A/N: Written for my super awesome twin, BLIND.
Beware!: The tenses jump EVERYWHERE (and I'm too lazy to fix them) ; there is butt sex ; and yes, they are brothers. Don't read if you don't like.
This is my first attempt at a full lemon - so it probably bites. Any help you guys have for me would be fantastic.
So you choose the one whose body you want to feel loose
A shape beneath your hands,
And then day dreams of the future.
The calm, peaceful nights of slumber
Waking only to pull each other closer
When the sky darkens we won't be afraid.
And when the wind ascends,
With all that we've made.
And onto each other we'll hold
Eyes closed tight
With all that we've made swirling
And smashing through the night
When all has gone,
We'll step back and smile.
And watch our lives and each other's eyes.
Standing where our home once stood
With the Nebraska sun showing life
And the love of two.
-Azure Ray-
It started when they were just little kids.
Even in the first grade, the twins took solace in one another - comfort, even, from the mean jests their classmates came up with about their hair or the marks on their faces.
They called them scarred and messed up and not right, and it made Axel cry because all he wanted was to fit in.
It was after school that they went to one another.
Reno was always stronger about the teasing than Axel was - his brother was just too emotional for his own good. Axel flashed from grief to anger in seconds, and this personality quirk of his had gotten him in more than a few playground brawls.
Standing in their bedroom, Reno's fingers would splay across the purple-ing bruise on his brother's cheek. Blue blue eyes would outline the mark, surveying it with a calm and understanding that a seven year old should not have had.
Axel's sobs would die down to hiccups, and those to silence and he would lift his skinny little fingers and press them cautiously against Reno's cheek-bone. Down their fingers would travel, following the curves of their matching bodies, and Reno would smile soft and go, "If there's anything wrong with you, then there's something wrong with me too."
In middle school, they were inseparable. Joined at the hip. There was a joke that went around that said you could not get either boy alone - they were a package deal - if you wanted Reno, you got Axel as well, and vice versa.
The teasing had slowed down and had almost stopped entirely, except for a few stubborn children they'd gone to elementary school who still seemed to think it was funny to ask Axel what kind of paint he used in his hair.
Axel's short temper, however, had only gotten worse. It wasn't unusual for his brother to have to come bail him out of the Principal's office for fighting, or for Reno to have to wait around after-school until his brother had finished serving his detention time.
They had their separate friends - Axel had Larxene and Xigbar and Saix (the latter who Reno did not like in the slightest) - and Reno had Rude and Rufus and a still older boy named Tseng. Their friends did not mix together very well, but that didn't stop Axel and Reno from being close.
At age twelve they were still sleeping in the same bed - even though they each had their own on separate sides of their bedroom - and while their parents thought it was strange, they didn't try to stop it. They didn't try to understand their children's way of comforting one another, but they didn't interfere with it either.
Reno's first kiss was to a pretty blonde girl in his class named Elena when they were fifteen. It hadn't been intentional, and Axel - who had seen it happen- defended angrily that she had sprung it on his brother without giving Reno any warning.
It had been during lunch, outside in the warm near-summer sun, underneath a tree - and afterwards Elena had admitted with a scarlet blush that she liked him as more than a friend. With that lazy charisma, Reno had replied, "I didn't know we were friends."
It was later that night when Axel received his first kiss.
Angry and jealous - and confused by the jealousy, he had rounded on his older (by a minute and three seconds) brother with accusations and anger.
"So are you together now?"
Reno - ever the passive and calm - looked up from his book and pursed his lips. His long red hair had been pulled into a ponytail for the first time and they almost didn't look identical anymore - not since Axel had cut his hair and started spiking it upwards.
"Why?"
Axel sputtered - because he was angry and because he didn't know why he wanted to know so badly. There was something angry and dark eating away at his heart and it made his chest ache horribly with some form of longing he wasn't skilled enough to label.
Fists balling at his sides, he shouted childishly, "Because!" And turned and stomped out of the room with tears already brimming in his eyes.
He restlessly slept in his own bed that night - tossing and turning and dreaming of taunts and mean children and Reno being gone gone gone.
He jumped when a hand clasped on his wrist, bright green eyes jumping open. Reno's face hovers above his in the dark, those blue eyes glittering. "I'm not replacing you," He promises in a hushed voice and before Axel can open his mouth to respond, he kisses him.
"I'm not with her," He says, voice still soft, because Axel was too shocked to kiss back - and crawls over his stunned brother to fall into bed with him.
--
It isn't until they're in high school - and both almost seventeen - that they kiss again.
Somewhere along the way, Axel's gotten attached to this little sulky blue eyed blonde named Roxas who just jerks him around and fucks with his emotions. Reno, needless to say, does not like Roxas and does not like what Roxas does to his brother.
From what Axel says, they aren't going out because Roxas doesn't 'think Axel likes him that much' although Reno thinks it's because he has another guy on the side (he's seen the way Roxas' best friend - that Hayner kid - looks at him) - but Axel gets scolded if he so much as looks at another boy the wrong way. The entire thing is ridiculous and Reno is very glad that he's remained single this entire time because if he got mixed up in a relationship as bad as Axel's he'd probably have to kill himself.
But this second time is after school, late on a Friday night and their mother is out working her second job, and Reno is all alone at home, bullshitting on the phone with Elena and Rude. Axel is out somewhere - Reno doesn't know (and it hurts that he doesn't know) but Axel's friend, Larxene, mentioned something about Roxas.
Reno is smart enough to put two and two together and just continues to talk arrogantly on the phone to keep his mind off of the jealousy bubbling up in his chest. Elena laughs - soft and feminine - and Reno kicks up his feet and sinks back into the chair in his room that he's occupying and from somewhere downstairs, he hears the front door slam shut.
Intrigued, Reno sits up in his chair, cocking an ear towards the bedroom door and listens. After a moment - there is only stomping downstairs and no real sound - he calls out, "Ma?" As a precaution even though it's only seven o'clock and she shouldn't be home until midnight.
Axel slams through the bedroom door a moment later and Reno half-drops the phone in his surprise. Axel's face is pink with anger and his eyes are brimming with tears - which Reno hasn't seen since their father died in the fifth grade.
Axel throws his jacket down onto the ground, and begins to babble, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. Reno cannot make any sense of it until Axel starts with, "He doesn't want me. He doesn't want me. He fucking - fucking told me he doesn't want me!" And Axel starts crying again.
Coming from the speaker of his phone, Reno can hear Elena's voice asking, 'Reno? Are you there?' and to settle that up he hangs the phone up and lets his feet fall from the desk, looking in concern at his little brother.
A twinge of annoyance flutters in the back of his mind at Axel's tears, and he almost wants to ask why he's such a fucking crybaby - but knows that Axel would only hate him for saying such a thing and so he keeps his mouth shut.
"…Inconsiderate little fucker. He has no - no idea!" And Axel's words are breaking off again as he sobs, dropping on his knees before Reno. His fingers fist the material of Reno's baggy, partially un-buttoned white dress shirt, and he buries his face in his brother's chest.
Reno has never been good at comforting anyone but Axel - he has never cared to comfort anyone but Axel. When girls cried, it was nails and a chalkboard to him and he would usually just wrinkle his upper lip in disgust and leave the scene on the spot - even if that required coming off as an asshole for letting the girl cry and cry on the floor behind him.
But Axel was different. He felt his brother's pain, and he understood - even if he had never dealt with a problem such as this - he still felt empathetic and his heart ached for him.
"Axel, I-"
Reno is cut off because Axel suddenly surges forward and kisses him, and it is not innocent like their first. Behind the motion there is anger and betrayal and hurt and passion and Reno finds himself caught up and intoxicated with the emotions.
Axel takes his brother's lack of reaction to be anything but rejection, and nips and sucks at Reno's lower lip, his green green eyes shut so Reno can feel the wet-eyelashes on his cheeks. Axel lets out a choked sob when his brother moves - slipping a hand to cradle his wet cheek - and presses back into the kiss, his tongue outlining Axel's lower lip to gain entrance and their tongues tangle and Axel wonders if everything - their tongues, their lips, their fingers lacing together - are so identical that they maybe look connected now.
He isn't sure how, but somewhere along the way he's rose up and Reno has pulled him into his lap and he's straddling his older brother on the chair. His fingers find the back of his brother's neck, and he digs his nails into the hair resting there. Their kiss has become much more frantic - and Axel isn't sure if it's because he's so upset or if it's because they've both wanted this for so long.
It isn't just lips on lips anymore - it's a blur of tongues and teeth and nips and sucks and, underneath him, Reno moans when Axel's teeth catch his upper lip.
The sound suddenly brings him back to the reality of exactly what they're doing and Axel gasps, and pulls his back - their lips make a wet 'pop' as they break apart. For a long moment, it's just the two of them breathing heavily and thinking, until Axel eventually moves.
The fingers Reno has intertwined with him hold him for a moment - a soft tug - and when Axel looks up questioningly the elder of the two let's his grip slacken.
They go to bed in separate beds that night, but around two in the morning, Axel crawls into Reno's. When Reno looks up in confusion - still half asleep - Axel presses a chaste kiss to his lips and pulls the covers up around them.
--
Things only escalate from there on. Roxas isn't out of the picture because he didn't really reject Axel, not in his opinion, and he shows up every couple of scenes to fuck with Axel's head. He only jumps back into Axel's life whenever he's just about to move on - like when he almost asked this cute kid in his drama class, Demyx, to go out with him, Roxas abruptly calls him after school and demands his attention.
Home life was different, though. In their bedroom, with the door shut and the window's shades pulled down, it didn't matter what they did. In Reno's bed late at night with their stereo turned on, their kisses extended and their curious touches grew - breaking barriers that they knew that, as brothers, they should not have even contemplated.
It was wrong - wrong wrong wrong - and they knew that, but it felt so right, and society's opinion could go get fucked. They weren't hurting anyone, just comforting, so what did it matter to anyone else?
Their mother didn't notice - ever since the death of their father, she had stopped paying much mind to them and just went from day to day in a sort of trance. Schoolmates, friends were oblivious because they kept everything at home, under the sheets and out of view.
It healed both of them, slowly but surely. Axel didn't fight anymore - whenever he came home upset and angry with Roxas and everything else, he would turn instead to Reno. The pain and the hurt was there, and it was deep and inside but they found ways to bandage even the deepest of hurts.
--
They were in their final year of high school when Axel finally broke it off with Roxas. There had never been anything concrete enough to have a solid break up, but after a particularly bad fight with the young blonde that had resulted in Roxas telling him he never wanted to see Axel again - Axel had had enough.
Standing in the middle of the school parking lot with his hands buried deep into the pockets of his jacket he had spat, "Fine!"
And Roxas' eyes had gone wide - watching Axel's retreating back. "What do you mean 'fine'?!" He shouted back, alarmed because Axel had never given up before.
"Fine!" Axel snarled back over his shoulder. "I give up! I'm done! I don't need you, Roxas. Reno was right - all you do is mess with my head, and I have someone who fucks me better anyways." And Axel had left.
--
There are lips on his throat, fingers on his hips, pinning him against the wall. Despite himself, Axel moans - soft and broken and almost drowned out by the music playing on their stereo - and squeezes his eyes shut so the tears don't leak out.
Reno's skilled fingers slip down past the waist-band of his boxers and cup him, and Axel whimpers again. He tilts his head back, unintentionally giving Reno more room to bite and nip and suck, and gasps quietly into the air, "This is so wrong." And he isn't sure if this is because Reno's his brother, or if it's because he's almost envisioning Roxas in his brother's place, or if it's even because their mother is home and in the room over.
But Reno doesn't stop and Axel doesn't push him away because he wants it and Reno wants it - and he's never been one to refuse to give his brother what he wants. Without thinking, he slips his fingers into Reno's hair, effectively pulling the ponytail out and letting the blood red hair fall down around his brother's shoulders.
Reno's hand strokes him - a bit too rough but Axel appreciates it none the less - and he bucks up into the touch with a groan. The lips at his neck are gone, and instead are pressing and stealing kisses from him - and Reno says, soft and amused, "Shut up - do you want to wake Ma?"
Axel shakes his head as much as he can manage with Reno biting his lower lip, and whimpers as his brother's thumb slides over the head of his cock, flitting with the slit and rubbing pre-cum everywhere. "Reno," He whimpers softly, because he's already been told once to be quiet and doesn't need to hear it again.
Reno chuckles and strokes down again - and Axel knows he's pleased his brother because he's always telling him how much he loves to hear his own name. He presses a kiss to Reno's lips, and the other red-head shoves back hungrily, teeth nipping sharply at Axel's bottom lip - and when he groans again, Reno slips his tongue past his lips.
Their tongues touch, slipping across one another wetly in some well practiced dance, and Axel moans again, his fingers tightening in Reno's hair - tugging softly and earning a soft groan from his older brother.
Reno's free hand slips away from the wall he has Axel pinned against to work his brother's pants and boxers down, because all they're doing now is just getting in the way. Their kiss breaks - but only momentarily - as Axel willingly helps and shimmies out of his clothing before Reno claims his lips once again.
Their teeth clink together and Reno tilts his head somewhat to change the angle of their lips and avoid such a thing again, as Axel stops writhing against the wall long enough to lift his hands and push up Reno's classic white dress shirt. He would unbutton it, but that takes time he's not willing to waste right now, and his fingers slide up Reno's defined stomach.
Reno strokes him down again, momentarily distracting him, but Axel's thumbs still sweep up over his brother's nipples and Reno stiffens up and hisses softly.
Axel repeats the motion, even going so far as to lightly graze his nails over each pink nub in a tweak, and Reno stiffens up again before moaning softly and leaning forward to press kisses in hot trails down Axel's neck.
He helps the hands now at his waist to inch off his belt and un-do his pants, his fingers fumbling over the button and fly - and Axel laughs softly at how worked up he is. In revenge, he slips his hand away from Axel's dick - who groans in disappointment - and instead forcibly slips his fingers into his brother's mouth. Axel bites the invading digits momentarily before he accepts his fate and swirls his tongue around Reno's index and middle fingers with a happy purr.
He grasps the sides of Reno's pants, slipping his fingers through the belt loops, and inches them downwards as his brother finally gets them undone.
Reno groans again, distracted because Axel's sucking very sweetly on his fingers and it's just reminding him of what else he could be directing Axel's hot mouth to - but he dismisses the concept and slips his fingers out with a wet 'pop!'.
Pants and boxers down around his ankles, he steps out of them and presses Axel back against the wall, slipping his knee between his brother's legs to make them part. Axel willingly does, of course, because Reno's asking nicely and who is he to say no?
They kiss again, and Reno slips a slicked finger down and slides it easily into Axel's entrance. The younger bites back a groan - because they've done this so many times now that there is barely any initial pain - and suckles Reno's lower lip greedily to keep himself quiet.
Reno presses further, until he's knuckle deep, and swirls the finger around to stretch him more. A second slicked up finger quickly joins the first, and Axel shifts to accommodate the digits. Reno twists his fingers, scissoring them inside of his brother and does his best to stretch quickly because he can feel the saliva drying on his fingers.
When he knows Axel is comfortable enough, he slips a third finger in, and Axel whimpers faintly from somewhere near his ear. He can feel his breath, coming out in hot shallow gasps, against the side of his neck, and with every little gasping breath his cock twitches.
He angles his fingers, reaching for that sweet spot and he knows he's hit his mark when Axel groans throatily and bites his shoulder.
Reno grins despite the sharp pain in his shoulder and lets the tip of his fingers brush over the same spot. Axel stiffens and whimpers against his shoulder again - there are words this time, and Reno can barely catch the, "Don't tease."
"My bad," Reno murmurs, brushing a kiss to the side of Axel's temple before slipping his fingers out. Axel groans again, biting back a noise of disappointment while Reno steps back and reaches over to the small, clear bottle of lube sitting on their dresser.
He flicks the cap off, and tilts the bottle into his hand - although Axel has snuck his hand above his and the lube collects on his brother's hand. Reno opens his mouth to complain as Axel swishes the smooth gel-like liquid along his fingers and says, "Here."
His hand closes around Reno's already hard cock, pumping him while he slicks him up and Reno groans and leans forward to press kisses to the sides of Axel's lips in appreciation.
"Mmm - ready?" He asks, voice husky, and presses his kisses down his twin's jawbone. Axel giggles faintly, his slicked up thumb flitting over the head of Reno's cock and he squeezes once more before pulling his hand away.
He doesn't verbally answer the question, but that's okay because they both know the answer anyways.
Carefully, Reno presses his brother back against the wall and somehow - the details are unknown to either of them - Axel manages to lift himself up and wrap his legs around his twin's hips with one smooth movement, perfected from how many times they've done this before.
He holds onto Reno's shoulder and parts his legs as much as physically possible while in this position while Reno slips in slowly. There is a faint burn, but that's no surprise because he's got a dick up his ass, and Axel merely shifts and tightens his legs as Reno presses in to the hilt.
They pause here so Axel can get used to the feeling, and after a moment the younger red-head squirms slightly and awkwardly leans down to kiss and bite his brother's lips. Reno steadies his legs as their tongues tangle hotly and moves his hips slowly. The effect hits them both quickly and Reno moans softly into his brother's mouth because they're supposed to be quiet about this whole thing because Mother is just next door. The entire concept of getting caught, however, is terribly arousing to the elder and he pulls himself out almost entirely before pushing his hips forward again.
Against the wall, Axel whimpers and twists to meet each movement, and they steadily create a rhythm of their own.
Axel twists and shudders and mewls with each thrust, rocking back down to match Reno's pace effortlessly - although admittedly, having to hold himself against a wall is putting a slight strain on his stomach and thigh muscles - and lets his nails dig into his twin's back and shoulders, marring the milky white skin there.
"Reno," He pants, and whimpers again when his brother presses a finger to his lip and shushes him. His hands go back to Axel's hips, guiding him down for each thrust, his short nails leaving little red half crescent marks on the skin there.
Reno groans, muffling himself by lightly biting the skin between Axel's neck and collarbone, and quickens his pace. Momentarily he's caught wondering if their music is up loud enough to muffle any sounds of them fucking, but the thought is quickly dismissed when Axel tugs at his hair.
He shifts, dropping Axel down an inch or two on the wall, and angles himself a little better so with every thrust, the tip of his cock rubs up against his little brother's prostate. He knows very well when he's hit the mark because Axel moans, soft and low, and arches up.
Reno's close when somewhere along the way, Axel starts talking about Roxas. Normally, he'd be irritated at Axel talking about someone else during sex, but this is a bit different and so Reno allows it for the time being. Axel lets his head fall back against the wall, eyes squeezed shut and biting onto his lower lip so his moans won't become vocalized because he won't be able to keep quiet that way. "I - I already miss him," He admits, groaning and it comes out like a soft hiccupped sob.
To make things better, Reno leans forward and bites Axel's lower lip, guiding him into a kiss. When it breaks, he nuzzles his twin's cheek and murmurs, "He was never good enough for you."
Axel laughs and it twists into a moan as Reno slips a hand forward to wrap his fingers around Axel's weeping erection and begin roughly pumping him in time with his thrusts.
Axel arches back against the wall, finger nails digging into Reno's shoulders and whimpers, "Oh fuck."
Reno groans in agreement of 'oh fuck indeed', and tilts his head down to bury his face in the crook of his twin's neck.
Axel's cries are growing a bit louder now and Reno doesn't have the heart to tell him to shut up - but that's alright because Axel understand anyways and is at least trying to be somewhat quiet. He gasps, clutching and groaning and bucking into the hand jerking him off. "Fuck, Reno I-!" The rest of his sentence is cut off by a moan and he comes, the slick fluid splattering up upon his chest with a dribble of it even hitting his chin.
Axel's cry goes right to his groin, and Reno lets his hand drop to instead grasp Axel's hips again. It only takes him a moment to follow his brother, snapping his hips forward and holding him tightly in place as he rides out his orgasm quietly.
They linger for a moment before Reno pulls out and helps his brother back to his feet. He pulls his own clothing back on while Axel leans back against the wall with a pink flush and a slightly dazed expression. After a moment, he asks, "You - you never liked him, did you?"
In response, Reno leans forward to kiss the cum off of Axel's chin. "Didn't deserve you," He repeats.
--
At school the next day, there are people whispering and staring and pointing and Axel thinks this might have something to do with Roxas, but doesn't voice his ideas.
It's when he reaches Reno by their locker, in the passing time before lunch starts, that Reno reaches out and slips his hand together with Axel's. Their fingers cross and intertwine and Axel steps closer, a smile playing across his features.
A boy from their third period class who's name Axel can't remember - something that starts with a 'T' - walks by with his jock blitz ball friends and turns to cup his hands around his mouth and shout after them, "What are you, faggots?"
Reno's fingers tighten and that cocky smile stretches across his lips. "Maybe we are," He retorts smoothly, pulling his twin flush up against him and Teedus or Timmy or Tidus or whatever's jaw drops.
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