Disclaimer: I own nothing in the HP universe. I just like to play around with it because it amuses me greatly.
A/N: For the sake of this story, let's just pretend I didn't use modern slang in 1970s England. Whoops.
"James, why have people been giving me queer looks all day?" Remus asked, finally managing to corner his friend in the Gryffindor hallway.
James tensed and looked around shiftily before addressing the boy. "Um, why do you ask?"
"Because you've been giving me the same looks," Remus snapped. It was true, all day there had been students pointing at him or whispering behind his back. It usually didn't phase him because he was part of the Marauders and attracted attention, but when his name and Sirius' kept cropping up in conversation he started to get suspicious.
"Hah. Oh Remus, you're just delusional," James scoffed as he rubbed the back of his neck. His face was turning a reddish color with something that looked suspiciously like embarrassment. He looked nervous but determined that had Remus narrowing his eyes in a glare. "Okay, so maybe they know," he admitted uneasily.
"They know," Remus repeated blankly before his face bleached of color. "They know that I'm-"
"Yes," James cut in while nodding his head. "Everyone does by now, but don't worry Remus because I fully support you. So does Peter," he added in as an afterthought.
"H-how?" Remus asked shakily, leaning against the wall for support. He couldn't believe this was happening; his life was over. "I've been so careful." No one would want to go to school with a werewolf. He had better start packing his bags now.
"Sirius told everyone." James noticed how Remus blanched at the information and patted Remus on the back consolingly. "Well, hey. I'm sure everyone is fine with it and you've got all of Gryffindor to support you too. Most of the girls think it's even cute." He tried to soften the news with a smile but it wasn't working out too well by the looks of it.
Remus, who was very close to hyperventilating at that point, managed to drag his mind out of mind numbing terror at James' words. "Cute? They think what's cute?"
"That you're going out with Sirius," James replied matter-of-factly.
Oh, well that was a relief. For a second Remus had thought his secret was out about his little werewolf problem. Wait…"What?" Remus shrieked. That's why everyone was staring at him. That's why some kids were even congratulating him and calling him a lucky dog? Remus thought they were just happy for his excellent marks in Transfiguration. "I'm not- I mean I- we're not even," he sputtered trying to shift his mind over from terror to, well terror of a different sort he supposed.
James clucked his tongue sympathetically and ruffled his friend's hair. "You don't have to hide anymore, Remus. It was pretty clear when Sirius boasted how he had gotten into your pants." He had a slightly hurt look on his face. "I do wish you had told me first. I wouldn't have been disgusted or anything. One time I bought this hotdog from a guy who was gay and we got along famously," he reassured. "Or at least I think he was gay. He did have a girlfriend, although she was kind of manly." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Anyway, I completely support you."
Remus didn't have a response to that; he was too busy trying to get over the fact that people didn't know he was a werewolf. Instead they were commenting that he was gay. With Sirius. In a relationship.
Sirius was dead.
Remus didn't even have time to acknowledge James' misplaced congratulations before he spat out the password and all but slammed into the common room. "Sirius!" he barked at the boy who was lounging by the fire.
Sirius looked up with a huge grin splitting his face at the sight of his friend. "Yes, my little moonpie?" he asked sweetly, blinking coquettishly at him right before his ear was yanked. Hard. He yelped and scrambled up into a standing position while being pulled by his ear to stand eye to eye with Remus.
"What did you say to James that has him thinking we were buggering each other senseless?" he hissed softly, lupine eyes glaring daggers at his friend.
"I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Sirius defended, holding up his hands in an honest gesture. "All I did was say I got into your pants."
"I said you could borrow them," Remus snapped.
"And doesn't that translate to me getting into your pants?" Sirius interrupted smoothly once he was sure his ear wasn't going to get yanked off by an irate werewolf.
Remus threw his hands up in the air. "That doesn't mean the same thing!" he huffed. "Now everyone thinks I'm- arrrghhh," he broke off, clutching a fistful of hair in annoyance.
"It's not my fault everyone drew the wrong conclusions from it," Sirius said innocently, patting his friend on the shoulder.
With the way Sirius was smirking at him Remus highly doubted it was all in innocence, but despite his effort all the anger was draining out of him. Remus sighed and closed his eyes before releasing Sirius to plop himself down on the couch. "I really dislike you," he muttered sulkily right before Peter wished him congratulations on their new romance, much to Sirius' glee. "And that is the last time I'm letting you wear my pants."