Bella: DECK THE HALLS WITH BELLS OF HOLLY!

Jacob: FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!

Bella: 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!

Jacob: FA-LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA!

Bella: SOMETHING, SOMETHING, SOMETHING, SOMETHING!

Jacob: FA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA!

Bella: SOMETHING, SOMETHING, SOMETHING, SOMETHING!

Bella & Jacob: FA-LA-LA LA-L….

Jasper: WILL YOU SHUT UP! Alice and I are TRYING to sleep!

Jacob: Ya can't sleep! Remember?

Jasper: Well that's beyond the point! We are trying to spend some quality time together.

Jacob: raises eyebrows Whatcha doin' in there?

Jasper: That's really none of your business.

Jacob: It's none of my business? nudges Jasper and winks Good for you, mate. Good for you.

Alice: walks into the room What's going on out here?

Jasper: Jacob is being perverted.

Alice: Aren't you guys supposed to be telling the story about Christmas Shopping?

Bella: Well, yeah…I guess….it's just…..CHRISTMAS CAROLS!

Jacob: FA-LA-LA…

Jasper: Haven't we made them wait long enough? Let's get on with the story, please. I'd rather not hear your voice anymore.

It was the magical time of the year. The time of year when everyone was bustling about the mall. Buying packages, boxes and bags. The magical four were all nestled into Alice's lime green Volkswagen (Don't ask.) on their way to the mall.

Once they arrived, Jacob sprung out of the car, and ran through the crowded parking lot, screaming "TIME TO CHRISTMAS SHOP, JASPER!"

Alice, attempting, but sadly failing, to contain her excitement, grabbed Bella's wrist, dragging her out of the car. She gave Jasper a quick kiss goodbye "Have fun guys. Please, be tolerant of Jacob, Jasper dear. He gets a little over excited, just like me….anyways, bye." she said, at high speed half walking away while she said it. Then she turned quickly to Bella, slowing her speech just enough for Bella to understand. "Now we've got a lot of ground to cover, Bella. There are 12 stores with sales on today and we will be hitting all of them. There will be 30 minutes allotted for a Yougn Fruitz break, then another 30 minutes after we meet with the boys. We will probably be forced to have some Orange Julius, no thanks to your precious Jacob" she sneered.

"Damn straight!" yelled Jacob in passing.

They all entered through the Chapter's entrance, where Bella began to stray towards the books. Alice slapped her in the back of the head, causing her to drop the book with a dull thud. Jasper scooped it up and gazed at the title. "Twilight….looks interesting." Everyone paused as Jasper quickly flipped through the book. As he was doing that, Jacob snatched up Eclipse while Bella reached for New Moon. Alice simply tapped her foot and rolled her eyes. "I think these are about us!" said Jasper, his eyes wide with shock. "Yeah it says right here, Jasper Hale."

"Well this makes me look like a complete git!" Jacob exclaimed, slapping the cover of Eclipse.

"This makes you look a little better." said Bella, referring to New Moon.

"Guys do you know what the weirdest part is?" said Jasper, his eyes continuing to widen until they looked far too large for his face.

Everyone, even Alice, looked up in interest.

"Almost Edward….he's….well…he's completely Edward!" cried Jasper.

"No!" said Bella in shock.

"Lemmie see!" said Jacob, ripping the book from Jasper's grip. "My gosh! And he's dead sexy!"

"Well, I think that Almost Edward guy is pretty hot himself. What a piece of man-meat!" mumbled a 'mysterious' voice.

They turned to see Almost Edward, pretending to not listen, while snatching up as many copies of Twilight as his little arms could muster. They just stared at him.

"TIME TO SHOP!" yelled Alice, grabbing Bella's arm and dragging her away. "Bye boys! Meet you at 0800 hours!"

"Does she even know what time that is?" asked Jacob, staring at their retreating figures.

"No, but it's still adorable." Jasper replied with a loving look on his face.

"TO THE ORANGE JULIUS!" yelled Jacob suddenly, throwing his arms in the air in triumph.

Back with Alice and Bella…

"Oh. My. Gosh. Bella, you have GOT to try this on!" said Alice brandishing a purple tank top at Bella. "Jacob would soo love this!"

"That's what you said about the other 50 outfits!" said Bella, her voice muffled slightly from the heaps of clothes on top of her. "Besides, aren't we supposed to be getting gifts for the guys?"

"But Bella, this store is called JACOB! Jacob would love it! Besides, you want to look pretty for him, so really, it IS gifts for him! Now go to the change room and try these on!" yelled Alice, not-so-gently pulling Bella along, carrying her own massive stack of clothing for herself.

A prim looking sales lady marched up to them and said "Excuse me ladies, you can only bring 5 items in the change room at one time."

"Are you sure we can only bring 5 items?" asked Alice, batting her eyelashes.

"Yes." said the sales lady stiffly.

Alice, looking at her name tag, said "Linda? Really Linda? Well, do you have any male co-workers I can speak to?"

"No. We only employ woman." barked Linda.

"Well that's a bit sexist." said Alice, dropping all the clothes on the floor and walking towards the exit. "Come on Bella, we have better places to be."

"Now do you want banana, peach, strawberry, or passion fruit?" said Jacob, looking at the Orange Julius menu in front of him and Jasper.

"Well hi, Jacob!" said the girl working at the counter. "Back again? Personally, I would get the Passion Fruits."

"Well Jasper, what would you like?" asked Jacob, tilting his head in Jasper's general direction. "Are you a passion fruits kinda guy?"

"Considering I don't eat, I'm guessing I'm not." said Jasper.

The girl at the counter gasped. "Hon, is he anorexic or something?" she muttered to Jacob.

"Well yeah." said Jacob with a slight mischievous grin on his face. "I've been trying to get this boy to eat for quite some time."

"He's so pale." she whispered. "He must be so faint with hunger!"
Jasper simply glared.

"Ya know what, Darla, I think I will have the Passion Fruits." said Jacob.

"Tell you what, I'll give you an extra large smoothie for free, since you're such a good customer." said Darla with a meaningful look in Jasper's direction.

She slid the drinks over the counter and said "Now I don't want to be a busy-body, but you drink up dear. If you don't I'm gonna have to call a help line for you, and I don't think we want that." she patted Jacob's hand and said "You're such a great friend."

"No. Thank you, Darla." Jacob said winking and sliding her a tip.

"Now I want to see you drink that please!" Darla yelled as they went to get a seat, waving her cell phone at them.

Jasper looked like he was ready to kill someone, particularly Jacob, as he was steered into the seats right in front of Orange Julius.

Jacob patted Jasper on the shoulder and said "Drink up, mate. You'll be alright."

Jasper glared, muttering something about murdering Jacob, and took a swig of his Passion Fruits smoothie.

Darla began to clap loudly and yelled across the way "Good for you! That's one step in the right direction!"

Jasper forced a smile and took another small drink as to not seem rude.

Meanwhile, with Alice and Bella…

"Well, those stores with the male workers were MUCH kinder." yelled Alice as she and Bella walked by Jacob's with 15 shopping bags.

Linda glared at Alice, still attempting to clean up the pile of clothes they abandoned on the floor.

"Shouldn't we get the boys' gifts now?" asked Bella.

Alice looked at her watch. "I gue…ACTUALLY, IT'S YOUGN FRUITZ TIME!"

Bella looked a bit frightened, but obliged. I mean, it was Yougn Fruitz after all. Besides, there was really no point in arguing with Alice.

Alice slid gracefully to the counter. "Good afternoon my good sir. I believe we are ready for some Yougn Fruitz."

"That would be why you're here." said the emo boy working at the counter.

"Jackson." said Alice, reading the name tag again. "Well, Jackson dear, we may have wanted a beverage instead."

"Well then you could have just gone to Orange Julius. They have way better drinks." said Jackson, the emo boy.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" could be heard being yelled by Jacob from the other side of the mall.

"We could have, I suppose, but I like it here so much better." said Alice, fluttering her eyelashes ever so slightly.

"Yeah. Whatever. Just pick something. You're presence is effecting my aura." said Jackson, turning up the screamo being blared from his ipod.

Alice, slightly taken aback replied "Well fine then. I'll clear out of your aura, because my aura is CRYSTAL CLEAR….right after you give me my Yougn Fruitz, that is. You're lucky I like it here so much. Bella, what would you like?"

"Uhh…vanilla please." said Bella.

"Vanilla is lame. That means you are lame." said Jackson McEmo-Face.

"Two vanillas." Alice chirped.

"Two?" asked Bella.

"Yeah, one. Two. Not that difficult of a task. Are you incompetent? You see, I value competence." said Jackson with a sudden burst of a bit of personality.

CHAD BROWN comes out of The Bay and says "Good show of values Jackson. Very good show." and leaves.

"CHAD BROWN!!!" yells Bella at his retreating figure.

"Here's your frozen yogurt. Get out of my life." said Jackson, all traces of a personality vanished.

"Bye Jackson!" said Alice waving "I'll be seeing you later." and with that she and Bella were off.

As they were walking, Alice scooped up some Yougn Fruitz and was about to put it in her mouth. "Alice what the salty fruitcake do you think you're doing?" screeched Bella.

"I'm eating my Yougn Fruitz!" Alice replied happily, and with that she put it in her mouth.

"Dude, ya don't eat." said Bella in shock.

"I SAID, I'M EATING MY YOUGN FRUITZ!!!!" screeched Alice, continuing to eat it happily.

Bella nodded looked frightened and said "Carry on then."

Meanwhile, at La Senza…

"NO! I am NOT going in there!" yelled Jasper, trying to pull from Jacob's grip.

"Aww come on, mate! It's not that bad! I've been in there tons of times!" replied Jacob.

"With, or without Bella?" asked Jasper.

"No comment." said Jacob, finally pulling him into the fiery depths of hell.
Jacob dashed from rack-to-rack, gazing with an experienced eye at all the items on sale. Jasper was awkwardly following close behind Jacob making sure no one he knew could see him.

Suddenly, Jessica walked by and Jasper, being the worrisome little being that he is, dived his head into the basket of 20 off panties. When Jasper finally resurfaced, Jacob patted him on the shoulder and said "There ya go, mate. Now you've got the hang of it. Why don't you come over here and look at the matching sets."

Jasper froze where he was, staring at Jacob with a mix of admiration and fear. Jacob, noticing that Jasper was not behind him, grabbed a shamrock patterned bra, and flung it expertly at Jasper's head. It landed perfectly on his left ear and hung. Jacob yelled "LUCK OF THE IRISH! Look at my skills! Alice would like that, right? She likes green, doesn't she? I mean, she has a green car." Jasper just stayed planted where he was with a look of complete shock on his features. "Oh look! I found the matching panties!" yelled Jacob, flinging those as well where it landed directly on top of Jasper's head like a Children's Place toque. "Ya look like a bit of a player, mate. Might wanna take the lingerie off your head."

Jasper, finally realizing his surroundings, yanked them off of his head and marched over to Jacob. "Are we done here?"

"Nope. We're just getting started." said Jacob. "Ooh! Look, 50 off!" and with that he started off towards a new shelve. Jasper looked down and shuffled his feet as he grudgingly followed him.

Back with the girls…

"Bella, I want to take you to a new place. It's just around the corner. I have a feeling that you might like it." said Alice, pulling Bella along with a malicious grin on her face.

"I'm frightened." replied Bella. "Where's Almost Edward when you bloody well need him?"

Almost Edward walks by, carrying about 70 bags from Chapters. "Hi Bella! Want a free Twilight book?"

"Go away Almost Edward! Bella and I have some unfinished business to attend to." said Alice, flailing her arms at him.

Bella, with eyes full of fear mouthed "Save me!" to Almost Edward, but since he was only Almost Edward, he couldn't even read her lips.

"Have a nice day to you too, Bella!" he said waving and completely clueless.

"Ahh here we are, Bella." said Alice.

Bella looked up and read the name. "Strings n' Things? What is it, some sort of sting shop?"

"Something of the sort." said Alice, her evil grin widening.

Suddenly a man with a black bow tie and Speedo walked up to them and bowed low. "Hello Alice. Good to see you again. Who's your friend?" asked the mysterious stranger.

"HANK! How lovely to see you! This is Bella. It's her first time here." responded Alice.

Bella just stared with a look of horror on her face "What kind of place of torture is this?"

"Well, let me give you the tour." said Hank, winking and grabbing Bella's wrist. Alice reached for his other hand and they skipped into the store with Bella stumbling along beside them.

A chorus of "Hi Alice!" 's commenced from all the other employees dressed exactly like Hank.

"Hey everyone!" Alice answered gleefully.

"Babe, you still with that Jasper-fool?" asked a particularly buff-looking employee from the back.

"He's not a fool, Muscle-Hide! And yes, I'm still very much with him. Why do you think I'm here?" asked Alice.

A chorus of "awww" 's were called out, but Alice simply ignored them and got down to business.

"Carry on Hank. There are many bases to cover for young Bella here." said Alice. "She's still quite the innocent girl."

All the muscled men looked over at Bella where she still had a look of complete dread and horror on her face. "Alice, how on earth do you know all these strange men?" asked Bella.

"Rosalie never told you that story?" asked Alice, her eyebrows slightly raised. "Oh, well, best be saved for another day."

With that they began walking though the store pausing when Hank stopped to show Alice the new shipments. "I think you'll really like these, Ally!" he said. "100 pure silk!"

"Ooh! It's so soft!" cried Alice. "You always know what I like, Hank. Here, Bella, feel this! It's amazing!"

"What….is it, exactly?" asked Bella.

"Why Bella, I thought you would know." said Hank, in his extremely manly voice. "It's a 100 certified…

"Oh my God, guys!" yelled Sparkles from a distance, while prancing through the store. "We are like, so, almost out of man thongs! All that's left is like, neon pink and purple, and it's like, who's gonna buy that, besides, like, me."

Suddenly realization dawned on Bella's face. "No! No! I don't want to touch it!" she screamed, but it was too late, for Hank was already rubbing it against the side of Bella's face.

"See Bella. Can't you feel how lovely it is?" asked Hank, continuing to rub the neon thong against her face.

All the colour in Bella's face drained. "Could you just STOP!" she yelled running out of the store.

"Bella come back!" yelled Alice, clutching the undergarments and shaking them in her raised fists. Hank trailed after Alice, his Speedo squeaking as he ran.

Bella continued to run all the way to Yougn Fruitz, knowing full well that she would be able to stop Alice in her tracks. When she finally reached the counter, Jackson looked up.

"You again? What's your problem?" Jackson said sarcastically.

Suddenly Alice rounded the corner, still clutching the neon thong in her fist with Hank right behind her. She screamed "Just give it a chance Bella!"

Hank yelled "Yes Bella, give it a chance! You know you love it!"

"I seen it, Bella! I seen that you loved it!" cried Alice, tapping her temple.

"Oh." replied Jackson "I get it now."

"Yeah, I've got some real problems." replied Bella merrily.

"Me as well." replied Jackson, whipping his handy dandy razor blade.

Alice and Hank finally reached the counter. "NO! NOT YOUGN FRUITZ! My one true weakness!" cried Alice, collapsing to her knees.

"And I'm buying! You can have anything you'd like." said Bella.

"Come on Alice, you can do this." Hank said with his head bowed down low, rubbing her shoulders in a coach-like manor.

"I'm sorry Hank. I'm not strong enough." Alice said bowing her head and handed over the neon thong in defeat.

"It's okay Ally," Hank said stroking her hand and grabbing the undergarments. "You tried your best."

"Yeah I suppose," said Alice very somber. "But If you sent us our special orders before Christmas then I would be very happy." she said, suddenly very cheerful.

"Anything for you Ally!" Hank said, bouncing away, generally happy with himself and his mission.

"Special orders?" asked Bella, all former traces of playfulness vanished.

"I knew you would bolt on me, so I decided to pre-order some very special presents!" said Alice, winking slightly. "So, you're buying? Two vanillas please."

Bella simply stood in shock and silently paid for the frozen yougurt. Jackson sullenly handed over the yougurt and the girls went to sit.

Back with the boys…

"So Jasper, have you come to a decision yet?" asked Jacob holding up two different sets and waving them in Jasper's face. "The shamrocks? Or the ones that say Sassy on the rear?"

"I don't really feel comfortable with purchasing these types of…items." replied Jasper.

"How 'bout I get them for you and you can pay me back after. I mean, it's so worth it." Jacob replied.

"How exactly is it worth it?" asked Jasper.

"Well come on, isn't it obvious?" asked Jacob. "I mean, lets picture the shamrocks for a sec. Can't you just see Alice in those?"

"Can you not see her?" asked Jasper looking down.

"And then think about the Sassy ones for a minute. Is Alice sassy, Jasper? I think she is." Jacob said with a wink.

"Can you STOP picturing Alice, PLEASE?" screamed Jasper.

"Well, mate, somebody's gotta do it. Now how about Bella?" asked Jacob, holding up to different sets. "Could you see her with the blue with dolphins, or the pink with the starfish?"

"I can see her in…NEITHER!" yelled Jasper, clearly uncomfortable.

"Well come on, I helped with Alice, now you gotta help me with Bella! PICTURE IT!" cried Jacob.

"How is calling my wife 'sassy' helpful in any way?" Jasper cried.

"Oh, so ya like the sassy ones then? Alrighty, I'll go get them for you." Said Jacob, walking towards the counter. "I'm getting these for my best friend's wife." He told the sales lady, beaming with pride.

"I'M NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND!" cried Jasper, lunging at Jacob.

The two super-natural beings collided and hit the floor.

The sales lady muttered "I can see you're a bit more than friends." While walking away.

"OK, OK! I GET IT. SHAMROCKS!" said Jacob, raising his arms in defeat.

Jasper actually backed off at his words. "That's better." He replied curtly.

Jacob stood up and brushed himself off a bit. "Well that's great mate, I'm gonna go pay, and you can grab us some more Orange Julius! They'll come to about $40" Jacob said, holding out his hand expectantly.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Said Jasper, somehow distracted as he pulled out his wallet and handed Jacob the cash.

The second that Jacob had his back turned, Jasper bolted. He ran through the mall as fast as his legs could carry him, yelling "ALICE! SAVE ME! HELP ME PLEASE!" at the pedestrians in passing.

Alice and Bella…

"Eww. Jackson got his emo-blood all over my frozen yougurt!" cried Bella.

"Yum!" cried Alice gleefully. "Let's trade!"

They swapped yougurts and sat down at the nearest bench. Suddenly they heard a "pst!" from the bushes behind them.

Both girls turned to look, and there was poor Jasper hiding in the bushes. His hair was sticking up in multiple places and there were odd little branches and leaves.

"JASPER! What did you do to your beautiful hair!" cried Alice. "Come and sit with us so I can fix it!"

"He'll find us!" hissed Jasper, and with that he pulled both girls in the bushes with him.

"Who'll find us, Jasper?" asked Bella, as usual, confused.

"JASPER! JASPER! WHERE ARE YOU?" called Jacob rounding the corner.

"We're over he-" started Bella.

"SHUT UP!" hissed Jasper, clamping her mouth shut.

"But he looks so sad!" cried Bella.

"NO!" yelled Jasper.

"Can we at least get out of these bushes?" asked Alice, clearly annoyed by Jasper's latest shenanigan.

Jasper looked up and said "I think I have an idea…"

With little lost Jacob…

Jacob continued shuffling along, his cries growing more pitiful. "JASPER? JASPER? ORANGE JULIUS?" he called.

He wandered to the new section of the mall. "WHERE AM I?" Jacob cried.

Suddenly, he noticed the Help Desk and ran over. "MISS!" he cried. "I've lost my friend!" he said, looking on the verge of tears.

In the depths of Children's Place…

"HAHA! He'll never find us here!" cried Jasper, sounding slightly insane.

"Jasper, dear, you always go here." Said Alice.

"He won't recognize me if I wear this!" cried Jasper, slapping on a blue and grey striped toque with a large pom-pom on the top.

"YOU GO HERE ALL THE TIME? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF CHILD RAPIST?" cried Bella.

"I just appreciate the arts of toques, and they make a very fine toque here!" Jasper cried.

"Now Jasper, dear, do you remember what the kind doctor told you about this place?" asked Alice, getting slightly impatient.

"That I can't go here." Jasper said.

"And when is it that you can't go here, Jasper?" asked Alice.

"Ever." He said, dejectedly.

"Jasper Hale, you friend, Jacob Black is looking for you. Please come get him at the Help Desk before I go mad." Boomed the loud speaker.

At the sound of the loud speaker, Jasper dove into the centre of a rack of children's jackets yelling "THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!"

Everyone in the store turned to look at Jasper, and a few of the mothers protectively grabbed their children's hands. Alice reached into the rack, swiftly yanking Jasper out from his fortress. "Alright. That's enough of your nonsense." she said and then turning to Bella, said "Let's go get your boyfriend." With that they marched out of Children's Place, dragging Jasper behind them.

"NO! You won't take me alive!" cried Jasper, as Alice seized his arm, rolling her eyes at Bella.

"Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" said Alice in a mocking tone.

"What did he even do to you, Jasper?" asked Bella.

"I don't want to talk about it! Shamrocks…SHAMKROCKS!" he yelled, shivering slightly.

At the Help Desk…

"THEY'RE NEVER COMING FOR ME! I FEEL SO ALONE! WHY DO YOU MOCK ME CREUL FATE?" cried Jacob, sobbing to no one in particular.

"They. Are. Coming." said the lady working the Help Desk. "Now, sit down, and please, be quiet."

Suddenly, Bella, Alice, and Jasper all rounded the corner.

"You came! You came!" Jacob said, and he started running toward their general direction.

Bella stood waiting with her arms outstretched, but Jacob flew past her and threw himself at Jasper, sobbing in his shoulder. Jasper simply patted his back awkwardly saying "Yeah. I was coming."

Bella snorted saying "Yeah. Right."

Once Jacob finally released his grasp on Jasper, he handed him a large bag with the words "La Senza" scrawled across the side. Winking slightly, Jacob said "Here's those gifts you wanted." and finally walked over to Bella's side.

"OOH! PRESENTS?" squealed Alice. After reading the side of the bag, she asked "Are those for me?" while running her fingers through Jasper's hair.

"Uh, you could say that." replied Jasper, obviously dazed.

"And I helped him pick them out!" cried Jacob, beaming with pride.

Bella's eyes widened a bit and said "I think I can relate to your current mental state, Jasper"

"Oh. I guess you guys did some shopping of your own. Are your muscle-ly man friends still after me?"

"Aw honey, they're under complete control." said Alice, while pulling out what looked like a miniature flexing, and over-muscled arm. She waved it in their faces and shoved it in her purse.

"What was that?" said Bella, obviously a bit frightened.

"Another day, Bella. Another day." replied Alice, while patting her on the arm gently.

"ORANGE JULIUS!!" cried Jacob.

"Well, alright. But only because Jasper was so very mean to you." said Alice.

"Mean? I wasn't mean!" cried Jasper, while they all walked toward the Orange Julius stand. Everyone glared at Jasper, and continued walking. Jasper started mumbling indubitably, although a few words that could be heard were "panties, head and anorexic."

The girls walked off to order while the boys went to get a table. Surprisingly enough, the girls were met at the counter by none other than Almost Edward.

"Well hello there Bella. You're looking completely Bella-ish today!" he said happily from his place behind the counter.

"And you are looking the picture of an Almost Edward." said Bella.

Almost Edward looked down sadly, his giant orange shaped hat wobbling feebly from it's perch on top of his head. While the girls waiting at the counter, Alice yelled to Jasper "Oh honey, I almost forgot! I'll be able to make it to your game tonight!"

"Game? What game?" asked Jacob.

"Football." muttered Jasper, still a bit frightened to be alone with Jacob.

"Football? Well that's a bit gay, don't you think?" said Jacob matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean gay?" asked Jasper.

"Well, ya know. Sweaty men in tight pants, jumping on top of each other? That sounds pretty gay to me. I don't know what kind of macho man appearance about football you have got in your head right about now, but let me tell you, it is wrong." said Jacob.

Jasper silently punched Jacob in the face.

Jacob rubbed his cheek a little and said "Now there's no need to resort to violence, but honestly, I don't even know if that could be referred to as violence. That was a pretty sissy punch if you ask me."

"AHH!" screamed Jasper, throwing himself across the table at Jacob. They rolled across the floor and jumped up on top of Orange Julius.

Jasper ripped out a giant carrot from the top of the stand yelling "Engarde!"

Jacob pulled out his own carrot, yelling "Two can play at the game!" and with that, they were in an epic duelling match.

Bella stood transfixed underneath the overhang of the Orange Julius stand. "My Lord! He just looks so…so…wow."

"It's against store policy to steal our vegetables!" yelled Almost-Edward, shaking his fist at them.

"SHUT UP, ALMOST EDWARD! I'M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID RANTS!" roared Jasper, while continuing to duel.

"Wow. Look how assertive he's being! You go, Jasper!" cried Alice from her seat. Her eyes wandered upward and suddenly she seen it. "Oh. My. God. Jasper! That banana is the exact same shade as your hair!" She squealed with delight and joined them on top of the Orange Julius stand. Happily, she ripped out the banana, and held it next to his hair.

As soon Alice had jumped up, the stand started to shake uncontrollably. Both boys abandoned their duel and jumped off from either side, landing gracefully on the ground. Alice leaped forward, the banana still in hand, and landed perfectly as well. They we all out of harms way, except…

"NOOO! NOT BELLA!" cried Almost Edward, hurling himself across the counter and knocking Bella backward, right before the stand collapsed.

Bella was safe. Unfortunately, Almost Edward was not. There he lay, underneath the rubble. "Call…an ambulance!" cried Almost Edward.

"Well guys, I think we've caused enough trouble for one day. Let's go home." said Alice.

"Yeah!" they all replied in unison. Jacob wrapped his arm around Bella's waist, while Alice linked her arm in Jasper's, while leaning against him. They gently stepped over Almost Edward and walked towards the exit. Happily ever after.

A/N Well there's 22 pages of fan fiction-y goodness. Sorry it took it so long, but I think you can understand why. This is actually the very chapter that started it all. Hope you like it! Please review. Thanks to anyone who's a fan!