Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin; this is only a fanfic.

Summary: Losing his life was secondary to losing her. This is the final thoughts and reflections of a dying man regarding his intended. Akira Kiyosato and Tomoe Yukishiro; a forgotten love.

Authors Notes: This is a piece I wrote as a birthday gift to my friend and fellow author, Ishimaru Amon.

Ishi-sensei, my grandmother told me that the best gifts are the ones created, I trust that is true. Since discovering your BD, I have worked diligently to post this on your special day. A bit rushed, but I hope the results are pleasing.

"Happy Birthday!!!"

Soliloquy of the Heart

1864 Genji 1-Kyoto

As I lay here, mortally wounded and drowning in a pool of my own blood, I thought of her. I thought of the woman that, had I lived, would have been my wife.

"Tomoe…"

Her name fell from my lips in a whispered plea.

"Tomoe… Tomoe-chan, please forgive me…"

The assassin's blade was true. It tore through my chest and the blood spurted forth, as I fell to the ground. The pain, that was so intense before, was beginning to dull and I felt my limbs go numb. I had heard men speak of such a feeling before death and I had no choice, but accept the harsh realty of truth.

My lips tremble, but not with fear as I thought of what could have been. As I thought of the future I had envisioned with the woman I had loved for as long as I could remember. And now… it would never be.

"I can't… I can't die now!"

"I can't leave you… I won't…"

With great effort, I attempted to lift my head. My gaze was unfocused, my vision blurred and I realized that I was crying. The ground was drenched with splotches of red; was it the petals of the fallen sakura blossoms, the blood of Jubei Shigekura-sama or my own? It was hard to tell, as the rich colors of the flowers and blood ran together.

"We will marry when I return. I will come to you bearing fresh flowers and my undying love!"

Was it only days before that I had said those words to you, Tomoe-chan? Had I known my fate… had I known it was the last time I would see you, would I have gone?

Sadly, even now, I knew I would have.

Within the circle of crimson blemishing the ground, I noticed a spot of yellow. Reaching out, my fingers shook as I tried to capture the single bloom in my hand. However, it remained as unreachable as your image that had appeared suddenly before me.

"I have heard the good news, Akira Kiyosato-san. You are to be married next month. Such a lovely bride and your childhood sweetheart; you are a lucky man, my boy."

My chest swelled with pride at Shigekura-sama's congratulations. Yes, I was indeed lucky; I realized that now.

My placement within the Kyoto Shoshidai was the first steps in becoming a better man. I did this for you, my love. I wanted you to be proud to call me husband; I wanted you to look upon me as more than your childhood friend. When you looked at me, I wanted to see love and devotion shine from the depths of your eyes. But, alas… fate was not so kind and on this cold ground, in the back streets of Kyoto, my life would end.

"Tomoe…"

I had you loved from the beginning. Even as children, before I knew or understood the meaning of the word, I had loved you. Our families were well acquainted; however, it was well over a year before I could address you with familiarity.

As we grew, you became more lovelier and more… remote. Your smiles were rare and although they were impersonal and distant, there was nothing that I would not have done to attain one.

It was said that I would never gain your favor… that I would never capture your heart, but I would never allow myself to believe that. Your mouth had never uttered a word of your love for me, but I had seen it in your eyes the very day that we were promised to one another.

Was it only a year that we were betrothed? It seems like forever, Tomoe-chan, but I remembered it as if it were yesterday. You had sat silently, dutifully as our upcoming nuptials were announced to the world.

I had envied you your calmness. My stomach was tied in knots, my hands shook and my palms were sweaty. To hide my exhilaration and nervousness, I had enfolded them in the sleeves of my kimono.

Your father, Yukishiro-dono, loved you dearly, Tomoe-chan. So much that he had gone against tradition and in the midst of the public, he had inquired if I was acceptable to you.

Stillness had fallen about the room and I could hear the hushed whispers behind me, but I ignored them. My eyes were focused on you as I awaited your response. You sat demurely, with your hands folded in your lap and the tightening in my belly increased. Would you reject me, I recalled questioning? Was I still only a friend in your eyes?

Suddenly, you nodded acquiescently and my heart soared at your acceptance.

I had sat speechless, hardly believing my good fortune. Staring at your serene countenance, I was rewarded, yet again, by a slight blush staining your cheeks. As your dark gaze turned my way, you bestowed upon me a look I had only seen bequeathed to your father and your little brother, Enishi-kun. And… I knew, without a doubt, that you loved me in return.

"I tried… I tried to live for you, my love!"

I struggled against the numbness and the shock permeating my body. My arm stretched further, renewing its efforts to hold on to your image.

"Tomoe…"

A white mist surrounded you. You sat primly, holding a pot of sakura buds on your lap. The plant stems rose tall and obscured your eyes from my sight. I kept reaching out… reaching to touch you, to have you smile for me.

"Tomoe… I…"

Smile for me… just this once… please. If I am denied the warmth of your eyes, then please… give me this.

I heard the assassin's footsteps as he approached from behind, but I could not turn away from you. I heard the click of his sword as he raised it above his head, preparing to strike, but I still reached for you.

In an instant, your image vanished; I would never see you smile again. I would never hear you laugh or the words that I had so longed to hear fall from your lips, but I believed with all my heart were true.

The felt the assassin's blade plunged deep into the back of my neck, but the pain was nothing compared to leaving you behind. The blades final twist shattered my spine, severing the connection to my brain. With my last dying breath…

"Tomoe… I… love…

The End