A/N: I wrote this chapter to distract me from Growing Up Yakuza's childhood musings. Probably a 2-shot though I might write more if inspiration hits me. Each chapter features a random moment with the boys and one of their crazy plans. Since it is a distraction piece, next update will revolve around my need for "slightly more grown-up musings".
Disclaimer: Gokusen isn't mine but this story is.
Drive In
Sawada Shin was the brains behind the brawns. The four boys knew this, which was the reason why they ran all their plans through him. It was true that on occassion they had to convince him to try out one of their ideas. It was also true that once he conceded he was the one fine tuning it. Sometimes all it needed was a little nudge here. Other times redirection was in order. And most times a complete overhaul was necessary in order to make the plan effective.
Still there were times when he wanted no part in their plans. On these occasions, he simply checked the potential for disaster associated with these plans. If he deemed his four friends wouldn't get into any serious trouble then he left them to their own devices. 'They'd learn eventually', he thought.
However, not all of their wild schemes were brought to Shin's attention. Shin, of course, would worry once he got wind of these schemes. There was a good reason for this. On average, most plans the four boys tried executing without the help of their fearless leader ended in failure.
This time the plan consisted on trying to get those two together. It had been awhile since the four boys took a crack at it. Of course, all of this was instigated by Ucchi whose fertile mind was quick to come up with the most ludicrous plans.
"We go to the drive-in and we force 'em to sit together, then we leave half-way thru the movie." Ucchi's eyes sparkled with excitement.
"That's stupid! Why do we hafta leave half-way thru the movie?" Minami didn't want to hear another one of Ucchi's half-baked plans.
"Yeah. If I start seeing a movie I wanna finish it!" Kuma said not wanting to waste good money he could be spending on food.
"Dickwads, that ain't the point." Noda said knocking Kuma and Minami upside the head. "The point is that we don't hafta go, we can say we're goin' and cancel at the last minute." Noda said trying his best to explain Ucchi's plan.
"No, that's not the point. The point is we hafta force 'em to sit together." Ucchi said emphatically. His left fist hit the palm of his right hand like a gavel.
"Of course they'll sit together. Whaddaya think Yankumi's gonna sit in the back while Shin is in front?" Minami looked at Ucchi a little bit irritated by his friend's idiocy.
"Uh-huh." Noda smirked. "I'm still waiting to hear what's so great about this plan."
"It's a drive-in!" Ucchi said exasperated as if it was obvious. "Who watches the movie at a drive-in?"
"Lots of people!" The three boys cried in unison. This made Ucchi think. He didn't like it when there were kinks in his plans. The problem with Ucchi was that he usually spent most of his time convincing the others that the kinks they saw were a figment of their own imagination. However, as hard as he tried, there was no way around this one. He had to concede.
"If they just watch the movie, it will be all for nothing." Ucchi reflected aloud. "Maybe we can help things move along." Ucchi pondered as his right index and thumb stroked nonexistent facial hair.
"I don't know about this. Do you remember last time? I'm not running laps around the school again if anything goes wrong." Ucchi purposedly ignored his friend's protest as the gears of his brain turned in that old familiar way that got them into so much trouble.
"Hmm. We can get them to see... something scary. When she is trembling with fear she'll hold onto Shin..." He proceeded to demonstrate on Noda who shoved his friend away from him. Ucchi brushed aside his friend's objection and added "It's the perfect opportunity for Shin to make his move." As misguided as he may be, Ucchi was relentless in the pursuit of his friend's best interest.
"Oi! Does Shin even have a move? Considering he's never been interested in any girl before and that date he had..."
"Shuddup! Of course he does! We're talkin' 'bout Shin here." Kuma defended his red-haired friend.
"I'm sorry to dump on the plan but it ain't gonna work"
"Why's that?"
"None of us have a car!" Ucchi didn't waver in the face of pesky details.
"No problem, we only need to borrow one. Who knows how to hot-wire a car?" Ucchi yelled raising a hand in the air.
-o-
And so it was that in the dead of night, four boys were seen stealthily scouting the streets looking to borrow a car. Furtive glances at his counterparts confirmed Kuma's suspicions. They were uneasy. It wasn't like it was the first time one of Ucchi's so called plans had the potential to blow up in their faces. In fact, it seemed to be a requirement for most of Ucchi's plans. And sure, it wasn't like they were aversed to borrowing things. Kuma himself borrowed a scooter from one student sometime ago. He remembered threatening the guy who was so scared he almost peed his pants before giving him the keys. Kuma had to muffle a snicker. Sure, he returned the scooter, albeit six months later. 'That was a sweet ride' Kuma thought almost dreamily. 'Good times...' He nodded. 'Good times...' He brandished a silly grin before his uneasiness intruded. His brow furrowed.
"I don't know about this. Are ya sure ya know how to hot-wire a car?"
"Of course, I asked my uncle. Here, I wrote it all down." Ucchi whispered waving a little piece of paper in his hand.
"Just what we need a croqui on how to hot-wire-a-car!" Noda rolled his eyes. Minami shook his head.
"Anyway, what do you guys think about this car?" Minami leaned on the hood of the car only to be welcomed by the car's blaring alarm.
BEEP BEEP"Fuc"BEEP"F"BEEP BEEP"ck"BEEP BEEP"Shit!"BEEP BEEP"Ruu"BEEP BEEP"uunn!!!"BEEP BEEP BEEP
The irritated owner stepped out to check on his car only to catch a brief glimpse of four boys running away. The owner silenced the alarm while assuring the groggy woman standing beside him in a satin robe that it had only been some damn kids playing a prank.
Several blocks away, four out of breath boys panted trying to draw in enough air.
"Crap!"(pant) "How are we gonna" (pant) "deal with that?" (pant)
"I don't wanna" (pant) "hafta do that again." (pant)
"Let's just go home!" (pant)
"Hey"(pant) "we're doin' this for Shin!"
Noda wanted to knock Ucchi on the back of the head but decided against it. His need for air was more pressing at the moment. He gulped trying to calm his breathing before replying, "We're gonna go to jail for Shin?!"
"No. I'm telling ya guys, this is fool proof!" said Ucchi with a self-satisfied grin, waving again the little piece of paper.
"Lemme see that!" Kuma snatched the piece of paper from Ucchi's hand. "Man! How're we gonna read this? I can't even make out what you wrote." Kuma squinted trying to make out the instructions.
"Lemme try." Minami snatched the paper from Kuma. "Geez Ucchi! You wrote it in pencil and your greasy fingers smudged it out. What are we gonna do now?!" Unbeknownst to them, a woman had approached them.
"What are you trying to do?" said Yankumi appearing out of nowhere, as usual.
The four boys just stood there stupefied. In his daze, Minami dropped Ucchi's croqui which drifted gently towards Yankumi. Unfortunately for the boys, Yankumi caught it as it passed by her. Amusement surfaced to her features as she read the instructions.
"Hmm... I see... Is this what you were trying to do?" She waved the piece of paper which she held between two fingers like a cigarette while the other hand rested on her waist, a lopsided smirk on her face.
Bracing themselves for a reprimand they just stared at her. Instead of a reprimand, they were greeted with Yakuza101 on how to hot-wire-a-car.
"First of all you need to make sure the car doesn't have one of those touch alarms. It is not much of a problem because most owners set it to a very sensitive setting which will be to your advantage. This means if it goes off you just continue walking as if it went off because you passed too close to the car." She said strolling away as a demonstration. The boys nodded at that still flummoxed at their teacher giving them this kind of lesson.
"Second you want an easy mark so you look for a car whose doors are unlocked or their windows are down. Of course, if you can find one with the keys inside that would be better but that is unlikely in this neighborhood." She looked around the neighborhood as if to confirm her last statement. The boys just stood there jaws agape openly gawking at her.
"Now, if you're using it as a getaway car, you need to make sure to first disengage the steering lock." With a puzzled look on their faces, the boys mouthed to each other "getaway car?"
"Well, it's a little more involved than I make it sound", she muttered more to herself than the boys.
The teacher pressed on oblivious to her students' dumbstruck expressions. "You don't want the steering wheel locking up on you...", she trailed off as she finally noticed her students' odd behavior.
She fixed her attention on them and waited. Their mouths opened as if to say something only to close a few seconds later when no clear thought came forth. This process was repeated several times with blinking eyes as their brains tilted like an old-fashioned pinball machine. Realizing she was about to blow her cover, Kumiko gave her typical nervous laugh.
"Ah... hehehe... Well, I... had this ex-boyfriend who was... a bit on the dangerous side. Hehehe..." She rubbed the back of her head with her right hand while inwardly checking if the explanation sounded believable. "Anyway", she said trying to deflect the attention away from her, "Why do you want to steal a car?" A reprimand was out of the question after she had started given them advice on how to go about the task.
"We were not gonna steal nothing. We were just gonna BORROW" Ucchi defended himself.
"Borrow, then." Yankumi corrected herself emphasizing the Borrow with a smirk.
"Er..." They looked at each other.
"Well, we wanted to go to the drive-in." Ucchi said finally, unsure if it was a good enough reason.
"Why don't you just go to the cinema? You don't need a car for that." Yankumi offered
". . . . . . ."
They looked at each other again. An uncomfortable pregnant pause wafted in the air.
"They are not showing the movie we wanna see in the cinema" said Kuma inciting a bunch of yeah's and several pats on the back at his clever comeback.
"We would have invited you", Minami added.
"You were gonna invite me to go out on a STOLEN CAR." She looked at them in disbelief.
"BORROWED!" The four boys chorused feeling their dignity impugn.
"Fine, fiiiine." She said waving her hand dismissively. "What movie did you guys wanna see?"
". . . . . . ."
None of them knew what was playing at the drive-in. Even less what was playing at the drive-in that was not playing at the cinema. Ucchi broke the silence by saying, "It doesn't matter now. We got no car."
Yankumi thought for awhile. OK, stealing a car is wrong but it wasn't like they were trying to sell it for parts or anything like that. In its own twisted way, it was innocent... even sort of cute but then again Yankumi was a little twisted herself.
"You know you shouldn't be stea- er... borrowing cars."
"Yeah, whatever. Tell it to someone who cares." Noda was peeved at having been caught by Yankumi. He wasn't sure why he even agreed to follow Ucchi's plan. He supposed it was loyalty or maybe he just had a loose screw. Whatever it was, there was no way of getting out of it. Of course, this brings us back to the look Yankumi was giving the four boys. Her yakuza side threatening to surface and teach them a little lesson they would not soon forget. The four boys noticing her sinister countenance quickly took two steps back as they shook their hands in front of them with widened eyes.
"OK, OK... not a good thing." Noda cursed himself for triggering Yankumi's devil side.
"Riiiiight. Borrowing cars baaaaddd." The rest of the boys muttered. With that, her anger abated slightly and she continued what she was saying.
"If you were really going to invite me and you really wanted to go to this movie, I can borrow a car. And I mean borrow in the true sense of the word." Yankumi announced. The four boys looked at each other smiling. She had to admit it was endearing to see them so delighted at the prospect of going to a simple drive-in. 'My sweet students', she thought. Still, in the back of her mind, she found something odd about their smiling faces but she could not really put her finger on what it was that bothered her.
"When can you get it?"
"Tomorrow"
"Great! Tomorrow is Friday. Let's talk about the details at school. Make sure it can fit six people. Later!" Ucchi waved
"Hey! Hold on! Why six people? We are only five!"
"We're inviting Shin also." Minami added as a matter of fact leaving a very stunned Yankumi on the sidewalk. That strange feeling came back again. Something was definitely going on.
Dismissing the thought she pondered whether she could get away with bringing the family car to the drive-in. She decided against it. After all, a large flashy black Cadillac is a dead giveaway of the yakuza. She definitely did not want to attract attention or pique her students' interest. She'd have to talk with Wakamatsu's wife to see if she could borrow her car.
-o-
The night of the drive-in came. A sparkly-eyed Ucchi and three expectant boys watched closely the two seated in the front seats. However, as the movie progressed, the four boys in the back seat found themselves growing tired of Yankumi's play by play commentary on how stupid these people were. A series of groans escaped their lips as they saw Yankumi unfazed by all the killings. The red-haired boy used to his teacher's antics had dismissed her actions as normal. Amongst themselves the four boys murmured while Yankumi's running commentaries blared on.
"What are we gonna do?"
"I know. This movie is freakin' me out. But look at Yankumi, she might as well be watchin' a friggin' Disney movie."
"OH, MAN! WHAT AN IDIOT? See? This wouldn't be happening in Wife of Yakuza!" She said to all and no one in particular. Shin, who was sitting in the front passenger side was amused. The boys in the back rolled their eyes.
"I'm tellin' ya man! She's not normal! How's Shin gonna make a move?"
"ORYAAA!!! That's what I'm talking about." She said punching the armrest as one of the would-be victims fought the serial killer. A few seconds later...
"Well, all that excitement and now he's dead." Shin said teasing Yamaguchi. She shrugged in response as she grinned slightly embarassed.
"Well, that looked promising. They seem to be enjoying themselves."
"Let's go get something to eat. Maybe if we leave 'em alone..."
"WHO THE HELL TAKES A SHOWER WHEN THERE'S A KILLER HUNTING 'EM ONE BY ONE?"
"You're kidding, right?!" Noda raised an eyebrow.
"Come on, you never know. Let's just try." Ucchi, ever the optimist, tried to get his friends onboard.
"What's he doing? Why doesn't he just punch 'im?." And, as she said that she threw a punch in front of her as demonstration. Thus, inadvertently punching the steering wheel and jamming the horn.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
The boys were startled at the sudden noise. Yankumi quickly got off the car, opened the hood, and yanked something out effectively stopping the horn. She closed the hood to find five pairs of eyes looking at her.
"What?" It was all she could manage to say.
The red-haired boy dropped his head as he tried to suppress his laughter, his right hand placed firmly over his mouth.
"Um... My uncle is... a mech-" She was interrupted by Minami.
"You know what? ...just forget it!" The boys in the back seat, though surprised, had more pressing matters at hand. Ignoring their teacher, they proceded with Operation Shinkumi.
"We're gonna get something to eat. You guys want something?"
"Maybe a drink. What 'bout you Sawada?"
"Same here."
The four boys moved to get out of the car.
"Wait, wait! Why do y'all need to go?" She said puzzled.
". . . . . . ." The four boys searched for an excuse. It took a few seconds before someone answered.
"One person can't carry everything!" Ucchi said as if it was obvious, though he mentally slapped himself for taking so long to answer such an obvious response.
"Well, let's see... If 6 of us want drinks and 4 of us get something to-"
"Fuck, Yankumi! Don't turn this into a math problem!" She was taken aback by Noda's response.
"OK, OK... go then." She humored them. She turned her attention back to the screen.
It finally dawned on the red-haired boy their insistence in coming to the drive-in. He had originally declined but they would not hear of it. Grudgingly he accepted the invitation only to be pleasantly surprised that Yamaguchi had provided the car. He had half expected his four friends to come up with some stupid plan for getting a car. 'Heavy emphasis on the stupid part.' He smirked at the thought.
'I oughta give 'em credit' He gave them one last glance as they stepped off the car only to be greeted by 4 stupid grins and 8 thumbs up. He slowly closed his eyes as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. 'Er... Maybe not.' Resigned, he turned his attention back to the screen.
Finally the boys in the back began their trek to the concession stand. They had just taken a few steps when they heard the voice of Yankumi yelling.
"RUN! YoU frIgGIn' bAsTarDs!"
And forgetting the woman was talking to the screen, the 4 boys started running. From the rear view mirror, a red-haired boy watched his friends run like thieves caught in the act. He bit his lower lip in an attempt to stifle a laugh.
-o-
At the concession stand, the four boys mentally kicked themselves for their Pavlovian response to Yankumi's voice. An unspoken agreement was forged between the boys: This particular incident will be forgotten and never brought up again.
Ucchi who had brought a pair of binoculars was using them to spy on the couple. The girl was still flailing her arms at the screen while the boy continued watching the movie impassively.
"What the hell is Shin doing?" Kuma said eating the nachos with cheese he had just purchased. Ucchi didn't answer as he continued watching the couple through his binoculars.
"This was a stupid idea." Noda broke the silence tired of waiting for Ucchi's response. He added, "Might as well go back". Two of the boys agreed a bit disheartened at the failure of this plan.
"Hey, did Yankumi just give Shin a look", said Ucchi who had ignored his friends' complaints in favor of studying the couple.
"Lemme see!" Noda snatched Ucchi's binoculars. "Nah! You're seeing things. Besides, Shin looks bored."
"Shin always looks bored! Lemme see." Minami tried to snatch the binoculars from Noda. Noda compromised and they shared the binoculars, each one looking through one of the lenses. "Well, it's hard to tell with Shin"
"Lemme see!" Kuma snatched the binoculars away from both Noda and Minami. Peering through the lenses he watched his red-haired friend carefully. "See, with Shin, you have to look carefully. If you really look at him you'll see... he is actually happy".
"Lemme see!" All three boys said in unison trying to grab the binoculars to themselves. When things were beginning to turn into a fight, Noda tried to be the sensible one.
"Hey, hey, hey! We have to take turns. There is no way we can share. There are three of us, six eyes and only two lenses to divide among us."
Minami and Ucchi looked at each other puzzled for a few seconds and then broke into laughter.
"What's so funny?" Noda said slightly vexed.
"You're doing math." The two boys kept on laughing.
"Whatever..." Noda said annoyed. "Let's just go back to the car."
The couple did not notice their arrival. Minami bent down to give Yankumi her drink.
"Here, Yank- ugh!" Yankumi's nerves being on edge were the reason why as soon as she heard a noise outside her door, she flung a right hand punch through the open window sending Minami to the floor. The drink spilling though the cup was still clutched in his hand.
"Oh, sorry, sorry... Are ya OK?" She leaned out the window giving Shin a good view of her assets. Nobody noticed this or the sly smile on Shin's face at said view.
"Th- at was your s-soda." Minami grunted. Ucchi and Noda helped him stand up as they settled in the car. Yankumi sat in her seat completely mortified at hitting her poor, innocent student and a bit embarrassed at her faux pas.
In her heightened state of awareness, Yankumi almost lunged at the sound of approaching footsteps. A quick thinking Shin, seeing Yankumi's muscles tense and noticing Kuma's approaching footsteps, restrained both her hands.
"What happened?" said Kuma who had lagged behind, a large bag of popcorn in one of his hands.
Noda and Ucchi, seeing Shin's hands on Yankumi's gave each other knowing glances. Minami, who was still affected by Yankumi's punch, had totally missed it. He was currently trying really hard not to throw up the hot dog he had just eaten. His face was propped against the rear window in case his efforts proved fruitless.
"It's only Kuma." Shin said to Yankumi soothingly. Directing his attention to Kuma, he said "Yamaguchi accidentally hit Minami causing him to spill her drink. Could you get her another one?" Kuma seeing Shin holding Yankumi's hands smiled and nodded as he left humming a little song. Ucchi was about to open his mouth to say something but Shin's look effectively quelled any urge he might have to speak. Ucchi lowered his head and pursed his lips as Shin let go of her hands.
She felt slightly stupid. Among the kumi her reaction would have been celebrated. Not that she did it on purpose, mind you. It is just a sign of alertness. You have to be like that in order to stay alive in the yakuza. There are too many people trying to get you... However, among non-yakuza... not a good thing to do.
It dawned on her that her job was in more peril from her slips than from actual yakuza dealings. She sighed audibly. 'One of these days I'm gonna get sued for sure' Had it not been for Sawada she'd have hit Kuma as well. Poor sweet Kuma, who gave her his last piece of bread when he thought she was starving herself to save money to pay back her father's supposed debt to the yakuza. 'They are good guys.' And without thinking she reached for Shin's hand and squeezed. Sawada was taken by surprise. He looked at her quizzically. A look of gratitude was reflected on her face. He understood and squeezed her hand back as if saying 'Don't worry about it.' Had she been thinking clearly she'd have refrained from such contact. As it was, it just seemed natural. And, as quickly as it started, it ended with her assessing her need to stop beating up her students and him reflecting on the unexpected contact initiated by her.
A stray thought flitted through the back of her mind about how big Shin's hand was compared to hers like a busy buzzing fly. All attempts to mentally swat it failed.
"See? I told ya it'd work out. Call me General Ucchi!"
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever" Minami was still recovering from the punch he received all for the sake of getting those two together.
"The problem is that's all they can do in front of us," Ucchi whispered more to himself than anyone else.
"Is iT tIMe To bE thInKinG aBoUt THat gIrL wHEn ThERe iS soMeOne TrYiNg tO KILL YA?!"
"Forget it! That's all they're gonna do even if we're not here," whispered Noda.
Kuma came at this point. Shin looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. She'd tensed up but had managed to control herself. She gratefully accepted the drink and took a sip as Kuma eased into the back seat of the car where his three friends were.
"GRRRRREEAAT. He separated from the group. Ya know he's DEAD now!" Her open hand pointing to the screen.
The four boys in the back just groaned.
A/N:
1. Wrote it just because I love the boys and their simple minds and cockamamy ideas.
2. For those of you reading "Growing Up Yakuza", you know what this story means... It means ETU will be delayed a bit. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! (Beats chest with fist and puts head down in shame). BTW it is just latin for I'm very sorry. Actually it means I'm to blame but accepting blame leads to repentance (just in case someone gets literal on me).
3. I didn't do any research on drive-ins in Japan nor on what they'd eat at those drive-ins.