The Old Alien Influence Excuse Part Two

******

Daniel Jackson was sitting in the commissary, half-heartedly picking at a bowl of jello whilst reading a book he'd been wanting to read for ages but never had the time for. A sudden tingling at the back of his neck made him jerk his head up. The room was getting inexplicably warm, he felt flushed, and he was more than a little disconcerted to note that his blood had started rushing due south.

His vision was slow to come into focus, but after a moment he could clearly see Urgo standing, or rather, bouncing, just behind Teal'c, who had also been picking at a bowl of jello. Teal'c's head came up slowly, a very strange look in his eyes.

Daniel shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He cleared his throat and fixed his stare on Urgo with resolute determination. "No."

"Why not?" Urgo asked, his eyes twinkling and his voice slightly whiny.

"No," Daniel repeated a little more firmly. He averted his gaze, redirecting his attention back to the book, although the words on the page suddenly made no sense whatsoever.

'Aren't you even curious?" Urgo tried again.

"No." Even though he couldn't make out a single word, he kept his eyes firmly glued to the pages.

"Not even a little bit?"

The strange tingling sensation suddenly grew stronger, impossible to ignore. Daniel stood up abruptly, not sparing even a second's glance at Teal'c or Urgo as he turned and stomped out of the commissary; his armed escort had to march double time to catch up with his exit.

Teal'c rose from his seat, far more slowly and gracefully than the flustered archaeologist had. "I must return to my quarters," he told his guard. "I feel the need for kelno'reem."

******

Jack stepped out of the corridor first, still straightening out the top of his uniform. Sam came out behind him, looking slightly flushed but otherwise miraculously unruffled.

"So," Jack began as he moved down the hall. Sam fell into step beside him, two curious but silent armed guards behind them. "Shall we see what Daniel and Teal'c are up to?" His eyes held that mischievous twinkle in them that Sam had secretly come to adore.

"Sure," she replied, a conspirator's grin on her face and a matching twinkle in her eyes.

They went to the commissary where Jack said he'd last seen them, but neither was to be seen. An inquiry to the guard at the door informed them that each had retired to their separate quarters. They headed off, deciding to split up. Sam would check on Teal'c while Jack would look in on Daniel.

Jack meandered down the hall, humming tunelessly. He and his guard finally came to halt at Daniel's door. He knocked sharply, a second time when no answer came after several seconds.

"Go away!" Daniel's voice was harsh despite the muffling effects of the steel.

"It's me, Daniel. Open up," Jack replied.

It was a long moment, filled with audible grumbling, followed by the loud thump accompanied with colorful, if completely foreign and possibly even alien, cursing, before the door opened up marginally. "What," Daniel growled.

"Everything okay in there?" Jack's voice held only the vaguest of concern, covered as it was with wry amusement.

"Yeah, fine. Uh…" Daniel trailed off, seeming to take Jack in for the first time. "Urgo got to you, didn't he?"

Jack said not a word, but his smirk answered for him.

"He probably got to Sam too, I bet," Daniel mused, then groaned when Jack's grin broadened. "That is so unfair," he complained. "I was stuck in the commissary with Teal'c."

Jack gaped. "No!"

"Yes," Daniel confirmed grimly.

"He didn't," Jack said in disbelief.

"He did."

"You didn't—

"No!" After that resounding denial, Daniel's face broke into a slightly sheepish smile. "I got out of there fast enough, but a nurse in the elevator wasn't so lucky."

"Good for you!" Jack beamed, patting Daniel on the shoulder in hearty congratulations.

"Anyway, I think it's probably best if I just… stay here for a while. Wait till Urgo gets distracted by something shiny. You know, you and Sam should probably do the same." When Jack's eyebrows shot up, Daniel hastily added, "In your own quarters."

Jack's eyebrows dropped back down a notch. "I suppose that would be the responsible thing to do."

"Yes, it would," Daniel said reasonably.

"On the other hand…" Jack's eyebrows began to waggle impishly.

"Don't do it, Jack," Daniel warned.

"You know the power of Urgo's suggestions," Jack retorted, his smile decidedly snarky.

Daniel shifted tactics. "Please," he said quietly, almost begging.

Jack took no mercy on the frustrated archaeologist. "May I recommend a cold shower?"

"Jack—" His voice was cut off by Jack pushing hard against his chest and closing his own door in his face.

Jack turned on his heel and marched back down the hall with long, purposeful strides. His guard shook his head with a wry smile of his own. This was certainly turning out to be one of the more entertaining details since his recent assignment to this strange base.

He met Sam not far down the hall a scant minute later. "The guard said Teal'c was engaged in kelno'reem," she told him when the met up.

"I'm guessing that's Jaffa for cold shower," Jack replied, sounding highly amused. Sam couldn't quite hold back an answering chuckle. "Daniel is similarly engaged. That just leaves the two of us." He didn't even try to hide the leering waggle of his brows. "Any suggestions?"

Sam's eyes crinkled for a second before snapping wide open. "214 B," she said simply.

Jack almost frowned until recognition dawned. "Jacuzzi room! I like!''

"Though you might," she replied with a cheeky smile. As they began walking, the two guards behind them exchanged knowing, amused smiles.

A short time later, the guard outside Daniel Jackson's room started chuckling when he heard a loud groan, followed by the archaeologist's slightly off-key voice.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…"