Chapter 1 – First Thoughts I

Okay, the first chapter is about Bella thinking, and it isn't the most exciting chapter at all. It gets better in chapter three and gets much better in chapter five, so just hold on! This is my first fanfic so I'd really appreciate any comments you have for me. Enjoy!

Bella's POV

I know the wedding is planned for after my birthday, but Alice said that if we did it in the winter then it would be snowing instead of raining…and I kind of hurt her feelings by refusing to even think about the- ugh, my, wedding dress after Alice found the shoes that somehow matched both my bright red cheeks (you try standing on a pedestal with Esme, Rosalie, Alice, Angela, and, yes, even Jessica, staring at you for hours on end) and the dress that, I had to admit it, was perfect for both Edward and me.

Ahh, Edward. I wondered yet again what I had done to deserve him. I looked over at him driving quickly in the direction of his house. I saw his soft, round lips, which had a slight upward curve to them. They grew wider and longer as I continued on watching him with my head starting to fill with honey. I looked farther up on his face, having to close my eyes momentarily while passing his, but I did get a look at his long, long eyelashes that seemed to float up and around as his eyes swiveled toward mine. I realized then that his smile had only been him trying to stay still as I watched him. He's always so good at pretending to not notice-

His eyes swallowed me up, then. His beautiful eyes that had…that were…not even…umm …ahh… A quiet chuckle and dip of his head brought me back. I was able to manage a small frown before grinning along with him having realized that he had unleashed the full force of his eyes on me, undoubtedly excited about having tonight alone, which was why I had lost my train of thought. He seemed to be staring at me a lot lately. He had also been leaning in to me and stroking my hair a lot. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind at all! Except for those few times that Alice or Jasper has to remind me to breathe when he kisses me before Edward becomes aware of my lack of oxygen. It's as if he wants to hear my heart flutter away more than it usually does in his mere presence.

I mulled over that thought while we pulled into the Cullen's long driveway. By the time Edward had parked and walked around the car to open my door for me, I had concluded that he does in fact want to hear my heart beat wildly until the last one dies away.

I'm worried about Edward. I'm worried that he'll take my transformation so much harder than I will. I just don't know how I'll be able to stand looking into his eyes, his eyes that will be so full of pain the second his sweet lips leave my skin. I've been trying to make sure he knows how ready I am.

I am ready. After my junior prom, when he made me believe that he would bite me right then and there, I only thought I was ready. Now, I realize both what I'll be gaining, my eternal happiness, and what I'll be giving up. I'll have to give up my friends, my parents, a life where I have children and die a natural death, the way Edward looks at me when I blush or when I stumble down the stairs or just on a flat, unobstructed surfaces. And…I'll have to give up Jake.

I glanced at Edward, and was thankful yet again that he can't read my mind. Somehow, we had gotten into his room. He was sitting on his dark couch; elbows on knees, chin propped up on his hands. Ducking my head, I noticed that I was still standing in his doorway with one arm awkwardly positioned up by my waist with my hand hanging limply toward the floor. That's when I realized that I hadn't moved since Edward led me up the stairs to his room. He was obviously waiting for me to do or say something; he must not have wanted to interrupt my thoughts and got bored in the wait.

I'd like to ask a question at the end of each chapter just for fun. The person who gives the best answer gets the next chapter dedicated to them. Please try to keep your responses short, though, because I want to post them at the beginning of your chapter. I'll only post your answer - not your review. Question 1: Which Cullen would you not want to be your sibling and why?