Chapter 24
-Five Presents Remus Never Received
(and one he did)-
Remus
Merry Christmas to Padfootatheart
When Remus was six, and, despite being far more advanced than many children his own age, still believed in Santa, he wrote a letter and sent it off with his father's owl. His father always said that wishing solved nothing, but Remus didn't quite believe that, and quickly proceeded to scrawl a few sentences on some tattered parchment.
Dear Santa,
My name is Remus Lupin, and I've been very good this year. I think the thing I want the most is some friends, because Dad won't let me play with any of the other kids in our neighbourhood for some reason. And I would love some chocolate too please.
From Remus
PS. This is my dad's owl, and she's a bit old and blind, so if she accidentally flies into something, don't worry.
Of course, Santa never replied, and Remus spent most of Christmas Day making excuses, until he realised the truth: Santa didn't exist. He still wished for friends though, wished that he could scramble into his mittens and throw snowballs with them, no matter how many times his father said no.
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Remus gave up on wishing after that, because obviously it was futile. He had friends now anyway, he was a Marauder. Every year, Sirius would give him a Quidditch magazine and a box of chocolates, ignoring Remus' protests that he didn't even like Quidditch, James would give him some useless object from a joke shop that was usually wrecked by Sirius two weeks later, and Peter would give him a scarf or jumper, always the testament to his mother's latest knitting pattern. The presents were never exactly what he wanted, but they came from friends, and thinking back to that letter he had sent to "Santa," all those years ago, he guessed his wish had come true.
He was thirteen this year, and definitely less naïve, but he'd come to the conclusion that even if wishing did nothing for him, it was worth a try. James, Sirius and Peter were being so hopelessly stubborn about this whole "Animagi thing," and he was worried. They were putting their lives, their futures at Hogwarts, everything, on the line – for him. Remus couldn't let them do it, he just couldn't.
So this year, he decided that the perfect Christmas present would be for him to not be a wolf anymore. And of course it never happened, and of course he had to transform on New Years Eve, leaving his friends to worry about him all night, and he didn't feel at all sad, just resigned to the fact, because, like his father had once said, wishing and hoping solved nothing.
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James and Lily got married on Christmas Day, the year Remus turned 20. And watching them was both heartwarming and heart wrenching. He was so happy for them, and yet he wanted to be them. He wanted that.
Long after the ceremony was over, when Lily and James were mingling with guests, Sirius was passed out in the kitchen of their cottage and Peter was entertaining James' mother with tales of Marauder exploits, Remus stood in the snow outside the house. Music and rambunctious laughter echoed as someone attempted the electric slide, judging by the comments.
Glancing through the window, Remus could see Emmeline Vance talking to a girl he's never seen before, and he couldn't help but think she was beautiful. Remus had never been one to ogle girls, in fact he was quite the opposite, but he was a man, and she was gorgeous. Best of all, she had flowing brown locks, andshe was holding a book in her hand, waving it about animatedly.
That Christmas, alone and shivering in the snow as everyone enjoyed the punch, unaware that Sirius had spiked it, Remus Lupin lamented the fact that he would never have the life that Lily and James were destined for, and wished that, just once, he could know the touch and the voice of his own brown haired, literature loving girl.
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Eventually, he found someone whose voice and touch he could love. That Christmas, all he wanted was a stack of Muggle books to lose himself in when the memories of Sirius, James and Lily began to haunt him. Remus never received a single book. Instead, Remus Lupin earnt himself the best present of all. She wasn't brown haired, even if she was quite easily able to be, nor did she have a big interest in literature, but Nymphadora Tonks was nothing short of the best Christmas present Remus had ever had, and he'd been given a fair few.
The End: It's over. I'm incredibly proud of this fic, but also happy to say goodbye, because I never expected this to turn into something so big, and I want to move on to something better. Firstly, I have to thank all of my incredibly dedicated reviewers, especially Rose, Becky and Gaby (xRosePetalx, Crayon Lover & Gaby Black). Your support has meant so much to me. My favourite chapters would have to be Of Hufflepuffs and Scrooges, Release and Christmas Crackers, but I'd love to know your favourites, because everyone has a different opinion.
Much love,
Cuba xx