I'M BACK! OH MY GOD! Life sidelined me! But I'm here! Miss me?Guess what! I HAVE AN EDITOR! MAJOR THANKS GOES TO TOSHI FOR TAKING MY CRAP, MESSING WITH IT SO IT LOOKS DECENT AND SENDING IT BACK SO I CAN POST IT! TOSHI YOU RULE! The plot bunny and a majority of the writing here is mine, Toshi added a little bit so the story is easier to read. WE LOVE TOSHI! Remember that 1968 Mercury Cougar I told you about? Well... It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Bumblebee has met his match... But! Thumper is NOT... Cybertronian. HA! DUM DUM DUM DUM! Now you HAVE to read the next chapter. Because if you don't, you'll never understand... What I'm plotting! HA! No this is not a Knight Rider rip off... I'm smarter then that. Disclaimer thing: I don't own Transformers. I do however, own Thumper and Mollie Redd... As well as the "SPARKPLUGS!" A.K.A Cybertonian Babies... NO! I GAVE AWAY PART OF THE PLOT! GAH!

Chapter One: Close encounters of the third kind...

"Time to wake up Mollie..."

She grumbled and burrowed deeper into the back seat of the 1968 Mercury Cougar that had been her home for the past three years, pulling her sleeping bag over her head. "Mmmm... Nah-uh..."

"Your going to be late for work."

Mollie kicked the driver's seat, but opened her eyes, shivering. "Can I at least have some heat?

There was a grunt and a painful sounding grinding noise as the car tried to start, grumbling about a wet carburetor before the engine backfired, shot a cloud of thick black smoke out of it's exhaust and turned over, dusty but warm air gushing from the vents. Smiling, she patted the dashboard. "Your the best Thumper."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Your feet are cold."

Mollie grinned wickedly and pressed them against the dash. Thumper shuddered and tried to bite her with the glove box. She giggled and dug through the duffel bag in the front seat, sniffing various articles of clothing to see which was the cleanest.

She looked up, worried as Thumper sputtered and jerked revving his engine as it choked and tried to stall. "We need to get you to a mechanic..."

The indignant snort didn't surprise her. "I'm fine. Just cold. Hurry up, it's almost nine."

"Have you seen my black sneakers?"

"Under the passenger seat."

-20 minutes later-

Mollie looked down at Thumper's engine with a smirk.

"Don't even say it."

Mollie grinned as Thumper tried to get his stalled engine to start, clouds of black smoke gushing out of his exhaust pipe as it groaned and sputtered, refusing to turn over. "But it's true."

"I don't need a mechanic! My carburetor is clogged. Gimme a minute."

Mollie banged her head on the steering wheel, choking with laughter. "OH MY GOD! MY CAR IS CONSTIPATED!"

"I AM NOT!"

Mollie laughed harder. "Want some reading material Thumper? I think I can find a copy of Hot Rod Magazine for you."

"You wanna walk?"

She gasped, catching her breath and patted Thumper's hood comfortingly.

"It's ok Thumper. There's a gas station down the road. I'll go call us a tow truck."

Thumper's usual grumpy manner turned to one of sorrow. "I don't want you wasting your hard earned money on getting me fixed Molls..."

Mollie smiled. "Thumper, you've always looked out for me. Let me look out for you for once. Besides, if I didn't have you to drive me to work, I wouldn't have any money."

"I don't like you walking all alone..."

Mollie looked up as a bright yellow Camaro flew past, then slammed on it's brakes and flipped a u-turn. "Looks like your not going to have to worry about it. My charm and beauty has once again saved the day."

Thumper snorted and went silent as the Camaro came to a stop behind them and a pregnant woman with long black hair and big blue eyes climbed out. Mollie grinned, leaning against Thumper as she approached.

"I guess I should call you my knight in shining yellow armor."

The girl laughed. "You have no idea. Car trouble?"

Mollie brushed her bright red hair out of her eyes. "He's just constipated."

The pregnant woman grinned as Thumper's car's hood slammed shut with a loud bang, making Mollie jump. "His carburetor is clogged. I just need to get him to good mechanic."

"Your in luck. I happen to own a garage. I'm Mikaela Witwicky. This is Bee." The girl patted her Camaro affectionately. Her grin widened.

"I'm Mollie Redd. This old clunker is my baby, his name is Thumper."

Mollie could have sworn the Camaro actually snickered.

"Laugh it up, you piss colored insect."

Mollie face palmed, bringing her heel up and kicking Thumper, certain Mikaela was about to freak out.

Mollie's mouth dropped open as the Camaro actually talked back, his tone snarky. "Thanks. I will you gear stripped factory reject!"

"Holy shit... Did your car just talk?"

Mikaela grinned. "Yep. Did yours?"

She nodded. Mikaela looked at her Camaro. "So much for staying a secret, eh Bee?"

"I am not piss colored."

Thumper popped open his door, his voice gruff. "That's nice. I don't trust these guys Mollie. Get in."

Mollie patted Thumper reassuringly, her curiosity getting the better of her. "And do what, sit here until you rust? Thumper, she has a garage and a talking car. Maybe she can help."

"I am not a talking car. I'm an Autonomous Robotic Organism from the planet Cybertron. What are you?"

"A classic muscle car, you modern piece of cheap crap."

Mollie kicked Thumper again and turned back to Mikaela. "So wait... Planet Cybertron? Your aliens?"

Mikaela grinned. "No, I'm a human. Bee's an alien. We met three years ago. It's a really long story... Pop your hood, if you'd be so kind Thumper."

Thumper sat there grumpily until Mollie kicked him again. Reluctantly, he popped his hood. Mikaela leaned over, her girth making her stand on her tip toes as she wiggled the top off the carburetor.

Bumblebee shouted encouragement.

"Don't worry Thumper, Mikaela has really warm hands."

Mollie smiled, deciding she liked this Camaro. "Dude, she's feeling up my car. Should I be jealous?"

Bumblebee giggled. "I know I am!"

"When was the last time you had any maintenance done Thumper? Your entire exhaust system is backed up..."

Mollie laughed. "I told you he was constipated."

"Oh ha...Ooooooh... Do that again..."

Mikaela laughed and did whatever it was she had done that had stopped Thumper in mid grump, evoking a shudder from the muscle car. To Mollie's delight, Thumper began to purr.

"Oh she's stroking his exhaust manifold. He doesn't stand a chance."

"Don't stand a... Oooooh! Wait... What...Uuuuuugnnnnn..."

Mollie was actually a bit concerned about the deep moans coming from Thumper. His entire frame was shaking. "What are you doing to him?"

Mikaela grinned and continued to rub different parts of Thumper's engine, tubes and wires. "Just a little something to loosen him up. The engine is pretty much the most sensitive part on a mech. Basically, I'm rubbing his tummy."

What's a mech?"

"Stop... Distracting... Her..."

Mollie looked down at her grumping car with a smirk. He was actually sagging against his tires with pleasure. "Awwww, does the wittle car wike his tummy wubbies?"

"I'm going to run you over... I swear... OOOOOH HOLY..."

Mollie jumped backwards as Mikaela grabbed a certain hose and Thumper's engine screamed to life without even turning over, sending a glop of greenish black goo and a huge cloud of smoke out flying out his exhaust pipe before sputtering and going silent. Mikaela frowned.

"Well, we got some of it out. Feel any better big guy?"

"Mmmmhmmm... "

Mollie stared. Thumper sounded stoned. "Thumper...?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you ok?"

"I think so..."

Mikaela smirked. "I can give your exhaust system a full flush back at the garage. You could use a tune up and oil change too."

"We can't afford that."

Mollie kicked Thumper again. "What he means, is that I may have to make payments..."

Mikaela laughed. "It's on the house. Bee, call Ratch and see if he can scan a tow truck for me will you?"

"It would be an honor, my liege. Can I have a massage too?"

Mollie laughed as Bumblebee switched to a very snobby sounding British accent. Mikaela patted Bee's hood. "Only if you mow the lawn."

"Moooooo!"

"Wait... How the hell does a car mow the lawn?"

Bumblebee chirped, switching to an oriental accent.

"Very carefully tiny grasshopper..."