Disclaimer: I disavow any ownership of Code Geass or Pizza Hut. Similarly, I deny any relationship to, or involvement in the other various books, movies, video games, celebrities or television shows that I may refer to over the course of this story. If you did not know that before reading this disclaimer, please consult your family tree for inbreeding.

Imagine if the course of history had changed. Imagine if Britain had continued and succeeded in it's conquest of the world, bringing North America, Japan, and the Middle East all under its heel. Imagine if Pizza Hut(tm) became internationally popular. What would the people you know today be like?

Let's find out together, shall we?

Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion

In the year 2010, the Empire of Britannia invaded Japan, which, up to that point, had adopted a policy of nationalistic isolation. In order to be sporting to the small island nation, the Empire mobilized its newest weapon, the Knightmare frames: rollerblading, grappling hook shooting, giant fighting robots.

10 percent of Japanese casualties involved death or injury related to laughter.

Their abilities exceeded expectations by 250, and the Japanese defense crumbled under the might of Project Knightmare. Also, as a result of a bet made on whether the Frames would bring Japan to its knees or fail like the Hindenburg, the General in charge of the invasion was forced to spend a day in a chicken suit.

On national television.

And, he liked it.

Japan became a territory of the empire, and was stripped of its rights, freedom, and even its name. The victors of the war gave it the name Area 11. As such, the Japanese became known as Elevens.

A few months after the initial invasion...

The Japanese soldier fought back tears as he stood at attention, saluting the funeral pyre that held the bodies of his comrades. Beyond him lay the wasteland that was once a popular vacation place for people from all over. Two boys, refugees and friends separated from their homes and family by war, sat nearby on boxes of equipment, thinking about their experiences over the past months.

One of them, a dark haired child, stood, his fists clenched and his eyes blazing with hate.

"Suzaku," he said to his friend, "I will destroy Britannia! I swear it!"

His companion, Suzaku, burst into raucous laughter. Wiping tears from his eyes, he smiled at his friend. "Thanks Lelouch, you always know how to cheer me up."

Lelouch grew angrier. "What was funny about that?!"

"You almost broke your arm beating your sickly, blind, crippled little sister in an arm wrestling match."

"I pulled something in the morning, I swear!"

"Dude, you have the physique of Spongebob Squarepants."

Chapter 1: A Megalomaniac is Born! (Part 1)

"Here is some footage of the bombing in Osaka. Eight Britannians were killed in the attack," said a news anchor as video of a burning building played behind her. She got no further. The television playing the news report turned off. The man holding the remote, an elderly gentleman, glanced at the cards in his cards in his hand as he looked into the eyes of his opponent, a nobleman smugly filing his nails.

The man's name: Baron George Williams, an aristocrat known for his fondness of gambling. He frequently invited opponents of all ages into his mansion to play all manner of games against him for money. Today's opponents were a team composed of the aforementioned gentleman and an unnamed second, who would take over after twenty minutes of play.

A matching smirk appeared on the older man's face. "You've fallen right into my trap, milord."

He placed down a card with a picture of a black spiral.

"First, I will clear the field of monsters with Black Hole. Then, I shall use Monster Revival to bring back..."

The Baron raised an eyebrow at the Duel Monster cards. "But we're playing chess..."

"Oh..."

They redirected their attention to their chess game, in which the older gentleman possessed considerably less skill. In fact, Baron Williams was explaining the queen's ability to move straight and diagonally when the door opened and two young men strode in.

They wore the gold trimmed black uniform of the Ashford Academy students. The pair were reminiscent of a knight and squire, or any other combination of leader and follower. One, wearing a striped motorcycle helmet, walked with an air of slight apprehension. By contrast, his friend, a dark haired teenager stood upright, and strode with the steady confidence of a king. A small, rather arrogant smile appeared on his face.

His predecessor breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness you're here! How goes things at school?"

The Baron looked at the newcomer with interest. "A student, eh? What's your name?"

"A nobleman, eh?" He echoed. "And, its Lelouch Lamperouge."

"How nice for you kids to have so much free time..."

Lelouch's friend studied the chessboard. "Holy...I don't think you can win this one!"

"Relax, Leval. How long will it take to get to class?"

"Twenty minutes, give or take, if we rush."

"Well, remember to drive safely. This will be over in nine minutes." He turned to the old gentleman. "By the way, about that little matter."

In the interest of keeping things from the audience, man gave an equally vague response. "Yes, I'll talk to them."

He left, as Williams told Lelouch, as per his nine minute estimate, of his twenty second time limit between moves.

"That's plenty," replied the young man, picking up the black king.

Baron George laughed heartily at the decision.

Similarly, Lelouch grinned cheerfully.

Meanwhile...

The eighteen wheeler sped along the highway, with cars veering off to the side in order to avoid the presumably crazy driver.

Behind them, attack helicopters dispatched from the Royal Air Force followed closely, the pilots relaying directions on the truck's position back to headquarters (N.B. I'm just assuming, of course that the air force would still be called the RAF despite this being an alternate universe).

Britannia defeated Japan in the war. No one disputed this fact. Yet, the battle was not over. Most Japanese opposed the Britannian rule, and many chose to fight against it. These underground rebellions, small, but many, had been labeled terrorists by the government. But the virtually enslaved Japanese largely saw them as freedom fighters. The people driving the truck belonged to such a group.

One of the people in the front seat, a teenage girl with vibrant pink hair, gritted her teeth.

"Blast! They're still following us!"

"What do you expect them to do, stop for a bathroom break?"

"Well, that would help..."

In the air above, one of the aircraft's occupants crossed his legs. "John, I fricking need to go."

"That truck is carrying a bomb! Hold it in!"

"That last cup of tea was a mistake."

After a PWNing at chess...

His pockets considerably heavier, Lelouch walked from the dark study of the mansion into the sun. Leval laughed aloud.

"Eight minutes and 32 seconds, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't been there!"

"No big deal. I barely even tried. That worm of a nobleman couldn't play chess to save his life."

The jingle of a news report caught their attention. "Now, an announcement from the steward of Area 11 and third in line to the throne, Prince Clovis."

The students looked up at the TV screen attached to an office building.

A comically effeminate man in his twenties appeared on the screen.

"My friends and fellow citizens of Britannia!"

Here, he clutched his chest, face contorted in what he presumed a distraught, outraged expression.

"This violence tears my heart in two. I vow to you, I will make a firm stand against these terrorists! This battle is one for peace, justice, and the happiness of all people! Now, a moment of silence for those that we have lost."

Anyone watching cringed at the prince's ham acting.

In North America...

Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper wore identical scowls on their faces.

"We both give Prince Clovis two thumbs down." Said Ebert.

"Agreed. This man speaks with all the subtlety and sincerity of a sledgehammer." Said Roeper.

The other members of the private detective agency stared at them, confused.

In another part of N.A...

Adam Sessler shook his head in a despairing manner.

"Oh, this is just embarrassing. We give Clovis's performance a "one" out of five."

Every person at the room wondered what the banker was talking about.

In outer space...

"Woah. Somebody looks fabulous!" quipped Crow.

Tom Servo pretended to read a newspaper. "Hey, look at this. "Worldwide consensus to stop making cracks at David Beckham and Ryan Seacrest. World will now make cracks at third prince of Britannia."

(Note: This author would like a moment to apologize for the appearance of Prince Clovis. He was not meant to represent the average human male. We now return you to your scheduled Fan Fiction already in progress.)

Boy genius and hijackers with stolen truck. For all intents and purposes, these people from different worlds seemed unrelated. Yet, they were about to meet. And the alliance formed between them would cause their world to tremble.

As Lelouch suggested, Leval drove his motorcycle at a leisurely pace, allowing his friend to read from a small pocket book, as the wind whipped at his raven hair, driving fangirls wild.

Then, came the truck. Pulling onto the highway from an offramp, it appeared behind them, its horn blaring at the students.

"Hey, move it or lose it! Who taught you to drive, your grandma?" The driver shouted at them through a window.

Stung by the remark, Leval turned around. "I'll have you know that my grandma drives monster trucks for a living, dipwad!"

His retort left the detractor speechless. Slightly disturbed, the truck driver attempted to drive around the much slower motorcycle, forgetting that (A) the truck took up more than a lane's worth of space by itself, meaning no space, and (B) no off-ramp existed at that time.

In a scene destined to make the rounds on "World's Most Extreme Car Crashes", the truck fell from a short distance down to the construction site below, slamming into a half finished building. Bystanders looked on from a nearby sidewalk, making stupid comments, such as, "Gee, I hope they're okay.", and "Wow, that building is really strong. Look how it just absorbed the impact of that truck.", making video game NPCs everywhere proud.

"I bet we get blamed for this." Leval said, cringing at the destruction.

Lelouch said nothing. A strange sight had caught his eye. On top of the truck, the transparent figure of a young girl had appeared, beckoning to him.

"When you get back to school, cover for me." Lelouch threw his helmet to his friend, and took off running toward the crash site.

On the next chapter of Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion:

Nunally heard her brother's voice through the walkie-talkie. "Okay, now carefully cut the green wire. Just the green one."

"Are you crazy? I can't see the green wire!" But she certainly could hear the sound of the digital timer, ticking down toward zero.

Clovis sneered at an outraged Lelouch. "Killing me won't bring her back, you know."

"Fancy that." The dark haired teen emptied his handgun into the prince's head.

Suzaku leapt to his feet in excitement. "That's it! I knew it! The cure for the common cold is Windex(tm)!

Don't miss it.