students! You must be working! Just like our geniuses!" The Idiocracy turned their eyes to the Smarticans, who just stayed quiet and took in all the compliments. The Idiocracy then turned back to Tabeko, whose face was red with fury.
Rangiku said, "Hey, lady, can you go explode somewhere else? Because your yelling affects our young and troubled teenage minds."
Tabeko gasped and snapped, "How dare you!"
"I dare." Rangiku replied, shrugging.
"Uhh, alright, alright, guys, let the old lady go. Sorry, Fukumura-san. We'll be quiet." Rukia said.
Tabeko looked hesitant, but just sniffed and gave them all a dirty look before storming back to her desk, where she kept her diet coke and blueberry muffins. Rukia sat back down, "Listen, guys, I know you all hate Fuck-a-mura the librarian, but if she gives Ishiyama-sensei a bad report, we're done."
"But did you see that outburst of anger? Extremely unprofessional." Yumichika scoffed, flipping his short hair primly.
Rangiku nodded, "Yeah. Her voice is so annoying."
"She's fat." Renji said, stuffing a handful of chips in his mouth.
"She's such a fun-sucker." Shuuhei complained, taking a chip from Renji's chip bag.
"I don't like her 'cause she's such a cranky bitch." Tatsuki said, leaning back in her chair.
"Come on, guys. Her job is really stressful, you know?" Rukia said.
"And she could reduce a lot of that stress by just sitting back in her chair and drinking that fucking diet coke all day long instead of yelling at us, you know?!" Renji snapped.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Rangiku agreed, raising her fists in a rebellious manner, a manner that gave Rukia a bad feeling.
"You know what? I say we poke her belly fat!" Renji exclaimed, standing up.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Rangiku and Shuuhei both stood up, fists raised.
"Oh, no..." Rukia muttered.
That's right. Something stupid this way comes.
"Poke the fat! Poke the fat!" Tatsuki and Yumichika chanted, and Rangiku and Shuuhei soon joined in. And since it would look just plain weird if she was the only one who didn't, Rukia eventually joined in, too.
Then, all of a sudden, Renji dashed across the library up to fatass Tabeko, and poked her pretty hard on her side, where her belly fat bulged out. As Renji ran back like a person who had just won five million bucks through the lottery, the Idiocracy stood up from their table, cheering and clapping, causing heads to turn to look at them curiously.
"EXCUSE ME!!!" Tabeko roared, face flushed with anger as she stood up, nearly spilling her can of diet coke over her desk.
"YOU ARE EXCUSED!!" the Idiocracy yelled back, laughing.
"That's it! I'm calling up Ishiyama-sensei!!" Tabeko snapped, and the Idiocracy shut up. Uh-oh. They were in trouble now. They sank back into their seats, but couldn't suppress giggles at Renji's brave feat.
The Smarticans just stared at the Idiocracy, stunned. They had never seen kids that were this wild before. Poke the librarian's belly fat?! That was just...though, they had to admit, they were never really fond of the obese librarian themselves.
Rukia was still giggling when Ishiyama-sensei entered and Tabeko complained to him about the Idiocracy. He came over to them with the "Ishiyama-sensei look", and said in a stern voice, "...All of you. Out. Now." The Idiocracy slowly rose from their seats and exited the library, with Tabeko giving them all a menacing glare. It wasn't a very nice look, really, the look she was giving them.
Rukia felt the eyes of everyone in the library staring at them, and to be honest, she didn't feel embarrassed at all. Rather, she was more frightened of the consequences that would befall her and her groupmates.
It was kinda funny, really. We had gotten in trouble for...poking the librarian's belly fat. Still, we had stirred up some excitement in the library. No one studying in the library laughed, but we could tell, they were interested in us. They wanted to know who we were. They wanted to know the dumbest kids in the entire school. They wanted to know the Idiocracy.
Author's Note: Alright, bad way to end a chapter. But I couldn't think of any other way to end this chapter. Thankfully, this fic focuses on only one plotline, so things won't be as difficult to write up as Everybody's Favorite. And I do realize that "Smarticans" is extremely, extremely corny, as corny as Idiocracy, but I'm a horrible name-chooser. That's right, I suck at choosing names! I'm screwed when the time comes to name my kids!