Chapter Eighteen

'Betcha didn't see that comin!'
'No, no—that was a real frisbee to the head, that one.'
- Desperate Housewives

'You?'

Everyone was staring at him in disbelief. None moreso than Ernie Macmillan, who probably would have been screaming his head off if he had motor control of his jaw, which had fallen open since Zacharias flounced Draco downstairs and made the announcement. Terry had his hand clamped over his mouth and his cousin was cowering behind him, watching Ernie like he was a madman.

Susie hadn't been in the same room as Draco since the night at the pub and was still locked in her room upstairs. Theodore looked amused; Potter looked positively horrified. Draco was torn between feeling annoyed and extremely smug. Luna, tucked behind the latest edition of The Quibbler, seemed to be the only one who sincerely did not give a damn either way.

'There has to be some sort of mistake.'

Ernie had regained his voice, but Draco cut him off before he could get going. 'That's my name on the parchment, Macmillan.'

'This is insane!' Ernie hissed, glaring at him. 'You weren't even first in our year!'

'No, that was Hermione,' Zacharias pointed out, seeming very proud to deliver the facts. 'I was second. You were third,' he said, pointing at Macmillian. 'Malfoy was like, tenth, or something.'

'Thanks, Smith,' Draco said darkly.

'So what has he got that I don't?' Ernie demanded over him.

'Great hair,' Zacharias suggested, giving Draco a once-over and smirking.

Potter snorted. 'Not to mention that he's a pompous, snivilling git—'

'Careful, Potter,' Draco said, smirking. 'I'll start keeping a tally of how many points you've lost and deduct them before you've even had a chance to earn any.'

'Careful, Malfoy,' Potter returned, 'just because you've got that badge doesn't mean I can't kick your teeth in.'

'What do you think, Smith,' Draco interrupted. 'Ten points from Gryffindor per bodily threat?'

'Better make it twenty,' Zacharias advised.

'This is insane!' Ernie hissed again. 'And extremely unfair!'

'Oh, quit whinging,' Theodore snapped. 'Nobody likes you anyway.'

'Nobody likes Malfoy, either,' Potter pointed out.

They all exchanged looks; Draco glared at Theodore, then Smith, who shrugged. 'Prats,' he muttered, rolling his eyes and turning to leave. 'I'm going to bed.'

Behind him, Ernie made a high-pitched noise and there was a sound like someone collapsing in a comatose heap on the sofa. Climbing the stairs, Draco put his hand in his pocket and fingered the badge hiding there. He was just as surprised as the rest of them, honestly, and couldn't imagine what Dumbledore was playing at by making him Head Boy. Draco had had half a mind to return the letter refusing the position, but then pondered that perhaps thats what Dumbledore had expected or wanted him to do.

And then Smith had reminded him that Head Boy and Girl were the only ones aside from teachers who could deduct points—Draco smirked to himself and squeezed the badge in his fist. Perhaps he'd hang on to it—just for a little while.

- - -

'Bugger this.'

Draco raised his eyes from his book. It was the middle of the afternoon of the next day, and Potter and Theodore had succeeded in carpeting every flat surface of the room in bits of parchment and potions ingredients, save for the bed Draco was using. Potter was looking cross and glared purposely at the smoking cauldron before him; Theodore, on the other side of the room, pointed his wand at it and dimmed the fire.

'You want it to simmer, not burn.'

'It was simmering!'

'No, that was boiling. And at that temperature, all of the non-toxic solution would evaporate, leaving you with a pot full of poison that could euthanise a dragon.' After a thoughtful pause in which Theodore watched Potter's brow knit together, he added, kindly, 'Twit.'

'Git,' Potter replied automatically. Draco sighed and rolled his eyes.

They had been working on the potion since about midday. They had slept through the entire morning and would have likely continued to if Draco hadn't accidentally dropped his trunk loudly off his bed, waking them both. Looking exhausted, Potter had rolled immediately out of bed and checked on the brewing potion in the corner; Theodore had promptly pulled the covers back over his head and snoozed for another half an hour before following suit.

'Bugger this,' Potter muttered, dusting off his hands and standing. 'I'm going to get a drink.'

Theodore yawned and said, 'Grab me one, while you're at it.'

'You want anything?'

It took a moment for Draco to realise Potter was talking to him. He blinked, then stared for a moment; caught so off-guard, he didn't have a snarky reply at hand, so settled for, 'Sure.'

Potter just nodded and disappeared out the door, as if politely asking your rival of seven years running if they wanted a drink was nothing special. Theodore watched him go with a hungry look. Draco quickly buried himself back behind his book.

He was shortly interrupted by Theodore flopping unceremoniously onto his bed, slinging and arm around his shoulders in the process. Draco didn't move, but glared at him sideways. Theodore smirked. 'It really buggers you, doesn't it?'

Draco turned his eyes back to the book. 'No.'

'No?'

'Not in the least,' Draco affirmed, looking at him again. 'Why would I give a damn about anything to do with him?'

Theodore raised his eyebrows, but shrugged. 'If you say so.'

Draco decided a change of subject was in order. 'How's the potion coming?'

'Better, if you'd have a look.'

'I'm not--'

'You are,' Theodore corrected him, before he could finish. 'Far better, than either of us. And you know it.'

'Doesn't mean I'll be any help.'

'Couldn't hurt.' Theodore still had his arm draped over Draco's shoulder, and leaned in heavily. 'Come on, Malfoy. It'd take you like ten minutes.'

'I'm reading.'

'You're sulking,' Theodore observed, leering lecherously at him, 'because Bones won't let you snog her anymore.'

'I can get a snog anytime I damn well please, thank you.'

Theodore smirked. 'Was that an invitation?'

Draco had just gone pink the moment Potter opened the door, and then gave them both a very cold look. 'Cosy?' he asked curtly.

'Very,' Theodore informed him happily. 'Malfoy just offered me a snog.' (Draco went to box his ear; Theodore ducked to avoid it.) 'But I told him I'm a one-man wolf.'

'Lucky me,' Potter said dryly. With an idle wave of his wand, the glasses wizzed towards them both with an unnecessary amount of velocity.

Draco's nearly upturned all over him as he caught it, glaring at Potter. 'Can hardly say the same for you, though.'

It was Potter's turn to go pink. 'Shut your mouth,' he said quickly. 'It's none of your business.'

Draco smirked. 'That's never stopped me before.'

'No, but I have,' Potter said, giving him a look.

Theodore grinned and rested his head on Draco's shoulder. 'He's awfully fetching when he's all miffed; we should keep you around more often, Malfoy.'

'Oh get off,' Draco snapped, shoving him by the shoulder. 'I've got other things I'd rather be doing then watch you molesting him.'

'It's not molesting if he likes it,' Theodore pointed out, rolling off the bed. He winked at Potter, who blushed. 'One pat on the head and he rolls over like a puppy.'

Draco looked at Potter just as Potter did the same; involuntarily, their eyes locked, and Potter's blush worsened. Theodore was too busy snickering to notice and Draco, thankful, ducked back behind his book despite the fact that he knew he wasn't absorbing a word of it.

- - -

Draco walked into the basement intent on dinner and instead found himself in the midst of a frenzy.

'Oh well done, Hermione,' Tonks said, grinning and giving her a hug.

Granger, Weasley, and most of the students staying at Grimmauld Place, aside from Potter and Theodore, were gathered around the table, which was full of empty plates waiting to be filled. Susan was glaring at Granger, who was so beside herself with pride that she didn't even notice when Susan kicked Crookshanks as he attempted to dash by under the table.

Granger squeezed Tonks briefly before letting go and smiled at Weasley, who rolled his eyes and said, 'Well who else would it be?'

'Well, you should never assume, Ronald,' Granger reprimanded in a terrible attempt at having some humility. 'There were plenty of other girls that were just as qualified as I was.'

'Uh-huh,' Weasley said, his expression clouding with distaste as he noticed Draco. 'What do you want, Malfoy?'

Draco, too horrified to react in any dignified manner, just stared dumbly.

Well, of course it would be her. As Weasley had pointed out, she was the obvious choice.

The obvious choice if you're a sadistic, crooked-nose bastard with a Muggle fixation, Draco thought bitterly.

At mention of his name, Granger looked around at him, and Draco suddenly realised that he hadn't read the actual letter that came enclosed with the Head Boy badge yet. The letter would have likely informed him who Head Girl was, and vice versa. Apparently, Granger had yet to break the news to her Housemates.

'Malfoy,' she said evenly. 'Congratulations.'

Draco sneered but did not reply.

Weasley stared at her. 'Why are you congratulating him? Besides the fact that he's officially the World's Most Annoying Git.'

'Careful, Weasley,' Draco said, smirking. 'Between you and Potter, you'll lose all the points Gryffindor's bound to earn before the term starts.'

Granger closed her eyes and sighed. Weasley blinked at him. 'Whaddya mean, we'll lose points? Prefects can't deduct points—' And then he stopped, and Draco watched with mild satisfaction as it sunk in. Weasely suddenly looked terrified. 'No way,' he said, recoiling slightly with a look of disgust. 'No bloody way.'

Draco withdrew the badge from his pocket and dangled it tauntingly. 'As usual, it sucks to be you, Weasley.'

'But you—but it's you!' Weasley spluttered indignantly, shoving an accusing finger in Draco's direction. 'You! And Hermione!' Weasley, alarmed by his own observing, looked quickly between them both. 'You and him!'

Granger met Draco's gaze, her eyes dauntless. 'Yes, I suppose it is.' She gave Weasley a look; he was staring at her in open-mouthed disbelief. She turned back to Draco. 'I'm sure Dumbledore had an excellent reason for appointing Malfoy; afterall, to get through this war in one piece we will all have to learn to work together at some point—'

Draco snort derisively, interrupting her. 'Don't bloody count on it.'

Granger opened her mouth to retort just as the kitchen door opened and Weasley's sister flounced in. She took a quick look around before looking at Draco. 'Where's Harry?'

Draco blinked, wondering why she'd asked him of all people. 'What the bloody hell do I care, where he is?'

'You're splitting a room, aren't you?' she asked.

'So's Nott,' Draco sneered. 'Why don't you go ask him?'

'Because he's not here?' Ginny sneered right back, taking a seat beside Susan. 'Anyway, what's for—'

'Malfoy's Head Boy!' Ron snapped, unable to contain himself any longer. He was pointing again. 'Dumbledore made him Head Boy!'

Ginny rolled her eyes. 'I know, Ronald. Hermione already told me.'

'You told her?' Ron asked, turning to Hermione while his face reddened in indignation. 'Why'd you tell her and not me!'

'Obviously because you receive news so well, Weasley,' Draco said dryly, sliding into the seat between Zacharias and Luna. 'Now if you're done being an idiot, please do close your mouth, some of us would like to keep our appetites.'

'Maybe you should just take your appetite and—'

'Ron, please,' Granger cut him off, hands on her hips. 'It's no use even talking to him, let's just eat.'

'Yes,' Tonks said brightly, looking delighted that Granger had things under control. Being the only adult in a room full of teenagers seemed to leave her at a loss of what to do, and the suggestion of supper gave her something to do. 'Molly brought over more than enough for all of you, but I'll need a little help loading the table—'

'Somebody should go get Potter and the wolf,' Zacharias remarked idly, spinning this fork between his fingers. 'I don't want to here their whinging later that they're hungry.'

'Go get them, then,' Draco said, unwilling to climb three flights of stairs when the food was only moments away. Weasley's mother may have made it, but it smelled delicious and food had been predictability sparse at Headquarters since the arrival of so many students—teenage boys ate as much as dragonspawn and twice as quickly; they were practically starving.

'I'll get them,' Ginny volunteered, standing. 'Third floor, right?'

Draco nodded, and she disappeared. He wondered momentarily just what Potter and Theodore were up to—and what she would find when she got up there... but then Tonks slopped a large bowl of mashed potatoes down on the table in front of him, and all thoughts not regarding food were blissfully forgotten.

- - -

Draco had just filled his plate and gone to take the first bite; the fork was actually poised inside of his mouth, the aroma of sweet, hot food filling his mouth and sinuses, when upstairs, he heard a scream.

He put down the fork; everyone was looking up, struck dumb in the unexpected interruption. Then Ginny screamed again, and everyone began moving at once.

Tonks was first up the stairs; Granger and Weasley were close seconds, followed by Luna, Macmillian and the others. Draco looked mournfully down at his food before rolling his eyes and following.

By the time he'd squeezed his way onto the third landing, Draco could hear Ginny's voice clearly coming from the room he, Potter and Theodore shared.

'Harry, stop it! This is mad, completely mad! He's not safe!'

'He's fine, if you lot would just bugger off!'

'I'm not going anywhere until you come out of there!'

'I'm not going anywhere until you all piss off!'

'Harry! Ginny, really!' Tonks voice came from just inside the door. 'Both of you need to calm down. Let's just leave them be, I'll go get Remus and Professor Snape—'

'I'm not leaving him alone with that animal!'

'He's not an animal,' Tonks said quietly, a hard edge that sounded alien to her voice. 'He's still a person, Ginny. He's just having a hard time making the transition—'

'I can handle it,' Potter's voice came from within the room again. 'Get Lupin, get Snape, I don't care, but he wasn't freaking out until you all came bursting up here—'

'Well, sorry if I wanted to see you, since I hardly do these days, and you never write anymore—'

From the depths of the room, Draco could hear a low snarl cut her off. Everything became so silent he could hear the breathing of everyone in the hall, who were all watching the open doorway warily. Draco crept up between them to peek inside.

Tonks was just inside the door; beside her stood Ginny, arms folded and eyes narrowed. Potter stood between the two beds, feet placed apart and hands slightly spread in a defensive stance. Behind him crouched what looked like a large, hairy dog in the shadows; golden, glittering eyes glowed from between Potter's legs, while slivers of white teeth appeared and disappeared as the wolf panted.

'Idiots,' Draco breathed, realising what they'd done. He looked at Tonks. 'You need to get Snape, now.'

Tonks nodded. She touched Ginny's arm. 'We have to go.'

'I'm not leaving—'

'You must and you will,' Tonks interrupted, circling her hand around Ginny's upper arm and giving it a tug. 'Harry's clearly not in any danger, but we are. Let's go.'

'She's right, Gin,' Potter said. 'Just go, I'll be fine.'

Ginny just looked at him. Her eyes were still narrowed, but they were pink at the corners and glistening. 'You used to trust me,' she said.

'I still trust you,' Potter assured her. 'And you need to trust me, right now. Please.'

Had not one of his friends been having a rather furry problem in the centre of all this, Draco would have taken advantage of the moment to point out that Potter was a lousy, dirty cheat and Ginny shouldn't trust him as far as she could throw him, which wouldn't have been very far anyway. But then she wouldn't have left the room for ages, and Theodore didn't seem very pleased about her intrusion, and he currently had very large teeth.

Tonks stopped at the door after she'd led Ginny out. 'Draco, are you—'

'No,' Draco said, without turning around. 'He won't do anything to me.'

Tonks hesitated, but eventually nodded and closed the door. Potter collapsed on the bed as the sound of retreating feet echoed down the hall.

'Are you completely off your nut?' Draco demanded, glaring at him. 'What the hell were you thinking, feeding it to him without getting it looked at first?'

'Well we asked you, and you didn't want to, remember?' Potter snapped back.

'I'm not a fully-qualified wizard though, am I?' Draco ran his hands through his hair and began pacing, his eyes trained on the dark spot by the bed Theodore lie crouched in. 'You know as well as I do that you should have let Snape take a look at it before giving it to anyone! You could have bloody poisoned him, or worse!'

'Well it seems to be working, at least,' Potter pointed out. 'He's not attacked anyone yet!'

'And he's a wolf!' Draco also pointed out, a bit hysterically. 'It's only the half moon, Potter! He's not supposed to be a wolf for another ten days! Don't you know what that means? That means that this is very fucking wrong, and things that are very fucking wrong are usually very fucking impossible to fix!'

'I know!' Potter shouted, wringing his fingers through his own hair. 'We didn't think—it was just a simple solution, just a basic prototype, we didn't think it'd do anything at all—'

'Well that shows how bloody good you are at thinking then, doesn't it?!'

A sharp bark interrupted them; the wolf was edging out of the shadows, his ears flat back against his head and fangs bared. Coming into the light, Draco was able to fully appreciate how enormous werewolves were; built like a lion, his shoulder, even while skulking along the floor, reached Draco's hip. His head was the size of a small pony's and his paws were the size of Galleons. The tail was as thick as the brush-end of a broomstick, swaying slightly from side to side as the wolf walked.

He looked from Draco to Harry, but made no move to attack—it was clear the potion was having some of the desired effect, but how much control Theodore had over the wolf Draco didn't know and didn't intend to test. Besides, the potion shouldn't have caused the transformation—not unless something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

The wolf, apparently pleased they had ceased shouting, sat down on its haunches and raised its ears; he cocked his head at Potter, and started to pant. Draco rolled his eyes.

'Even as a dog, you're a pervert,' he muttered.

Potter started laughing; he was lying across the bed, one arm covering his eyes. It didn't last long—the door behind Draco slammed open so harshly that he leapt to the side, startled, and Theodore attempted to dash under the bed. His shoulders were too massive, however, and he ended up crouching alongside the shadowy underside of the bed.

Draco turned to find Snape standing in the doorway, one palm still outstretched on the open door, his face white with fury.

'You idiots,' he snapped. 'What have you done?'

---

Notes: Yay, wolf!Theodore. I promise, this will be H/D--you just need to be very, very patient.

'What's he got that I don't?'
'Great hair.'
- House