Hello!

Just look what Easter Bunny dragged in!

First off, many thanks to beautiful people who have reviewed since the last chapter! I love you! ❤

Shu Ouma GC, BerryBiru, CCstar01, Guest, Animefanx3, Hbarrera98, XenoLucifer, Brenda Joyeux, Maxi Archer, pixerletter, BrownEyesAngel, Jurija, eminutemen18, Guest, Twinborne, Kate Aurora, Mina Xu, Gewura

I finally replied to all reviews and PMs! As usual, I replied to guest reviews on my profile, so if you left your review unlogged, go there to check it out :)

I also updated the following chapters, so do give them a reread for some old and new excitements! Apart from major cosmetic changes, and changes in the time line – I moved one particular event to a previous day and added two days or so – you'll find there amongst other things:

chapter 10 – more drama between Rukia and Ulquiorra
chapter 11 – more drama, Rukia's motivations and frame of mind are clearer and Ulquiorra responds to it, and two new omakes
chapter 12 – added two days, so our heroes can spend some quality time together and learn a thing or two about each other, a subtle shenanigan on Gin's part, Ulquiorra's a tad more protective/possessive

As for this chapter, it's mostly a setup for what is to come, though I hope you'll find some neat moments in it. Quite a few characters get a spotlight! :)

This time around it was Ulquiorra who was most difficult to write. I wasn't sure in which direction I should take him at first. I hope I did him justice, though!

It's not a very uplifting chapter, but I hope it'll make you smile in those unpleasant and unstable times!

朝霧 -Asagiri-

The Frozen Whisper
by Asagiri

Chapter 26
Torn

Ulquiorra stared at the spot where Rukia had been standing mere seconds ago. She had vanished, right in front of his eyes. Just like that. Suddenly. Silently. Only traces in the sand were the proof that she had been there, with Orihime Inoue, but soon the footmarks would be gone, erased by the Hueco Mundo's relentless winds. His always sharp mind was momentarily rendered blank, and all he could think of was how they were supposed to see each other again this evening. He had even made a promise; she had said she would be waiting for him… Now, no-one waited for him. His dream was gone.

No matter how clever he was, he couldn't have foreseen that.

In the turmoil of his thoughts a new one arose, filling him with resentment. Rukia had deceived him! She had blinded his eyes. She had enervated his mind, fooled his intellect. She had betrayed his trust!

And yet…

The more despair-reeking winds were moving the sand, covering their footmarks, the more he was feeling empty. Though it was a different kind of emptiness from the one he knew – his innate emptiness was just there, from the very beginning, and would be there until his very end. This one, however, arose from something brutally torn out from him, like his guts… or his heart. It replaced something that was, changing it into a gaping, aching void.

Unusually at a loss, he switched to cold logic that told him he had to report this incident to Aizen-sama at once. Thus he moved with Sonido, and appearing in front of his master, he got to one knee and lowered his head in submission and acceptance of whatever the fate awaited him.

"My deepest apologies for this inexcusable incompetence, Aizen-sama. Orihime Inoue and Rukia Kuchiki somehow found a way to escape from Hueco Mundo. Shall I pursue them?" Inwardly he begged for an order to recapture the two women.

"No need, Ulquiorra," came the disappointing answer. "There wasn't much left they were useful for anyway. Though I do wonder how they escaped…"

Ulquiorra tensed under Aizen-sama's scrutinising gaze, inquiring his loyalty. He could use Solita Vista to show him and everyone else how the women had disappeared, but unless directly ordered to, he would rather not replay the incident and consequently let them experience the void he felt at the sudden loss of Rukia.

Instead he continued with his report, his voice oddly normal and indifferent even to his own ears, "Orihime Inoue grasped Rukia Kuchiki. She held something in her hands, something small, but I do not know what it was. She broke it in half, and they vanished. Whatever it was, however, I am certain those were not the powers of any of those women. The help must have come from the outside." Whoever it was, Ulquiorra wanted to kill them. And anyone else that Rukia could have wanted to return to.

"Maybe Urahara-san?" Ichimaru suggested. His voice was as cheery as always. "From what I've heard 'twas at his request Orihime-chan was able to leave fer Human World at all, wasn't it? Before comin' to us… Maybe she didn't come without a plan?"

Aizen-sama contemplated it for a moment, and eventually nodded. "Yes, you might be right, Gin." He chuckled to himself. "I must commend them for pulling off this feat. I've underestimated them, especially Orihime. It'll become a good lesson."

Then he again turned to Ulquiorra. "I have to ask you a question, though, Ulquiorra. Have you ever spoken of our plans to Rukia?"

Part of him wanted to lie – this way perhaps he would be sent after them or killed on the spot, either would be a mercy. However Aizen-sama's presence demanded truth and nothing else, so he ended up saying, "No, never. That Shinigami knows nothing."

"Very well. So this little incident happens to be inconsequential. You can stand up now, Ulquiorra."

He rose to his feet. There might not be disappointment in Aizen-sama's face, but there was a warning in his eyes – another mistake would result in dire consequences.

Ulquiorra bowed deeply. "Thank you, Aizen-sama. I shall never disappoint you again."

In return he received a kind smile. Had he had any heed for his own life, he would have been terrified.

"Now let's resume the meeting, we still have quite a few topics to go through."

"Ulquiorra…" Rukia whispered, but he was no longer there to reply.

She wasn't sure if it was a side effect of the teleportation Spell or just the shock of abruptly having been torn away from Ulquiorra, but she was stupefied. Actually, each of her senses was numbed. Staring dumbly into the space, her gaze unfocused, she was barely registering Inoue hugging her tightly.

She felt hollow inside. It was as if most of her being had been left in Hueco Mundo, and only her shell got brought here.

Rukia tried to move. The limb-binding frost was gone, but her body didn't quite respond like it belonged to her. Minute after minute her senses were slowly coming back to her. She now could feel heat of Inoue's body wrapped around her. Then a sound of her friend's sobs reached her ears. It took her another couple of seconds to realise they formed words: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

She frowned, confused and worried. There was something wrong, and not only because Ulquiorra was gone or her body felt alien and hollow. It was Inoue. She had noticed it before, there just had been no time to inquire then.

The door to the room suddenly slid open and she heard excited, "Rukia-dono! Orihime-dono!" It was Tessai, closely followed by Jinta and Ururu.

She stared at them for a moment, unable to feel much at seeing friendly faces. Her own emotional hollowness scared her, but this was no time nor place to dwell on it, as well as she just didn't know how to deal with it. So she pushed aside any thoughts but those regarding Inoue and focused on her distraught friend.

Stretching her arms and fingers to regain full control of them, Rukia motioned Tessai and the kids to be quiet and stay where they were. Then, she gently guided Inoue to sit on the floor, and hugged her back.

"What's wrong, Inoue?" she asked quietly, stroking her hair. Inoue's sobs only became more violent in response.

"Shhh, calm down," she tried to comfort her. "We're back home. Everything's going to be all right… Now that we're all together, we'll be fine. Aizen can take his army and—"

"I helped Aizen-san!" Inoue burst out suddenly. Her voice was full of pain and regret. "I-I made him stronger. Maybe invincible… Oh gods, I'm so sorry! I doomed us all."

Rukia tightened her embrace, and gently asked, "What? What are you talking about?"

Inoue trembled in her arms. From her heavy breaths and sobs the Shinigami knew she was trying to reply, but the words were getting stuck in her throat. She waited patiently, giving her friend time to collect her thoughts. And courage, too.

"Hōgyoku…" Inoue began, and once she got out the first word, the rest poured out in a chaotic gush. "He… he made me h-help him become one with Hōgyoku! He said… he said it would make him i-invincible. I didn't w-want to do it, but he threatened he would have Nnoitra do something t-terrible to you, Kuchiki-san. And Ulquiorra-san kept silent… And…"

Rukia tensed hearing his name, a painful pang in her heart. Fortunately it went unnoticed by anyone, as Inoue continued to get everything off her chest.

"And I couldn't let them hurt you… I just couldn't! And n-now Aizen-san's one with Hōgyoku. And I felt it. I felt how t-terrifying he will become! Oh gods, I'm so, so, so terribly sorry."

Inoue finished her confession. Rukia could feel her warm tears falling on her shoulder and sliding down her back. It must have been a heavy burden for her. She felt sorry for her, that such an innocent girl had to go through all that.

And Inoue had done it all for her. Rukia felt bad that she was unable to feel as thankful as she wanted to be; as Inoue deserved her to be.

"It's all right," the Shinigami said soothingly. "It wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong."

She felt her friend shake her head. Pulling back, she cupped her face, but the girl refused to meet her eyes. "Look at me, Inoue. Inoue." Finally Rukia made her look at her. Pressing her forehead to hers – it was burning against her own cool one – she spoke firmly, "Listen to me, Inoue. It wasn't your fault. Don't think about it this way. Just don't think about it altogether. Everything's going to be just fine."

"Kuchiki-san…" the Human girl whimpered.

"Oh, Inoue…" Rukia sighed and began brushing off her tears. How much she wanted to make Aizen pay for upsetting her friend this much. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It must have been really hard on you. But it's all right now. Don't cry, please."

Inoue's lips quirked up in a painful smile and more tears cascaded down her cheeks.

Rukia tirelessly tried to cheer her up. "We're home. We'll see our friends in no time. And together we'll show Aizen that he's not as great as he thinks he is. Okay?"

The Human girl wiped her eyes with her sleeves and fervently nodded her head.

"But don't tell anyone else about him and Hōgyoku, okay? Just don't. I'll inform the Gotei 13 about it. I'll think something up. Okay?"

This time Inoue's nod was hesitant.

Rukia smiled reassuringly. "Trust me, it'll be easier this way." If possible, she didn't want her friend to be labelled as a traitor, which some people would call her undoubtedly, even though nothing was her fault.

Then she turned to Urahara's employees. "And you, Tessai, Jinta, Ururu… please forget what Inoue just said. Well, maybe Urahara should know the details, but no-one else. Please…"

"Of course!" Tessai exclaimed and Ururu nodded with a shy smile.

Jinta put on a cool face. "I already forgot what I was supposed to forget."

Rukia smiled at them, relieved that they understood and complied. "Thank you." She was also glad there were things she could take care of. It kept her mind off her thoughts and feelings.

"I'll get in touch with Urahara-dono and Soul Society, and bring some tea," Tessai said and urged the kids to go with him, so the girls could have some peace after their hardships in Hueco Mundo.

Once they were alone, Rukia heaved a tired sigh. "I don't know about you, Inoue, but I'm knackered. Let's rest for a bit," she suggested, and without waiting for Inoue's reply, she pulled them down on the tatami floor and closed her eyes.

The Human girl seemed to agree, because she only moved a bit to make herself more comfortable and clung to Rukia for comfort. "I'm sorry…" she whispered.

The Shinigami brushed her hair. "Shhh… Be strong, Inoue. Now we have to be stronger than ever before."

The rest of the meeting went smoothly without any incidents, and once Aizen-sama left, it was over.

"Grimmjow, don't," Nel told him firmly, grabbing his arm. She saw his cruel smirk, and it didn't take a genius to figure out he wanted to rub Rukia's disappearance in Ulquiorra's face. "Leave him alone."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she silenced him with a stern look.

"Don't. Let's go," she urged him, and started pulling him towards the exit. There was a scowl on his face, but he let her guide him.

Nel stopped in her tracks abruptly, almost causing Grimmjow to walk into her. He grumbled something under his nose, while at the same time she cursed, "Dammit." Nnoitra was approaching Ulquiorra with a predator-like smile. Narrowing her eyes at the 5th Espada, she let go of Grimmjow's arm and told him, "Go, there's an arsehole I need to take care of."

Despite her words, she hesitated. Just thinking about Nnoitra and his mad hatred towards her made her feel uneasy. She didn't want to be showered with abuse – especially not from the man she held dear in her heart. She used to think she could get used to it, ignore it, but every time it hurt the same. But at the same time she also couldn't stand by and watch him harass other people when she could stop him.

Nnoitra was circling around Ulquiorra, saying rotten words that made her sick. He was too immersed in his warped vision that he didn't notice her nearing. "If you have severed some nerves in her spine, that bitch wouldn't have fuckin' ran away from you. Just the legs would have been enough. You wouldn't like it if she just lay there fuckin' still and unmovin', after all. Just imagine the despair in her pretty eyes as—"

Nel slapped him as hard as she could. Even through his Hierro he most definitely felt it.

As quickly as they grew wide-open, Nnoitra's eyes narrowed into a vehement glare. "Nelliel, you fuckin' bitch," he seethed.

His focus shifted to her, just as she hoped it would. Ulquiorra only gave them an impassive stare, turned around and went his way. They were alone now, for what Nel was grateful. She didn't need any spectators.

"You're a sodding idiot," she told him, her voice as calm as ever.

"You really want me to teach you who's fuckin' superior now, don'tcha?"

"You're weak, Nnoitra. Much weaker than before. Despite your physical strength, you're such a pitiful bastard, it makes me actually sad," she taunted him. It was easy, too easy – after all, pity was what he hated the most. It was the only thing that actually scared him. And coming from the woman he hated because she knew his weakness… That ought to break the straw.

Nnoitra made a move to backhand her. She stood her ground unflinchingly, allowing the hit to land. Physically it didn't hurt much, anyway.

Nel rubbed her cheek, and narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you feel better now, Nnoitra? Did it actually make you a greater man? Or a stronger man? Someone who matters or even strikes fear?"

"Shut your fuckin' trap!" His hand grabbed her throat. "As usual you preach and preach, but it's the wrong gospel."

"And you're blind…" she grunted.

She grasped his wrist, and was about to use his arm as a support to launch a kick in his face, when his hold on her throat loosened suddenly.

"Nel…"

She looked at him sharply.

"Let go of her, dickwad," a gruff voice sounded next to them, and a hand grabbed Nnoitra's arm.

Nel quickly searched the 5th Espada's face, but saw nothing she hoped to see. It was twisted in hate and anger, while his eye poorly concealed despair-driven madness.

"Fuck off, Grimmjow," Nnoitra snarled, but retracted his hand anyway. Sending his last glare that promised her he would finish her off in the worst way imaginable, he turned around and stalked away.

Nel watched him leave, her heart convulsing with sadness. A feeling of utter loss gnawed at her entrails, and it made her want to just curl up somewhere dark and cry. For a moment there it seemed they had almost re-connected, but it only made her realise all the more just how lost he was to her and she to him.

Clenching her jaw, she buried her most vulnerable emotions deep inside her soul, making sure they wouldn't surface. She had company, after all.

She huffed, "Thank you, Grimmjow, but that was unnecessary."

"Seemed to me you were in a pickle there." He only shrugged nonchalantly, but she could tell he was watching her closely. Stealth wasn't his forte, apparently.

"Didn't take you for a knight in shining armour," Nel retorted, miffed, though she tried to sound good-naturedly.

He smirked. "I'm not. And frankly, you're no princess either."

She snorted, acting amused, when inwardly she just wanted to be alone. Sadly she didn't think he would leave her be. He could be quite exasperating, from what she could tell from their previous encounters.

It didn't mean she wouldn't try anyway. "There's no point in idling here, I'm off."

"Yeah," he agreed, falling in the same pace as she.

Nel sighed. So much for trying…

・

Grimmjow was pretty sure that she wanted him to leave her alone, but he didn't care. While at the same time he sort of cared? About what, he wasn't sure, but he wasn't someone who pondered about things, so he just went with his gut feeling. And his gut was telling him to stick with her for a while, because he might learn something. Not to mention, he liked her company, as simple as that.

"Did you know this would happen?" he asked, breaking the silence. Seeing her unsure glance, he clarified, "Ulquiorra's girl."

"No," Nel replied after a pause, her voice gentle yet sad. "Though I think it's for the better."

Grimmjow frowned. "Didn't you want him to be happy?"

She stared down the corridor, but her gaze didn't seem to focus on anything. "I did. I still do. But it wouldn't work out. It's better it ended when they were both happy, instead of him hurting Rukia. This way their relationship will remain untainted in their memories."

He had no idea whether her statement was cold or considerate. Not knowing how to reply, he only gave out a soft grunt that neither agreed nor disagreed with her. The atmosphere around them was heavy, Nel clearly bothered by something. Something deeply personal, something he wanted to figure out. He ruffled his hair in frustration, knowing fairly well he wasn't cut out to ponder on things or analyse them. So he took a direct approach.

"Something similar happened to you?" he asked carefully, though with the way she looked at him, he might have as well as slapped her.

"What?"

He groaned, suddenly feeling uneasy. To hell with it. "I'm not a smart guy or a particularly observant one, but I'm not fucking blind either. Something's troubling you, and it seems to parallel Ulquiorra's story. Or rather his girl's? I don't know," he growled, annoyed with himself and her problem. "And for some fucking reason it involves that Nnoitra fuckstick, too."

"I'm sorry, Grimmjow, but this is no concern of yours," she said coldly, while stubbornly looking ahead, away from him.

He scowled. "It is."

She stopped and stared at him with wide eyes.

"It absolutely annoys me to see you sad. I don't know why, but it just annoys the fuck outta me."

"Inoue! Rukia! Inoue-san! Kuchiki-san!"

Through a mist of slumber Rukia heard a buzz of familiar voices coming from a distance. It confused her. Was it a dream? She stirred a bit. Her body ached from a number of bruises. Her left arm was numb and her right leg was throbbing with pain. Someone was holding her, their breath shallow and ragged. Inoue… she remembered. They lay on the tatami floor, its grassy smell reached her nose, making her feel safe and cosy – it was the smell of home.

She opened her eyes just when the shōji door to the room soundly slid open. A commotion of orange, red, and black hastily approached them: Ichigo and Renji, with Sado and Ishida on their heels.

"Rukia! Inoue-san! Kuchiki-san! Inoue! Kuchiki!"

Still confused, she carefully sat up, gently nudging Inoue to wake up. The girl let out a soft groan and opened her eyes. Seeing they weren't alone, she jerked and abruptly sat up.

All six of them stared at each other, as if having trouble believing they were finally seeing each other after long separation under those unfortunate circumstances.

"Renji… Ichigo… Ishida… Sado…" Rukia uttered, their names rolling off her tongue in familiar yet somehow lost sounds. She hadn't spoken them in such a long, long time… A whimper escaped her throat, and she looked at Inoue, back at the boys, and again at the girl. "We're back, Inoue, we're home…"

And as if on cue, they all jumped into each other arms. They hugged tightly, as if to make sure they really were all here, reunited. Inoue was crying again, but this time in joy. Rukia, too, cried, and even the boys teared up a bit. They all spoke happy nonsense, just because they finally could. It didn't mean anything, but it didn't need to. What counted was that they could share this nonsense between all six present.

Ichigo was telling her and Inoue just how much of an excitement the news of their return caused in Soul Society already, even though they weren't even there yet, when from the corner of her eye Rukia saw movement. Her brother and Captain Ukitake just arrived.

"Nii-sama… Captain…" she said. This was it – the last piece that made her fully realise she was home. Joy spread through her soul, and happy tears began welling in her eyes anew. She quickly wiped them with the fabric of her gloves. Getting up, she limped up to them, and bowed deeply. "I have returned. I am sorry for any trouble—"

Byakuya-nii-sama's hand on her shoulder stopped her. She looked up at him. In his eyes she saw gladness that she had safely returned. Her captain, too, was shaking his head with a wide smile, telling her that she didn't need to be so formal.

So smiling, she simply said, "I'm back."

"Welcome back, Rukia," her brother said, squeezing her shoulder gently. Coming from him it was equal to a hug.

"Good to have you back, Kuchiki," Captain Ukitake added.

"Thank you, Nii-sama, Captain." Fresh tears began falling down her cheeks. She was happy to be home and among people she cared about, way happier than she would have expected herself to be. Yet, in the core of her soul, she felt there was a massive hole – her happiness wasn't complete without Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra had every intention of returning to his chambers after the meeting, but then why was he standing in front of Rukia's room? Cursing himself for this weakness, he opened the door and entered. He didn't know what he had expected, but the room looked exactly the way he had left it a few hours ago in the late afternoon. It just severely lacked warmth, his reason for coming here multiple times a day. Rukia was nowhere, and the void in his soul painfully opened wider.

The seat by the desk was glaringly empty; windows without her graceful silhouette in any of them mocked him with now setting sun, bringing back the memory of yesterday's evening – a connection he knew that could never be replicated and which was lost forever. The unmade bed reminded him of what he had, but what was now gone. He was sure her scent still lingered in the bed sheets, perhaps even the warmth of her body, but he adamantly forbade himself from confirming it.

Instead he glared at the pictures of her friends, and swearing he would kill them all for taking Rukia away from him, he destroyed their representations with Bala.

Through the half-open door he saw that the bathroom was dark, but then again why would it be lit if she was gone? He entered anyway, and turning on the light, he saw his pitiful reflection in the mirror. He scoffed at himself. How the hell could anyone affect him this much? A Shinigami, too?

She had shown him feelings. Not only that – she had kindled in him feelings he had doubted even existed, let alone experienced them himself. Just to leave him and take it all away. She had taken whatever a meagre heart he had scraped together for her from his empty soul. And now, what was left wasn't even emptiness, but something far worse.

Ulquiorra wished he had never met her, never saved her life. He wanted to hate her, to despise her, yet all he could find in himself was that aching void.

Angered, he sent another Bala, this time at the tall mirror, destroying it along with the sink, shelf and cabinet that were on its sides. It didn't make him feel better.

He returned to the room, put Murciélago beside his armchair and sat in it like on any other day. Staring at the empty room, he didn't know why he did all this, nor what he was seeking here, if he was seeking anything at all, except for self-torture. After all he was well aware the last thing he would find here was comfort.

"Oh? Didn't expect to find ya 'ere," a cheerful voice came from behind.

Ulquiorra sharply turned his head and glowered at Ichimaru. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice carrying dangerous undertones. He didn't care he was addressing his superior. In fact, he wouldn't mind a confrontation, as his emptiness was roaring to tear someone apart with his own hands.

The Fox didn't seem to care, and replied, "Came to investigate. It's a wonder how Rukia-chan and Orihime-chan managed to escape. Any clues?"

"No."

"Shame." A wide smile contrasted his reply.

Ulquiorra looked at him suspiciously, and spoke menacingly, "You know."

Ichimaru chuckled, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. "Why'd I know anythin'? If I knew I wouldn't be investigatin', would I now?"

He didn't believe him, but kept silent. With his eyes trained on the man, he followed his every movement, like a predator his prey. The Fox was up to something, he was sure of it.

Ichimaru ambled around the room for purposes known only to him. He even rummaged through the debris in the bathroom, muttering, "Sheesh, that was really unnecessary, ya know?" or, "If I cut meself on them glass, it's yer fault…"

His buoyancy was slowly but steadily pushing Ulquiorra to the verge of his patience.

Oblivious to the growing bloodlust of the 4th Espada, Ichimaru came out of the bathroom, as carefree as always. He appeared to be holding something, but when he noticed Ulquiorra's gaze, he spread his hands open. There was nothing in his palms, and a self-satisfied smile distorted his face even more.

This was the final straw.

Ulquiorra in instant grabbed Ichimaru by his collar and pushed him into the wall. He was about to thrust his hand through his chest, when a sudden hit of threatening air stopped him mid-way. The impression lasted less than a second, but for the first time he realised just how dangerous this man was.

"Now, now, Ulquiorra, ain't ya a lil' bit testy tonight, eh?" the Fox purred slyly.

Ulquiorra felt the tip of a blade prickle him under his chin, ready to stab him through his skull. He was so blinded by his own emotions that he hadn't even noticed when Ichimaru had drawn his wakizashi. It sobered him up instantly. He let go of his superior, and when he withdrew his zanpakutō back into the layers of his robe, he stepped back and returned to his armchair, no longer craving this confrontation. Logically it would be pointless anyway. Even though he was confident he could win, it wouldn't be easy, and victory would mean getting out of Aizen-sama's good graces and thus death.

"Where was I…" Ichimaru singsonged, and resumed his investigation, as if nothing had just happened. Something around the desk caught his attention. With a rustle he picked up a piece of paper – one of Rukia's drawings, most likely. Chuckling to himself he folded it into a plane and threw it at Ulquiorra. "Rukia-chan's an honest lass, an' all in all quite simple, but ya should know that by now."

The paper plane landed perfectly in Ulquiorra's lap. He stared at it for a moment, and then, without unfolding it, he crumbled it in his hand and turned it into dust with a short blast of his reiatsu.

Ichimaru cocked his head to the side. "Ya sure? 'Twas quite a touchin' wee picture."

"It doesn't matter anymore. She was simply a distraction, nothing more," he replied coldly, in all his might trying to convince himself of it.

"Hope ya ain't gonna regret those words." For a second there was something malicious in Ichimaru's grin, even though nothing seemed to have changed in his face. Then he held up the stack of papers with Rukia's drawings and handwriting. "Ya won't mind if I keep this then, do ya?"

"No."

"Cheers," he said and hid everything in his spacious sleeves. Apparently satisfied with his investigation, he happily left with a, "Jolly evenin' t'ya!"

Ulquiorra brooded for a while after Ichimaru's departure. His words describing Rukia's drawing – true or not – made him decide to indulge some more in this self-torture. So he took out his right eye and crushed it, activating Solita Vista. Through his memory he returned to today and the blissful moments on the sands under the Las Noches' dome.

Seeing Rukia's face, bright and beaming at him, hearing her voice – telling him that she was happy, and feeling her fingers lovingly caress his face, alleviated his pain. He didn't know if it was him in the memory or him in the armchair watching, but he felt lighter, and fulfilled. The darkness in his soul was no more, dispersed by her pure light.

It lasted merely a moment, though, until he remembered she was gone and then it was agony all over again.

Could she have been faking it? Had the sparks in her eyes been feigned? Had her caresses been merely a distraction and her words a lie? After all, just a little while later something changed in her and she started acting differently.

Ulquiorra continued to examine his memory.

After a moment of black, suffocating emptiness that was his nap, he once again saw Rukia. The difference didn't confuse him as much this time, allowing him to study her face more carefully. Only now did he notice her eyes were moist, and there were strong emotions in them. Sadness, fear, affection – one more intense from another. The way she kissed him, and held him seemed to convey the same.

… If, of course, everything had been genuine. Was it really their relationship that she both feared and wanted? Or did she fear he would notice her homesickness and see her through, thwarting her plan? Was she affectionate on purpose to put him off guard, to gain his trust? Was she this sly and calculating to actually try to seduce her enemy to achieve her goals? He had seen her act before with more or less convincing finesse, but usually he had been able to see through her performance. Unless it had been her strategy all along…

She had never asked him for any crucial information, though, but perhaps she knew well he would never tell her anything? However he had taken her to Orihime Inoue twice and he had returned her zanpakutō to her – two things she had been most vocal about that she wanted; and he had trusted her enough to give them to her.

Ulquiorra took his left eye out and crushed it, switching to another memory. Perhaps in her last moments in Hueco Mundo she had shown a glimpse of her true colours.

He saw Rukia panting from the fight, which she had won beautifully. He was proud of her, and was sure he could excuse her and keep her out of any trouble with Aizen-sama.

When she looked at him, a ghost of a smile appeared on her face, but it soon turned into a frown of guilt and she started apologising. What exactly for? For helping her friend who had apparently been attacked? Or for deceiving him and disappearing on him a moment later?

She never got the chance to explain herself, however, because she was cut off by Orihime Inoue shouting her name and embracing her. Rukia's eyes widened at this and then stared down, making it impossible for him to read her. Her lips moved with a few words, but he was unable to decipher them, too. Her body was tense.

When she finally looked back at him, her face displayed regret. A second later she was gone.

Even though he anticipated it, and was already suffering because of it, the pain of seeing her vanish yet again was harrowing. His empty soul got hollowed out anew, and the aching void expanded.

Ulquiorra inhaled sharply, realising he forgot to breathe. Shaking his head, he terminated Solita Vista and his eyes regenerated in an instant. Clenching and unclenching his hands, he began to sort everything out in his head. Otherwise he feared he would go insane. Reason and logic never disappointed him, and so he turned to them.

He still understood almost nothing. All he knew were the facts – Rukia was gone. Why, though – that he might never learn.

He accepted that. He didn't need to know. Whatever her reason was, she still had chosen something or someone over him, thus giving the lie to their relationship. It all became meaningless.

Those were the harsh facts: Rukia, who – despite telling him she would never give him up – jilted him without a word, was a liar and a traitor. All the feelings that she left him with were a burden, and proved to blind his judgement. He didn't need them; without her they became hollow and unsolicited. They brought him nothing but pain, and he desperately didn't know how to get to grips with it.

It was time to put an end to them. There was no other viable and reasonable option.

Denying himself a room for hesitation, Ulquiorra fed the unwanted feelings to his emptiness. He felt it grow, but in return that aching void was gone.

Breathing in and out a few times, he savoured the freedom. He felt emptier than ever, but that, at least, he knew how to deal with. Revisiting her room and the moments they had shared together, and sorting his thoughts and emotions out ended up being as painful as it was cathartic.

He only regretted that he couldn't do the same with his memories. That would require him crushing his own brain, after all.

Having fulfilled his last promise to Rukia, Ulquiorra no longer owed her anything. So he got up and left, though at the threshold he turned around and destroyed the room with Cero. Now there was nothing in Hueco Mundo that could remind him of her.

"Sōkatsui! Shakkahō! SŌKATSUI!" Rukia was yelling, repeatedly firing Spells at what had used to be a target on the 13th Division's training grounds. As she was now, there was no way she could fight and win against Espadas and Aizen, and she had even a lesser chance to protect Ulquiorra. She had no idea how she could achieve that, but she knew she had to get stronger, so she wouldn't get in his way, while at the same time she wouldn't get in Soul Society's way.

It was late evening and the sun would set soon. Her Division members had already finished their compulsory training for the day and were now either at the mess hall having supper, or at the barracks resting after the long day.

She didn't feel hunger nor could she allow herself to rest, so she kept firing various Spells. Since her target was obliterated, she was aiming at a rock formation in the distance. Until it turned into dust, she wouldn't stop. Her Hadō Spells needed to be powerful enough to go through the thick Hierro of an Espada, and her Bakudō Spells strong enough to efficiently restrain them or block their attacks.

Going on about this for hours now, Rukia was exhausted, but she kept pushing herself to and over her limits. Otherwise she knew she would never improve.

Glaring at the rocks, she recited the incantation for Sōren Sōkatsui and fired it. A huge burst of energy drained her reiatsu and left her out of breath, and for a moment she saw small black dots dancing in front of her eyes. Panting heavily, she got down to her knees before she collapsed. When the dust settled, with disappointment she saw that – though crumbled – the rocks were still there, when she wanted to completely evaporate them. She still had a long way to go.

Rukia took a few more deep breaths, got up, and again started to recite the incantation for Sōren Sōkatsui.

"Don't overdo it, Rukia!" she heard someone shout in a familiar voice.

Turning around, she saw Renji and the rest of her friends, all smiling at her.

"I'm not!" she shouted back and stuck out her tongue. Walking up to them, she could feel weariness weighting on her body, but she didn't let it show.

"What are you up to?" Ichigo asked, a hint of accusation in his voice. "We haven't seen you all day."

"Nothing much, just training Kidō," she replied. Deep down, though, she knew there was a reason behind her solitary training. Putting on a smile, she asked, "What about you? What were you doing all day?"

Renji smirked. "Much the same, I guess. That's basically all we do these days."

"Can I join you tomorrow?"

・

They looked weirdly at Rukia, and Renji lightly whacked her on the head. "Do you really have to ask, idiot?"

Since her return two days ago she was a bit out of it. She seemed happy to be back, he saw that in her eyes, but there was also a shadow in them, different from the one he knew. When she thought no-one was looking her way, her smile faltered and she became sombre and brooding. Today, too, without a word to them, she went on with her day, training alone, as if she wanted to distance herself from them.

According to the report she had given in front of all captains and lieutenants and to the medical examination Captain Unohana had put her through (though after Inoue had healed her), she hadn't suffered much of a physical nor mental damage during her captivity. Yet, it was as if Aizen and his lackeys had taken something from her, and this Rukia wasn't exactly the same Rukia before her ordeal. What was missing, though, he didn't know.

She smiled at them sheepishly. "Sorry, it's just that… it feels so odd to be back home, I still can't believe we've managed to escape Hueco Mundo… I guess I just haven't fully taken that in."

"No worries," Ichigo said in a somewhat gentle tone. "As a matter of fact we were just about to resume our training after supper, wanna join?"

She shook her head. "Tomorrow. I'll finish Kidō today and soon I have to go home. My brother wants me to spend the night at the mansion."

"Yeah, you do that, Rukia," Renji advised. Just remembering Captain's crestfallen face when he had thought she was dead, and then his face when he had learnt she was alive, and how adamantly he had been refusing Captain-Commander Yamamoto's order to stay put made him feel for his superior. It was the most human and vulnerable he had ever seen him. He deserved the peace of mind of finally having his younger sister back home for the night.

"So tomorrow what time do you start and where?" Rukia asked.

"Seven a.m. sharp, Urahara's cave under Sōkyoku Hill," Ichigo replied, pointing with his thumb in the general direction of the hill.

"I'll be there," she promised.

"You better be," Renji told her. "If not, I'm gonna drag your short arse there myself."

She put her hands on her hips, stuck out her chin, and asked challengingly, "Yeah? I want to see you try, pineapple head!"

Before she could react, he caught her in a head lock and started ruffling her hair. "I bet you do, pipsqueak!"

She was trying to wriggle away from his hold, but more importantly she was laughing and with her everyone else, and it reminded him of older, more carefree times. He wished it could always be like this. They were at war now, with their future uncertain, but he couldn't help trusting that they would all survive and once the war was over, they would rebuild all, and everything would be back to the way it had used to be.

Once he was satisfied with teasing her, he let her go. "See you tomorrow then, Rukia."

"Seven in the morning," Ichigo reminded.

"Yeah." She grinned, while brushing her dishevelled hair with her hands.

・

Orihime happily watched her friends. The picture wasn't perfect, her intuition told her that, but it was as perfect as it could get under those circumstances. But with time, perhaps everything would come together and they all would be truly happy once again. She prayed for this with all her heart, especially for Kuchiki-san who seemed heartbroken behind her smile.

"Let's go then, you lot," Kurosaki-kun declared and looked around at the faces of his friends if they were ready for another round of heavy workout. All boys nodded.

Orihime quickly said, "I'd like to stay with Kuchiki-san for a little while, if it's all right…"

Kuchiki-san smiled. "Sure."

"Okay, see you later, Inoue. And you tomorrow, Rukia," Kurosaki-kun said, and with parting waves of hands, they left towards the hidden entrance to the secret training ground.

Once they were alone Kuchiki-san asked, "How are you feeling, Inoue? Soul Society might not be your home, but you're closer to yours now. Just a little bit longer and I'm sure you'll finally be able to return to Human World."

"I'm fine," Orihime replied. She missed her home and friends back there, but if they didn't defeat Aizen-san first, she would have nothing to return to. "I'm just happy we're all back together. That's what matters the most."

"Yeah, you're right."

Gazing at the setting sun, she started, "Something's troubling you, Kuchiki-san…"

Her friend cocked her head to the side, a frown on her face. "Not really. I'm just still confused is all. Don't worry about it, Inoue."

Orihime was nervous. This was perhaps a difficult subject for Kuchiki-san, but she suspected he was behind the sadness that was perturbing her, especially since she might think she had no-one with whom she could have a heart-to-heart talk about her feelings for him. So wanting to show her that she wasn't alone, she asked quietly, "It's Ulquiorra-san, isn't it?"

Kuchiki-san stared off into the distance, her face betraying nothing. Clearly she wasn't one to unburden her deepest thoughts to others, preferring to bottle things up. Orihime was similar, so all the more she understood how important it was to have someone to talk to.

When it didn't look like she was going to reply, the Human girl tried again, "Do you… miss him?"

"Miss him?" she echoed after a pause. "No, don't be silly."

"I think he misses you."

Kuchiki-san exhaled deeply. "And I think he hates me now." Her voice was calm and clear, yet it resounded with hints of suppressed emotions.

Orihime vigorously shook her head. She had seen how Ulquiorra-san cared about her, despite how guarded he was. "No, he couldn't, not you."

"I'm scared, Inoue. I don't want him to hate me." When her friend finally looked at her, there was anguish in her face – her indifferent mask was beginning to crumble.

"Is that what's been troubling you, Kuchiki-san?"

"Yes, but not only that. I…" she trailed off, clearly unsure whether she could nor should continue.

Orihime gently grasped her hands into her own, and smiled encouragingly. "I'm here for you, Kuchiki-san. And I'll always be. I have your back, no matter what." She knew she was repeating the same words Kuchiki-san had told her two days ago, but it was the truth.

Her friend stared at their hands for a moment, evidently in two minds about whether or not to get her problems off her chest. Eventually she admitted, "I'm torn, Inoue. I'm afraid I will hesitate because of him. That's why I feel like I can't look anyone in the face. I feel like a traitor. I… I shouldn't have come back."

She finally looked up at Orihime. Her eyes shone with tears that were yet to fall. Then, reluctantly, she added in a whisper, "If the security around Soul Society wasn't this tight, I fear I would have gone to him."

The Human girl listened closely, word after word her compassion for Kuchiki-san and her self-reproach becoming stronger. It was her fault that she was sad. She had caused this by separating her from Ulquiorra-san. It seemed her wish to do one thing right had blinded her to the wishes of her friend.

Guilty tears began flowing down her cheeks. "I'm really sorry, Kuchiki-san. For dragging you back with me. I didn't know… didn't notice that you wanted to stay with him."

"No, no, no, don't be sorry, Inoue. You did nothing wrong… Nothing, believe me," Kuchiki-san reassured her, as kind and lovable as always.

"I just didn't want to leave you with Aizen-san. I didn't even stop to consider what you might want. I'm so sorry." She hated herself for being this selfish. Even more so, because she was the one to start crying, when she should be comforting Kuchiki-san.

"Oh, Inoue, it's all right. Don't worry about it. It's better that I'm back home, Soul Society is where I belong, but still…"

Sobbing, Orihime hugged her friend tightly and finished the sentence for her, "You miss him… And you wonder what could be…"

"I just can't help it," she admitted. "I keep wondering if perhaps I would have been able to save him from his emptiness, so he could be happy. And free. No longer bound to his Hollow nature and Aizen. I don't even know if that would be possible, but I just keep wondering and wondering." Kuchiki-san's voice was becoming more and more choked up, and soon she too was crying. "I don't want him to die. But I know Ichigo will fight him. And if not him, then Renji will. Or my brother."

Orihime cried with and for her. She couldn't imagine just how much her friend was hurting, being torn between her world and the man she loved; knowing that any day now she could lose one forever.

When their crying subsided, she suggested, trying to find a way out of the impending tragedy, "What if you told Kurosaki-kun about your feelings for Ulquiorra-san? Maybe then we could work something out?"

Kuchiki-san shook her head. "No. He won't listen. He won't understand. It's become too personal for him. And Ulquiorra, too, told me once, that he'll fight them. That their clash is inevitable. And now I fear he might want to just straight out murder everyone. Someone's going to die, and I don't want any of them to die. I want to protect them all, but I'm just too weak."

After a moment, she continued, though there was resignation in her voice. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what is right in this situation. I betrayed Ulquiorra. I betrayed Soul Society, my brother and my friends. I don't think I can face anyone anymore."

Orihime pulled away, so she could look straight into Kuchiki-san's eyes, and put her hands on her shoulders, squeezing them. She told her firmly, "You betrayed no-one, Kuchiki-san. And I know that when it will come to it, you'll know what to do. And if there's anything I can help you with, just let me know."

"Take that, you bastard!" Grimmjow yelled, and fired a shower of Bala at Ulquiorra, who easily deflected them with his bare hands. Knowing it was a decoy, in the last second he swirled around to parry a kick followed by a punch. They jumped apart, readying themselves for another clash.

He might be stronger than Grimmjow, but with unpredictability and brashness of his opponent, he had to always be on his guard, otherwise he could easily lose the upper hand. A few times already he had had to pick himself up from the ground or out of a pile of rubble after being sent there by a surprise attack. The 6th Espada wasn't to be underestimated.

And not even once had he mentioned the Shinigami's name nor her disappearance, oddly enough, even though Ulquiorra had expected him to jeer. Not that it would affect him in any way, emotionally, at least. Just like she was gone, so were his feelings for her.

His own thoughts, however, were quite treacherous, and at his most vulnerable – when he was falling asleep and waking up, and sometimes when he wasn't engaged in anything – they strayed towards her. Whenever that happened, something he was unable to name writhed inside his chest. To keep this down to minimum, he busied himself with training.

Initially he had wanted to ask the higher-ranked Espadas, but Starrk, Baraggan and Harribel didn't seem too keen on training for their various reasons. Nelliel seemed to pity him, and that he wouldn't bear. So his only available options for a sparring partner were either Grimmjow or Nnoitra, and he was pretty sure he would want to kill the latter within minutes. So, reluctantly, he had asked the former, and Grimmjow actually seemed glad to accept his invitation.

What had started as a one-time thing, became a daily routine for them. While fighting, Grimmjow was as obnoxious as always, taunting him and goading, but before or after he became oddly quiet and distracted. Ulquiorra wasn't really interested in the reason behind his odd behaviour, so he didn't ask, though he had his suspicions.

They didn't really talk during their training, but when they were finished for today, Grimmjow decided to break the unwritten rule, and asked, "Are you aiming to kill them all?"

Assuming he meant the Shinigamis in general, he replied, "Yes."

"Even…" the 6th Espada trailed off, but quickly corrected himself, "Never mind."

Ulquiorra of course knew the name he meant to say. And, frankly, he had no idea what he would do with her. Part of him wanted to kill her. Another one wanted to keep her alive long enough, so she would learn emptiness, while watching her kin get butchered and her home burn. Or he could devour her, so she could experience his emptiness from the inside of his soul.

And there was also a part of him that wanted to hold her close and never let go… He adamantly ignored this fancy.

"Ichigo is mine to kill, though, so don't you fucking steal my prey, you bastard," Grimmjow warned.

"We'll see," Ulquiorra retorted, and with a nod left for his chambers, trying his best not to think about that Shinigami woman.

・

Grimmjow scowled after him. Trust a heartbroken Hollow who shouldn't have had a heart in the first place… Of course he wanted to kill Ichigo, too! Thankfully, Ulquiorra had a whole bunch of people he wanted to kill, so he would just have to be quicker in getting to his one prey.

As much as initially he had wanted to taunt the 4th Espada about the disappearance of his girl, he refrained himself from doing so, either out of pity or because Nel had said to leave him be, he wasn't sure. Or maybe because he just didn't want to get killed. After this incident, Ulquiorra became a little bit unpredictable. It suited Grimmjow, though, as fighting him was now a whole lot of fun. His face was blank again, but his actions were more ruthless and with clear intent to hurt or kill.

As for Nel, she was now giving him the cold shoulder after he had tried to pry into her private affairs. If that was how she thanked him for a friendly concern, fine by him. He knew she wouldn't come back crying to him, but if she did, then she would better not expect him to care.

Yet, from time to time he wondered how she was doing. And every time he saw Nnoitra, he wanted to hurt that creepfuck for that bruise he had given Nel on her cheek.

The news Rukia had brought – the one confirming that the battle would be soon, and more importantly the one revealing that Aizen had merged with Hōgyoku and his power could grow immeasurably – stirred Soul Society. Atmosphere was tense. Streets and squares usually bustling with life were deserted and eerie silence prevailed but for shouts from training grounds and people rushing from one place to another in a hurry. All Divisions were mobilising for war. A strict training schedule and a curfew were imposed. Martial law was in force, even in Rukongai, with civilian patrols seeing to it that it was abode by.

Rukia didn't mind that her days were filled out to the brim with trainings, various tasks and chores. They kept her occupied enough that she barely had the time to think about Ulquiorra. Only in the evenings, when she was alone, readying for bed, did her thoughts embrace him, and longing mixed with dread crept in.

It was also in the evenings that she finally had time to meditate and speak with Sode no Shirayuki, who was still cross with her. It had been over a week since their return, and she still hadn't managed to reconcile with her, though there was some progress – her zanpakutō stopped ignoring her and now was quite vocal in condemning her.

«I still can't believe you're able to face Byakuya-sama! Or sleep under his roof! You have no shame, girl!» were her first words after she materialised.

Sode no Shirayuki was so stubborn to turn a deaf ear to anything Rukia had to say, it was beginning to be not only unreasonable, but also ridiculous. It wasn't the first time they were having this conversation, too. Yet, she couldn't find it in her to hold it against her.

I understand where you're coming from, I do, she responded gently, hoping this wouldn't turn into another screaming contest. If I haven't experienced what I have, I would most likely be as disapproving as you are now. But it happened. I fell in love with Ulquiorra.

«With our enemy! That's what he is and nothing more!» Sode no Shirayuki corrected her. She was stubborn, probably even more stubborn than herself, and was firmly sticking to her beliefs and principles.

Rukia sighed. She didn't seek approval, she knew it would be too much to ask for, but was it so wrong or audacious of her to ask for at least a bit of understanding?

«You're not even sorry!»

I'm not, Rukia admitted. Before her zanpakutō could go on another tirade, she elaborated, I never wanted those feelings. But here they are and I cherish them. They're not wrong, they're not misplaced; they're honest and beautiful. She smiled to hide her sorrow and longing for Ulquiorra, even though her friend could easily see her through, if she wanted. Sode no Shirayuki… You should know my heart best, you're a part of my soul, after all, my closest companion. But you refuse to look into it. Why? Why do you refuse to spare me even an ounce of sympathy?

«I'm not a traitor,» Sode no Shirayuki replied coldly. «I won't let you drag me down with you.»

Rukia ruffled her hair in frustration. I admit there were moments I was ready to give up everything just to be with him, but since my return I was able to revaluate everything with clear head. I won't do anything that would betray Soul Society. I won't bring dishonour to my brother. Trust me.

«Too late. You already did that by lying with him!»

Her words were hurtful, but Rukia brushed them off. She supposed their long separation in Hueco Mundo was partially the reason why they had grown apart. Her zanpakutō hadn't been there by her side to witness the budding relationship between Ulquiorra and her, too. It didn't discourage her from trying to make her understand, though, and she was sure that in result it would bring them close together again.

Determined, she grabbed Sode no Shirayuki's hand and held it firmly to her chest. It's right here, open for you to see everything.

«Stop it!» her companion hissed, trying to wriggle away, but Rukia's grip was iron.

You don't even try to understand me, and my feelings, yet you still judge me!

«Such insolence!» she spat a remark, but it wasn't as biting as her previous ones, but rather desperate.

At her wits' end, Rukia cried out, Is your heart as cold as your ice?!

Sode no Shirayuki stared at her for a moment with unreadable expression, only to bristle. «I wish it was! I wish I didn't feel what you feel! I wish you weren't suddenly a stranger!»

Her outburst was gone as suddenly as it began. Anger and scorn disappeared from her face, replaced by dejection. Shaking her head, she sunk down to sit on her heels. Her unseeing eyes gazed at the floor, while she spoke in a hollow voice, «You were gone for Soul King knows how long, again. In my loneliness I kept reaching out to you, I could sense you, but you were too far away… And then, the next thing I know, I'm drowning in feelings I don't understand. And I just… I just don't know how to handle them.»

Rukia watched as tears started streaming down Sode no Shirayuki's face. She had thought that she understood her point of view, but it looked like she didn't understand everything.

«They're too much… Your yearning for him. Your love… All that hope and dread, and fear. And all I can think of is how you're wasting them on a Hollow. He isn't worth it… And yet…»

And yet? she asked quietly.

«I want to trust you. I want to believe you know what you're doing. You're my Rukia after all… aren't you?»

The Shinigami sat down in front of her, and when her zanpakutō looked at her, she firmly said, Yes, I am.

Sode no Shirayuki smiled slightly through her tears. «That's why all the more I don't want to feel your pain. Every day I wonder how you can carry on… pining for him, while trying to uphold your Shinigami ideals… hurting, because you know you can't have both. Because you will have to choose, and it's tearing you apart. How?»

Despite trying to reject it, her zanpakutō knew her heart well, apparently. Probably even better than she did as there were a few things she herself was reluctant to acknowledge. At length Rukia gently said, I'm really sorry, Sode no Shirayuki. For leaving you alone again, and then dumping all this on you so suddenly. That's why I want to tell you everything that happened when we were separated, so you can understand.

After a pause, she continued, Also, I don't want to choose, I don't even think I'll be able to make that choice. I love Ulquiorra. But I also love Soul Society, my brother and my friends. And you, my dear friend. I want to believe that somehow, by some miracle, I can have both.

«That's naïve of you,» Sode no Shirayuki replied, but there was no spite in her voice, only sympathy. «You'll only end up even more heartbroken.»

Rukia smiled sadly. Perhaps. But there's nothing I can do about it, it would be against my very own soul, you know me. Apprehensive of her zanpakutō's response, she asked, I know we have our disagreements, but will you listen to my story?

Sode no Shirayuki wiped her face with a handkerchief she kept in the folds of her obi. Eventually, she nodded her head in agreement.

Nel sat in her library, reading a book. Or at least it looked like she was reading, whereas in fact her thoughts couldn't be farther away from it. Her mind was lost in a worry for impending battle and uncertainty that came with it.

Aizen-sama could command the attack any time soon, and with every day she was getting more and more restless, dreading that this was the day.

So far it hadn't come.

Nel didn't want this war. She didn't want any of her kin to die. She didn't want anyone to die. It was inevitable, though, she knew. Roused by Aizen-sama's sweet promises of domination, they were all eager to fight the despised Shinigami. She couldn't blame them.

Even though they were ready and everything was set, their master kept waiting. She wasn't exactly sure what for, but out of two most probable possibilities – waiting for a favourable chance or for his growing powers to settle – she supposed the latter. That man had been formidable even the first time he came to Hueco Mundo, but now… he was a monster. No Shinigami and no Hollow could emanate such reiatsu. It was constantly humming throughout Las Noches and there were times she felt as if it was crawling around her.

The restless wait and Aizen-sama's reiatsu didn't affect only her, but all residents of the castle. Even outside the walls numerous Menos Grande started gathering, rocking and shaking as if in a trance.

Tension was palpable.

Just the other day Baraggan's and Harribel's fraccións got into a fight over a trifle. Luckily nobody was killed.

Nnoitra outwardly was calm, calmer than ever, but his reiatsu was becoming darker and madder, and his thirst for carnage couldn't be more apparent. Once set loose by Aizen-sama's command, he would tear into the Shinigamis until none of his opponents was alive or until he was cut down himself.

Ulquiorra was aloof as always, but his gaze was grimmer and determined. Rukia's disappearance reinforced his loyalty to Aizen-sama and made the upcoming battle personal. Nel only pitied that his purpose was misguided – uncharacteristically for him he ignored the circumstances and the bigger picture, focusing on the pain instead.

Only Grimmjow seemed immune to the tension, oddly enough, acting as if they weren't at the brink of bloodshed. Or perhaps the perspective relaxed him, destruction being his element. Nel hadn't spoken to the 6th Espada since she had told him off for being nosy. He too didn't seem eager to even chat with her anymore. There were times she sort of missed his annoying and unruly presence, but she quickly brushed it off. There were far more important things occupying her mind, anyway.

Despite all the worrying she did for the upcoming battle, and despite all the pity and dread she felt for Ulquiorra and Rukia, the thing that gnawed at her heart the most and left her sleepless at nights was Nnoitra.

The urge to look after him, just as she had done for hell knew how long, hadn't changed, even though the difference in strength between them had become insignificant. During the time she had idled away as Nel Tu of Sand Trio, he had grown stronger, perhaps even surpassed her. She could no longer control him. And that added to her worry – which was gradually turning into fear.

What if she wouldn't be able to reach him in the commotion of battle? What if she wouldn't have the strength? What if she would hesitate?

Nel was determined though, and whatever it took, she would save Nnoitra from his despair. It was her responsibility, her duty, and it was her fate. Oftentimes she wondered if this was the reason why she had become a Hollow in the first place. Would saving Nnoitra save her as well? Would the already bittersweet connection she had with him conclude in not only suffering, but also relief?

Still, the finality of what she hoped to achieve terrified her.

"Nelliel-sama." Pesche's voice broke her out of her musings. He was being uncharacteristically solemn.

She put away the book and with dread heavy in her stomach she asked. "What is it?" Has the time come?

"Forgive my boldness, but both Dondochakka and I have noticed that something is bothering you, Nelliel-sama. Since you have not confined in us, I can only assume it is something we cannot help you with."

Nel sighed. "You're right, you can't. Nobody can."

Pesche got down on one knee and put his hand to his heart. "Nelliel-sama… We are here for you not only as your fraccións, but as your friends… As your family. If it is something you have to do alone, we shan't get in your way. But please give us your directions."

Only now did she notice Dondochakka unsurely leaning out from behind the door frame. Worry was written all over his huge face.

"What should we do? How can we be of use to you? How can we support you?"

"Pesche, Dondochakka…" They were her most loyal friends, always by her side, protecting her and keeping her company. They had never failed her. That was why it hurt knowing that she was about to turn her back on them. Only this way they would be safe. Regret sank in the pit of her stomach. "I'm sorry for being this selfish. You won't like it, but… stay out of this war. Flee to the desert and lie low until it's over."

"I do not think—"

"No," she cut him off. "Just flee. Hide somewhere safe."

"We will not leave your side, Nelliel-sama!" Pesche protested, standing up.

"Never!" Dondochakka shouted and clumsily ran up to them.

"That's an order!" she shouted back, frustrated. Seeing their faces turn even more determined, she immediately regretted her outburst. Still, she had made up her mind. She couldn't risk having them on the battlefield. They were too important to her, and they also could get in her way. So she continued gently, "…And a plea. Battlefield is no place for you. I don't want to lose you. Please."

They seemed unhappy, but eventually Pesche said, "Very well, Nelliel-sama. We shall go, but we shall wait for your return. You will find us at Sand Trio's eastern base."

Dondochakka looked between him and her, and all of a sudden started bawling his eyes out. "Nelliel-sama, I already miss you, don't'cha know. Please, don't take too long!"

Nel walked up to them and hugged them tightly. "I'll meet you there… I promise."

Byakuya in the last second blocked Rukia's attack with his zanpakutō and pushed her away with Shō. Before she could regain her balance, he flashed behind her and put Senbonzakura to her neck. She lowered her head in defeat.

He stepped away and commented, "Your Shunpō is quick and you're agile, so make sure to use that to your advantage. Feints combined with Kidō can take you a long way, but be careful and don't stick to one pattern. That was your mistake just now."

"Yes, Nii-sama," Rukia panted out. It was cold, like it usually was in late December, so her breaths became mist.

"Be mindful of your stamina, too. If you run out too quickly, it's over."

"Yes, Nii-sama."

Byakuya wasn't sure what time it was, but the sun had set at least an hour ago. During their training they relied on their instincts, and lanterns he had had the servants set up. "Let's call it a day. If you wake up tomorrow at five, we can have a quick warm-up then, before the day starts."

"Thank you, Nii-sama," she replied with a tired smile. "And good night."

He nodded and watched her retreating figure, before he too followed after her towards the mansion.

Byakuya had never seen Rukia this determined. And this sad. Even though she did a splendid job hiding her emotions, in the evenings, when they both retired to their respective rooms, he could feel it. It came in a cold wave; calm but heart-rending.

Las Noches had changed her. She never mentioned anything that had happened there, but he suspected her experience had been a little bit different from what she had officially reported. He doubted she had lied, but she hadn't told everything. She kept something to herself, guarding it closely, lest someone learned the truth. Was it from shame or fear, he didn't know. He would never inquire about it, though – he trusted and respected her reasons. He just hoped that whatever it was, she knew she could confide in him, should she feel the need to get it off her chest.

Now all Byakuya could do was help Rukia get stronger. He could no longer protect her by shielding her from the danger, even though there were times he wanted to pull the strings and pull her back from the upcoming battle. But he couldn't do it, not only because she would resent him for it. Her determination told him there was something she needed to do, even if it was the last thing she did. He couldn't get in her way.

She was strong and with the progress she was making lately she would become even stronger. Soul Society needed her. Besides, even if she didn't partake in the battle, it didn't mean the battle wouldn't come to her.

So he trained her whenever he had the time. It was his duty as her brother, and it was also the only way he could protect her. Perhaps it would also help clear her sadness away.

"Ulquiorra-sama." A male servant came to his chambers with a message from their master. "Aizen-sama requests all Espadas to gather in the Throne Room."

Ulquiorra nodded and dismissed the man with a wave of his hand. Unhurriedly he took Murciélago and slid it behind the sash on his hips. Then, he made his way towards the meeting place.

This was it. Finally Aizen-sama's vision would take shape, and he would devote everything he had – his strength, his sword, his loyalty – to aid that cause. He had failed his master numerous times, yet never received any punishment. During this battle he would do his everything to atone for all his past mistakes. Nothing would stop him from bringing down Soul Society and with it every Shinigami trash that opposed Aizen-sama. Not even she.

And yet his treacherous mind kept replaying memories of her – her sweet smile, her warm touch, her twinkling eyes, her stubborn face, her proud and gracious silhouette… She was as always beautiful, like a beacon of light in the darkness of his existence. Too perfect to be true, and reality had proved her to be just that – a mere illusion.

Still, every time his mind betrayed him, it awoke a yearning that should have died with his feelings for her. A yearning for another fleeting moment of happiness with her. No matter how many times he would feed it to his emptiness, it would always return – pure and profound, and excruciating. Only his or her death could free him from this unending cycle.

It looked like today would be the day.

Something woke Rukia up in the middle of the night, and the first thought that appeared in her mind was that again she dreamed about Ulquiorra. It was another hopeful and cosy dream, and it filled her with warmth. That feeling was soon gone, though, once she realised the cause behind her waking up at some ungodly hour.

Bells.

They were ringing in alarm throughout whole Soul Society.

She sprang to her feet, just when Byakuya-nii-sama slid open the door to her room. He didn't knock, so it meant it was urgent.

"Get ready, Rukia, it's began. Report to Ukitake at once," he said and disappeared, most likely already on his way to his own Division.

She quickly put on her shihakushō and tabi, tied her sleeves with tasuki ribbon, tied her hair in a low ponytail, and finally strapped Sode no Shirayuki to her waist. With Shunpō she flashed towards her Division, but stopped in her tracks once she reached the gates to the Kuchiki clan's grounds.

In horror she stared as the night sky was hued red all around Seireitei.

Rukongai was in flames.

A/N:

The end is near… So please be patient with me a bit longer :)

Happy Easter!

Stay safe and healthy!

朝霧 -Asagiri-