A/N: Hey guys!!! Here's another one shot. Hope you like it. Enjoy and if you have time tell me what you think. Criticism or encouragement is always appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and the song is Savin' Me from Nickelback.
Warnings: The story ignores HBP and DH.
Decisions
by Tajala
On their own account, his eyes strayed across the Great Hall. Over there right across from him, the most beautiful person in the world sat. He loved that person more than anything else. The problems being that said person was his arch enemy of the last six years, his father was none other then Lucius Malfoy and because said person was the Dark Lords number one enemy.
Draco Malfoy was lost in his own thoughts. He didn't want to become a Death Eater, not only because he could never hurt his love, but also because he never truly believed in everything his father told him, or the Dark Lord threatened him with. His eyes went back to Harry's beautiful face. He loved the way Harry's eyes lit up when he laughed, his unruly black hair, and his awesome heart stopping smile. The same smile that was never directed his way, the smile that had made him fall in love with the Gryffindor in the first place.
The Christmas holidays were in a few weeks after those, he would be stuck on the other side of this war, with the Dark Mark marring his arm. He had thought about defecting and telling Harry how he felt about him, but the fact that Harry would never love him back kept him from walking up to the so called golden boy. And there was his father, Lucius Malfoy. He loved his father dearly, even though he got punished almost every time Harry beat him at Quidditch or Granger had better grades than him. He would be disinherited and thrown out of the family not even a minute after he declared his loyalty to Harry. He didn't even want to fight for the light side, with the goody-good Dumbledore being the leader, but he would fight for and with Harry.
Finally pulling himself out of his musings, he noticed that almost everybody had left for classes already. He had to hurry if he didn't want to be late for Transfiguration.
Harry was confused. Malfoy had stared at him again. He did that a lot lately. And Harry just couldn't figure out why. This year they hadn't had really bad fights like the ones they used to have the years before, but he didn't think anybody else besides him had noticed. They would still trade insults, and sometimes hex each other but it was never as hurting as it had been. He himself didn't really mind, because he personally thought those fights had become childish as they got older, and he also had a lot going on this year. He trained almost every night in one of the unused classrooms because Vodemort terrorized the wizarding world more each day that passed.
And as if he didn't have enough problems, Malfoy acted strangely. What the hell was going on? Did he plan something? But why would he not fight with Harry if he planned something against him. Wouldn't it be too obvious? Obviously not! Nobody else had noticed that they didn't fight nearly as much. But if the Slytherin planned something it would still not explain his stares across the Great Hall or in class. Pushing his thoughts of Malfoy away for the moment he got up. He was already pretty late. Hopefully he would make it on time to his first class.
He didn't look around as he hurried alongside the Gryffindor table to the doors of the Great Hall. When he connected with another body, he wasn't remotely prepared so he went flying to the floor, his books scattering everywhere. The other person swore loudly. After a quick check if everything was ok, he looked up, just so that his eyes could lock with the smoldering grey eyes of his enemy. Malfoy scowled but as soon as he realized it was Harry his eyes softened just to change an instant after they had softened back to hard and cold, and Malfoy's mask was back in place.
"Can't you open your eyes, Potter?" he sneered. Harry only looked at the other boy. What the hell was going on? The only thing he knew for sure was that Malfoy definitely hid something. Or at least he tried to, but he seemed to have serious problems hiding, whatever it was, in front of Harry. Rudely Malfoy pushed passed him. "You better watch where you're going the next time!"
It didn't get better over the next few weeks, Malfoy was his usual smirking sneering self except when Harry was close, than he always looked like he wanted to say something but he never did. And suddenly the Christmas holidays were there. Everybody was in high spirits and quite happy to be spending time with their families. Only Harry and a few other not so lucky ones had to stay in Hogwarts.
The day before Christmas found everybody eating dinner in the Great Hall. Like all the other years before there was only one table for the students and teachers together. They just finished the main course, when a beautiful black owl swooped into the hall, just to drop a letter in Harry's lap then the owl took off towards the owlery.
Who would send him a letter at such a weird time? Normally the mail was delivered in the morning. Curiously Harry wanted to open the letter, but he was aware of the stares everybody gave him. It wasn't so unusual for a student to get a letter once in awhile in the evening, but if you're Harry Potter, everybody wants to know everything especially "un-normal" things. After another second of hesitation, he hadn't had his dessert yet, he got up. His curiosity was just too big.
Sitting down in a comfortable armchair in the Gryffindor common room, he opened the letter impatiently. He was the only one from Gryffindor who had stayed so nobody would disturb him. It only said his name on the envelope, so the first thing he did was look at the bottom to see who had written it. He gasped and dropped the letter. What the hell did Malfoy want? Harry was close to just chucking the letter into the fire place, but then he remembered the stares, the weird fights and Malfoy's, was it uncertainty? After another moment of debating the "pro's and con's" with himself, he decided to at least read the letter. He could decide afterwards what to do.
A few hours later Harry could be found standing on the edge of the lake. He wasn't able to sleep. Pulling out the letter from his pocket, he started to read again. He didn't know how often he had already read through it, but often enough to know the words by heart. The writing was so unbelievable.
Now reading through it again, he didn't really see the words, but still heard every word like an echo in his mind. The first part was a song from a muggel band.
Savin' Me
Prison gates won't open up for me Show me what it's like Heaven's gates won't open up for me Show me what it's like Hurry I'm falling…
On these hands and knees I'm crawling
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm calling
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm falling
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me, Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
With these broken wings I'm falling
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm calling
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm falling
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me, Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Harry
This is a song from a Muggle band called Nickelback. I don't know if you ever heard of them. But they're my favourite band. I know it's unbelievable and if my father finds out, I'm probably dead. But that doesn't matter now anyways. Weird as it is, the song describes exactly how I feel. I don't know an easier or more believable way to tell you how I feel than writing you a letter. It's already to late now. But I hope you will remember that I never wanted to be what I'm becoming now.
But I should start explaining so that you'll understand what I want you to know.
It's the day before Christmas, and I'm supposed to be getting the Mark tonight. I don't want it, I never did. You probably laugh and shake your head at that, but it's the truth. As of tomorrow I'll be your enemy. Not just a school rival or some one to taunt and trade insults with, but an enemy, as in follower of the Dark Lord. My father will see to that.
Harry… This summer I figured out that I never wanted to be like my father. I could never be so cruel and kill helpless children, Muggle or not. And I also kind of realized that I thought way too much about you. You see I fell in love with the most unlikely person to fall in love with. Yes Harry, I'm talking about you, my enemy, the bane of my existence, the number one enemy of my soon to be master. You can imagine my horror in realizing that.
I wanted to tell you all the time since school started again in September, but I never did. I guess I was looking for the right time to tell you. But I think there is never a right time for something like that. I didn't know how to approach you. How do you tell your arch enemy that you want to switch sides and that you're in love with said person. How do you tell him that you're serious and not only a spy for the Dark Lord? I didn't know that's why I'm now writing you. I thought you should know everything and I feel better with the knowledge that I finally found the courage to tell you, even if it's only in a letter.
Maybe if I had had the courage earlier, you could have really saved me, but as I wrote before, it's to late now. I know I'll be a horrible Death Eater and I'll probably be dead soon. Hopefully I don't have to face you before that, and if I do, then I seriously hope that you'll kill me, because I know you would never let some one die slowly and painfully, from your hand it would be quick.
Harry I love you and if I could change what I did in the past I would do it. I hope you can forgive me one day in the future. Not only for being an arsehole all these years, but also for being a coward who can't stand up against his father and defect from the Dark Lord and of course for not telling you what I feel. I know you don't feel the same way, but it's still your right to know.
With all my love
Draco Malfoy
Tears were running down Harry's cheeks. How could he do that? Writing him stuff like that but still going to is father to become one of them. It was so horrible. He would have helped him. He was supposed to be the fucking saviour, why couldn't he help a classmate, even if they never got along?
He was sure, that he had helped the Slytherin, not only because it was his job, but because he had realized that the blond had changed. Everybody else would have been a problem but they would have worked it out eventually.
Standing there alone in the night unable to sleep, he was aware of all the things Draco Malfoy had done to him, but also the things he had done in return. It wasn't pretty, but he realized that they had more in common than they would have liked to admit. They both had to live up to a reputation their parents had created and in Draco's case still hold onto.
Harry had never felt as miserable as he felt in that moment. Why had he never tried to talk to the other boy? Why? He had noticed that something was different but he hadn't done a thing…
He didn't know how long he stood there already when he heard a loud pop in the silence of the night.
Not even six feet away from him a figure had appeared on the ground. A dark cloak with a hood covered the person. Harry instantly whipped out his wand. It was definitely a Death Eater's robe. He aimed his wand. But then the body moved and moaned in pain.
The Gryffindor didn't even have time to think about his actions, because only half a second after he heard the sound, he was at the person's side. Pulling back the hood he gasped as he saw the blond hair. It was none other then Draco Malofy. The same Malfoy who had written him that letter now lay in front of him bleeding. There were a lot of cuts and bruises. He had obviously been beaten or even tortured.
Harry carefully turned the boy on his back. His mind whirled. He tried to remember all the healing spells he had ever heard. Slowly he started to cast the spells. After long minutes Malfoy opened his eyes. Blearily he looked at Harry and as he registered who it was he shrank backwards.
"Shhh…don't move." Harry tried to calm the other teen. "You're severely injured. I have to get you to Madam Pomfrey."
"I…Did you…read…my letter?" the blond asked with a hoarse voice. It was probably from a lot of screaming. Harry shuddered. It implied a lot of pain.
"Don't talk. You need your strength. Yes I have read your letter and it gave me quite a lot to think about. Now you have to rest we'll talk tomorrow." Harry soothed him with a small smile.
"How…can you…trust me? I could…be a Death Eater…for all you know. I…went there tonight…I stood in front…of the Dark Lord… I almost got the Mark, but…I couldn't…I just couldn't. I was able…to flee… Harry…all I could…think of was you… Forgive me…please…" his voice died down.
"You're here, you didn't get the Mark and it looks like you got a severe punishment for that. You're really here. That's all that matters. You know I'll protect you. I'll be always here. We can figure out the rest when you feel better, and I had more time to think about it. It's quite a lot to take in. It will be hard for you, but you're strong. You just defected from Voldemort, not many others would do that. Now sleep, I'll bring you to Pomfrey."
With that said Harry got up and cast a levitation spell on the body of Draco Malfoy. He had said it would be hard, and it really would be. But he knew for sure that he would be at the Slytherin's side, as a friend for now, till he figured everything out, but it could be more than just friends some day. There was a lot to learn about Draco Malfoy. He absolutely wasn't the person Harry always thought he was. There was a whole lot more about the other boy and it intrigued the Gryffindor.