Well, let's see. We've had clothes, we've had pets, we've had pole dancing and we also had spanking. Well, I decided to go more serious and produce this. Basic crap, pretty much what always happens when I get my hands on a fandom.

Just thought of shoving Mori, Kyouya and Haruhi together, a simple plot from which this...abomination arose, so you know...Review and tell me what you think.

Thank you,

Oh by the way, much thanks to –

Sakura Angel 4eva – It's nice to know you feel sorry for them. Unfortunately for them, I plan on torturing them some more. And oh no. I think Mori can go a lot further before he's gone too far. Much further –evil laughs!-And here ya go, enjoy.

loretta537 – Thanks! And it's nice to know I made somebody laugh with my weird and twisted sense of humour. It's very strange. It's not nice to know you forgot all about this story though – cries – I hope this chapter will not allow you to forget me again! And yes, poor poor Kyouya. Unfortunately for him, I'm not through with him yet. Not for a long while.

Punk Pikachu – Ooh...Okay. Here you go. Here's more... and also I agree. Mori is perfect for the Dom position. Just never got the chance before.

Hack.Drawer – Oh dear. I do hope you and your keyboard are alright. It would be a terrible shame to miss this and the next chapter. XD. Thanks for reviewing, though!

AyriesKukku– Cheers my dear friend – hopes you're still alive out there -

garrettignasia – THERE YA GO! Enjoy!

A Comforting Madness

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Kyouya was for the first time in nearly a month, very very happy. Insanely so. If he was more like Tamaki he would be sporting a grin fit to split his head in two. Since he wasn't, he was merely wearing a very tiny smirk. The reasons for said happiness was very simple. Insanely so. But it was oh so wonderful!

He had left early from school today, missing the Host Club. Simple.

Kyouya's father was holding a very important party for several prospective clients and all the Ootori family was required to attend. So aunts, uncles, various cousins and several relatives Kyouya had never seen before were all crowding the mansion but still. He didn't mind. Even if that little girl in the pink dress did keep trying to smear his very expensive Italian hand made suit, with a black shirt and an open neck collar that would feed a family of six in Africa well into the next decade. Because of this party, Kyouya had been pulled from school at three o'clock, taken by limousine to his family mansion and briefed on the party and its guests. He now knew every guest by name, could pick them out from a distance and knew many of their 'hidden' secrets. It paid, apparently, to have a secret police force to find out dirt on very important people.

He took one last look around his bedroom, adjusted his shirt, relished the feeling of not wearing a collar with the label of Kyouya-Manly-Bitch on it nor wearing a very very uncomfortable harness and departed. Locking his door behind him, of course. It wouldn't do for anyone to get into his room. He did not need to be convincing some drunkard why he should not throw up in his room at three o'clock in the morning, again.

Walking down the stairs, the sounds of the party drifted up to meet him. Even though it was only just past four o'clock in the afternoon, the party was in full swing with more than one hundred in attendance. Such a business venture and maybe he'd get to meet some nice clients who he make some money with. Very business minded was our Kyouya.

He ingled with the crowd, opening the front door and welcoming people into the Ootori family home. He laughed, he danced, he introduced himself to several important people and tasted three different wines and sent back three dishes back the kitchens due to a hellish presentation on all of them. Apparently he head cook was now crying bu t, it was a business party. Just heaven for our little mini business man in the making, Kyouya. Of course, it couldn't last.

Someone knocked on the door. It sounded actually more like a sledgehammer being slammed into the wood but some business partners were Western and didn't know how to knock quietly. Horribly uncouth people many of them, but then you often found the most money in them, so the uncouthness was tolerated. Just barely.

He swanned down the stairs from where he shown a guest a portrait, hardly aware of the several other guests who had gathered to see who the knocker was. He reached the door, ran a hand through his hair and smoothly swung it open. "Welcome to the Ootori partner-"

"Mother! We were so worried when you didn't come to the club!"

No. Freaking. Way. But there on his doorstep was four of the people he least wanted to see. In the whole world.

Tamaki, clad only in very short leather shorts, a harness and that ever present collar was bouncing around saying, "Of course, I knew Mother wouldn't want me to allow him to miss the Club! Honey wouldn't stop crying, Mother and the Twins kept on molesting our Darling daughter and everyone was crying because Mother wasn't there to provide entertainment and pleasure to our lovely guest-"

Behind Tamaki Hikaru and Kaoru, wearing only corsets and short shorts, were practising for their acts, and Honey beside them was clutching Bun-Bun and looking very very miserable. Ah. It was nearly time for his nap and he was far from a bed. Oh God. He was turning into a mother, fretting about nap times.

Tamaki was still burbling on about how his mother wouldn't have missed the first time Mori swung Haruhi up in her new outfit- Hang on. Where were Haruhi and Mori for that matter? They should have come with the rest of the Host Club, in a limo, Tamaki's if he wasn't mistaken. This was an unmitigated disaster, of the first degree. His only hope was to get them off his doorstep and through the front gates, before anyone noticed. Fingers crossed he could pull it off. He turned ready to summon some of the security detail lurking around, when the door in his hands went SHOVE and he fell ten feet across the entrance hall.

Kyouya stared at the ceiling while he waited for the world to stop spinning. Tamaki prattled on next to him and twins could be heard exclaiming over some guest's clothes in the far distance. Tamaki crawled to his side practically shrieking "Mother! Are you alright? Mori didn't spank you again, did he? I told him it was too soon after last time, and he took you right after didn't he?"

Kyouya shut his eyes, threw an arm over his face and wished the ground would swallow him up. He vaguely heard some of the guests in the entrance hall and then of course they called for their friends and family. He opened one eye and lifted his arm just enough to see what was happening. The hall was lined with guests laughing and joking at the blonde haired twerp still kneeling at Kyouya's side, ranting about Kyouya's spanking at what seemed the very top of his lungs. The twins were gesturing at some painting or other, and Honey was standing in the entrance way, clutching Bun-Bun pitifully. And just when he thought it couldn't get any worse...

"Tamaki-Sempai, No!" Haruhi's voice drifted up from the outside. The crunch of gravel and the sound of shifting gears confirmed the fact hat she had come on a bicycle. She threw her bike down and pounded up the stairs. All nineteen of them. Kyouya had counted them. "Damn!" she stopped in the doorway, just behind Honey. Her maid's uniform seemed especially raunchy in front of his father's guests. The garter belt flashed as she stepped past the shorter boy and the stockings whispered as she walked. "I was too late, wasn't I, Kyouya-sempai?"

"Yes. Yes, you were Haruhi." He felt like crying, more than last time. He dragged himself upright with her help and tried not to notice the guests all staring at him. Shuffled over to the door, and leant his head on it.

"They left me there at the club – I had to close it properly..." She trailed off. "I rode as hard as I could-"

"You did your best Haruhi." He really wanted to cry now. He started to swing the door shut only for it to catch for some reason. He shoved at it more forcefully and then the door, for the second time that day, shoved him back. Sprawled this time nearly twenty feet from the door, he could watch in amazement as Mori strode through the door. His day was not improving.

"You weren't at the club." Mori's voice sounded like velvet. Out of the corner of his eye he saw several of the female guest swoon at his voice.

"Mori-master! You made it!" The twins joined in. They did not just call Mori that...They did.

"Hn." Duh...

"Will you take him over your knee for not turning up to the club? Or will you cane him like last time? Can we video tape it? It would be good for the patrons to see our Shadow King to be taken down a step!"

"...Maybe." Kyouya's head snapped around that that. You what?! Oh he did not just say that? He did not! Not in front of all these guests! Surely.

He spotted his sister, dressed in black over near his left side, still mixed in with the crowd of guests. He called to her.

"Fuyumi?"

"Yes, Kyouya?"

"Please call the psychiatrist. Tell her I like to take that holiday now. Please."

"Ah certainly."

"Haruhi?"

"If you don't mind." She knew what was going on.

"I don't. Please make that for two, Fuyumi."

"Certainly."

"Thank you."

Kyouya moved to sit up. He felt very very weary, as if he had run a marathon. Haruhi moved in front of him, also on her knees. She tipped his head forward and he fell forward into her neck. It was warm and smelt of Haruhi. Instant coffee, a slight hint of the deodorant she wore, vanilla flavour and distinctly something Haruhi.

"Tamaki." When the blond twerp responded, Kyouya overrode whatever the dolt was going to say. "Please, go home."

"But Mother-"

"Go. Home."

For a second it sounded like he was going to protest then, thank the gods the idiot finally obeyed orders and said, very quietly... "I think I'll go then, if you don't mind."

The twins murmured an assent and Honey said a mournful "Bye, Kyo-chan."

"Haruhi, daughter, Mother wants some alone time-"

"No." Mori had spoken. Kyouya just buried his head deeper in Haruhi's neck.

"Kyouya?" Haruhi lifted his head off her shoulder. "Are you crying?"

He lifted one hand to his face. It was wet with tears, like he was weeping an ocean. Strange. It had been a long time since he had cried, even longer since he had cried silently. A hand in his hair, and his head was pulled up gently to see Mori, standing just behind Haruhi. A gentle hand brushed through the tears and he closed his eyes. Maybe, just maybe. It wouldn't be so bad to be in the Host Club.

Suddenly he was airborne. The he came down with a gentle whump! over a broad shoulder, and silver chains clinked somewhere around his waist. Of course. He was over Mori's shoulder and the chains were what doubled as a necklace for Mori. Haruhi's face, pale and with large brown eyes, peered up at him, from his rather undignified position. Although, after today, he really didn't think he had any left. Mori's hand snuck around to grab Haruhi's and she too was pulled to her feet. Mori didn't let go of her left hand and she reached up with her right one and grabbed Kyouya's. He didn't shake her off.

The three of them walked slowly over to the stairs and the crowd parted for them like the Red Sea before Moses. Carefully, Mori traversed the twenty three stairs and Haruhi followed them.

The last thing Kyouya heard was a man turning to his father and saying, "Well, it's nice to know your family is supportive of alternative lifestyles."

Kyouya just buried his head into the back of Mori's shirt and tried to ignore the hand stroking his ass.

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Kyouya's just getting shredded in BDSM ain't he?

Review and tell him how you feel (and me), please!