Last Chapter! Forgive me if it's not too satisfying but I just ran dry.

I want to thank all of those who have read this and most importantly to those of you who left a review. Special thanks to MYSOU,Trans,Kiko and Chrono.

Disclaimer: Me YNM A dream. I also do not own I walk beside you, that would be property of Dream Theater.

Tsuzuki stood with a muted groan and stretched his cramped muscles. Massaging the base of his neck he gathered his finished work with a satisfied smile. Hisoka had been hounding him to do the paperwork for a while now and it had taken the threat of being in the 'dog house' and a good lump the size of his fist to the back of his head to settle him down long enough to finish it.

Walking out he headed to Tatsumi's office, giddy that he had finished a good ten minutes before work ended. Now he could leave early. Hisoka, as always had finished his work first as per usual while Tsuzuki had been 'thinking' over what he was going to write on his report…with his eyes closed.

Knocking on the door he waited for the muted "Enter" before opening the door. Tatsumi was tidying up the paper work on his desk and a small smile flitted across his face before the cool controlled mask fell back in place.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

'Some things never change" he thought. Smiling brightly he handed Tatsumi his paper work and waited like an eager child for his praise. Tatsumi's only sign of surprise was a slight rise of his eyebrow. Thumbing through it he nodded and snapped the file close.

"I assume Kurosaki was behind this little miracle. Threaten you with sleeping in the dog house again?" he casually asked as he filed the report under 'To do' pile for tomorrow. Tatsumi managed to contain his chuckled at Tsuzuki's crest fallen face.

A small smile managed to squeeze by his defense when the over energetic man grinned sheepishly and laughed "That and good book solved everything" he poked fun of himself. "By the way have you seen him?"

Tatsumi shook his head and straightened his tie and jacket before turning the lamp off. Walking towards the door he motioned for Tsuzuki to go ahead as he closed the door. The two walked shoulder to shoulder down the hall "No but I'm sure he is with Watari. I need to go there and pry the man off the computer before he drowns in it." He said with dry humor but Tsuzuki could hear the undertone of affection.

Tsuzuki smiled brightly at the happiness his friends were radiating. Opening the door to Wataris lab Tsuzuki's first thought was 'And thank the gods some things do change."

Watari was clicking away at his computer his fingers mere blurs his whole focus on the strange numbers and symbols running vertically on the screen. Tsuzuki's heart melted when he looked past the blond scientist.

On the widow ledge laid Hisoka sleeping peacefully, the sun bathing his serene face. Yoru laid next to him her head resting against his shoulder and her wing over their bodies like a blanket deeply asleep. Hisoka had an arm wrapped protectively around her.

It was times like these when the two teens could rest peacefully with no emotion berating them, or the slowly dwindling nightmares. Tsuzuki walked past an entranced Watari until he blocked the sun. Hisoka wrinkled his nose and shifted slightly, but that was enough for Yoru to wake up.

In quick reflex Tsuzuki managed to capture the fist and sent reassurance and warmth through the link. They had discovered that was the easiest, and most painless, way to awaken the teens. Tsuzuki held his breath as blue eyes opened to look up at him. Simultaneously they turned to see Hisoka, wondering if the jostling woke him up.

They breathed a relieved sigh when the blond youth turned on his side. Careful to bring their shields up Yoru nodded to the three men before shimmering and disappearing. Waiving gaily Watari dragged a rather willing Tatsumi out of the lab by his tie. Smiling Tsuzuki shook his head and bent down to pick up his precious bundle.

Immediately Hisoka turned his body to Tsuzuki's heat and snuggled in. Half awake Hisoka struggled to open his eyes but abandoned all efforts when he felt warm lips brush his forehead.

"Shh it's ok, I'm just going to take you home, love."

"Tsu-zuki. I can…walk" but even as Hisoka said that he curled tighter into Tsuzuki's heat.

Tsuzuki chuckled and played along "I know but let me carry you. You know I love it when you let me."

In truth Hisoka seemed to enjoy it more but the ever prickly teen would never admit it. Instead he sighed in playful frustration "Baka"

Before he surrendered to the warm darkness he felt a light kiss across his eyes "Your baka"

Tsuzuki choose to walk to the apartment rather than teleport there. It gave him a chance to hold Hisoka close to him and he was sure Hisoka would appreciate the outdoors more than a closed in room.

Hisoka was only barely getting back into a comfortable sleeping habit. Muraki's last torture had left scars in his young loves life once again and only now was he beginning to be able to overcome them. It was almost back to square one except for that precious trust.

It had been a rough two weeks since the rescue; Tsuzuki unconsciously tightened his grip on Hisoka only easing up the pressure when Hisoka muttered in protest. Glancing up he noticed they were in front of the building sighing he began the easy climb up the stairs a new worry of Hisoka's weight plaguing him. The boy had yet to recover his appetite.

Opening the door he traveled through the room with out a light familiar of his surrounding and contents. Entering the room he laid the boy down on the bed spread and went to the drawer. Returning he began to quickly strip the boy of his clothes starting with his shoes and working his way up careful to maintain waves of reassurance love and affection flowing from him.

When Hisoka was stripped down to his boxers Tsuzuki paused a moment to appreciate the beauty that lay beneath him. The scroll marks had not disappeared completely, they were just under his skin but hardly noticeable, nothing would ever change that and slowly day by day Hisoka began to accept that but was no where near ready to feel comfortable and in truth Tsuzuki didn't think he ever would be.

He had never gotten over the single most important scar on his wrist but that was another story. When Hisoka shivered he realized he had left Hisoka out in the cold he quickly stuffed the limp boy into on of his shirts and indulged himself in a smile. Hisoka was practically swallowed up in the shirt and made him look absolutely adorable.

Overcome with emotions for the slip of a boy he laid down besides him and pulled Hisoka to him, just holding on and breathing in the unique scent that was Hisoka. Tsuzuki was so proud of Hisoka, so in love with him.

After they had returned to Meifu it all seemed so surreal. "Had it really ended?" was the only thing running through their minds. Upon entering Meifu a Goshinshi brother was waiting for them a grim expression on his face as he formally informed them in wavering voice.

All, with the exception of Byakkos physical form, walked slowly to Hall of Candles, numb to everything except the relief of having Hisoka and Yoru back. As they neared the place a wave of concern and dread began to shimmer between them.

What would happen to Yoru now? What would happen to them? Had they succeeded in destroying Muraki? And if so what was the consequences?

At the top of the steps stood Chief Konoe an even grimmer look on his face, meeting each of their eyes he said nothing and turned to lead the way. Upon entering a small decomposing goblin showed the way to a study where the Count was waiting for them.

They came in together and stayed close, Hisoka and Yoru at the front shoulder to shoulder while Tsuzuki was slightly behind and to the left of Hisoka, Tatsumi next to Tsuzuki and Watari on his right. They stood close together a closed and steady unit.

The count stared or at least they assumed he was as they felt a pair of calculating eyes, which was quite frankly disturbing. Hisoka and Tatsumi felt the slight shudder that went through Tsuzuki and they felt sympathy for him.

"You have killed a human that was not supposed to die by your hands." he began and despite their given positions and various jobs a disembodied voice was slightly disconcerting "and the one under your protection has caused chaos and disturbances."

"The penalty for such treason is a high one to pay and as the overseer of this section I must report all of the on goings."

Tsuzuki spoke up his voice betraying none of his sudden fear "Count, we understand your position but it was all out of necessity."

He was cut off by a white glove. He pointed a single finger at Yoru and beckoned her forward. Hisoka caught her sleeve as she walked forward. Fear of losing her once more shown plainly on his face. She smiled slightly and sent a wave of reassurance to him.

His eyes widened as he felt her. Soft laughter brushed against his mind "Don't worry, Sharma. Although permanent it will not change your life that drastically. I will explain more if need be later."

"You are neither a shinigami nor a god and yet you wield tainted powers. You were allowed stay here during the trial of this case as you were invaluable. Your fate has yet to be sealed but your candle has been extinguished."

Hisoka stepped forward a burning light prompting him to step forward and defend Yoru. His rational side was screaming at him to stay quite, unnoticed but the protector that had been awakened stood firm.

"She can continue to stay here! She can become a shinigami."

Unperturbed the Count shifted his gaze to the oddly defiant boy. This was his Tsuzuki's partner. The quiet reclusive one; or at least he had heard. Fear was clear in the boy but along side it defiance and courage a heady if not healthy combination.

"And disrupt the balance? A human was killed tonight, by those sworn to protect and correct me if I am wrong but this urchin was the one who dealt the killing blow."

Tsuzuki felt a heavy gaze on him but refused to back down "As well as your shikigami. These events can not be ignored."

Tatsumi stepped forward but before he could utter a word Yoru spread her wings bringing back the Counts attention. Her face was livid the shock had taken a back seat to indignation.

"You would condemn them for doing what was right? That animal murdered, manipulated and tortured countless of innocent bystander's to gain immortality and access to the shinigami."

Yoru's wings began to shimmer with power and Hisoka felt an answering tug. Gasping he could see his faintly glowing red aura that turned purple/black. Hearing Tsuzuki gasp and a jolt of surprise that was definitely not his he looked over to see Tsuzuki glowing faintly as well.

Yoru was unaware of it as her attention was focused solely on the untroubled Count. "As for myself I do not regret my actions as they were my own. You can not blame any of them. All they did was defend them selves. If you must pass judgment on someone then it should be me. After all I am nothing more than a soul."

"No" Hisoka cried out his cry of denial second by Watari who had stepped forward. Unconsciously they aligned themselves in a line, linking together. "We all knew the risk and we took it. She stays"

The Count was silent for a while he calmly picked his tea up and drank the amber liquid trialing down to disappear beneath his cloak. An odd sight that was and it made the group feel distinctively uncomfortable though none showed it.

"Setting that aside for a moment what do you propose we do with her? Admitting she killed a man she can not become a shinigami and the Higher Council will not allow her to stay here a wandering soul."

This time Hisoka's voice was quiet but steady. He felt oddly reassured when he felt more than saw Tatsumi's shadows begin to slowly quiver like snakes in wait for the perfect moment to strike. If he did not miss his guess Watari had something up his sleeve.

"If she goes I go."

"I know it's hard to loose someone close to you, young one, but it is necessary."

Hisoka slowly shook his head. "I'm not saying it to be petulant but because it is physically and literally impossible to for me to be here with out her." He felt the ripple of unease and disbelief from his friends and love but did not turn around.

"Muraki was destroying her soul" he managed to continue with out his voice breaking at the painful memory. "I had one chance to save her and I took it. Soul Bind"

"I see."

A pregnant silence fell over the room. Suddenly the Count rose to his feet "I am afraid there is only one solution. The two of you will have to go on."

A cry of denial roared out of Tsuzuki his powers skyrocketing and Tatsumi's shadows rose as a formidable wall. Watari pushed the two teens behind his back a deadly gleam lightened his normally happy eyes.

"You will not lay a hand on them" Tsuzuki hissed his intent clear in his amethyst eyes. If anyone dared to touch either youth there would be hell to pay.

"Let us be reasonable. Where else would she go? As we have mentioned before she can not be a shikigami or a wandering soul."

Hisoka walked out from behind Watari but allowed him to retain a hold of his shoulder. Normally he would have shrugged it off fearing an overload of emotions but now there was a steady wall of comfort and determination destroying any fear or hesitation. It was a sort of high his adrenaline pumping and giving him an extra boost and numbing him to anything else.

In the back of his mind he knew when this was over, and it would end his way, he would crash. That was fine Tsuzuki was there for him, everywhere and anywhere. Hisoka had faith in Tsuzuki not as solid as he would hope but he knew in time it would become harder as it was being forged in the depths of hell where even there they could find joy in each other.

"She is not a wandering soul. She is part of me and can reside with me."

"Are you telling me she is attached to your soul?"

"Yes"

Silence descended on them and the team closed ranks Tatsumi and Tsuzuki flanking Hisoka while Watari held a slightly trembling Yoru. "Child step forward" the Count commanded.

Yoru hesitated a fraction of a second before straightening her back and walking forward her head held high and Hisoka's reassurance and Tsuzuki warmth bathing her inside. She walked until she was a few feet away from the Count. She trembled lightly when a cold unsubstantial hand touched her forehead.

Nodding to himself the count turned and walked back to his desk waving a dismissing glove in their direction. "I will report to the Higher Council of the human man with unusual powers, Muraki captured and held hostage both empaths and in their defense vanquished him. You are dismissed."

As if to demonstrate his imperative power he snapped his fingers and once again the room was filled with blinding white light and they were teleported back out. The count had always been frivolous and flashy.

Two days later they had found out Yoru would be staying in the Shikigami realm were Byakko would be in charge of her and Yoru herself would become a sort of proxy shikigami to Hisoka.

With those last warming thoughts Tsuzuki drifted off to sleep Hisoka's body imprinted on his and Tsuzuki's breathing synchronized with the sleeping boys. Things were never going to be normal again but then again what was normal?

-.o.0.o-

Two months had passed since Muraki's death and the group was still adjusting to the changes, not so much in their work but in themselves. Life altering changes in their lives after centuries, or at least in Watari's, Tatsumi's and Tsuzuki's, left a man fumbling around a bit.

Yoru was recuperating nicely in the shikigami realm, Byakko hardly ever leaving her side and of course only having to reach out to connect to Hisoka. It was odd that she could be called upon to help, she still had the wings and her cancer was being treated with medicine, although Watari was afraid it would never permanently leave, it would also not kill or endanger her in any way.

Hisoka's barriers also improved although not enough to block all emotions. Yoru helped create stronger shields for him so now only intense emotions passed through. She could do nothing but water down feelings and images slightly if a person came in direct contact with him.

Hisoka sighed and stretched his arms out feeling content in the shade of the tree in Tsuzuki's back yard. The big baka was out in the sun gardening and Hisoka had decided the hammock was calling to him.

Hisoka smiled fondly at the kneeling man. Tsuzuki was always a shadow in his mind, never, or almost never, intrusive. Being a private person by nature Hisoka often held shield in his mind but Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki was very trusting always leaving his mind open to him.

Of course there were things Hisoka never ventured near, like Tsuzuki's past. That was something very private and when Tsuzuki was ready to tell him he would listen. Until then he left the doors shut and ambled on to bask in the loving light that always shined brightly.

Noticing Tsuzuki had brought out his little radio Hisoka frowned remembering a far way day, the day he had admitted his love for Tsuzuki. To this day Hisoka could not forget the song or the memories they had been centered over.

Tsuzuki was truly one of a kind. He gave selflessly never thinking of his self preservation and because of that he continuously got hurt. And yet, he could always find something to be happy about sometimes something as ordinary as a flower or a colorful leave. Always giving and never asking for something in return.

Hisoka bit his lip he was one of those people who usually took Tsuzuki for granted. He never wanted to or intended to but he couldn't quite get over that wall of fear. He sighed and wondered what he could do for Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki always told him he did not have to worry about it. That he made him happy by just being there and Tsuzuki never failed to mention his 'sacrifice' in Kyoto. But Hisoka did not feel it was enough. Not because he felt obligated but because he wanted to. What did Tsuzuki want? Something that would make him happy.

Hisoka smiled secretively as a glimmer entered his eyes. The same light that had entered his eyes the night of his epiphany. Humming quietly he went into the house and got a sheet of paper and pen curling up in an overstuffed chair that overlooked the garden he got down to work.

-.o.0.o.-

Tsuzuki ran to Tatsumi's office. It was Friday and Hisoka had left work early claming he had a headache and that he would meet him at Tsuzuki's house. Not bothering to knock Tsuzuki burst into the room his voce ringing out only to trail off.

"Tatsumi I'm finished may…"

Tsuzuki gaped like an idiot as Watari unwrapped himself from Tatsumi. Tsuzuki blinked once before his face split into a huge grin, Watari had been wrapped like ivy around the shadow master and by the looks of it Tatsumi had been enjoying just as much.

Tatsumi cleared his throat and straightened his tie a faint blush across his cheeks but Watari being the little devil he was only mirrored Tsuzuki's grin and slid his arm around Tatsumi's waist dipping his hand into Tatsumi's pants pocket.

The shadow masters eyes widened and he let out a strangled noise. Tsuzuki laughed and dropped his report on the chair. "I see you're...caught up. I'll be leaving now." he said not even trying to hide his laughter.

"Oh and Watari?" he called out over his shoulder "I left the cuff you asked for from Saya with 003 be sure to pick 'em up on your way out. Have a delightful weekend!" He shut the door behind him and slumped against him his ribs aching from the laughter thinking how Hisoka would have reacted.

Probably faint or knock him out until next Friday. His laughter quickly subsided as Tsuzuki thought of Hisoka. He shimmered out and into his apartment wasting no time in walking his concern clear. Ever since their last synchronization Tsuzuki could feel and sometimes hear Hisoka's thoughts or emotions if they were strong enough.

All of that had stopped two days ago. At first he had thought something was wrong, that the effects were wearing off but when he had asked Hisoka his only response was that he had a lot on his mind and wanted some time to sort it out.

At first Tsuzuki had felt hurt but he knew Hisoka was a very private person and it was part of his natural make up. Besides it wasn't as if Hisoka was rejecting him or anything. He just needed some space Tsuzuki knew they couldn't live in each other pockets.

Walking into his bedroom he was surprised to find it empty. The kitchen light had been off but the lamp beside his bed was turned on. Fear slammed into him paralyzing him for a moment and freezing his lungs. But he forced it away, Muraki was gone and if anything bad had happened he would have known no doubt.

It was then that he noticed a purple bouquet of Lilacs and Larkspur(1) on his dark green coverlet and a sheet of paper under it. He walked slowly until his knees hit the side of the bed and he slowly picked up the gift tears swimming in his eyes at the meaning behind such beautiful and delicate flowers. He inhaled their fragrance and simply buried his face in them taking a moment to calm himself before he read the letter.

There is so much I want to say but I don't know how to. I wish I could tell you this out loud but I can't. Hopefully this will help you understand a little of what I feel inside; of how I think of you.

There's a story in your eyes

I can see the hurt behind your smile

For every sign I recognize another one escapes me.

Let me know what plagues your mind

Let me be the one to know you best;

Be the one to hold you up when you feel like you're sinking

Tell me once again what's beneath the pain you're feeling

Don't abandon me or think you can't be saved

I walk beside you

Where ever you are; what ever it takes

No matter how far

Through all that may come and all that may go

I walk beside you 2 x

Summon up your ghost for me

Rest your tired thoughts upon my hands

Step inside this scared place when all your dreams feel broken

Resonate inside this temple

Let me be the one who understands

Be the one to carry you when you can walk no further

Tell me once again what's below the surface bleeding

If you've lost your way I will take you in

I walk beside you

Where ever you are; what ever it takes

No matter how far

Through all that may come and all that may go

I walk beside you 2 x

Ohhhh when everything is wrong

Ohhhh when hopelessness surrounds you

Ohhhh somewhere rise again the time gets swept against

will carry you back home

So don't give up; don't give in

It took Tsuzuki fifteen minutes to read through the letter, his tears blurring the words. Each word was etched into his heart and a loving balm settled over old and ugly wounds, scars were kissed and his entire body tingled.

He gasped and dropped to his knees when slim arms hugged him from behind. Tsuzuki turned still on his knees and buried his face into Hisoka's warm slim stomach, muffling his sobs. His tears came harder and his trembling increased as Hisoka spoke with out hesitation.

"I love you Tsuzuki, for who you are. Not in spite of what you have done, or any of these silly faults but because of them. It is who you are and I wouldn't change any of it!" he murmured quietly into Tsuzuki's hair.

They stood like that as minutes ticked away. Their bond grew warmer until it enveloped them and warmed them like the sun until they were practically radiating. Love, affection and acceptance ran strong and clear between them.

Hisoka was running one hand gently in Tsuzuki's hair while the other traced small circles on his back. He felt more than heard the repeated "I love you" from Tsuzuki and he was…truly happy.

Tsuzuki nuzzled Hisoka's stomach and delighted in the slight clenching of muscles. Inspired he snuffled lower until his nose was touching the warm skin he uncovered and he slowly lifted his head taking the shirt with him. Tsuzuki kissed the warm flat stomach he had revealed and felt Hisoka gasp.

Smiling against the warm skin he couldn't help but to take a taste of the tempting flesh and he darted his tongue out for a long slow sweep and he nearly groaned at the taste of sweet hickory.

Hisoka gasped and his hand tightened in Tsuzuki's hair, to stop him or from pure shock even he didn't know. Tsuzuki stopped but did not pull away, it was Hisoka's choice whether they continues or not.

Slowly the hand clutching his hair relaxed and Hisoka resumed running his hand through the abundant chocolate hair. Tsuzuki released a content sigh and he continued to nuzzle the soft stomach. Tsuzuki delighted in the smooth warm back and the little wriggles when he found a sensitive spot.

A devilish smirk crossed Tsuzuki's face and he dipped his tongue in the intriguing belly button, Hisoka let out a surprised yip and stumbled back, tripping over the rug. S startled squeal resounded in the room followed by a soft thud. Hisoka blinked up into amethyst eyes that sparkled with amusement, affection and what Hisoka had come to know as clean strong passionate desire. A slow blush covered his face when he realized Tsuzuki was lying over him snugly between his legs.

Tsuzuki had one arm trapped between his body and the floor his warm hand cupping the back of his head and the other hand on the floor next to his head supporting his upper body. Hisoka couldn't move his arms from where they had landed over his head from flailing.

Slowly a hand came up and cupped one of Tsuzuki's cheeks and Hisoka lifted his head slowly to lick the trail a tear had left, tasting the slightly salty liquid. Tsuzuki murmured Hisoka's name and closed his eyes. He felt soft lips upon his and he sighed softly and felt a slow stirring of passion when he felt Hisoka slip his tongue in and touch his own briefly before jerking back still shy about starting anything.

Tsuzuki wasn't ready for it to end and he followed the quickly retreating tongue. Hisoka did not protest instead he wrapped his arms around his neck and participated parrying and rubbing his own tongue with Tsuzuki's.

Gasping for breath and more than a little hot Tsuzuki pulled back and stared down, his lust filled eyes drinking in the picture Hisoka made under him. Hisoka's cheeks were red tinged form passion and his lips swollen and red were parted his breathing ragged and eyes heavy lidded and dark with his own desire.

Tsuzuki bent his head and started trailing a blazing trail of kisses down Hisoka's neck until he met with the bunched up shirt. Growling in frustration he sat up quickly and in one quick move yanked the shirt off Hisoka and tossed it into a corner uncaring of where it landed. Before Hisoka could say anything he took his mouth in another passionate kiss running his hands over the soft and heated skin.

Hisoka wretched his head to the side gasping for breath Tsuzuki merely moved on to Hisokas ear nipping and sucking the lobe into his mouth. Hisoka moaned lightly and it encouraged Tsuzuki who moved lower down his throat creating little red marks where he bit gently in stinging bite only to sooth with a stroke of his tongue.

Reaching Hisoka's chest Tsuzuki slowly kissed his way down to one of the youth's nipple running teasing circles around it while his hand played with the other one tugging on the pink bud until it became hard.

Hisoka groaned at the sweet torture of whispery touches versus solid ones. He clutched Tsuzuki's head to him silently begging for more and Tsuzuki was more than happy to comply taking in the tight nub into his mouth were he bit hard enough to sting slightly before bathing it with his tongue. He quickly treated its twin to the same torture and was pleased when Hisoka arched his back.

His desire and Tsuzuki's was riding him hard and he rode the wave, he wanted tonight to be extra special and he knew his demons were just around the corner. He planned to burn them with the raging fire that was smoldering within him.

Hisoka felt his face burn more with what he was about to ask but...he needed it. "Tsu-zuki...could you… would you take off your sh-shirt?" he stuttered out. His desire within making him stutter more than his actual embarrassment. Tsuzuki froze over him and looked into green glazed eyes and a slow smile spread across his face.

He shifted until he was straddling Hisoka's hip he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside holding perfectly still as Hisoka slowly drank in the sight. They had seen each other with out shirts plenty of times before but this time was different, Tsuzuki could feel it.

Tsuzuki closed his eyes and moaned when soft curious hands began to roam his chest exploring. He fell forward, catching his weight on his hands causing Hisoka to emit a startled sound and snatch his hands back. Smiling softly Tsuzuki nuzzled the side of Hisoka's neck and whispered "It's fine love, do what you please."

Hesitantly Hisoka brought his hands back up to but Tsuzuki did not move back instead he began to nip and suck at any available inch he could, one hand trailing lazily but expertly across Hisoka's chest.

Just as Hisoka was getting comfortable with the rhythm Tsuzuki thrust down lightly rubbing his erection against Hisoka's and both cried out at the sensation. A deep hot desire went through both of them, their hunger feeding off each other and Tsuzuki did not hesitate to act upon it.

He moved down to take a pert nipple into his mouth and suck on it one hand toying with the other one pinching and rolling it around. Hisoka went mindless with the combined desire twisting and moaning. With a strangled scream Hisoka bucked up when a warm hand settled over his throbbing erection. A soft mewling sound followed soon after, fire running in his blood stream as Tsuzuki slowly stroked him through his jeans.

Lost in the sensation he did not hear the soft hiss of the zipper but snapped to attention when cold air hit him. Before he could protest Tsuzuki had pulled him free of his boxer and was slowly running a finger over him. Hisoka arched up and moaned desperately clinging to the nearly unbearable fire raging within, but old fears were hard to conquer.

A cold shadow crouched in the back of his mind began to stir and memories of Muraki and his cold hands touching him began to return the pain, torture and humiliation was becoming stronger. Hisoka whimpered and tried to hold on to Tsuzuki but the sudden rush of images overwhelmed him and he cried out in protest.

Tsuzuki groaned and sat up his cock near bursting and aching rather painfully. He had thought everything as going fine Hisoka was responding to his ministrations but he had misjudged. He scooped the boy up and placed him on his lap soothing the boy.

Hisoka was ashamed, he had hoped that he would be able to go through with it even if it did hurt he would endure it, for him, for Tsuzuki. Hisoka could pretend he liked it, and it wouldn't be a complete lie after all he did enjoy what Tsuzuki did to him but now…he had ruined it.

Taking a deep breath he steeled himself and placed a trembling hand on Tsuzuki's covered erection. Tsuzuki hissed and arched up involuntarily and Hisoka could feel that had caused Tsuzuki immeasurable pleasure, a strange painful pleasure, but not in a bad way. Determinedly he continued to stroke Tsuzuki through his pants feeling the older man double over and tremble.

Tsuzuki clutched Hisoka's shoulder a little too tightly and gasped out his name, pleasure racking his body. He knew Hisoka was frightened and he did not understand why the blond was doing this. Tsuzuki knew he had to stop Hisoka but it felt so good, blessed relief after months of having to fantasy and taking care of it himself in a cold shower made him weak.

It wasn't until badly shaking hands unzipped his pants and reached inside that he mustered enough strength to capture Hisoka's hands and pull them away. "Stop! Why.." Tsuzuki took in a deep breath trying to wrestle back the impulse to just throw Hisoka down and take him.

Hisoka caught that image and winced a little but he struggled to get his hands free to continue what he had been doing. He got that much from Tsuzuki, if he continued Tsuzuki would take him. Tsuzuki tightened his hold but not hard enough to hurt "Why are you doing this?" he asked hoarsely.

Hisoka forced the words out of his dry throat "Please."

Tsuzuki shuddered at the breathy plea but he knew Hisoka was not ready and yet… he was trying so hard, tears stung his eyes. "No."

Hisoka hung his head "You don't want me." he stated flatly.

A gentle hand raised his head but Hisoka would not look Tsuzuki instead he closed his eyes. A butterfly kiss made his eyes snap open. He took a sharp breath when he saw love and desire mixed with understanding in Tsuzuki's eyes. Hisoka burrowed closer to him.

Tsuzuki bumped his scantly clad erection against Hisoka's bottom "Of course I want you but only if you want me too. This isn't just about me or my desires Hisoka, its about us."

" I do want you, I feel it every time you kiss me but…" he trailed off helplessly his small hands balling into fist within the larger ones.

"Alright then." Was all Tsuzuki said before standing up carefully. Hisoka squeaked and clutched Tsuzuki's neck. He blinked when he was laid on the bed. "Let's try this again."

He slowly began to kiss his way down Hisoka's chest and zeroed in on one of the boys nipples knowing they were sensitive. Hisoka's mouth fell open in a silent cry and he closed his eyes. A hand began to stroke his side from his hip up to the underside of his arm over and over again sensitizing the skin.

Hisoka cried out when his semi hard cock rubbed against Tsuzuki's covered one, he thrust up wanting to prolong that feeling and felt Tsuzuki chuckle. Tsuzuki rubbed himself against Hisoka and both moaned at the sensation.

The older shinigami could feel Hisoka responding fire with fire and he fully merged them together. He feed his own hunger, his wants and needs to Hisoka's own stirring their passion higher. Hisoka was wriggling under him trying to sate the fire running rampant in his body and once again cried out when a hand took a firm hold on his aching cock.

A memory tried to crowd its way past the bliss but Tsuzuki caught it pushing it aside with an image of him and Hisoka snapped his eyes open to look up at Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki smiled "Think only of me, I won't hurt you"

Hisoka lowered his eyes for a fraction of a second before meeting Tsuzuki's eyes and smiled opening his mind, heart and body to him. Tsuzuki smiled in triumph and swooped down taking Hisoka's mouth in a hungry kiss. Hisoka wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki's back and hung on slowly parting his legs until Tsuzuki was once more snug between them. Both groaned at the sensation of their erections pressed tight against each other and Hisoka couldn't help rubbing against Tsuzuki's hardness, mindless with the need Tsuzuki created.

Tsuzuki's hands began to re explore Hisoka's body and with every sweep of his hands pushing the jeans down inch by inch. Frustrated by the constant ghostly stimulations against his oversensitive skin Hisoka began to wriggle out of the jeans tugging them down but stopped abruptly as his stiff member rubbed against Tsuzuki's own unclad one.

A deep reverting moan went through Hisoka as Tsuzuki's hip involuntarily pumped down seeking more friction. Another image of a silver haired man pushing against him flashed before his minds eyes before being driven away by Tsuzuki's love and affection. Using the distraction Tsuzuki quickly removed the jeans ands boxers in one swift move.

His mouth followed his hands. Tiny kisses rained down over him and Tsuzuki paid particular attention to every trigger spot that made him gasp and writhe. Tsuzuki's tongue dipped into his intriguing belly button as his hands made the slow journey down his smooth silky thighs and back familiarizing Hisoka with his touch.

Hisoka did the only thing he could do and hoping Tsuzuki understood. He willingly let go of all barriers and let the fire consume him, trusting Tsuzuki with everything he was. And oh what a pleasure it was. Something he had once heard but never understood; sweet surrender.

Tsuzuki felt something give way within Hisoka and soon he had a wild needy lover underneath him, reverent hands running over any part of his body that was within reach. Tsuzuki slowly kissed his way lower and waited to see if Hisoka would protest, seeing none he slowly licked the tip of Hisoka's cock and had to hold down the boys hips as he arched up with a strangled moan.

Hisoka felt the slow wet heat to the soles of his feet and he wanted more, he wanted to reap in any pleasure he could before the inevitable pain he knew was to come. Later he could feel ashamed of his actions but now, now was the time to enjoy. Taking a fistful of Tsuzuki's hair he moaned again hoping Tsuzuki got his message, not sure his vocal cords were working.

Tsuzuki grinned and held Hisoka's hips down against the bed as he slowly licked his way up from the base to the very tip and back paying attention to the barely discernable vein. He almost laughed out loud with relief and pleasure as Hisoka groaned and tried to arch his hips again.

Knowing he would not last long Tsuzuki placed an arm across Hisoka's hips and slowly stretched his arm up until his hand bumped into the drawer. Keeping the boy attention occupied with slow lazy licks, like one would take on a dripping ice cream cone, he opened the cabinet and rummaged around for the small vile. Wrapping his fingers around it he brought it back and had a difficult time uncapping it.

Not because he had t do it with one hand, oh no, the small mewling noises coming from Hisoka were driving him crazy. Not only that but the sweet salty taste of Hisoka was almost enough to make him come, but somehow he found a way to stave off, wanting Hisoka's true first time to be something he would never forget.

Sending a quick prayer he finally uncapped it and just as well he was about to explode. Coating his fingers he took a deep breath and took all of Hisoka's length into his mouth. Hisoka let out a little scream and his hips arched of the bed nearly chocking Tsuzuki. Moaning around the length in his mouth he felt Hisoka's muscle tighten and moved off a little in preparation.

Hisoka saw stars explode his body releasing the pent up pressure and his seed deep into Tsuzuki's mouth strangled mews erupted from his mouth. An odd sensation, a sharp burning mixed in with the pleasure but was quickly consumed by the mixed fires. Slowly he came back to himself to discover Tsuzuki gently licking clean his semi hard arousal and…two fingers in side of him.

His green eyes widened and he stiffened. "What did you…are you doing?" he cried out hoarsely. Tsuzuki looked up from his work his eyes brimming with satisfaction and desire "don't worry this is so it won't hurt, see?" he asked gently in a guttural voice.

Fighting to get his voice back despite the pleasure Hisoka stuttered out "But...it does-doesn't hurt. Why?"

Tsuzuki stopped completely a look if puzzlement slowly covering his features. "Did you think I was going to go through with this if it would hurt you?" Seeing the answer in Hisokas eyes his own narrowed slightly "And yet you would go through this?"

Slowly the fingers inside Hisoka began to move again "I understand why you would doubt me but make no mistake Hisoka, I would never take pleasure from your pain. I'll just have to show you." As he said so his fingers touched something within Hisoka that caused him to cry out.

But not in pain, gods no the pleasure was like nothing he had experienced. Hisoka was sucked back into the world were nothing but passion and pleasure ruled. It wasn't until he heard Tsuzuki calling out insistently to him and he felt oddly bereft that he managed to focus.

He saw deep lines etched in Tsuzuki's face, strain to hold back clear. Slowly he lifted a leaden hand to his cheek watching Tsuzuki close his eyes and stutter. This man, no this angel had done so much for him and he looked to be in pain and all Hisoka wanted to do was make it all go away.

"I want you…" Tsuzuki managed to say between gritted teeth, sweating profusely in his effort to not hurt his younger partner "I want you looking at me."

Slowly Hisokas other hand rose to loosely circle his neck and his legs widened further to accommodate Tsuzuki. Hisoka felt something much larger and thicker than a finger probing his entrance and a flash of fear went through him before he forced it away and locked his gaze with Tsuzuki's, nodding once he felt Tsuzuki slowly push in.

He tried not to wince at the burning feeling of being stretched but it was not unbearable, slightly pleasing. But Tsuzuki must have noticed something because he stopped his breathing heavy and erratic his muscles trembling with the effort to not just pound into the incredibly tight and warm channel.

Hisoka frowned slightly and pushed up gasping at the burning feeling as Tsuzuki moaned at the incredible feeling of being surrounded. Neither moved, savoring the feeling as much as giving Hisoka time to adjust but the greedy need would not be denied and the smoldering fire erupted.

Tsuzuki pulled out and thrust back in both groaning loudly at the sensation of feeling each others pleasure. Soon a rhythm as old as time took over them and Hisoka felt no fear only joy, love and passion for his lover. Tsuzuki was careful to keep his strokes steady and slow but it was a tremendous effort however he did not want to frighten Hisoka their first time.

Hisoka caught the fleeting image and smiled. He slowly wrapped his legs around Tsuzuki and began to thrust up moaning encouragingly at Tsuzuki, still cautiously Tsuzuki thrust faster and slightly harder seeing Hisoka close his eyes and arching his back, the legs around him tightening he speed up even more.

Soon all that could be heard were passionate cries mixed with soft breathy please for more, harder. The sound of flesh hitting flesh and hard breathing did not last very long before the lovers cries out each others names in absolute rapture.

Dawn crept into the room to spill over the sleeping couple. Hisoka had his arm flung across Tsuzuki's chest, his head pillowed on the older mans shoulder as Tsuzuki had an arm possessively across Hisoka's waist his hand resting on the boys hip. The sheets, tangled as they were, barely covered their hips showing tantalizing peeks at their entwined legs.

The most beautiful and tender feature how ever were the blissful smile of the couple as they dreamt of a full and long loving lives together in each others arms for the rest of eternity. The silver matching rings with emerald and amethyst stones centers caught the early morning light and glittered brilliantly a silent reminder of their unwavering love.

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(1) First love