Disclaimer: Don't own it, Sam Raimi and Joss Whedon do...sigh

Prologue: The People Vs. Ashley J. Williams

Very short, I know...basically my version of what happens after Army of Darkness...absolutely no flow to speak of.

Getting away with murder is simple.

The hard part is trying to explain to a jury of your peer's why it was necessary to mutilate your victims corpse with an axe.

Ashley J. Williams was learning the hard way that things that you can get away with while trapped in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, like dismembering your girlfriend with a chainsaw, was a lot harder to pull off in the middle of a semi-crowded S-Mart. Now all he could do was sit behind his little table in the middle of the courtroom and face the dozen people currently staring at him.

They weren't staring at "him" him, but at a miniscule version of him (lucky for them, this time not evil) currently chopping up a customer's body with one of S-Marts top of the line axes, completely unaware of the security cameras catching the entire deed on tape.

He'd known he was in trouble when the prosecution had informed him of that security tape, and by the looks of disgust on all twelve of the jurors faces, he'd been right.

Well…actually eleven, one juror was currently covering her eyes and he really couldn't tell if her facial expression resembled the others, although her face was turning decidedly green.

He wasn't worried about the murder charges; the villainous tape had at least proven he was innocent of murder via self defense. It was what would happen if he was found criminally insane that he was a bit concerned about. And by the way the trial had been going thus far he didn't have much hope for getting out of those charges.

As much as Ash had tried to explain that it was necessary to mutilate the crazy zombie bitch (Or "The out of control patron") the court was still stuck on the fact that he'd actually hacked up a person, a dead person. The prosecution maintained that anyone who would mutilate a corpse was seriously deranged and required at least psychiatric help.

The only problem with that was that Ash had had psychiatric help. Didn't help. There are just some things that you couldn't endure without going bat shit crazy.

Spending days in a cabin killing friends, family and lovers turned deadites was definietly high on that list. Ash was completely insane; he had no qualms about it. His only aim now was to make sure that the court didn't find out.

If they were judging him for chopping up one measly customer, imagine if they knew about Linda, or Scottie or any of the other bodies that were probably still littering that cabin…

Reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Especially since this is one of the worse, and extremely clunky things I've written. This plot bunny's been giving me headaches for weeks, but it won't go away. So I decided to post it and hope for some nice reviewy advice on how to drive the story and make it flow better.