Dear Santa, I Can Explain...
Warnings: Language, yaoi kissing, crude humor, alcohol consumpiton in excess
A/N: Appriciate this! This chapter is NINE PAGES! And over two thousand words! I'm glad this is the finale, but at the same time I'm sad to see it go. sniff
Chapter 22 A Party and an Ending
Why is there a cab in my driveway? Seto wondered. The vehicle, apparently having already dispatched its passenger began to slowly work its way down the icy drive that led to Kaiba Manor.
Seto frowned as the luridly painted car passed him but continued to his front door. It was unlocked. He was supposed to call if something went wrong.
"Katsu?" he called pushing the large door open.
A mechanized voice was telling someone, presumably the CEO's blonde lover, that they'd listened to all of the messages on the machine.
The brunette heard Jou before he saw the other the sound of running was his only warning before…
He was punched in the face?
"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yelled honestly unsure if he was angry or just plain confused. He hadn't been hit by the other male since before high school graduation.
Jou on the other hand looked positively livid, "You were going to be here, for the next three days, all ALONE?" It was not a question really, because the blonde obviously knew the answer.
No point in denying it, hopefully he would be well thought of after his death. "Yes."
His puppy huffed and promptly tackled the taller male, "You idiot. You coulda come with me. She wouldn't have minded." He kissed the cheek that had been subject to his rage, "I didn't mean to hit ya."
"I've gotten worse," Seto told him, "from you, actually. Now, why are you home early and how did you find out?"
"Aw my uncle showed up and kinda killed the whole bonding thing, I didn't want to be the cause of anything, and besides we got everything worked out. By the way thanks for the locket. I love it."
The brunette smiled, "I thought you would. But what about my second question, puppy?"
"Everybody left messages on the machine saying that their plans fell through and now they can come."
"WHAT?"
Jou checked his watch, "Actually, they'll be here in a few-"
DING-DONG!
He chuckled sheepishly, "Then again my watch has always been a little slow…"
The door was pushed open, "Kaiba-boy!" Pegasus exclaimed upon seeing the pair sprawled on the marble floor, "I understand you two love each other, but really! Such things are best left in the bedroom."
Seto looked furious, but Katsuya offered a weak, "Hi, Pegasus" out of politeness before climbing to his feet, hauling his boyfriend up afterwards.
The brunette found a bottle of wine promptly shoved into his hands, "Not to be insulting, Kaiba-boy but I highly doubt one of your youth has acquired the taste required to select fine wine, so I brought my own!"
Seto looked like he was strangling the bottle, "Of course you weren't being insulting…" he snarled viciously.
It was possibly quite fortuitous for Pegasus that the ski expedition returned at that time, dragging their luggage with them.
"Man, Seto!" Mokuba told him, "You wouldn't BELIEVE the blizzard that sprung up."
Noa nodded, "Yeah it was the weirdest thing too, all of the snow was right around the roads, and heading home it was totally clear."
Professor Hawkins looked apologetic, "I hope our return doesn't put too much of a damper on your plans."
Jou waved it aside, "Don't worry about it, I can guarantee Seto's plans weren't ruined." Here he shot a poisonous glance at his lover which went ignored.
Pegasus seemed to decide to play host for a bit for he exclaimed, "Professor Arthur Hawkins! A pleasure to meet you at last! I must say I've heard a fair amount about you from your granddaughter. You know I'm a bit of an amateur Egyptologist myself."
"Amateur is right," Seto grumbled.
"Oh Kaiba-boy are you still here?"
"It's my house!"
"Humph, well do something useful and get some glasses for that wine. From what I've seen you're making a terrible host."
I'll kill that bastard! I'll bludgeon him to death with his own goddamn wine!
"Um, why is everyone in the entryway, Kaiba-kun?" Yugi asked, having entered with his yami and grandfather in tow through the still open door.
Pegasus gasped in an entirely far too dramatic manner and cried, "Why Kaiba-boy how uncouth! Not even inviting us in? You brute!"
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO-"
"Seto! Why don't you see about that booze?" Jou cried shoving his boyfriend in the direction of the kitchen.
(Meanwhile in Kaiba's kitchen)
Merv grunted in satisfaction as he surveyed his work, the food was prepared, wine was chilled, sodas were available for the underage or alcohol intolerant, all that was left was for someone to carry it all out to the dining room or wherever the food was going to be served.
"Stupid Pegasus, barging into people's houses like he owns them…"
The elf froze as a certain CEO's grumblings paused upon seeing the food laid out on the kitchen island.
"What the-" footsteps approached the counter hurriedly and Merv was grateful that he was on the other side of the island, invisible from Seto's point of view. But then-
"Achoo!" Damn.
"Who's there?"
The elf stayed silent. Seto began to prowl around the island and Merv shuffled around the other way as quickly as he could but it seemed that Seto's prowl was faster.
"HOLD IT!"
A strong grip pulled the small creature to the brunette's eyelevel. "What the hell are you?"
Well, nothing to be gained by lying, "An elf."
An eyebrow was raised, "Riiight. I'm really supposed to believe that, instead of making shoes, elves are making dinner now?"
"Well, excuse me! But your wish required more hands on! Healing people, calling in favors from Mr. Frost…"
"My what?"
"Wish," he answered while fervently hoping he had the magic in him to at least transport himself outside, he couldn't reach his pouch of magic dust the way he was being held aloft.
"Hey, Seto?" The addressed turned toward the door. Jou poked his head in. "What's taking so- WHOA! Who made the food?"
"He di-" when Seto turned back to face his captive, the self-proclaimed elf was gone, and all he held in his hand was an envelope with the name Seto Itsuki on it. The CEO began looking around frantically.
"Uh, lose something?"
"Katsu, did you see a midget run out of here?"
"A midget?"
"Is there an echo in here? Yes a fat, bald midget with a scraggly beard who looked like a hobo!"
The blonde eyed the bottle in Seto's hand, "You haven't broken into that yourself have you?"
Glaring lightly he assured the other, "It's still full, Katsu."
"Seto, why would a midget be in the kitchen?"
"Apparently, he was making the food."
"Uh-huh. And where is he now?"
"I don't know!"
"Oookaay, what's in the envelope then?"
Seto paused, glanced at said item, grew pale at the name on it, and slowly tore it open.
Dear Seto,
I know it's been a long time since you asked, but it takes time for such familial ties to form. They're dysfunctional, weird, and crazy but, whether you admit it or not, you care about them, and would be lost without your new family.
Signed,
Nick, Saint Nick
"Seto?" Jou asked.
"Practical joke," the brunette told him, tearing the note and throwing it into the garbage can.
"You look pale."
"I thought it was something else. Here," he said, "help me carry some of this stuff out."
(A few hours later)
"I'll never be able to listen to that song with a straight face again," Honda commented.
"I'll never be able to look at Bakura with a straight face again," Seto muttered half to himself. Though judging by a few murmurs of agreement he was louder than he thought.
No one knew where Bakura had found the tattered old Santa hat, nor how he knew the lyrics to Marilyn Monroe's 'Santa Baby', but people could guess where he'd found enough alcohol to get drunk enough to sing said song, surprisingly well, while wearing said Santa hat.
Marik and Malik laughed uproariously, as Bakura followed the performance by mistaking Moto-san for Santa and planting himself in the man's lap, loudly asking for toys of an adult nature until Ryo dragged his dark off a now-traumatized game shop owner.
Seto and Jou thought it was funny as well until their siblings asked what exactly said items were for.
"I'll tell you when you can stop giggling at the diagrams in the Sexual Education chapter in your health book," Seto told his brothers dryly.
"Ask Oba-san," Jou told Shizuka, "but tell her you heard it from a random drunk in passing."
Fortunately, Rebecca had simply burst into a fit of giggles and it didn't even cross her mind to ask, much to the Professor's obvious relief.
"I am confused," Rishid admitted, "why did Bakura ask for a flightless bird that is extinct?"
Everyone stared at him in confusion for a minute until Otogi said, "No, he said dildo, Rishid, not dodo."
"Ah, yes that makes sense. But what purpose would it serve to get jewelry for a rooster?"
That one took a minute, but Malik eventually said, "That's not what a cock ring is, brother."
"Then what…?"
Ishizu patted his hand, "Maybe I'll tell you when you're older."
The poor Egyptian looked even more confused when those who knew what said item was burst out laughing. At least until Marik leaned over and whispered in his ear; then he simply looked greatly disturbed.
"W-why would they-? Mistress Ishizu, would you be so kind as to hand me the wine?"
"If you want, Rishid," Marik offered, "hikari and I can show you later!"
"NO!" the man cried, "I assure you, Master Marik, that is highly unnecessary!"
Marik shrugged, "Your loss."
Seto chuckled as he took a sip of his wine, even he had to grudgingly admit, that Pegasus knew his grapes.
"Excuse me, Marik-san?" Shizuka asked, "Could you show me later? I'm kind of curious myself."
Seto choked, spraying the beverage everywhere. Jou quickly stood up and bellowed his disapproval.
"I don't think your brother approves," Malik said dryly, "I know I sure as hell don't! And I'm not even a responsible human being!"
Seto continued to choke, causing great alarm, until everyone realized what was really happening.
He was laughing.
It wasn't a chuckle; it wasn't malicious; it wasn't a cackle. It was laughter. And everyone in the room was astonished.
He quickly composed himself, but everyone was staring by the time he stopped, he quickly coughed and muttered something about paper towels, before beating a hasty retreat.
Shizuka glanced around nervously in his absence and asked in the dead silence of the living room, "Did I say something wrong?"
That did it.
Everyone in the room, save Shizuka, burst into hysterics. Yugi was having difficulty breathing by the time Kaiba returned with a handful of paper towels to mop up the liquid he'd sprayed.
When he looked at the girl, quizzical eyebrow raised, all she could do was shrug.
(A few more hours later)
It's got to be the wine, Seto told himself, I'm completely wasted and that's why I'm enjoying myself so much. Unfortunately, even being able to reason that out blew gaping holes in his own theory.
But he couldn't think of another explanation, he had never enjoyed himself this much in such company before. He tolerated them, yes, but he'd never really enjoyed himself.
Now, though…
A few moments had ground his nerves (most of them involving Pegasus) but he felt comfortable in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. It reminded him of the way he felt around Jou and his brothers only… warmer, almost.
Like that feeling had been multiplied exponentially.
He peered alternately into the depths of his, -what? Fourth, fifth? - wineglass and around the room at his fellow partygoers. Occasionally, he would smile or laugh at the actions or words of his companions. Once or twice he interjected a comment into the conversations closest to him.
It was another few minutes of this before he realized what it was.
He felt… at home… like part of a family… it was large, dysfunctional, weird and even crazy; it had crazy uncles, and people to turn to for advice, it had those he'd offer a kidney to if he could, and there were petty sibling rivalries.
"My wish…" he whispered, so softly that he barely heard himself.
"Hey, guys!" Yugi called, "Let's get the picture taken before anyone leaves!"
Shaking himself from his startling realization Seto stood and after setting his glass down moved to the tree for the annual photo shoot.
He and Jou took their usual places near the back, being among some of the taller people there, around them stood Rishid, Mai, Honda, Ishizu, and Pegasus. Rebecca was setting up the camera and after glancing through the viewfinder took her seat in the front row.
Looking at her laptop which was connected to the camera she was able to position everyone, zoom, and trigger the photo without having anyone run to get into the shot.
"Ishtar-san, I need you to move a little closer to everyone else."
Rishid moved accordingly.
"Okay I think that, Oh! Kaiba-kun Jou-kun! Mistletoe!" she cried with far too much glee.
""Eh?"" The two asked simultaneously before looking up to see the girl was correct.
Seto smirked wickedly before gripping the blonde around the waist and, bending forward, kissed the slightly surprised man breathless to hoots of encouragement, laughter, and the flash of Rebecca's camera.
"Nice shot everyone!" the girl congratulated.
"Rebecca!" someone cried.
"Take another one!"
In the back, Jou looked, shocked, at his boyfriend, "What was that for?" he panted.
Seto just shrugged, "I wanted to."
And then the most amazing thing happened, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp., the Ice Prince himself, smiled.
No, smile doesn't do it justice, Jou thought, he grinned, grinned like an absolute idiot. And as the camera flashed again, all Katsuya Jonuchi could think was, He should grin like that more often.
(Kaiba Manor, 12:30 a.m.)
Everyone had gone home hours ago, the younger siblings of Seto and Jou were sleeping in their own rooms, and the elder two were curled on the couch closest to the fireplace in the living room.
Jou was fast asleep; he didn't even notice that his pillow was writing a note that consisted of one word on a piece of Kaiba Corp. letterhead although the Kaiba Corp. symbols were crossed out.
He folded the paper in half, wrote a name on it, and carefully eased his boyfriend off of him and then down onto the couch.
Walking the few steps to the hearth Seto pulled a lighter from his pocket and lit the paper on fire then threw it into the grate. As it burned the word was visible: Thanks. It was signed Seto Itsuki and addressed to one St. Nick…
As he settled back down onto the couch with his lover, he heard bells pass by overhead and he smiled a soft, secret smile before whispering to no one, and every one, "Merry Christmas."
-OWARI-
A/N Ha! I beat my backup deadline by one day! No epilouge so don't beg! PLEASE DON'T BEG! This story is over! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it!