Author's Notes:

Thanks to Megan and Red and Gold for betaing this and sorting through my nonexistent French accent!

Chapter 12: The First of Many

"Hagrid–he's dead… Hagrid's dead."

There was complete silence in the room as Draco's grey eyes flew to where Ginny had jumped up. He–if truth be told–didn't very much care if Hagrid had died, but if Ginny cared, he didn't want her to be hurt.

"But… how?" Mrs. Weasley questioned softly as she watched Ron hug the now-crying Hermione.

Ron looked uncharacteristically detached as he looked over Hermione's head to ask Harry, "Do you think she would mind telling the story?"

Harry shrugged, still unable to speak.

"C'est très difficile, but, oui, I will tell you what 'appened to 'Agrid," came a deep voice from the doorway,

By this time Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Fred and George had joined the unhappy group and they too looked toward the unhappy Madame Maxime ducking into the house.

"Zis whole tragedy is my fault!" she proclaimed, her eyes brightening with tears.

"I am sure zis cannot possibly be your fault, Madame Maxime," Fleur said, coming to sit next to her former Headmistress.

"Please, will you tell us the story?" Mr. Weasley asked kindly.

She nodded sadly. "Vairy well, zen. You remembair 'ow 'Agrid and I tried to get ze giants to turn away from You-Know-Who?" She looked as everyone except Draco nodded. "We failed to convince zem, even though we did all zat Dumbly-dorr asked. Ze giants are now even more with You-Know-Who zan zey were before. Some of ze Death Eaters came for us, so we left quickly." Her eyes still shone from unshed tears but her voice never cracked.

"Did they get Hagrid?" Bill asked in horror.

"Non… I told you zat it was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault–" Harry began.

"Have you heard this story before?" Draco interrupted, now standing in the corner.

"Yes, I have–"

"Keep going, please, Madame Maxime," Molly said, her voice warning everyone to stay quiet. For once she wasn't bustling around the kitchen, preparing meals with just a few flicks of her wand. For once something was far more important.

"We returned to 'Ogwarts, safe. Only a few certain people can get onto ze grounds anymore, and we knew the Death Eaters would not be able to get into zere. And… and… zen 'Agrid told me he loved me." She stopped talking and looked around hopelessly.

"So?" Draco asked without thinking. Bill, Charlie, Fleur, the trio, and Mrs. Weasley glared at him. He glared back steadily; it wasn't his fault that she was acting as though this simple statement were the end of the world.

"Well, I… I 'ad to tell 'im. You understand, oui? I couldn't encourage 'im when I didn't feel ze same…"

"So you rejected him," Ginny finished sadly, fully knowing how Madame Maxime felt.

"I 'ad to tell 'im se truth. I adored 'Agrid, but I could never 'ave loved him!" Her voice was pleading as though trying to make them understand why she had done such a horrible thing.

"So you told him," Fleur prompted, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"I told him, and 'e said 'e was going to take a walk." Her voice began to break. "I didn't think 'e would want me to say goodbye, so I decided to leave. I walked out of ze castle and saw him dead–at least, 'e looked dead... zair was blood everywhere... And zair was zis woman with long black 'air just about to Apparate–"

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Harry snarled.

Madame Maxime nodded, her eyes bright. "I called someone–one of the Order–Remus Lupin, per'aps?–and he came and took Hagrid away. It was all my fault. I zink 'e must 'ave chased after zem, but he was no match for zis Bellatrix…"

"It's not your fault!" Ginny in an attempt to comfort the now-crying Maxime. "It wasn't your fault you weren't in love with him."

"Yeah, she's right, Madame Maxime. Don't cry." After Harry's statement, Ginny looked directly into his eyes. He looked away quickly.

"Non, non! It is my fault. If I 'adn't rejected him–"

"You had to reject him. It wouldn't have been right to lead him on if you weren't in love with him," Ginny stated firmly, never taking her eyes off Harry. "It would have hurt him even more."

"Wait," Charlie said suddenly, "why did Hagrid go off of the grounds when he knew there would be Death Eaters?"

"Because he's a Gryffindor," Draco explained, unable to stop himself. "He was brave, rejected, and not thinking straight… Bloody Gryffindors," Draco added under his breath so that no one could hear.

Draco felt nine pairs of eyes glare at him. Ron opened his mouth angrily, but Ginny planted herself firmly beside her boyfriend, warning everyone just by the set of her face that they weren't to say anything to him. "Don't provoke them," Ginny hissed in his ear after everyone had turned away.

"You know it's true," murmured Draco, unashamed.

Ginny's lips twitched, threatening to break into a smile, but she just whispered, "Be nice."

Madame Maxime had just said something that caused Hermione to burst into tears again. Throwing Draco a warning look, Ginny went to be with her family again.

OooOooOooO

"Ginny, can I talk to you?"

Ginny looked up from her conversation with Draco, startled by Harry's abrupt question.

"Er–sure, Harry."

Ginny was fully aware that Draco's eyes were following her until she and Harry were outside.

"What is it, Harry?"

"You didn't seem too broken up about Hagrid," Harry said harshly.

Ginny knew he hadn't meant to say that, so she just stared at him.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I just always think that Draco's changed you opinion of everything… including Hagrid."

"Well, believe it or not Harry, I can have my own opinions without any help from my boyfriend," she snarled, and then waited.

"Sorry," he snapped, not sounding at all sincere. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm still not used to you and Draco being… you and Draco."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "That's because you ran away from it the instant you found out. But that was my fault, Harry, and I admit it. I shouldn't have told you like that."

"No, you shouldn't have. But… when you were talking to Madame Maxime, were you really trying to tell me something?"

He's so damn oblivious, Ginny thought. Aloud, she said, "Yes, sort of. But you agreed."

"Yeah, I did… But, seriously Ginny, you really did seem like you didn't really care that Hagrid was dead."

"Harry, you know I liked Hagrid! I'm really sad he's gone. But–I don't know–I guess I just prepared myself too well for one of us to die. The war is getting worse and Hagrid's death will be the first of many. It's terrible, but true. You know that better than I do. I'm just on the sideline, but you're the head."

"But I can't be detached like you are... You're so like Draco about everything." He looked disgusted as Ginny smiled slightly at what she took as a compliment.

"You've never been able to control your emotions. You're about as far away from Slytherin as anyone could possibly be."

"Thanks."

"Assuming that was a compliment," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"To me it was."

"Well, I guess that's all that matters, right?"

"Ginny–"

"I'm not going to fight with you, Harry."

"I didn't know we were," he answered coolly. He paused and then said, "I know you were talking to me in there."

"I already admitted to that," Ginny said impatiently.

"You want me to tell you that it wasn't your fault, don't you?"

"I don't want you to say anything you don't feel."

"Well, that's good. Because I don't feel that way. It wasn't as though it was my fault–"

Oh gods, Ginny thought. Why is it that he can never understand? "I wasn't trying to tell you that it was your fault, Harry. I was trying to make you realise that it wasn't anyone's fault. It just happened."

"I still think–"

"You'll still blame him. I know."

She turned her back on him and walked inside, unwilling to start an argument with Harry.

Draco stared at her intently the moment she stepped inside. She looked back, and saw in his expression that he wanted to talk.

She stared at her family crowded around. Rolling her eyes, she took Draco's hand and pulled him up to her room.

"You're not mad, are you?" Ginny asked as they got into her room. She impatiently turned on the lights with her wand.

"No," he answered, smiling slightly. Ginny knew he was sincere. "What did he talk about?"

"Whether or not I was really talking about him during the conversation with Madame Maxime."

Draco chuckled. "He always was oblivious, wasn't he? It was the most obvious thing in the world."

They sat down on her bed. "So you're not mad?"

"Slightly jealous, but that's all."

"Slightly?" she laughed.

"Well, I was as jealous as hell when he pulled you out there, but no. It's just that you two have so much past, I guess."

Ginny sighed. "I know, Draco. But maybe you should have been nice a few years ago. Then we wouldn't be having this problem."

"Or maybe you shouldn't have been such a high-and-mighty Gryffindor," Draco suggested, his voice threatening to break into laughter.

"So it's my fault?" Ginny asked with mock indignation.

"Isn't everything?"

"Ah, I see. You're right."

"Including the whole me becoming a Death Eater thing. That was because you didn't return my love."

"As long as we know the cause," Ginny giggled.

All of a sudden, they both laughed.

Mere seconds later, the door burst open.

"Just to let you know, all the happiness from in here is radiating downstairs."

"Where–in case you haven't heard–the majority of the household is in mourning."

Ginny looked at her twin brothers, horrified. "You're right, I'm sorry."

They smiled slightly and left without another word.

"I should go down there. To be with my family."

Draco nodded. "Er, should I come?" he asked reluctantly.

"You don't think you'd be welcome?"

"I'm going to guess that I wouldn't be."

"Okay, then. You can stay here. Just don't read my diary."

"You have a diary?" he asked curiously.

Ginny grinned and kissed him quickly. "Bye!"

OooOooOooO

"I 'eard you broke up with 'Arry," Madame Maxime commented sadly as she and Ginny realised they were the last two awake.

"Yes, I did."

"Is zat why you told me that it was okay to break it off wiz 'Agrid? Because you just wanted 'Arry to hear?"

"No," Ginny said softly, "I told you that because it was true. I didn't want to break up with Harry either."

"But you had to?"

Ginny nodded. "It wasn't even about Draco then, Madame Maxime. It took me months to realise how I felt about Draco… My parents–"

"Are worried because you are becoming involved wiz a Death Eater?" she asked, trying to understand. She was fond of Ginny, and was very interested in hearing about someone else's love problems to forget her own.

"Former Death Eater," Ginny corrected, smiling slightly. "Yes, I guess that's the reason. But it's more complicated. They're afraid of me becoming involved with someone with a past," she tried to explain. "Even if he's changed, he'll always have that part of him. They want me to be with Harry–or at least someone like Harry. Even though Harry has a past too, it's the right kind. He's noble and cares about the whole world. Draco's cunning and only cares about himself… and me."

"I am not sure I understand vairy much."

Ginny furrowed her brow. "Let me put it this way… if Harry had to choose to kill me to save the rest of the world, he would. Reluctantly, and he would hate himself for it. But he would do it, because all of those nameless, faceless people out there mean something to him. But if Draco were in the same situation, he would kill the whole world just for me. Draco wants something out of life, but I think he wants me most of all. He wouldn't feel guilty about killing those people, either. Maybe he would, but not like Harry. He would think it was worth it to have me forever." Ginny bit her lip, wondering if what she was saying were true. "Maybe," she murmured, "my example is a bit extreme, but I think that's how it is." She stopped talking, but her thoughts continued: That's why Harry won't let me come with him. Because he's so worried that he might have to choose. But Draco understands me better and would let me go fight… but he would never let me go alone–

"And you like zat?" Madame Maxime asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"Like having someone who cares about me so much? Of course I do," Ginny answered easily, smiling.

"But doesn't 'Arry care, too?"

"Yes, in a different way, but I don't care that way about him. And that makes all the difference in the world."

"I see," the half-giant said, looking lost in thought. "Merci, Ginny, for 'elping me understand."

OooOooOooO

"Ginny, we really have to finish talking about this Draco issue."

"Mum, it's fine. I'll do whatever you say," Ginny sighed.

Draco stared at her as if performing Legilimency. She shook her head ever so slightly at him.

"Come back to Headquarters?" Molly asked suspiciously.

"Will we be able to come back here sometimes? I mean, you can check on us and everything. But sometimes we'll need to come here."

"We'll talk."

"We are talking. Why not just answer?"

"Your father and I have to talk about this before–"

Just then, Madame Maxime cam in, her bag packed. "Thank you, Madame Weasley, for letting me stay 'ere with you. I greatly appreciate all zat you have done for me."

"Are you okay now?" Molly asked, her motherly instincts kicking in as she looked at the sad woman standing before her.

"Yes, I am. Your Ginny 'elped vairy much."

Ginny smiled, stood up, and hugged the half-giant. "Good bye. And I'm sorry."

OooOooOooO

"But, really, you didn't seem very surprised."

Ginny looked at him. "You know how it is. Hagrid was the first. Well, okay, not the first. But the first person really close to us to die. Like I told Harry, there'll be more."

"Doesn't it worry you?"

"Of course it does. But I've, you know, accepted it. I mean, I could die."

Draco stared at her. "Don't say that."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid enough to think that I'm not in danger. Harry didn't understand that I need to feel like I'm part of this–this whole war. That someday–if there is a someday–I want to be able to look back and be proud of myself. I want to do something."

"Even if you die?"

She smiled. "That, Draco, is what makes me a Gryffindor."

"I'm not going to be like Potter and order you to stay here–not that you would listen to anyone if they told you–but I'm coming with you."

Ginny thought of her conversation with Madame Maxime and smiled, knowing that she had been right. Still, she tried to act innocent. "Coming where?"

"Come on, Ginny, you know where."

"No I don't!" she insisted, trying to look very confused.

"I can see you thinking it all the time. You want to escape. You want to go somewhere and not tell anyone. You want to make a difference."

"So?"

"And you're going to."

She just shook her head.

Draco reached down and tilted her head up to look at him. "Aren't you?" he questioned softly, his eyes boring into hers.

She gulped and nodded, knowing that it had to come out.

"When?"

"Soon…I can't be in the background anymore, Draco."

"I know."