Title: Picture

Chapter: Ch. 3 - Home

Author: SBX

Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Bluestreak, mention of others

Pairings: ProwlxJazz, mention of MoonracerxOFC and Bluestreakx??

Rating: PG

Warnings: AU, angst-fest ahead

Disclaimer: No character used in this story belongs to me except Bebop and Skysong. Betaed by the lovely Okami Myrrhibis.

Summary: The picture of a perfect family torn apart.

A/N: Tried finishing chapter 7 of CCL, but it didn't want to be finished quite yet so I decided to come back to Picture by popular demand.

The whole chapter is written from Bluestreak's POV with little flashbacks from his time in Dursa in the form of transmissions to his parents. If you guys can figure out what the Autobots have decided to do about Blue's loss of memory without it having to be spelled out for you then you win a hundred internets. And a cookie for whoever can guess Blue's mystery crush. :D

They all stare at me, and I can't quite bring myself to ask them to stop. Some of them act like they know me even though I don't know them. Then again, I don't know a lot of things anymore, not even myself.

My last clear memories were of a pale blue femme (Skysong) and a black and white mech with the optics of a Decepticon but not the attitude (Barricade).

Skysong died. I remember the triple changer ripping her spark out and her scream of pain will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life. I remember Barricade hiding a data disk inside of my spark casing then pressing a rifle into my hands and telling me to run. I'm pretty certain Barricade is dead now too.

Anything before or after that was an incomprehensible blur and the medic that had made the head aches go away said that I might never remember the things I have forgotten.
It hurt to think of how much I have lost, but not as much as the look on the visored mech's face. He hugged me when I first came in and cried my name over and over again. I didn't have the spark to tell him I don't know his.

ooooo

Hey, dad! How are you and father doing? That's good. Yeah, I'm doing okay. I miss you guys though and everybody else back at home. Yes, Skysong and Barricade are very nice. Barricade is stern just like father is.

What? Friends? Not yet. There is this femme my age who I've spoken with a few times, but I don't know her well enough yet to be friends. Her name's Bebop. What?! Dad, no! That's gross! I'm too young to be interested in femmes like that.

...She has a crush on this other femme named Moonracer anyway. She's older and real pretty so I can't blame Bebop for liking her.

What? You gotta go so soon? Oh, alright. I love you, and make sure father knows that I love him too. And tell the Twins not to get into too much trouble without me, okay? Good.

Oh, and dad? When can I come home?

ooooo

I think they're lying to me. Why I don't know, but I know they are. The medic (Ratchet, got to start remembering people's names) wouldn't look me in the optics when he said they don't know who or where my creators are.

That doesn't make any sense; they knew me, why wouldn't they know my creators? The visored mech (Jazz, ya glitch head, you need to remember) avoids me now when before Ratchet had trouble keeping him away from me. And the mech with the door wings that looks so much like me (Prowl or Prowler?) was almost cold to me now. Only Prime and the Twins (Sunny and Sides? No those are their nicknames) treated me the same.

It was all very strange, or at least I think it's strange, I really don't have a reference for what's normal. I keep asking questions, keep trying to find out how all these Autobots know me but I don't know them and all I get are vague answers or no answers at all and it's all so very frustrating.

I've tried researching on my own but the security chief (Red-something or other) had what Ironaft (Ironhide! Hide! Stop listening to Sides) called a conniption fit of the Very Serious Kind when I accessed the Autobot's computer systems. Prime politely asked me to not do that again without permission. I don't think they trust me yet, even though Sunny (Sunstreaker, he doesn't like being called Sunny) said that Red is like that with everyone.

I'm starting to wonder if I should stay here. I'm not learning anything about myself that I didn't already know. The Autobots don't trust me; some don't even seem to like me. I miss Skysong and Barricade and Dursa and what little I can remember about them.
I just want to go home.

ooooo

Hello, father! You're not too busy right now, are you? I didn't get to talk to you last time...You're not? That's great!

Yes, sir, I'm behaving myself. Yes, sir, Skysong and Barricade are still treating well. Are you and dad going to ask me these same questions every time I send a transmission? I know you guys worry, but Ratchet wouldn't have recommended this place if I wouldn't be safe.

Yes, it is illogical to worry, but you're my creator and you care about me so I guess I can let it slide. Just don't let dad know.

Who, Bebop? Dad told you about her? That snitch. No I don't like her like that. Or Moonracer. We are getting to be really good friends though.

How is everybody back home? The same? That tells me absolutely nothing. Sides and Sunny got injured? Fighting 'Cons or 'Bots? A prank?! Bet Ratchet was hopping mad.

Have you guys fought any Decepticons lately? Tyger Pax? Oh, I heard about that. Did we lose very many soldiers? I know I'm too young to be worrying about that but I can't help it! I have friends and family in the Autobots, I can't help but worry.

I know, I'm sorry for yelling. I just miss you guys. Father, when can I come home?

ooooo

I can't seem to recharge properly, images of Dursa and its people ravaged and in pieces haunting my nightmares. I try so hard to remember a time when I had pleasant dreams but like everything else, those memories are gone. It seems that everything I do is a reminder of how much I have lost.

With nothing else to do I left my assigned quarters and explore the parts of the base I'm allowed access to. I'm sure Red Alert is watching my every move from the monitor room but as long as I don't do something I'm not supposed to he leaves me alone.

I haven't had much time to look around before so it's really no surprise to find that I'd gotten myself lost. Ratchet is going to blow a circuit if he checks up on me and finds me gone.

I didn't even realize that I'd wondered into the officers' barracks until I stumbled across Jazz huddled against a door looking about as miserable as I felt. I almost went back the way I came from, it would be rude to intrude on his pain, but he saw me before I could turn around.

"Hey Blue, what're you doing up so late?" Jazz asked, forcing a cheerful smile on his face. I don't like it; it doesn't look right on his face.

"Couldn't sleep," I murmured, approaching cautiously. I can't forget that he's been avoiding me and I wonder if my presence is welcome. "Why are you sitting out here?"

Jazz gave me a sad smile as he patted the ground next to him, obviously asking me to sit. So he wants my company after all. "It's kinda complicated, but basically boils down to Prowler getting' tired of all my slag and throwin' me out of our room."

I cock my head to the side curiously at that. "You two are room mates?" I asked in confusion. They seemed to not get along very well for roommates.

Jazz gave me an amused look. "So close, yet so far. We're bond mates. We've been havin' some problems lately."

I think about this new information for a few astroseconds and compare it with what I've already seen about Jazz and Prowl. "These problems have something to do with me don't they?"

Jazz tensed up beside me and I had my answer. Then he relaxed and gave me a wry smile. "Smart kid, they kinda have something to do with you. And before you start feelin' all guilty it has nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do or anything like that."

I gave a puzzled look but before I could ask him to continue he started talking again. "Me an' Prowl had a youngling that we sent to Dursa because it was supposed to be safer than Iacon." Here he gave a short, bitter bark of laughter and my spark lurched in apprehension. I could see where this was going.

"He was livin' in Dursa when it was attacked. He..." here Jazz's voice caught, the pain almost too much for him to bear. He looks at me with the most agonized expression I'd ever seen. "You know...you look a lot like him."

I can't stop myself from hugging him after that and he hugs me back. We've both lost something important and we both need the comfort that the other is offering even as we seek it.

Prowl found us like this a breem later. He just stares for the longest time and Jazz fidgets nervously. Finally he can't seem to take the silence anymore. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I know I've been impossible the past few orns."

Prowl sighed at that and kneeled before the two of us. He reaches out to stroke Jazz's cheek and Jazz leans into the touch with a contented smile. It was an incredibly intimate moment and I feel uncomfortable witnessing it, especially since Jazz still has me in a loose hug.

All of a sudden everything is okay between them and I get the feeling they're communicating in a way that I can't perceive.

Prowl leans forward and gives Jazz a gentle kiss and now I feel really uncomfortable and just a little bit lonely. I can't remember ever getting that kind of affection.

Prowl then looks at me and I feel like he's measuring me somehow. I guess I wasn't found wanting because he smiles at me and says, "Welcome to the family."

Jazz grins at both of us at that and this one looks right because it's genuine and I smile back. It's the first time I've smiled since Dursa.

ooooo

Hey, Dad. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just a little upset. My teacher got 'let go'. I don't know, something about gambling. I know that's serious but he was a good teacher and it never really never let it interfere with his teaching. No one even knew until that glitch Cliffjumper snitched.

No I'm not gonna tell you his name. I heard he's decided to join the Autobots and I don't want you and father hassling him.

Hm? Oh, my new teacher. I don't know how but Skysong managed to talk Barricade into subbing until the school finds someone else. Yeah, he's a good teacher, though not a lot of the other kids like him because he's so strict. He doesn't treat me different from the other students so don't worry about that.

Heh, how did I know you'd eventually ask about Bebop and Moonracer? No I'm still not interested in either of them. I like somebody else. No I'm not gonna tell you who. Cause he's too old for me and nothing will ever come of it and I don't want you to beat him up.

...How did you-? No, wait, I forgot who I was talking to, of course you figured it out. Dad, it's just a crush and it's not like he'll ever feel the same.

Could you not tell father? I don't want him to think differently about me. Thanks dad.