Chris' Girlfriend

Written by

Mr. Semaj

ACT I

Scene I – Football Game

Peter, Lois, Chris, Brian, and Meg are watching a football game between the Patriots and the Bills. Meg was wearing a sweater just for the occasion.

It is the final second with The Bills behind by only two points. Rian Lindell is about to kick a game-winning field goal. Meg thinks Lindell is a cutie.

The kick is made…

…and it's good! The Bills beat the Patriots 21-20.

Peter, having made a bet on the game, is in hysterics over the Pats' first loss of the season. Lois tries to calm him down, but Peter won't stop. Meg got up to stretch for a bit. Peter suddenly turned around and ordered Meg to take off the sweater she was wearing throughout the game.

When he snatches the sweater off, he makes a terrible discovery. Meg was secretly a Bills fan!

The Code Violet alarm set off. Lois ran to get help.

"Oh my God, I'll get the holy water!"

Peter was about to punish Meg in the worst way possible; a blow to the head with a mallet.

But Brian stopped Peter in his tracks, risking a blow himself, and tried to calm Peter down. As he reminded Peter that it was only their first loss in their past ten games, he re-directed him to the couch. Peter muttered something ominous to Meg, only to get bonked on the head with the mallet.

Brian was sedating him for his medication.

Scene II – New Friend

During lunchtime at James' Woods High School, Chris was interested in making new friends. Of course, the Populars won't dare talk to him.

He consulted Meg about how to deal with being an outsider. Meg was unable to give a satisfactory answer. She is still hounded by Neil.

Chris saw Neil as more confident on his outside status, and decided to hang out with him.

Scene III – Day at the Park

Later that day, Meg took time out in the park to ease her pain. She sat on a bench and thought to herself on that crisp, Autumn day.

"I am the yellow tulip in a field of red."

She then saw a brown pigeon fly down to where a group of gray pigeons were eating bird seeds. The brown pigeon tried to join, only to be scared away by the elite gray pigeons.

Meg called for the pigeon, which flew back in her direction. He settled on Meg's finger, where Meg mused about his under-appreciated individualism.

"You and I are one of a kind."

Scene IV – The Hero

Back at James Woods High, Chris begun to fancy the idea of hanging out with Neil, as they spent most of their study hall periods having fun in the Audio-Visual Lounge.

They took a stroll down the hallway to get snacks from the vending machine.

At the same time, or the next floor, a janitor had just finished mopping and waxing the hallway, but hadn't yet put up a wet floor sign.

Connie was walking down the same hallway, and hadn't noticed the floor. She slid all the way down, zipping past the janitor, and near the stairway. She bounced off the banister, and fell a full story.

Chris and Neil were eating snacks on the bottom floor, and while in conversation, Chris reached out his arms.

Connie fell in his arms!

The Populars gathered to where Chris had just saved Connie's life. Neil just happened to have his camera with him. In spite getting chocolate on Connie's rear, Chris' heroism immediately made the headlines in the school newspaper.

Scene V – Morning Shocker

Meg woke up the next morning and walked into the living room. She is shocked to see Connie hanging out with Chris!