I don't want this moment

To ever end

Where everything's nothing without you

I wait here forever

Just to taste your smile

Cause its true

I am nothing without you

"With You"-Sum 41

Lily Van der Woodsen had to strain herself to remember a moment more perfect than this one. After a disastrous day, she found herself lying on her back, the top of her head pressed comfortably against the side of Rufus's, watching the disco ball dance overhead and the magnificent piece of art lower from the ceiling. Her head was spinning in delightful circles that matched the bright silver ball, and remarkably they had not yet opened the bottle of wine she had brought with her.

"It's beautiful." she sighed, glancing over at him and pointing toward the rushing waves depicted in the painting above them. He smiled at her briefly before turning back to his art. She did the same, feeling happier than she had in a long time. This was mostly because for the first time in forever, Lily felt safe. Yes, Rufus had a wife, and their situation was complicated. But he, unlike the other men she had been with, had no need for talk, for touching, for incessant kissing and comforting and begging to know what was wrong. He seemed to have guessed from the small things, the way she carried herself, the way she reacted to Bart's name, that something was wrong and she needed this company just as much as he did. The soft sounds of a guitar soothed her even more, how did Rufus always manage to pinpoint exactly what she needed?

"Rufus?" she asked softly.

"Hmm?" he replied, taking his eyes off the art to look into her clear, sparkling blue eyes.

"Thank you." she whispered.

"For what?" he questioned, looking confused.

Lily didn't know what came over her at this moment, but she could feel the lights start to move faster, the guitar play louder, and all of a sudden she was leaning towards Rufus Humphrey and placing her lips over his in a gentle kiss. He reacted quickly, turning over onto his side so that he was facing her and kissing back, his hands reaching up through her blonde hair and pulling her close so that their bodies were touching. He was also the one who pulled back first, breathing heavily.

"Lil . . . are you.." He was interrupted by another gentle kiss.

"Don't talk." she ordered, a grin tugging at the corners of her lips."You'll ruin it."

He shook his head. "You know, for all your talk of how you're so different now, you haven't changed a bit."

"What are you talking about? I'll have you know, I've changed a lot in 20 years."

He thought for a moment. "Hmm...let's rethink that shall we? Tall, blonde, confident but dangerously close to arrogant..."

"Excuse me." Lily interrupted, eyes flashing. "I am NOT arrogant."

"Never said you were."Rufus answered playfully. "Now where was I..oh yeah, you have a thing for old men."

"Bart is not that old." she defended, albeit weakly.

"He has gray hair. And he's balding. Face it, Van der Woodsen, your boy-toy is old." He paused, grinning as she crossed her arms in an immature show of defeat. "Let's see..what else..you like flashy guys. Flashy, old, bald guys."

"That sounds like an oxymoron. Old and bald guys are not flashy." she argued.

"But they have money. And money makes even the oldest and baldest man look flashy."

"Do I even get to insult you, or has this whole night just been some plan of yours to 'out' me?" She feigned shock. "Is this revenge for Trent Resner?"

Rufus laughed out loud at this. "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You'll get your turn when I'm done. Hey look, I found something to add. Impatient!"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"And last, but certainly not least, you look breathtakingly beautiful. Some people may age gracelessly, but you...you're stunning."

Lily tried to brush off the rather intense compliment by scoffing, but in the light of the disco ball Rufus could clearly see her blush. "So you're trying to flatter me before I get my turn, hoping I'll lay off...well you thought wrong, Mr. Scruffy-Haired, Top Ten forgotten bands of the 90's..."

"Number nine!" he shouted, pumping his arms in victory.

Lily sighed. "You and your fake art gallery, cheating wife, washed-up band...you could be a could be a country song! All you need is a tractor and you would turn me on."

Rufus cringed. "I hate that song."

She laughed, the first genuine laugh since she had reentered his life.

"I know." she said lightly, shrugging her shoulders. "Why do you think I said it? This is an insult war you know."

A comfortable silence prevailed for a moment. "Want some wine?" Lily asked, winking at him.

"I don't know..the last time we drank together you ended up telling me all of your secrets. Do you really want more fuel for the insult war?" he teased.

She stood, making her way over to where the bottle of wine was laying innocently on the floor. "Well, you know the old saying. Drunk words are sober thoughts." She popped the cork. "I'm willing to take a risk." Lily poured them each a glass before sitting down in front of Rufus so that she was laying against his stomach. She tried to ignore the tingle of electricity that ran down her spine as his finger brushed her neck on its way to the cup.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened with Bart, or not?" he asked softly.

She bit her lip. "Truthfully, I've been trying not to think about it." she inhaled deeply. "Its as you'd expect, really. He's cheating with 25 year old models, or former models, any younger girl he can get his hands on."

"But I don't get it, I thought you guys decided to be committed."

"We did." she said, almost bitterly. "And I thought we were, until I ran into his son, who told me he had been escorting a girl around all day."

"Was it the only one?"

"Who knows. He's been trying to call all night, probably found out I know and has a cover story at the ready."

"Have you talked to him?"

"No. If he can't even be committed to me for a week, I don't even want to think about what could happen down the road."

Rufus nodded. "You can't let these men use you like that just because they're rich and powerful. You need a man who can appreciate you, and only you. Lily...you're.."

She cut him off, kissing him forcefully on the lips.

"I know." she whispered. "Beautiful."

"And the arrogance never ceases to amaze me." he quipped. "I could have been calling you a whore."

Lily shook her head. "You wouldn't. Besides, if I were a whore you wouldn't be able to afford me: I've raised my asking price."

He chuckled sharply and she smiled, pleased at the way his chest moved beneath her hands. "You were always raising it years ago. And if I remember correctly, I was always able to match it." He smirked playfully.

She returned the smirk, feeling slightly awkward. Lily moved to kiss him again, her lips hovering dangerously close to his, but some instinct inside her made her pull back Memories flashed through her brain like wildfire of years and years past, memories she had forced herself to forget. She willed herself to return to normal, to the present, and found Rufus watching her, concerned.

"Are you all right?" he queried, touching her face. "Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head again. "No, you're fine, its just...getting late. Serena should be getting home soon, and I still worry about Erik being home this late by himself."

"How is he doing?"

Lily shrugged. "He's improving." She paused. "I really do have to go."

Rufus seemed slightly disappointed, but said nothing except "I'll walk you out."He reached out a hand to help her up, but she pulled away, gathering her things and heading to the door of the gallery. He followed her silently, watching as she expertly hailed a cab. He opened the bright yellow door and she smiled at him, but it was remarkably colder than those they had exchanged inside.

"Thanks for letting me crash your party."Lily said.

Unable to think of a sarcastic response, Rufus simply replied "No problem."

An awkward silence overcame them. After this initial hesitation, Lily took the initiative and leaned forward, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. Rufus reciprocated it, deepening the kiss for an excuse to have her entire body closer to him.

"See you around." she said finally, sliding into the cab.

He nodded. "See you around." he repeated, and closed the door.

As the cab began to pull away, Rufus could not resist a grin and triumphant victory dance, which consisted of spinning in circles, quite literally, and bobbing his head to the music only audible in his own head.

"Rufus Humphrey, you've still got it." he muttered, his grin becoming a smirk. He did not notice the cab stop until he recognized Lily's all-too-familiar figure shaking her head at him in disbelief.

"What the hell are you doing?" she shouted, looking dangerously close to laughter.

"What does it look like?" he yelled back, resuming his dance from before. "I'm dancing in the street."

He could feel Lily's laughter even though the noisy New York streets made hearing impossible. She did a small twirl herself before, doubled over with laughter, she got back into the cab and sped away.