I know that it's not Love, but I don't know what else to call it. I can't describe this feeling in words, but if I were to try I would just simply say that I loved him. I wouldn't try and capture my indescribable compassion for this boy. Ever sense I join the Organization he had been my closest friend. Never before had I thought that I could have loved him. I was so used to not feeling anything at all. No, I was used to one feeling, which was loneliness.

When I first entered Organization XIII, I didn't talk to anyone. Until one day when someone knocked at my door. I stood confused, was it my imagination? A second knock. I walked cautiously to my bedroom door. I stopped in front of the frame, wondering who it could have been. Before I could comprehend this any further a voice called out to me.

"Roxas! Open your damn door. I'll kick your fucking ass if you don't." I didn't know anyone's voice yet, just because I never talked to anyone before. I opened the door and there stood a man. He had fire engine red hair and two obtuse triangles under his eyes. I didn't know him by his name, only by his number.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"Don't give me attitude, got it memorized?" He spoke and as he said this he pushed his way past me and lay down on my bed. "I just thought we could have a little chat. You've been isolating and it's pissing me off."

I didn't say anything I just shut the door and sat down with my back to it. I never even thought that someone from the Organization would want to befriend me. I looked at him, but he was looking at the ceiling. "It's Axel, right?" He nodded, "Well, Axel, I'm sorry, but I don't plan to be in this Organization for long."

"Come on, all nobodies disappear eventually. Where will you go? Will you pretend to be normal? You couldn't fool anyone. You can't even fake an emotion. Got it memorized?" He didn't turn to look at me as he insulted me. It didn't bother me because he was right.

"How do you fake an emotion?" I asked after a silence.

"It's something that you just pick up over time." He said and finally looked over to me. "Roxas?"

"Ya?"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure."

"You remind me of someone I once knew." Axel told me. "I don't know if it was a dream, but you remind me of my father. Well not mine, but my somebodies. He was a lot like you."

"I can't remember anything about my somebodies life. I think he was a hero. I just know his name is Sora." That name felt weird as it crossed my lips. I didn't know where it came from. I never heard or thought about that name. "What's this emotion? I feel like someone just died. Someone close to me."

"Sadness." He answered me. "You really are new to this."

"I'm sick of this already." I sighed, frustrated at the fact that I was even created. Not to say that I didn't value my life, but that my somebody died. I know that he had a strong heart or I would have just been some meaningless nobody.

Axel sat up with his back to the wall. He patted the spot next to him. I stood and sat beside him. He put his hand on my knee. I was confused and gave him a strange look.

He put his gloved hand under my chin and held up my face. He came closer to me, I was still confused. His lips touched mine. I had never heard of this before, but if I had to describe this it felt good. The next thing I knew Axel was on top of me. His knees on either side of my hips.

"Axel." I managed to say. He pulled his tongue out of my mouth, but he still lingered close to my face.

"What is it?" His breath smelled like cinnamon gum.

"What is this called?" I felt like an idiot, but I had been wondering this the whole time his tongue was in my mouth.

"A kiss. Got it memorized?"

"I think so." He came closer again. "Wait. Are you taking advantage of me because I don't know what I'm doing?"

"I'm not even going to lie to you. I am." He kissed me again, "Is that okay with you?"

"Should it be?" I asked and wrinkled my nose.

"Only if you like this."

"Shut up and kiss me again." I pulled on his robes and kissed him. I wanted him to feel good too. I wanted to return what he gave me. His hand was under my head and gripping my hair. And my hands were pushing against his chest because I didn't realize that I was supposed to move them.

That's what started our 'friendship' as he called it. Back then I had never heard of love. I didn't understand the concept. But now that I remember this I think it is love. I'll have to tell you what else happened so you can decide if it was love after all.

Good bye for now.

Love,

Roxas