An Invader Christmas Carol

Stave Five – The Way It Was

It was true! The room was Zim's, the torch was Zim's, the base was Zim's! But best of all, time was Zim's, for him to set things right and stop the terrible future he had seen. There were no rips in the wallpaper, no upturned tables, and as he sprinted to the laboratory, he found there to be no insane, revenge-driven Dib in sight. Nor would there be, as long as he showed him the mercy he deserved at Christmas.

"Anything to stop that future," Zim muttered to himself. "And as for these…" he added, picking up the crate of Doom Missiles. He placed the crate into a launcher and blasted it into space.

---

Location: The Massive

Induction of Tallest Puce

Tallest Puce sat on a couch, watching the interactive holograms of the previous Tallests, Red and Purple. Comprising of a database that the Tallests had logged over their rein, as well as Artificial Intelligence and a Voice Bank, it would answer any questions she had about her new position. It was amazingly accurate, even down to the smallest details. The artificial Tallest Red had been checking her out and drooling since she had engaged the programme.

"And what about the exiled Invader Zim?" she asked, sipping green, frothy liquid from a tall glass.

"Whatever you do, do not allow him to contact you. Keep him on the black-list at all costs, and ensure he is banned from all Irken territory," Red advised, and Purple nodded fervently.

"Oh, c'mon. What could he possibly do?" she asked, disbelievingly. It was at that moment that a tremendous explosion was heard, and the entire ship shook violently. The green liquid spilt all over her, and an army of servant-drones came flooding into the room.

"My Tallest! A large crate of Doom Missiles just impacted with the side of the ship!"

"Computer, track the original location of the crate," she ordered, and the holographic Tallests turned to look at the words on the screen.

Planet Earth. Base of exiled Invader Zim.

"Don't say we didn't warn you," said Purple as she turned off the holographic projector.

---

Zim looked around his base and smiled. It was the warmest, most heart-felt smile that had ever snaked onto his lips, and he positively glowed from it. And when he heard the musical sound of a high-pitched, innocent, robotic giggle, Zim knew that he had never felt more content than he had at that moment. Was this what Dib had meant about happiness at Christmas? GIR continued to giggle wheezily.

"GIR!" Zim said loudly, "Come down to the lab! I need to fix you if we are to continue with the mission."

GIR squealed in delight and ran after Zim, skipping around his legs as they walked down to the lab. For two hours Zim toiled away, arranging wires, thawing GIR's voice simulator and even buffing the metal until the tiny robot shone like silver. Finally Zim stood his metal friend up and wrapped an azure scarf around his neck.

"So you don't get cold," he explained as GIR gasped and snuggled the woolly garment.

"I lurve you, master," the robot exclaimed, hugging Zim's leg.

"Merry Christmas, GIR," Zim said awkwardly, but he didn't push GIR away. He wrapped a red scarf around his own neck and set off towards Dib's house, GIR still clinging to his leg.

They made their way down the street, GIR's scarf clashing wonderfully with his green doggy suit, and as they drew closer to Dib's street, Zim felt an excited tugging on his leg. Glancing down, he saw GIR staring determinedly at someone at the other end of the street. He followed the gaze to see a familiar little girl dragging a red trailer determinedly through the snow.

"Hey! Hey, you! Cookie-Girl!" he called and she looked up frantically, recognising his voice at once. He walked over and looked at the pile of boxes in the trailer. It was the same size as it had been the day before.

"What do you want?" she asked grumpily, her voice leaving a ghostly trail in front of her as it cut the frozen air.

"You haven't sold many boxes," Zim said, an eyebrow raised, and she glared.

"No thanks to you," she said, before adding balefully, "And my dad won't let me open my presents until I've sold them all."

Not picking up on the hinting tone to her voice, Zim simply shrugged. GIR was bouncing excitedly on the spot, looking at the cookies as though they were the only thing that mattered to him. They probably were. Zim shot him an irritated glance, tugging at the leash to try and stop him, to no avail. Finally, he sighed. He knew that the only way to stop GIR was to give him what he wanted.

"I'll take them all," he said, and the girl looked up sharply.

"What?"

"Give the cookies to Zim, foolish human," he said bluntly, and her face lit up. He pulled a handful of freshly-printed notes from his PAK, throwing them on the floor in front of her. She scrabbled for the money at his feet, shoving the crisp notes into her pocket.

"I'll throw in the trailer for free," she beamed, "Merry Christmas!"

Zim watched her as she practically skipped down the street, smirking as she slipped on a patch of ice. GIR leapt into the trailer, sitting on top of the boxes and shoving cookies into his mouth as Zim pulled it behind him. It was harder than it looked to drag it through the snow, but eventually he reached Dib's door. He glanced behind him to see the roof of Membrane's laboratory, and sighed. He knocked at the door, and it was wrenched open before the sharp taps had time to echo in the house.

"Hey, Dad, you're early…" Dib said, trailing off when he saw who it was. "Oh. What do you want?" he spat.

"I… Wanted to call a truce. Just for the holidays," Zim said eventually, and there was an awkward silence.

"You didn't want to yesterday," Dib said, sounding slightly wounded and extremely suspicious, "Why should I believe you now?"

"IDIOT HUMAN!" Zim exploded, sounding scandalised, "Zim would not lie about this! Not when so much is at risk!"

Dib raised an eyebrow, giving Zim an icy glare.

"If you think you can take over the world by such an obvious lie, Zim, you're more stupid than you look. Go home. I don't want to waste my Christmas talking to you," he said coolly, and Zim's eyes narrowed.

"I can still kill your father, Dib-Stink. There's still time for that," he warned, before adding in an odd voice, "But I'll give you exactly what you deserve this Christmas."

Dib slammed the door in his face, and Zim stormed off back to his base, muttering darkly about humans, stupidity and doom for all, Christmas or not. Dib turned back to Gaz, rolling his eyes as he did so. She reached under the couch and brought out a parcel. As he ripped it open to find a button-camera, he forgot all about the raving invader. It wasn't until much later, when he was washing up after a spectacular Christmas dinner and he heard another knock at the door that he gave Zim a second thought.

He walked through the house and opened the door slowly, ensuring his button-camera was switched on in case he could catch Zim on film. However, nobody was around. A small, poorly-wrapped parcel stood on the doorstep, with a messily-scribbled note attached to it. He bent down and picked it up, squinting through his thick glasses as he tried to decipher the spidery writing.

It read:

Dib-Stink,

You may not like this any more than I do, but whether or not you choose to it, a promise is a promise. Mercy is something rarely shown by any Irken, so feel honoured that you are subjected to my mighty benevolence. Make the most of it, filthy human, it will only happen once a year.

I said I'd give you what you deserved this Christmas. Believe me when I say you are getting much more than that.

Almighty as ever,

Zim

Dib raised an eyebrow and pulled the paper off the parcel, to find a box of cookies. He smiled.

"Aawwww, he's happy!" squeaked GIR as he and Zim watched from the end of the street, out of sight from the human. Zim nodded.

"He'd better be, GIR. I spared his filthy father for him," he said, before adding, as an afterthought, "Y'know, this would be a good time for a closing statement. Something to sum up everything that's happened this Christmas."

"God bless us, everyone," GIR said simply, his newly-repaired voice simulator putting an enormous amount of meaning into each word. Zim looked down with a raised eyebrow.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, GIR. Anyone would think this was a happy ending."

And that, dear reader, is the way it was.

AN

Please review, and MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Hope you enjoyed reading.

As I have already said, this story is dedicated to my best friend. Loz, if you're reading this, I love you, and hope you enjoyed this the most.

Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. 'A Christmas Carol' was written by Charles Dickens.