Prologue
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and all of its characters belong to Square Enix, not me.
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I can't take this.
I know I'm not beautiful. I couldn't even be considered pretty. The best compliment that I've ever gotten was 'cute'. And that was said by a fully drunk Reno.
But of course, he always said otherwise, he said that I was beautiful. Ha. Those lies, they make me want to laugh.
And he is currently talking to her.
Let me explain.
I never got along with boys. Or anybody for that matter. Any guy with the smallest amount of common sense avoided me. Heck, even the royal Wutai boys who were supposed to try and win my heart (for the throne), avoided me. I was too ugly, too hyper, too stubborn.
Bah. I wasn't always extremely hyper, but I've spent years building up my mask. I wasn't going to take it off for anybody. I didn't need anyone in my life. Nobody wanted me anyways. Godo never wanted a child, and my own mother had wanted a boy.
I loved her, though, and I grew even more distant with Godo when she was killed. He blamed, still blames, me for her death.
Godo made my time in Wutai a living hell. Blah blah this, blah blah that. Do this wrong, get punished. Do that right, get more work. I would like to hate him, but he's the only family I've got.
I found my condolence in stealing. Taking other people's valued items, stealing their precious materia from right under their noses was always a thrill. I obsessed with materia to keep myself sane. Life doesn't seem so bad when you have something you value. Also, the materia helped Wutai, the land I love against reason.
I always worked alone, though. As I said before, I didn't need anyone.
My perspective changed somewhat when I met Avalanche. I was still in the habit of denying authority, though (living with Godo does that). So I stole their materia. Twice.
Yes, I regret it. In retrospect, I don't know why I did it. I suppose I was 16, naïve, and stupid. Stupid enough to risk possible friendship for money. Stupid enough to rejoin Avalanche. Stupid enough to steal from them again, stupid enough to get caught by that blasted pervert.
Late at night in those inns, I could hear them talking about me. I'm loud but not deaf. I could hear every word that Cid and Barret said when they were cursing my existence. I know that Cloud hates me for being an annoying, pesky thief.
Aeris was the only one who never judged me; she was the sister I wish I had.
Aeris is dead. Like my mother.
There's this other member, Vincent.
We always had guard duty together. He also saved my ass plenty of times, but what I was really thankful for is that he gave me confidence. With him, I actually felt that I had worth. He listened to me when no one else would, and consoled me when no one else wanted to.
I know he will always love Lucrecia from the bottom of his heart. I thought he at least cared about me, though. He told me that I was beautiful.
Of course, back then, there had been no ten-year-old-girl-with-his-dead-lover's-feelings to remind him of said truly-beautiful-lover.
Everyone likes Shelke. Except me. I heard Cid offhandedly say that he was glad some 19 year olds weren't damned brats. That had stung, even though I know he's said worst things about me.
Vincent likes Shelke a lot, too. It took three years for me to get him to say more than a sentence at a time to me. Shelke can get a speech in less then five minutes.
And dammit, it hurts.
I finger my shruiken, watching the sharp blades draw blood against my skin. It stings, but the pain feels good.
I look back up. Tifa is hosting a party to celebrate Vincent's return. He was brought back by Shelke. I had offered bring him back, but of course Shelke should do it because Shelke is perfect and everyone likes Shelke so much better.
I don't care if I'm being childish. Everyone thinks I'm a stupid child, so I'll act like one.
Everyone is partying in the Seventh Heaven. The original Avalanche group is here, along with the Turks. I feel awkward, because I should be out having fun too, but I feel sick, the same feeling I get when I'm on an airship.
Vincent is sitting with Shelke. They're both talking so happily that you'd never have thought Vincent was once Angst incarnate. It's selfish of me, but I liked Mr. Angst better.
My heart constricts again. I look away.
This party is giving me a headache. I can't believe I ever liked these things. I slink deeper to my corner and eye the clock. 11:45. Not even past midnight, but I'm tired. I drag myself up the stairs to my room.
Oh, I didn't mention that I was currently staying with Tifa? Well, I am.
I flop down on my bed and bury myself under my nice, warm blankets. I can't fall asleep, though, as the noise keeps me awake.
A thought passes my head. Nobody's looking. I could disappear, run away. Not back to Wutai, because I'm not ready to face Godo. But somewhere else, anywhere. I feel like a trapped animal, and like that animal I feel the need to escape. Even Icicle Inn's sounding nice.
This is strange. I'm not sounding like myself. I've always been cheerful, even if it was false happiness. And I will not run away.
I try to smile, but I find that it tires me. Lately, I've been feeling really tired.
I close my eyes and listen to the loud music coming from downstairs.
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Weeks came and went. Every single day, Vincent would be here for Shelke.
No consideration for his friend of several years, of course. Not one "well, it's nice to see you, Yuffie." He barely says hello to Cloud or Tifa too. Just straight to Shelke like a starving rat to cheese. Maybe I'm just bitter. Shelke makes him happy, and that's more than I ever achieved.
I need to do something. I'm getting bored, and I have no desire of watching Vincent come here and go to Shelke.
I sneak out of Tifa's bar without her noticing. I suppose I could have simply walked out of the bar, but it's just much more fun this way.
I decide that maybe it's time to go on a stealing spree, just simple stealing of anything I like. It will keep my mind off of other things, and perhaps I'll even come across a materia every now and then.
And four hours later, I come back to Tifa's bar, right as rain. Stealing never fails to make me happy when everything else seems to go wrong. I don't really pity my victims; the way I see it, if their valuables aren't protected enough from a thief, then the item deserves to be stolen.
I sneak back into Tifa's bar and deposit my stolen items in my room. And of course, no one hears a thing. I don't know why everyone automatically assumes I'm clumsy. I was rather clumsy when I was a kid, but Wutaian ninja training beat that out of me. For goodness sake, if I can run up a building without falling, I think that I'm pretty balanced on flat land.
But if they want to think that I'm clumsy, I'll pretend to be so.
Well, what to do now? I think I'll go down and bother Tifa. Or Cloud, if he's here. He's gotten better at not disappearing at random times, but he still likes to vanish once in a while.
So I tiptoe past the other rooms and make my way downstairs. I try not to, but I can't help but spare a fleeting glance at Shelke's room.
Oh, did I forget to say that Shelke is here too, even after I went through the humiliation of freakin' begging Tifa not to let her stay? But noooo, of course my opinion doesn't count, because Shelke's a poor, poor orphan and I'm just a spoiled ninja brat and if Cloud thinks that she should stay, then she should stay, because Cloud is soooo freakin' cool and…
I think I should stop there before I get carried away.
Anyways, I peek at the little crack of here door, and my heart leaps into my throat. There, on the bed, sits Vincent Valentine and Shelke Rui, one arm around her waist, the other on her shoulder.
I don't think he means to speak loudly, but his voice carries and I have good hearing, so I hear him whisper "…I…I love you, Shelke."
There's a fluttering of Shelke's eyelashes, but she sits there otherwise nonplussed. "What about Yuffie? Don't you like her?"
That causes him some brief hesitation and me some large surprise. And here I thought he was using me all those times that feels like so long ago… "Shelke, I did like her, but…I don't think I ever loved her. Not like I loved Lucrecia. I would not miss her if she went away."
Vincent leans down and his lips gingerly touch Shelke's.
I quickly look away and run back to my room, barely restraining myself from slamming the door. I feel my eyes water as they grow heavy with tears.
But no, no, Yuffie Kisaragi, you will not cry! You haven't cried since your mother died, and you've done so well at not crying at anything else, so dammit, you will not cry!
But I want to scream. And what about those times you spent with me, Vincent? When you told me that you would always be with me? And how about that one time when I caught you actually sleeping and you, in your sleep, said that you loved me?
Ha. HAHA HA HA!!! Maybe it only hurts because I was stupid enough to believe him. I quickly run into my adjourning bathroom, and throw up in the sink. I clean it up and ignore the feeling of water running down my cheeks.
I have to get out of here. I have to escape.
I can't stand all of this; not only him but also
Cid's frequent insults to me, with
Barret refusing to let me see Marlene because I'm a bad influence, with
Tifa unintentionally mentioning how cute a couple Shelke and Vincent would be, with
Cloud's silent glares with contempt in his eyes, with
Cait Sith bugging and bothering me with questions about him, with
Reeve only valuing me for my work, with
Denzel always pulling pranks on me and only me, with
Nanaki thinking me a child, and through it all
Godo's assurances that I am nothing, a disgrace, that I would have been better off dead, that if I wasn't born my mother would be alive, and
I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!
If I'm not already, I will become insane. I thought it would be enough just to be able to see him, but…
There is no way that I love, or even like, him. Not a chance. But my decision is made.
I pack the most important of my belongings, and leave everything that will remind me of anything from my past.
I'm leaving.
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A/N:
Well, this is my attempt at an angsty Yuffie. I'm trying to be depressing, but I dunno…
Because, I could totally see Yuffie being this misunderstood character since she's always labeled as being overly hyper and cheerful. I don't know if any of you see her this way, though.
And for the record, that list at the end is just some minor cases were Yuffie has been hurt and it just all adds up…
There's no intentional character bashing.
If you've read all the way down here, you might as well review! And remember, constructive criticism, not flames.