Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers apply.

A/N: This story takes place in the Marauders' sixth year. It will consist of five parts all in all with about 6-7 chapters each. Rating may change as the story progresses, I'm not sure yet how it will play out in detail.

Category: Drama, Romance, Tragicomedy

I do not guarantee a 100% happy ending, so consider yourself warned. I'll adhere to canon timeline, you can draw conclusions from that.

Act 1
En Garde

Scene 1
Without Words

Lily couldn't believe her bad luck as she looked up and realised with whom she had just collided. It could have been anyone. But of course, it had to be James Potter, pain in the neck extraordinaire. It wasn't enough that she had been stumbling about the whole day, one foot being in her mouth at all times, now she absolutely had to bump into James who would doubtlessly not simply be happy with an apology and leave her be. She breathed in deeply to prepare for the inevitable and jumped right in.

"I'm sorry, I didn't watch where I was going." As she had expected, he put on a smile that he probably thought exceedingly charming.

"Not a problem, Lily. I understand that you couldn't think up anything else so quickly."

Lily frowned, but changed her mind. "Whatever you're getting at, tell me some other time. I'm quite late at the moment. As I said, I'm sorry."

James laughed an insufferably presumptuous laugh, as if fancying that he had seen through her. "No problem. You really don't need to be embarrassed. But if you're that uncomfortable, why don't we meet in Hogsmeade next Saturday. We'd be even then."

"I should've known." Lily shook her head, incredulous. He was unbelievable. She smiled sweet and sickly. "Why don't I kick your ass first so it's worth the trouble?"

"I didn't know you were into punishment. But why don't you treat me to a butter beer first. If you still want to touch my butt afterwards..."

Slowly but surely Lily's patience was wearing thin. "Oh, I'm into anything that will get you off my back, Potter. What surprises me is that that actually surprise you."

"I'm just full of surprises. See for yourself. Saturday? I could be fun, you know."

"That would be a first."

"First time for everything."

"Rest assured, if I change my mind, you'll be the first to know. In any case, you'll be the first person I might just strangle with my bare hands. See, you're already on the top of my list."

"If you want to get your hands on me that badly, why didn't you just say so, blossom?" James grinned. He was actually having fun, obviously. What was wrong with him?

"Dream on. And now, if you would excuse me." She was about to slip past him through the door and into the Great Hall to try and get at least some left overs of dinner when James stepped to the side and blocked her way again.

"What now?" Lily asked, severely irritated by now, as everyone could clearly see. Everyone except James. Where were Sirius and Peter when she needed them? Souldn't they be here somewhere and remind James of Quidditch practice or something of the sort? Or better yet, where was Remus? Not that James would have listened should Remus have tried to persuade him to let it go, but maybe Lily could have used the three seconds distraction.

"Let's have a little bet, what do you say, Lily?"

"What kind of bet?"

"I bet that you'll touch me of your own free will in the course of the next three months, and not to cause me bodily harm, if you get my drift." He looked at her challengingly. "I doesn't have to be my butt," he added, grinning impishly.

"Please, do me a favour and stop right there."

"I bet I can persuade you to date me."

"Why do you think that will work when it never has before?" Lily couldn't deny that she was really curious. He must think that he had some ace up his sleeve or something. Either that or he'd been hit by one too many bludger.

"Well, you have to give me a chance. Maybe you'll like me when you know me better, hm?"

"Are you saying I should go on a date with you to decide if maybe I want to go on a date with you? Are you kidding me?"

"Not at all. Spend every first Saturday of the next three months with me, and if you never want to talk to me again after that, then so be it. But if you should still want to talk to me, which I think very likely..." He grinned self-assuredly. "Either way, you get a couple of unforgettable weekends out of it, Lily dear."

"Unforgettable in one way or another." She snorted disdainfully. "You'll never talk to me again? Under no circumstances?"

"Well, let's say I'll never try to talk you into a date again."

Lily stared at him. He must have lost his marbles. What made him think he had even the slightest chance with her? What had she ever done to encourage him? The longer she thought about it the more certain victory seemed. She could easily take a few lousy weekends if that meant she would get a lot more weekends without James and his incessant stupid babbling. That decided it.

"It's a date." She pushed her way into the Great Hall, leaving James standing in the hallway. Where she had stood a moment before, Severus Snape appeared seemingly out of thin air.

"If I were you, Potter, I'd stop grinning. You look moronic."

"If you were me, you'd have washed hair." James wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned to go. "Shove off to your dungeon and play with your sow bugs", he threw back over his shoulder.

Severus smiled, unimpressed. "Hey, Evans, wait up!"

James could do nothing but watch as Severus reached Lily in a few long strides and put a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. She turned to him, smiled and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. When he answered, she gave him a friendly shove while James looked from one to the other, torn between incredulity and revulsion.

James was still standing there when the door had long since closed behind Severus.