Maid Number 167 Chapter 10: Dangerous Voice, a naruto fanfic

Heyo fellow prisoners... is it just me.. or does KISHI FRICKING SUCKS!!! Seriously... destroy Konoha? Somebody just shoots me. (SPOILERS ALERT)

So you see, during these past few weeks, I have been mulling over what a tragedy Naruto has been and have been counting the characters that Kishi killed with my ten fingers. And lets see… so far… he has killed… A HECK LOT OF PEOPLE.

But yes, of all the dead people… I dearly miss Jaraiya and Kakashi the most… (I still refuse to believe the latter is dead…) so… I decided to dedicate today's eyecatch to our pervy senin. Which means..

WARNING: PERVERTED I-CATCH UP AHEAD!!

V O I C E

Sasuke knew he could never count on having his plans go smoothly. There were always these annoying setbacks that comes along his way. And just when he felt like maybe...just maybe his plan might go smoothly, Karin just had to bounce her way up to him and link hands with him for all to see that after-school.

"Babe, let's go to your house today." She self-invited herself.

Does this girl have no shame?!! He groaned and nodded reluctantly. With Karin strutting by his side looking down on the entire awestricken female passerby, he rolled his eyes as he went over his current situation. It did not help with Suigetsu prowling behind the back of his minds. Sure they were best buddies; they go way way back in a peculiar kind of way. But hey, never threaten a man especially his property.

Karin, much as he would hate to admit it, was technically the only property that Suigetsu laid his hands off of. Lucky him. He actually asked the silver-haired man before as to why he never tried to woo the red-head, but all he got was a grunt and a shrug.

"So what do you think about that red satin dress I bought last week?"

"W-What?" He jerked his clueless attention towards his girlfriend.

"Are you even listening Sasuke?" She pouted.

"Uh my bad, I had something on my mind."

"Really? That's rare, what's bothering you?"

"Why don't I give you a ride to my house?" Sasuke calmly changed the subject as he opened the passenger seat door for her.

Karin, who didn't really sense any threat to Sasuke's thoughts, just smiled and stepped into his car. "Sure, I already called my servant to take my car home anyway."

"Aa." He kept a tight grin as he closed the door as gently as he could. Does this girl seriously have no shame?!

(AN: Skip the I-Catch part if you hate perverted graphic stuff.)

I-Catch v5.0 (Special Ad) - Jaraiya Jaraiya

Middle Name: Sexy.

Alias: Pervert.

Age: The age of sexiness.

Hobby: Pursuing the ultimate sexiness.

Occupation: A writer. (Wait… that sounds too normal.) .... Occupation: A sexy writer. Oh yeah baby.

So kid, have you ever wanted to throw your water gun away because it sucked balls?

...Yes.

Have you ever wished you could just kill that kid next door for randomly blasting you with his latest oh-so-shiny water-blaster that his parents bought for his birthday?

Yes.

Have you ever wished you could just break that little kid's latest oh-so-shiny water-blaster because that stupid little kid can't stop bragging and blinding you with its shininess to your face?

YES.

Have YOU ever wished you could just have one of those latest oh-so-shiny water-blaster of your own?!

OMG YES! YES!

HAVE YOU EVER WISHED YOU HAD A TOOL TO MASTERBATE?!

HELL YE--What??......

Well lad! I have just what you need. You're very own latest oh-so-shiny water-cannon (ooh be scared, be very scared) that can shoot water up to ten meters away! Behold… I call this extraordinary creation... THE TITTY BUSTER!!

.....

That's right, be shocked and leave that jaw hanging. This little buster is guaranteed to let everyone in your neighborhood drool including adults! It will make you increase your sexiness by ninety-nine point nine percent (in case if there are a few minor setbacks) AND it will definitely blind that stupid little kid next door with its hellish milk jets! So what are you waiting for?! Start dialing 1-800-TITTY-BUSTER today and order a package of your very own! The funds are non-returnable and the milk and gun are sold separately. Not suitable for ages thirteen and below.

Do you think you have what it takes to be on top? (winks)

Uchiha Mansion – 4:00 pm

Upon arriving to the grand halls of the mansion, Sasuke prayed that Sakura had her wig on. They have been through the procedures at least a thousand times before. Every time Sasuke come's back from school, Sakura was to check if he had brought any of his classmates over and if so, she has to go put on her wig so that she wouldn't attract any attention.

Haruno...you better have your wig on...I'll skin you alive if Karin sees your hair... He prayed. Nicely.

But it wasn't until a few minutes after they rested in front of his big plasma TV in his room, when Mina came in to greet them which stroked a few question marks on top of his head.

Mina? He arched an eyebrow. He hadn't seen his chief maid since...forever. And sadly, if she hadn't shown herself right at the moment, he would've forgotten her existence already.

"My master, Maid 167 says she's busy right at this moment and asked me to take her place today." The head maid said with a graceful curtsey.

"Of course." He nodded slowly and eyed his staff. Since when have I told Sakura to do something else when I'm gone...

Mina however, smiled and continued to act like nothing was wrong and brought forth some 1967 wine with two glass goblets. Karin's eyes narrowed as she watched the maid slowly pour the red liquid into the clear glass. She recognized this maid. This brat was always the one who would glare at her whenever she visited and stick to Sasuke like glue wherever he went.

If she remembered correctly, Sasuke had made her the head maid of the mansion sometime ago. Which probably means...she and Sasuke have some history together...Well now...let's see about that...She smiled back in the same sort of plastic smile as she accepted the glass of wine from her.

"Babe, I see your staff improved by quite a bit. It's not everyday a mere maid knows just what type of wine that I like." Karin complimented sweetly while swirling the wine inside the goblet.

"Hn."

"So what's her name? I've seen her couple of times before when I came to your house to play around." She said casually, watching in delight as Mina's hand semi curled up into a fist.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that there was some sort of cold war going on in the room. And Sasuke was quite aware of this. He was also quite aware that he told Karin who Mina was a couple of months ago when she flipped out after seeing Mina wearing one of his shirts at night. As to how Mina got his shirt, he didn't know. But that incident caused him a heck lot of trouble and he knew that he did not want to go through that mess again.

"She's my head maid, Mina." He answered, going with the flow.

"Mina?" Karin echoed.

"That's me miss." The maid gave her a toothy smile that was probably as fake as toys.

"I'm hungry. Get me some roasted chicken salad with Thousand Island sauce on it." The red-head ordered while lifting up her bare legs and resting it on Sasuke's lap. No one can deny how attractive her legs were but the fact that they belonged to Karin.... Meh.

Where the hell are you Sakura?

Laundry Room

Sakura knew she shouldn't be surprised to find herself in the same predicament as one month ago: washing clothes in the laundry room. Though by now, she had somewhat conquered her phobia of identical boxers and maid uniforms. Holding up a maid skirt that belonged to some chick numbered fifty-five, she threw it carelessly into the number four dryer.

So the real question was...how did she get herself into her situation?

Simple.

Mina.

She had been making Sasuke's bed that morning like every good maid should when she received a surprise visit from her leader who ordered her to do a series of task. With Sasuke gone, there was no one who could stop her so not knowing what to do, she complied with her in the end and followed obediently.

Besides, she needed to do some personal laundry anyway and she was sure Sasuke could handle a couple of hours without her.

Master's Bedroom

"Here's your salad Miss. Karin. Freshly roasted chicken with our newest imported Thousand Is-"

"AHHHH!!"

"Oopsie."

-Groans-

Sasuke sank low to his couch as Mina 'accidentally' tripped and spilt the whole bowl of salad onto Karin causing her to scream in anger. To make the situation worse, Mina 'fell' (more like throw) herself onto him in the process causing Karin to turn even more red.

"You little BITCH!" She screamed, covered in salad dressing and lettuces.

"I'm so sorry Miss, it was an accident." The servant replied innocently.

"SASUKE!" Karin roared.

Sasuke heaved a sigh as he pushed Mina off and rubbed his temples. This is why he never dated or bothered having a real relationship. He hates obsessive girls.

- Insert Sakura – Speak for yourself!

"Mina, get out of the room right now." He ordered tiredly.

The head maid looked at him with a hurt expression before turning her heels to leave.

"If I see your stickin shit of a face again-"Karin muttered.

ARGH I HAD ENOUGH! Mina screamed in her mind as she jerked around with an angry face. "Sir, excuse me. But I will not leave this room especially with this slut around."

"ME?! Slut?! Why don't you look in the mirror yourself? Tripping and landing on Sasuke like that. HA! Give me a break." Karin scoffed loudly. "Sasuke, I demand this bitch to be fired!"

"SIR! If you fire me, I will te-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH you two." Sasuke interrupted abruptly and glared angrily at the two madwomen.

Mina just smirked bitterly knowing she had pulled the trigger.

"Karin, get yourself clean and I'll take you home in ten minutes. As for you..." Sasuke said coldly, roughly grabbing his maid by the arm and pulled her out of the room before both women could protest.

"Do you plan to lose your job?" He hissed once they were out.

"No sir."

"Then what is it that you want?"

Upon hearing the question, Mina's eyes couldn't help but tear up as she searched those cold black eyes. Wasn't it obvious?

"...I want you." She whispered.

Sasuke groaned and combed his hair with his hands. Of course she wants me...like ten million fricken girls out there...

"Listen Mina, the screwing that we did before? That means nothing alright? Just forget about it."

Truthfully speaking, he was feeling downright guilty for giving Mina false impressions. He thought it was obvious that all of his playboy nature was just a hoax and that none of it was meant to be real.

"What are you saying..."

"Damnit, why can't you-"

A kiss from his head maid was totally unexpectedly uncalled for. For a few seconds, Sasuke just stood there stunned as the female grabbed his head passionately and started French kissing him. "G-Get a hold of youself!" He growled against her lips which made her horny. Ignoring his resistence, she just continued planting wet kissed against his lips savoring every moment.

"Mina stop. STOP god damnit."

Damn. Now she had made him angry.

"Mina, what do I have to fucking say to make you realize that I don't love you?" He scowled, holding onto her shoulders to restrain her from advancing.

"N-No, that's not true. You still love me. You still love me. T-That's not true." She sobbed.

"Get a hold of yourself woman. Our past is history. None of it meant anything."

"No...No...NO!"

"MINA! If you don't accept this right now...I am going to fire you."

Damnit. People should just call him god right there. He didn't want to be nice but he had no choice. To ease his conscience, not firing the girl was the only way he could think of for screwing around with her.

"...."

Hearing no reply, Sasuke looked intently at the chestnut girl's silent expression. Sighing deeply, he slowly let go of her and prepared to head back into his room to pick up Karin. "I want you to clean up the mess in my room after this and take th day off tomorrow."

"I'm not going to give up."

He turned around. "....what?"

"I'm not going to give up." She repeated. But this time, her words were louder. Clearer. Stronger.

Sasuke couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. "Are you a fool?"

"No sir." Her lips quivered, but she quickly bit on them to stable them again."And let me tell you this my master, I still don't accept your rejection and if you fire me, I will tell them all about Maid 167, Haruno Sakura."

"Is that a threat?"

Mina jolted slightly at the response. She wasn't expecting such a icy, calm tone from him. It scared her. The way his voice dramatically lowered and his gaze as still as a grave. Nonetheless, she willed herself to be strong. She firmly believed in the saying, hard work goes without pay.

"Y-Yes."

"Tch. Do whatever you want Number One." Her master brushed her off coolly and left for his room without further notice, leaving her to run to her room for refuge.

Sasuke's Car

"So what happened to that girl." Karin asked tersely, after a long moment of silence.

"She is on the verge of being demoted from the position as head maid and I will find a suitable punishment for her when I have time." He lied.

"I thought I said I wanted her fired."

"Karin, I can't just fire servants without my dad's permission."

Again, another lie.

"But-"

"Enough said. We arrived Karin." Sasuke interrupted mercilessly. "I'll make it up to you for what happened today."

"You better." She grunted and went out of the car in anger. Sasuke is being unfair and he fricken knows it. He owes me big time...

Uchiha Mansion – Maid Sect - 12:30 am

Sakura hummed happily as she pranced down the hallway clad in only underwear and a piece of thin towel. It was all thanks to Mina really – for relieving her of her duties with that stinkin' Uchiha. It had been a long time since she felt this free and the fact that she forgot to bring her personal laundry back to her room didn't bother her at all. She could just borrow pajamas from Banana and fetch her clothes tomorrow. No sweat. Her shower felt extra good too. It was one of those late showers again where everyone was asleep and the bathroom was free of any other life form. Well, expect for that stinkin' mosquito that tried to attack her left buttocks. But, aside from that everything else was good.

She had already planned out her schedule for the rest of the night. First, she was going to call Ino and tell her about her fabulous day minus the laundry and the mosquito. Second, she was going to study study and study andddddd then she was going to sleep and have an awesome dream that's completely chicken-free.

The taste of freedom sure felt good.

After arriving to her room, she quietly opened her door and tiptoed in only to let out a silent scream. Not this again...

"Nice view." Sasuke smirked, cushioning his head with his hands.

"I-Y-You-Wha-" She stammered aimlessly as her hands immediately shot up towards her chest and her face turn beat red. OF ALL THE TIME IN THE WORD, HE CHOSE TO FRICKIN COME TO MY ROOM WHEN I'M FUCKIN HALF NAKED!! ARGH...crap happens to me...

"Get out now Uchi-"

"You..." Sasuke interrupted with a low voice and shot up from her bed. Sakura cursed herself for letting a small yelp escape from her mouth at the man's sudden movement. Her head jerked towards Banana's direction in alarm - she hoped they weren't making a ruckus. No movement. Thank God Banana was a heavy sleeper.

"Look Uchiha-" Sakura threatened but was cut off when her master closed in and dropped his head on top of her bare shoulders.

Er...is this rape? She raised an eyebrow.

"You idiot...I'm so tired because of you."

"Uhh....huh?"

"Where the hell were you this afternoon?" He whispered making Sakura really confused. His voice was even more confusing to her. He sounded...sad?! ...vulnerable?

"U-Um...what happened?" She asked hesitantly and restrained herself from shaking as Sasuke gently enclosed her with his arms. Did someone's pet turtle die?...

"I'm so tired Sakura."

Ok....he said my name. He's serious about this. This is bad.

She knew she would slap herself a thousand times after what she was about to do, especially when she's only clad in a towel, but they say a best cure to sadness is...a hug? Putting down her guard to the best of her ability, she slowly moved her hands from her chest to around his back.

"It's ok Sasuke." She said in her best soothing voice. My god, I'm in a fudging towel!

"Really?"

Freeze.

Oh my fuc-

D-Did she just feel a smirk against her skin? His voice sounded so innocent and sad that could easily deceive anyone. But not his smirk.

"U-Uchiha, let go of me now."

"Why Sakura? You caused me a lot of trouble today. Do you know how tired you have made me? You owe me two massages now."

"But I haven't done anything!" She growled in protest, withdrawing her hands and violently pushed against Sasuke's chest. However it was no use. She was locked.

"Oh really? Who gave you permission to switch with Mina today?"

"Umm... Uhh.. hey, you're being unfair-woo-ahhh!" She yelped as Sasuke grabbed her by the waist and carried her to his room. She thanked God that Banana was still asleep.

"Sasuke, put me down now. This isn't funny." Sakura spat and almost screamed when he dropped her roughly onto his bed. This says rape all over! Her mind yelled as her body curled up protectively in a fetal position.

"You're annoying."

"Eh?" She peered over her arm and saw Sasuke unbuttoning his school uniform while searching through the closet.

"Wha-Whatt did I do?! I don't even know what I'm doing wrong." She sat up angrily only to have pieces of clothing thrown in her face.

"Well first, you could've worn some clothes after you showered instead of prancing about, naked in the hallways. What if someone else sees you?!"

"Not naked, half-naked Sasuke. And the only pervert that saw me was YOU. Besides, if you must know, I forgot to bring back my clothes when I was doing laundry. If you hadn't barge in and pulled off that stupid puppy stunt like that, I would've borrowed Banana's clothes and gotten dressed already." She said sarcastically, furiously pulling on his shirt. She wasn't an idiot and didn't need to be told that the clothes were meant for her to wear.

"Whatever."

"So ever." She stuck her tongue out. "Turn around Uchiha. I'm changing."

"Jeez, it's not like your body is worth anything to watch."

Her jaws dropped. "Y-You...." Jamming her legs inside his oversized basketball shorts, she grabbed the nearest pillow and...

"Missed." Sasuke smirked and stared at the pillow that now lay on the floor, approximately three meters from him.

"Why thank you for informing me." Sakura huffed, watching him as he picked up his pillow and came towards her.

"No problem, now I'm going to sleep."

"Hey hey! You dirty bastard, you haven't even taken a shower yet!"

"I'm tired, I'll shower in the morning...unless you want to help me take a shower right now."

-Smirk-

"Idiot-Gahh!"She yelped some more as Sasuke collapsed on top of his bed, bringing her down with him.

Ok...so what if he smells good even if he hasn't taken a shower yet...

Inner Sakura: Yeah, so what!

She felt her face burn as Sasuke draped an arm across her shoulder with one hand and closed the light with the remote control with the other.

"Uchiha if you think I'm going to sleep with you again, then you are so-"

"Jeez, can you just shut up for one minute woman?"

Sakura felt like she could punch his face a thousand times at that moment. EXCUSE ME?!

"Bastard."

"Heh, you know Haruno...I think the reason why I like you so much is because you hate me... unlike them."

"Huh?" Her eyes widened in surprise. She wasn't expecting that sort of response. What?! He? Like? Hate? Them?!

"W-What do you mean?! W-Who's them?!"

-Snore-

"........Bastard."

Fin

Holy frick, longest chapter yet haha. Though not much fluff which makes it mehh. I'm sorry about the slow progress. It can even put House Bunny to shame which I saw two days ago. (Sorry, House Bunny fans...although I did like the part where Shelley was like, "You guys, your eyes are like the nipples on your face." HAHAHAH, that was hilarious.)But ahem, yar.... Happy Holidays people haha. I decided to bring Mina back since she kinda disappeared in the past chapters.

But anyways, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Woot! It has been approximately one year since I started this maid project and I could not have gotten this far without you! So thank you!! Lovers to Never will be coming up shortly and so is Miss. Understood. Hopefully before the new years. So stay tuned!!

Thanks for your support and if you have noticed, I semi re-edited every chapter of this fic. Yes, every chapter hehe. So enjoy! And I hope you have an awesome holiday!

Updated on December 25, 2008