There are moments that filter in and out of our lives that change us. That change the very core of who we are, why we live and if any of it really matters.

Today was one of the moments.

The shots echoed and for a few seconds I froze.

My heart continued to beat but I lost all sense of reality.

It had to dream.

Someone, please tell me this is just a dream.

But the blood on my hands was real.

The body in my arms was real.

"Boss?" I whisper it at first. "Boss?! Come on Boss!" I plead with the lifeless body gently before all out shaking him. "No, no. Gibbs…you can't…please don't die on me boss."

Panic set in. He wasn't responding.

I surveyed the wounds, and composed myself long enough to search for a pulse.

There it was.

Faint.

But there.

"Boss!" This time I didn't whisper. "It's me DiNozzo! I'm here…I'm here boss. If you can hear me…" I went to reach for his hand before realizing it was already entwined with my own. "Come back…"

He shifted slightly in my arms and groaned in pain.

"That's it…help is coming….I know it." I cradled him closer, keeping pressure best I could. "I know this may seem selfish, but I don't think I can take another person leaving me boss." I somehow managed a tragic smile. "I'm beginning to think I'm not as magnetic as I thought I was."

"Tony…"

I take in a deep breath at his voice but I don't speak.

"Shooter?"

Of course. He's dying and he's more concerned about the shooter. It jars me back into reality and I reach for my weapon and glance around…within seconds Gibbs lifts himself to cover me, and there's another muzzle flash….then I somehow manage to locate the man and aim to kill.

It was then; his body slumped to the ground, lifeless.

Speaking of lifeless…

"Ah God," I notice the third wound and the blood pooling on the ground beneath me.

This time, there was no pleading. There was no hoping. There was no faint pulse.

And that….

That was the moment that changed me.

What has changed you?